


A Siren's Song

by Totallynotashieldagent



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: 90s era, Angst, F/M, Fluff, French, Mutant Reader, Slow Burn, Smut, illusionist reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-02-12 03:38:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 83,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12950493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Totallynotashieldagent/pseuds/Totallynotashieldagent
Summary: The reader is a mutant. She meets Remy and Logan when she starts college in New Orleans in 1994. Everything's fine but then she disappears without a trace. However, when they finally find her, a lot of things have changed, along with the day and age.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> allure_chan gave me an extremelllyyy detailed prompt and I can't post it here because if i do, i might as well give away the whole plot and premise of this fic :P

You world stopped spinning and if Logan and Steve hadn't been there, you don't know what could've happened. The whole room flooded with a sense of unease and your heart thundered when you looked at him. It was  _him_. There was no mistaking those eyes. You would know those bright shining eyes anywhere. 

 

"Y/N," Logan's hand landed on your shoulder, "You alright, bub?"

 

Your mouth was dry, you couldn't move and talking was out of the question. 

 

"Y/N,"  _He_  looked at you,  _he_  knew your name but you couldn't remember his

 

Why couldn't you remember his name? You loved him, didn't you? You loved him, you loved him so much, you remembered loving him. You remembered your bodies against each other and the way his eyes closed in pleasure. You remembered his smile. You remembered his hands in yours. You remembered but you couldn't  _remember_. 

 

"Bub," Logan's voice was lost on you, there was a staring contest in the middle of the hallway and darkness was beginning to fall around everyone, "Y/N, snap out of it," Logan urged you but you couldn't stop it

 

You were already past saving and  _he_  kept repeating your name even though Steve was holding him back. Why was Steve holding him back? Why wasn't anyone moving? The ground felt like cement and everything was so frozen. 

 

"How?" Your voice was barely a whisper and  _he_ was looking at you as if you were the answer to every single prayer he'd made

 

"Y/N," Steve spoke loudly and your attention faltered from the man that he was holding, "Do you know Bucky?"

 

_Bucky? That's not his name. I know his name. What's his name?_  Your mind was in turmoil

 

* * *

 

"Hi, I'm Y/N," You smiled at the mirror and took a deep breath again, "Hi! I'm Y/N!" You said with a different smile, "No, no, no," You scolded yourself

 

You were finally going off to study music and you  _really_  wanted to fit in this time. Being a mutant was amazing but it also came with massive drawbacks. One of those drawbacks was that sometimes you couldn't control it. You looked out your window and saw the waves crashing on the beach in the distance. Maybe growing up in Hawaii made you choose New Orleans for studies because you wanted to be close to water. It brought you a sense of ease with every wave and sound as it collided with the rocks or even a wall. 

 

You were an illusionist in a way. You could make anyone see, feel, hear or even taste and smell whatever you wanted. Sure, on paper that sounds like a great thing but the terrible part was that you could project it on others accidentally as well. For example, if you would be feeling particularly anxious about something and if you didn't pay attention, everyone around you would start to feel anxious as well. 

 

However, it wasn't all bad. When you grandmother passed away, you made her feel at peace and her death had become a thing of grace. When in tenth grade, a guy had cornered you, your fear of him projected onto him and he began to see spiders everywhere. He'd run out screaming and you'd slipped down to floor, thanking the universe for making you this way

 

So there were some drawbacks but all in all, it was a pretty great fucking thing. 

 

You were going to start college soon and it was going to get better. Or, that's what you'd told yourself. Kurt Cobain had just died and the world was mourning but that didn't stop the world from spinning. 

 

* * *

 

The first few weeks had flown by without anyone's notice. You wanted to take up extra credit but you reminded yourself that it was still too early for it. Your roommate, however, she was enjoying the college life to the max. 

 

Her name was Amanda. She was your typical blonde hair blue-eyed girl but she was smarter than she led the boys to believe. You were a music major but she had a double major, literature and physics. It was always surprising to you that she was never staying in or working but her work was always perfect and on time. 

 

* * *

 

"Come on," Amanda whined, "You need to get out of here, Y/N,"

 

"I have to study," You shot her a look but she giggled

 

"I bet you wouldn't be so grumpy if you got laid," She sang the words and you turned red

 

"I - I don't - you don't - Stop it," You stuttered out and she laughed loudly 

 

"You know I'm right," She told you as she leaned against your desk, "One night," She offered, "What's the worse that could happen?" 

 

* * *

 

The  _worst_ was happening when she dragged you to a bloody street race in downtown New Orleans. 

 

"You said we were going to a party," You whispered harshly

 

"This  _is_  the party!" Amanda squealed, "Oh, come on. You'll be fine! Live a little," 

 

_Right,_  You groaned internally and asked yourself why did you let her make you do this? You had the answer before you even finished your question because she was right, you did need to live a little. Three months at college and you hadn't gone out even once. The December air was cold and almost prickly but you liked it. Winters were always your preferred season. Summer was great but the warmth and cosiness, the hot chocolates and the bonfires of winters were just something else entirely. 

 

You took a deep breath and felt like the cold air was playing music in your hair. Your fingers tapped against your thigh as if you were playing the piano. You'd often did it even when you were by yourself, it was a way of remembering songs and notes even when no instrument was around. It also helped you feel as if music was always around you. 

 

"Cheri," A voice approached you, "A pretty dame like you shouldn't be left alone," 

 

You turned to see the boy and his eyes knocked the breath out of you.  _Mutant_ , You just knew it. No way those eyes could belong to anyone normal. He was young, probably your age but the lines around his eyes pointed to the fact that perhaps he'd seen more than he should've.

 

"Does the pretty dame speak?" He laughed and the sound was deep as it rumbled from within his chest

 

"I'm with a friend," You finally spoke

 

"Really mon amour?" He cocked a brow as you looked around to see that Amanda was long gone

 

"I was," You sighed and decided that it wouldn't hurt to make a friend, "I'm Y/N," You stuck out your hand for him to shake 

 

"You can call me Remy or Gambit," He smiled as he pressed a ghostly kiss on your knuckles

 

"Gambit?" You narrowed your gaze

 

"Oui mon cher," Remy nodded 

 

"So, is that what you can do?" You grinned as rolled your bottom lip between your teeth and Remy's smile faltered before he broke out into a soft chuckle

 

"You're trouble, mon amie," He laughed, "Gambit likes that," 

 

* * *

 

You got to know what Remy could tap into any object's energy and turn it into kinetic energy. It was an interestingly  _explosive_  power. You showed him your illusions and soon enough, you were joined at the hip.

 

Amanda loved to take credit for you finding Remy and in a way, she was right. If she hadn't dragged you out to the street race, you would've never met Remy. You had the best of both worlds because Remy was your connection to the mutant world and Amanda kept you grounded to your humanity. 

 

* * *

 

"Where are you taking me?" You groaned as Remy dragged you through the streets

 

Your first spring break and Remy had sworn a surprise for you, however, the fact that he was dragging you through the streets after sundown, well, you were beginning to worry. 

 

"Cher," He stopped suddenly and turned to face you, "Mon amour, breathe with Gambit," He held your face in his hands and you nodded slowly 

 

Your worry was seeping into him and he knew it because there was no need for him worry at all

 

"Better?" Remy whispered and you took a deep breath, "Nothing will harm you, I swear it," 

 

You nodded again and Remy smiled widely before tugging you towards an alley

 

"What is this place?" You look at the door that had been lit with purple lights

 

"Gambit bought a club!" He told you with pride, "It's not much for now but it will be the _place to be_ soon, mon cher," 

 

He showed you around and you were honestly shocked that Remy could even afford this place. The bar was set with coloured bottles and the whole place was clean and it was _massive_. You thought that if Remy could really get this place to even run half decent, he could make a lot of money. 

 

"When do you open?" You were in awe

 

"Friday," He smiled 

 

Your lips parted to speak but the door burst open

 

"What I gotta do to get some decent whiskey around this shithole?" The man's loud voice echoed in the empty place

 

"Ah, the first client," Remy rolled his eyes, "Welcome, vieil ami," 

 

The two laughed before hugging each other

 

"God, Remy," The man groaned, "Tell me you didn't rope some poor girl into your antics," 

 

"Y/N is Gambit's friend," Remy corrected the man, "Y/N," He turned to you, "This is Logan, he's like Gambit's frère," 

 

"Nice to meet you," You quipped 

 

"Listen, kid," Logan looked into your eyes, "If this guy so much as _tries_ to mess with you, you tell me," He winked before lighting a cigar and you knew that Logan was going to be a friend that would last a lifetime

 

You laughed and Remy huffed, "I'll be sure to keep that in mind," You told Logan 

 

"How did you get roped into being his friend?" Logan puffed his cigar 

 

"My friend brought me to an illegal street race and left me alone. He was polite," You explained, "Rest is history,"

 

"Remy LeBeau? Polite?" Logan's laughed echoed, "Never thought I'd live to see the day," 

 

"Are you..." Your voice trailed off, "I mean, do you share Remy's life  _activities_?" 

 

"You askin' if I'm a mutant, bub?" He cocked a brow and you nodded as you swallowed thickly 

 

Logan gave you a soft smirk and you saw his claws come out ever so slowly. Your eyes went wide, you'd never met anyone with such a **lethal** mutantcy. A feeling of wonder filled the room.

 

"Incredible," You whispered and Logan smiled but then he got confused as to why he was excited with his own claws

 

With a swish, he pulled them back inside and you snapped out of the trance

 

"Sorry," You said sheepishly, "I can't help it sometimes," 

 

Logan gave you a look and you explained him your powers, he seemed intrigued, almost. 

 

"Like a Siren?" He chuckled and you nodded

 

"That's one way to see it," You said thoughtfully


	2. Chapter 2

Friday rolled around and the club was packed. The sweaty bodies almost stuck together as the music blared and the bass shook the floor. You had a drink in your hand and you were so at ease that it was surprising to you as well. 

 

Amanda had told everyone she knew of the club and now, almost half the population of your college was inside the disco. 

 

"Thanks for spreading the word!" You shouted to Amanda and she just smiled widely 

 

With your drink in your hand, you danced with Amanda in the centre of the floor. Lights strobed and your skin grew hot. You couldn't admit it but Amanda dragging you to the street race months ago had been the best thing for you. The atmosphere of the club was so mellow and Remy only had you to thank for it. 

 

Logan was nursing a glass of whiskey in his hands and had a soft smile on his face as he took a long drag of his cigar. He would never tell you but it had been a long time since he felt so relaxed and it was only because the music was moving through your veins and the sweat that was gleaming on your skin, you felt  _alive_ , making everyone else feel the same.

 

* * *

 

"Remy," You sang his name, "I want to show you something new," 

 

"What's on your mind, cher," He swaggered towards you and you held out your hands

 

You'd been practising all month and you wanted to show him what you'd learnt

 

"What do you see?" You spoke softly and opened your palm 

 

"Papillon," Remy whispered even though there was nothing there

 

"Touch it," You told him and his fingertip touched the delicate wing, "How does it feel?" 

 

Remy wasn't talking anymore. All his attention was on the small butterfly in your palm that only he could see. Even the colour of the wings was leaving a trace on his fingers. You took a deep breath and it disappeared from vision. Remy blinked a few times and then looked up at you.

 

"I can do it if I concentrate really hard," You said with a grin, "Not accidental anymore," 

 

"You are magnifique," He said in clear awe of you

 

"I can do bigger too but I have to concentrate harder," You frowned 

 

"Bigger?" Remy cocked a brow and you nodded furiously 

 

"Hold on," You told him and closed your eyes as you took a much deeper breath than before and when you released it, sounds of concrete filled the air. 

 

Suddenly, echoes of walls rising around the two of you astounded Remy. He was blown away your illusion. You were in a box but to anyone else who was to see you two, you were just standing in an empty nightclub. 

 

"What you two doin' standing around?" Logan's loud voice surprised you and the walls melted away 

 

"Truly magnifique," Remy smiled 

 

* * *

 

"You're absolutely sure?" Pierce looked up at the men in front of him that surrounded the silver table

 

"Yes, sir," A quiet voice spoke

 

"All of this has been verified?" He asked again

 

"On multiple occasions," Another voice confirmed 

 

"Dismissed," Pierce sent everyone away and stared at the files that sat on the desk 

 

Pictures of you littered the table. In college, in class, on the street, eating an ice cream with Remy, volunteering at the local shelter with Logan. You had first popped up on HYDRA's radar when you and Logan had become friends. However, your own unique mutantcy made you a valuable asset to be acquired as well. 

 

* * *

 

"Well, that's cliched," Amanda laughed and you were startled by the sudden intrusion

 

"I'm practising," You rolled your eyes

 

"Really?" She cocked a brow and sat down beside you, "Looked like you were trying to  _serenade_ that boy you're always with," 

 

"Remy and I aren't together," You corrected her for the thousandth time and pressed the piano keys softly again; you'd been trying to get the notes right for a while 

 

"Sure, you aren't," She said sarcastically, "Just like Jenny isn't sucking Adam's cock in the locker rooms after PE," 

 

You choked on air and coughed, "Why do you have to be so... vile?" 

 

"Speaking the truth, babygirl!" Amanda giggled loudly 

 

"I still need to finish this piece," You huffed but Amanda stood up and sat on the keys, making you wince but you had to keep your breathing even

 

"Please, just," She said softly, "There's more to life than being stuck here,"

 

"Music makes me feel good," You said quietly, "And I go to the club almost every Friday!"

 

"Honey, you're literally babysitting Remy so he doesn't burn down the place," Amanda laughed and leaned closer, "Plus, sex is better than any music you could ever make," 

 

"I'll hold you to that," You shot back with a smirk 

 

"Well," She stood up and smoothed out her criminally short skirt, "You better turn into the next Beethoven with all the work you're putting in," 

 

And just like that, she was gone and silence surrounded you until your tapped on the black and white keys. It was your second year at college and you'd somehow evaded the whole dating scene. You couldn't really blame Amanda for thinking that you were dating Remy. You two were practically glued to each other all the time. 

 

_Maybe she's right_ , You couldn't help but come to that conclusion and decided that you'll visit another bar 

 

* * *

 

"You're breaking Gambit's heart, mon amour," Remy said dramatically

 

"You'll find someone else to fix it," You laughed 

 

"There's un autre man," He stated with shock 

 

"Not yet," You said playfully, "That's why I'm going to another bar," You explained, "I'm going to die single between you and Logan,"

 

"Logan and Gambit is all you need, cher," He smiled and you shook your head

 

"I'm serious!" You squealed, "You two scare away all the boys," 

 

"New Orleans has dangers in shadows," His voice dropped

 

"And you know that  _I'm_  perfectly capable of keeping myself safe," You locked your eyes with him and he  _felt_  your determination 

 

* * *

 

"She won't be with Weapon X tomorrow night," A man told Pierce and he nodded

 

"Very well," He spoke softly, "Prepare Winter," 

 

* * *

 

You sat at a bar in and ran your finger over the rim of your glass. Amanda had suggested this place but you felt a little out of your depth, honestly. The music wasn't that great and you hadn't seen anyone who could be worth your attention. You took one last look around and paid for your drink. Thinking to look for a payphone to call Remy so he could come get you. It was getting late and you didn't want to walk back. You weren't drunk but a happy buzz was still not safe enough in the streets. 

 

You bumped into someone as soon as you walked out of the bar, "Excuse me, I'm so-, " Your words stopped as you looked at the stranger with the shoulder length hair that framed his face

 

"It's alright," He smiled softly and you grinned as well

 

"Still, I'm really sorry," You ran your fingers through your hair, you didn't know if he was making you feel warm or if it was the three drinks you'd just had, "I didn't see where I was going," 

 

"No harm, doll," He winked and you felt weak in your knees

 

"I'm Y/N," You stuck out your hand to shake it

 

"Winter," He shook your hand softly 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun dun :O


	3. Chapter 3

"Winter," He shook your hand softly 

 

"Winter? Like the season?" You smirked and his tongue glossed over his teeth before he smiled

 

"Somethin' like that," He nodded and you two just looked at each other

 

You didn't know how to proceed and you weren't sure if he was even interested. 

 

"Anyway-," You began

 

"You wanna get a drink inside?" Winter pointed to the bar you'd just come out of

 

You knew better. You hardly knew the man and you were already three drinks down. However, you decided to through caution out the wind and nodded.

 

"I'd like that," You smiled and he held the door open for you

 

* * *

 

"How did you manage to stay out  _all_  night, Y/N?" Amanda squealed, "I'm proud, honey!"

 

"I couldn't say no!" You groaned, "His eyes,  _god_ , his eyes. So deep. And when he laughed?" You sighed, "It was  _magical_ ," 

 

"You went out  _once_ and you're in love already?" She laughed, "Explore the market before you decide to pick one," 

 

"I'll see him again," You gushed, "I'm telling you. This one is really  _something_ ," 

 

 

"What was his name again?" She asked because you had gushed about him but never revealed a name

 

"Winter," You said dreamily

 

"Like the season?" Amanda cocked a brow

 

"Something like that," You repeated his words from the night before 

 

"No last name?" She pointed out and that's when everything came to a halt

 

"I never asked," You gasped, "And he never asked mine!" 

 

"How are you gonna see lover boy again?" She giggled and you rolled your eyes

 

"Well, he walked me back," You explained, "So... if he wanted to meet me, he'll come around. Right?"

 

"I hope you gave him something to get back to," Amanda wiggled her brows and you groaned into the pillow before trying to sleep off your hangover

 

* * *

 

"Mission report," Pierce sat on a chair and Winter sat with squared shoulders 

 

There was no smile on his face, no shine in his eyes and no glow to his skin. He took a deep breath and explained everything he had learned about you the night before. From how you liked your drinks to which pet you had growing up. He told about the water bringing you calmness and hence, your choice of New Orleans. He told about your love for music and how your fingers would always tap against any and every surface as it helped you remember the notes.

 

Most of the things that Winter was telling Pierce weren't something you had told him. It was purely observational and the fact that he had been taught everything about you. 

 

Pierce nodded, listening to every detail that he was being told about you. The things that could never be found in any file or seen through any picture. Needless to say, he was pleased with how you'd reacted to Winter and he had the slightest smile on his face because it meant that what he had envisioned for you was going to come true. 

 

"Put him back," Pierce told a subordinate

 

"Yes sir," The subordinate nodded

 

* * *

 

A week passed and you heard nothing from Winter. You weren't disheartened but you just had honestly  _felt_  somewhat of a spark that could lead to fireworks but all that was just a dream because he hadn't come back to visit you. 

 

"You know, you should start paying me," You said loudly, "I'm always here. I help you set up for the weekend and everything," 

 

"You wish for Gambit to be your patron?" Remy walked up to you cockily

 

"I would like," You smiled, "To be paid for my labour," 

 

"Gambit went through all the difficulté to make you partenaire," He sighed, "But you wish to be an employé," 

 

The glass from your hand dropped onto the bar and you stared at Remy

 

"Pause, rewind, repeat," You gasped, "What?!"

 

"Like, Gambit, said, mon amour," He began again but you hugged the wind out of him 

 

"But, why?" You couldn't understand

 

"Y/N is Gambit's friend," He offered as his arms wrapped around you

 

"You give all your friends a title in your business?" You laughed

 

"Only vrais amis, mon cher," He nodded

 

"Oh, you're gonna make me cry," You giggled 

 

"Trois Mousquetaires, cher," Remy said dramatically, "Gambit, you and Logan," 

 

"Speaking of," You pulled away, "Where is Mr Claws?" 

 

"Mon amour, I thought you liked Gambit more," He faked a sadness

 

"I love you  _both_ , equally," You scolded him

 

"But Gambit is more beau mec," He laughed and you rolled your eyes

 

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Le Beau," You smiled as you spoke his last name with an added accent 

 

* * *

 

You were outside the club in the back alley. It had been over four months since you'd seen Winter and you had lost hope that he'd come around. 

 

"Mind if I join you?" A familiar voice cut through the bass that was coming through the door next to you

 

"Depends," You shrugged as you drank from the wine bottle

 

"On what, doll?" Winter came into view under the flickering light

 

"On why you never came around to see me," You took another swig

 

"I don't live around here," He offered as he leaned against the wall next to you

 

"Where do you live?" You looked at him 

 

"A little further than here," He said vaguely

 

"How far is  _further_?" You cocked a brow and he chuckled

 

"I see you prefer getting straight to the point," Winter kicked off the wall and stood in front of you 

 

The hair that covered his face made him seem so menacing and you swallowed visibly. His gloved hand touched yours briefly as he stole the bottle from you and took a particularly large sip. 

 

"Where do you live?" You repeated 

 

"Seattle," He smiled as he handed you back the bottle 

 

"What are you doing here?" You couldn't help as the words fell from your lips because it was on the other side of the country

 

"Wanted to see you again," Winter stood closer than necessary as he tucked a stray hair behind your ear

 

You could feel your skin growing hot under his touch, "Why?" Your voice was barely a whisper

 

"Shouldn't I have?" He smirked and leaned towards you

 

The bottle slipped from your fingers and shattered on the ground. His body pressed against yours slowly and your breaths became shallow. Winter could  _feel_  your arousal in the air and he smiled ever so slightly before kissing you softly. 

 

His lips were smooth and tasted like the wine that you'd been drinking. You reacted almost naturally to his touch when his fingers tightened at your waist. You moaned into his mouth and felt him smile. 

 

However, it was over far too quickly for you and he pulled away. 

 

"I'll be seein' you, sweetheart," He winked and strutted away 

 

As soon as he was out of view, the door burst open and you stumbled with a yelp

 

"Mon amour, where have you been?" Remy was visibly worried and his expressions changed as the feeling of the alley seeped into him

 

"I.. Uh-," You swallowed, "Sorry," You mumbled and brushed past him back into the club

 

Remy stood dumbfounded as the feeling of  _lust_ suddenly left with you. 

 

* * *

 

You didn't understand why but you _wanted_ to keep WInter a secret. Logan was extremely protective of you and you felt as if he'd somehow taken on the responsibility of your parental guardian of sorts. You didn't mind it because it meant that unwanted advances were kept at bay. However, even very wanted and expected advances were also not coming through. 

 

You'd been emptying your pockets for laundry a few weeks later when you discovered a card in your jacket pocket. On one side it stated ' _Call Me_ ' and on the other side, there was a number. You twisted the card in your fingers and stuffed it in your jeans pocket. You decided to talk it over with Amanda since she knew more about boys than you and Logan or Remy would never understand where you were coming from.

 

* * *

 

"Hey, girlie," Amanda said cheerfully as she walked in

 

"I need to talk to you," You finally came around to it after two weeks

 

"What's going on?" She dropped her bag to the floor, "Ohgodyou'repregnant!" Her words jumbled together

 

"What?" Your brows furrowed, "No! I'm not pregnant,"

 

"Oh thank god," She sighed, "Then why the face?" 

 

"I saw him again," You confessed

 

"I hope you kicked his ass," She rolled her eyes, "Fucker disappeared for months,"

 

"He said he lives in Seattle," You sat down with Amanda on the bed

 

"How do you know he's not lying?" She frowned

 

"I just... do," You offered weakly 

 

"Did something happen?" She met your eyes and you avoided her gaze

 

"He kissed me," You breathed slowly so you wouldn't make Amanda feel what you'd felt when Winter had pressed up against you

 

"How was it?" She squealed and you gushed as you repeated everything, play by play

 

* * *

 

"Will you be requiring the Soldier soon?" A man asked Pierce

 

"Can't say," Pierce shrugged

 

"The Superiors would like to use him on the weekend," He stated

 

"You lot do know that his programming doesn't let him run multiple missions at once," Pierce was growing annoyed, "Use any of the other ones,"

 

"They expressed their  _wish_  to use Winter's services," He pressed

 

"I do not like repeating myself," Pierce's cold eyes met the man's gaze

 

"We need it to be quiet," He persisted

 

"Then do it quietly," Pierce smiled, "Good day," 

 

* * *

 

The news of the assassination of Dzhokhar Dudayev flooded the news as his satellite cell phone was what gave away his location. 

 

"So that's what they wanted him for?" Pierce chuckled as he saw the news

 

"She's doing pretty well, you know," A voice entered Pierce's room

 

"She likes Winter?" He turned to look at her

 

"Very much," She nodded, "You might want to send him more often,"

 

"What makes you think that?" He cocked a brow

 

"She's a virgin and she said that she might sleep with him if it came to it," She sighed and sat down on the chair, putting her feet on Pierce's cherrywood desk, "If you want Winter to be her first and  _only_ , then you need to move her,"

 

"Since when do you dictate what I do?" Pierce chuckled

 

"Since you decided for me to go to college all over again," She seethed

 

"Now,  _Amanda_ , don't tell me that you aren't enjoying every bit of it all," He smiled venomously 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i LIVE for plottwists!!!! 
> 
>  
> 
> and jbtw Dzhokhar Dudayev was killed in 1996 april (keeping the timeline real)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little about amanda's story and her conclusion in knowing what you were

Amanda brushed her hair slowly as you slept. She knew you were having a good dream because of the feeling that floated in the room. It was contentment and ease, and well, the soft smile on your face was an obvious indicator as well. 

 

She wasn't assigned to you; HYDRA hadn't even known of your existence or any other mutants in the area. However, it was a long-term plan of HYDRA in which an agent or two were processed through a university all over the world. At any given time, every education institute held at least  _one_  HYDRA agent. They could be teachers, students, substitutes, exchange students, janitors, lab assistants or even principals and deans. 

 

Some agents had enjoyed the simplicity of their undercover operation but then, there were agents like Amanda who hated going to college with every fibre of their being. She already had multiple degrees and she was a  _good_  agent, that's why she didn't understand why she had been boxed in a school and not serving in the field. 

 

However, when you came into view due to a series of events, she was glad that she had been the one to deliver you to HYDRA. 

 

* * *

 

The first time was when Amanda was sitting on the bed and you walked in with your bags; she was engulfed with a feeling of anxiety. She didn't understand it. Agents of HYDRA didn't feel  _anxious_  unless they had fucked up a job and were answering to their superiors. 

 

"Hi! I'm Y/N!" You'd introduced yourself excitedly and Amanda had shaken your hand with a smile

 

"I'm Amanda," She had smiled and you two had struck a conversation about what majors you were in

 

* * *

 

The second time was when she saw you hanging out with a red and black-eyed boy when auburn hair and a brown overcoat, no matter the weather. 

 

"Why do you keep hanging out that guy?" Amanda made a face as you came back, thinking why would a mutant hang out with a human

 

"Who? Remy?" You felt offended 

 

"Yeah, he's trouble," She nodded

 

"He's a nice guy..." You defended him, "Trust me! He's a sweetie,"

 

* * *

 

The third time when she was convinced there was something going on was when you started hanging out with Logan. That's when Amanda had alerted her superiors of Weapon X surfacing. That's when she explained the changes in her emotions at occasions which in which she had been in control. There were a series of tests to make sure that she was physically alright. 

 

However, when you became inseparable from Weapon X, that's when HYDRA connected the dots between their Agent's changes in emotions and you. 

 

"Agent," A man entered and Amanda nodded to him

 

"Were the reports conclusive?" She asked with a stiff posture and the doctor nodded

 

"It seems that your roommate is perhaps a mutant," The doctor explained that your abilities may be that of illusion creations and that changes in Amanda's emotions were because of her accidental projection of them 

 

"She's learning to control," Amanda clarified, "The feelings have lessened over time," 

 

"She has been with Weapon X for almost a year," He agreed, "He is showing her control,"

 

"Do we know the extent of her powers?" She asked and the doctor shook his head

 

"Afraid not," He stood up, "However, you're good to go and resume your duties," 

 

"Yeah, going to college for the fuckteenth time," Amanda mumbled under her breath

 

"What was that Agent?" The doctor turned around 

 

"Nothing, sir," She smiled assuringly

 

"I'll be forwarding your data to Mr Pierce," He stated and just like that, he was gone

 

Pierce had been delighted to have found someone like you. He had envisioned a world of potential with you at the centre of it. The things HYDRA could accomplish if he got you on his side. 

 

* * *

 

"She'll be at the bar I told her to go to," Amanda informed Pierce

 

"Thank you, Agent," Pierce smiled and Winter was being prepped for the evening during which he was supposed to run into you

 

* * *

 

Amanda shook herself from her thoughts as you stirred. She looked down at the paper Pierce had given her and took a deep breath to fall back into character. 

 

"Wake up, sleepyhead!" Amanda sang the words loudly and you groaned as you placed a pillow on your head

 

"Go away," Your words were muffled under the covers

 

"Really?" She faked a sadness, "Guess I'll throw away this exchange programme booklet," 

 

You shot up straight, "What?" 

 

"Oh, nothing," She shrugged dramatically, "Just this music programme for the summer... in Seattle,"

 

"Seattle?" You squeaked

 

"You know, maybe you could meet  _loverboy_  and become Beethoven," Amanda sighed as she folded the papers and shoved them in her jacket pocket

 

"Amanda, show me th-," You fell off the bed in a tangled mess of covers and limbs

 

"Whoops," She laughed and you chuckled too, "I'll show it to you but you owe me Starbucks," She announced, "Get ready, babygirl, we're goin' out!"

 

* * *

 

"Remy!" You burst through the doors as soon as your classes ended for the day, "Come on, Remy. I need to talk to you and Claws,"

 

"What you yelling about?" Logan's voice entered as wiped his hands off of his jeans, "Good news, I guess, bub," He smirked and you scowled 

 

You lost control  _again_  and they felt your excitement 

 

"I'm applying for a summer exchange to Seattle!" You squealed, "It's an amazing programme, focusing on  _everything_  audio. I'll get to study music, sound, notes, audio projection, mixing, sound design with the best teachers from _all over the world_. Oh, gosh! It's the best thing ever!"

 

"You gotta apply first, kid," Logan chuckled as he patted your back 

 

"Right," You remembered, "I'll do it tonight," 

 

"Leaving, mon amie?" Remy's voice felt sad 

 

"Just for the summer," You explained, " _If_ I get accepted and I'll write to you guys throughout!" 

 

"How about a drink?" Logan announced and you two agreed

 

"To Y/N," Logan said proudly, "If anyone can make it in this shithole of a country, it's you," 

 

The glasses clinked and your waves of excitement were seeping through the club 

 

* * *

 

"Progress?" Pierce called Amanda

 

"She'll apply," Amanda stated, "She's very excited and even though she's trying to control it, it's washing off of her in waves," 

 

"Brilliant," Pierce was happy with how things were going to turn out 

 

He hung up and turned to the team behind himself

 

"Pack up," He announced, "We're relocating," Pierce left the room, relieved that he was finally leaving the cold and freezing to move to Seattle, where their operations will be more concentrated and frequent 

 

* * *

 

"How long do you think I'll have to wait to hear back from them?" You looked at Amanda

 

"I'm sure you'll hear from them soon," She told you assuringly, "You're _good_ at what you do! They'll be stupid to not let you in!"

 

You fell back into bed, content with Amanda's words of encouragement, "I don't know what I would've done without you,"

 

"I live to serve!" She stated dramatically before you both started laughing 

 

"You know," You took a deep breath, "Seattle is a big city, what if I don't meet him?"

 

"Don't you have a number or something?" She cocked a brow and you remembered the card Winter had left in your jacket

 

"I do!" You sat up and rummaged through a pair of jeans that you'd stuffed the piece of paper into, "Got it!" 

 

You showed Amanda the little card that Winter had left you and eyes swept over it, "Are you gonna call  _loverboy_?" She giggled 

 

You rolled your eyes at the nickname Amanda had given Winter and weighed your thoughts

 

"Okay, let's say that I do call him," You began, "What will I say?" 

 

"Tell him you can't stop thinking about that kiss in the alley," She pointed out and you groaned

 

"I don't want him to think that I only want to have...  _sex_  with him..." Your voice dropped at 'sex' 

 

"Just say Hi," She offered instead, "Tell him your name and if he remembers you, great! If not, well, we'll just do a prank call and hang up,"

 

You nodded your head, it did sound like a foolproof plan

 

"Okay," You took a deep breath and Amanda pulled out her cell phone for you, "You sure? I was gonna use the phone downstairs," 

 

"No, I wanna listen in!" She said happily and you grinned as you sat down on her bed and dialled the number 

 

It rang for a while and went to an answering machine, "Winter here. I'm out, leave a message and I'll get back to you. Ya know, if I get around to it," You heard him chuckle softly and it was followed by a beep 

 

You looked at Amanda and she urged you to speak, "Hey, it's Y/N, you- uhhh - you left your card in my jacket, well, you didn't _leave_ it, you put it there when you saw me in the - ahem- alley- and like, well... uhh -" You stuttered so much that a beep came and the time for the message ended

 

"Real smooth," She laughed and you groaned

 

"Why am I so bad at this?" You buried your face in a pillow 

 

"I'm sure he'll call you back!" She said excitedly, "You know... if he's into stuttering girls," 

 

* * *

 

A few weeks went by and your anxiety was through the roof, much to Amanda's annoyance. 

 

"Just send her the damn letter!" Amanda told Pierce, "I'm going to lose my mind. She's fucking anxious all the time and it's rubbing off on me!"

 

"Patience," Pierce said calmly

 

"Fuck you," She spat, "Either you send an acknowledgement or I take a  _spontaneous_ road trip to Seattle with her," 

 

"Don't forget your place, Agent," His voice grew cold and threatening

 

"I'm not forgetting my place but I want her out of my hair," Amanda sighed, "Just bring her to Seattle and transfer me to covert operations," 

 

"One little mutant and you've thrown out your years of training?" Pierce laughed condescendingly 

 

"Sir, Y/N isn't just _one little mutant_. She's only scratched the surface of her powers," She explained and Pierce perked up at her words, "She can cast illusions as well. It's all accidental right now but she could be trained into an assassin better than Winter and Widow combined," 

 

Pierce's face smiled wickedly.  _Better than Winter and Widow combined_  were the best set of words he had ever heard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know amanda is supposed to be the bad guy but idk, i can't seem to hate her - like, she's just doing her job!


	5. Chapter 5

"I got in!" You shouted through the halls of the dorms, "I got in! Amanda!" 

 

"I'm assuming you got in?" She laughed and you pulled her into a hug

 

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" You told her excitedly, "If wasn't for you, I wouldn't even know about this!"

 

"Well, I love taking credit," She winked and you laughed 

 

It was mid-May and you were practically bouncing with excitement. You were going to go to Seattle for three months and all that came crashing down when you remembered Winter.

 

"What? Why the long face?" Amanda frowned, "I thought we were gonna celebrate!" 

 

"Well, Winter never called back and... what if I do run into him and he thinks I'm a crazy stalker?" Your brows furrowed 

 

"His answering machine said that he wasn't great in getting back to messages," She told you softly and you nodded, "And well, if he does think you're a crazy stalker then his loss," 

 

You perked up at her words, "What would I do without you?" You sighed as you hugged her again 

 

"Crash and burn?" She offered sarcastically and you smirked 

 

* * *

 

"So when do you leave?" Logan asked slowly when you'd shown him that you'd gotten into the programme 

 

"Two weeks," You said softly, "Are you mad that I'm going?"

 

"Why would you say that, kid?" He cocked a brow and you looked away

 

"It started recently," You confessed, "I can  _feel_  what others are feeling too. I'm not that good with it yet but I know that you're feeling something else, something not positive," 

 

"Tellin' you bub, all this, it's just the tip of iceberg," He told you with a smirk

 

"You think so?" You gasped

 

"Know so," He winked and you smiled, "And I ain't sad that you're goin'. I'm proud of you," He looked at you and you felt like you were  _home_  with him because he was just so much like family, "But, I am worried,"

 

"Worried about what?" You were confused

 

"It's a big world," Logan sighed

 

"I'm only going to  _Seattle_ ," You rolled your eyes 

 

Logan was about to say something but suddenly you were hit with a wave of sadness and it made your eyes water

 

"Remy," You gasped as you turned to meet his gaze 

 

"Mon amour," Remy forced a smile, "Gambit wishes you luck for your voyage," 

 

You slipped off the barstool and hugged Remy tightly. His arms wrapped around you as he in a deep breath. You knew that he wasn't just sad, he was almost...  _afraid_. 

 

"I know you're sad," You whispered, "Don't lie and tell me that you're not," 

 

"Vous êtes trop précieux pour ce monde et Gambit vous aime trop pour son propre bien," He sighed and you pulled away to look into his eyes

 

"My French isn't that great, you know," You smirked 

 

"You will do great things and Gambit wishes you luck," Remy lied because that wasn't what he had said but you didn't know any better

 

"We still have a few weeks until I go," You assured him, "I'll be around as much as I can," 

 

Remy smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. He just felt like there was something  _off_  about the whole thing. He didn't doubt your talents and his mind kept going back to that night in the alley and the feeling that you had been projecting. It never happened again but there was just something amiss in you and he couldn't place it.

 

"Swear to Gambit that you will keep safe," Remy cradled your face in his hands and you nodded

 

"I promise," You smiled 

 

* * *

 

"Name," Pierce asked

 

"Winter," Winter answered

 

"Where do you live?" Pierce probed

 

"Seattle," Winter stated

 

"Where do you go to school? What do you study and where do you work?" Pierce questioned

 

"University of Washington," Winter spoke, "I study engineering and advanced physics. I take the evening shifts at the café near the campus,"

 

"Tell me about yourself," Pierce sat comfortably in his chair, whereas Winter was bound into a seat with leather straps and buckles

 

"My name is Winter Williams. I'm an only child, my parents died a few years ago," He explained, "They left me a fortune, that's why I have my own apartment and I don't live on campus but I work to keep myself busy. My closest friends are Brock Rumlow and Steve Rogers," 

 

"Fucking hell," Pierce swore under his breath, "Wipe him and start over!" He barked orders and everyone went to work

 

Training Winter was harder this time around because he was to stay out of Cyro for long periods of time so you wouldn't be suspicious. He needed to have a personality and a past, he couldn't just be the killing machine that he had been trained for. 

 

* * *

 

"Have you decided how you wanna go yet?" Amanda asked as you had started to pack already with just a week to go

 

"I don't know," You shrugged, "I could fly but that's gonna cost me,"

 

"Well," She walked around the room, "How about a road trip?"

 

"A road trip?" You folded your arms over your chest

 

"Yes! The drive is less than two days and between the two of, we could make a weekend out of it," She offered 

 

"But then you'll have to come back alone," You frowned 

 

"That's alright," She assured you but you shook your head

 

"Not safe," You stated, "I'll figure something out. You don't worry," You smiled at Amanda, "You've already been amazing," 

 

* * *

 

"She won't take the trip with me," Amanda called Pierce

 

"Why not?" He sounded annoyed 

 

"She thinks it's not safe enough for me to drive back to New Orleans," She sighed

 

"How else will she arrive?" He pointed out 

 

"Perhaps with Weapon X," She spoke softly because she  _knew_  that that would anger Pierce and she was right

 

"Figure this out," Pierce seethed, "I don't care how. She can't arrive with X,"

 

"Yes, sir," Amanda stated and hung up

 

* * *

 

"Cher," Remy's voice was soft

 

"Yeah," You answered absentmindedly as you ticked your checklist to make sure that you had everything but with only a week left, you were still not sure how you were going to travel

 

"You're not listening to Gambit," He nudged your side and you suddenly looked at him

 

He had a lopsided smile but he wasn't wearing his coat. In the time you'd known him, it was probably the first time you hadn't seen him in layers. 

 

"I'm sorry," You smiled, "What were you saying?" You turned to face him completely

 

"Gambit got you a present," He sat down on the barstool in front of you and handed you a manila envelope

 

"What's this?" You looked at him suspiciously and undid the hook

 

There were a lot of documents and pages with your signatures. You looked at him again but his grin made you smile too. He was  _proud_  of himself.

 

"These are a lot of  _legal_  documents," You concluded

 

"Gambit had made you partner," He reminded you and you nodded, "The paperwork finally came, mon amie," 

 

"So, wait, hold on," Your eyes swept over the document and your saw the figure, '24.5%' and the then the figures of how much money was going into your account since the club had been open for over a year, "Wait, how did you get my bank balance?" You gasped as you saw the debit cards 

 

"Mon amour, Gambit has his ways," He told you softly and you remembered his powers of  _persuasion_  

 

You had no words to explain how you felt. The money that was coming because of the club had suddenly solved many of your problems. You had means to fly to Seattle and also had the option of not taking up a summer job as well. 

 

"I..." You stuttered, "I'm-, thank you, Remy," 

 

You hugged him tightly and he kissed your temple. You kept thanking him as you ran out of the club to finalize everything, leaving Remy in the place.

 

"Talk to me, bub," Logan's voice echoed in the emptiness

 

"This doesn't se sentir bien," Remy said slowly, "Maybe Gambit is paranoid," 

 

"Nah, I feel you," Logan agreed, "This just feels like everything is going very fast," Remy nodded 

 

Remy and Logan strongly felt like everything was just a little  _off_  but neither of them wanted to bring you down. Logan's original plan was to follow you to make sure that you settled in alright but since you had told him that you could  _feel_  other people's emotions as well, he dropped the idea because he figured that you were going to get stronger and you'd be able to pinpoint a person through their emotions. 

 

* * *

 

"She'll be flying to Seattle," Amanda informed Pierce

 

"Good work," Pierce stated and Amanda didn't bother in telling him that it wasn't because of her that you were flying 

 

"Sir, if I may," She began, "Why Seattle?"

 

"Y/N asked Winter where he lived and he told her the first S state he could think of," He sighed, "That's why we're in Seattle. Anything's better than fucking Serbia," 

 

* * *

 

"You sure you got everything?" Logan asked for the thousandth time

 

"Yes," You nodded, "I'm sure," 

 

"You call us as soon as you get in," He told you and you nodded again, "Write every week if not every few days," He instructed 

 

"Yes, I know," You smiled, "I'll promise to keep in touch," 

 

"And if anything happens and you need us to get you out," His voice dropped, "You send me a letter or call or anything, you send a message,"

 

You laughed but then you saw the seriousness in Logan's eyes, "Okay, let's say I  _do_ get in trouble, how will you know its really me calling for help?" 

 

Logan's face broke into a smile as if he'd been waiting for you to ask that question, "You'll know if the time ever comes," 

 

"Alright then," You said slowly

 

The announcement went on that your plane was ready to board

 

"Is Remy coming?" You looked around hopefully 

 

"Can't say, kid," Logan sighed, "It's Friday, so you know he's busy with the club," 

 

You nodded numbly, "Yeah, well, I'll be seeing you, Claws," 

 

"Be safe, bub," He hugged you and you rushed through the gates, "Please be safe," Logan spoke to himself as he watched you walk through the doors and disappear in the crowd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp - well, thats why its seattle because winter got confused and said seattle instead of serbia - where he was kept 
> 
> and ooohh seattle will be very fluffy and slightly smutty - you know - before the angst floods


	6. Chapter 6

You landed and thanked your karma that your luggage didn't get lost. You had one massive suitcase, one smaller one and a huge backpack along with a purse on your shoulder. You were surprised that you could carry all of it by yourself as well. 

 

"When in Rome," You reminded yourself as you hailed a cab 

 

You figured that you could call Logan to let him know that you had reached safely when you got to the school. You had an odd feeling that you were being watched but you brushed it off as being the weird girl with a shit ton of luggage. 

 

* * *

 

"Target is in sight," A woman informed Pierce, "She's hailed the cab which we placed for her,"

 

"Good," Pierce acknowledged, "Keep me informed,"

 

"Yes, sir," She replied and hung up

 

* * *

 

"All lines have been tapped," A man told Pierce, "We'll be aware of all the calls the Target makes,"

 

"And letters?" Pierce asked

 

"They will be intercepted as well," He nodded, "We've got all agents in places as you requested,"

 

"Very well," Pierce was extremely pleased with how everything was slowly falling into place

 

Of course, he could have had you taken from the heart of New Orleans as well but he wanted to test a few theories of his own.

 

Winter was supposed to impregnate Widow but the Red Room had a strict policy of sterilizing all agents. However, you were a virgin and right for the picking. Pierce wanted a child that was conceived out of  _love_ but for that, it meant that Winter had to develop a personality and you had to fall in love with him, consequently having a child for Pierce to play with  _genetically_. 

 

Pierce was a twisted man and he was willing to do everything possible to make his plans come true.

 

* * *

 

"Hey," You called Logan, "I'm all settled in,"

 

"We've been waiting for your call for hours," Logan shot back

 

"Yeah, but I thought to call when I got settled in. Once and for all," You explained, "Anyway! I'm here and classes start Tuesday,"

 

"Roommates?" He asked

 

"Just the one," You told him, "I haven't met her but the guys told me that she should be here in a few hours," 

 

"Guys?" He spoke slowly

 

"Yeah, it's a co-ed dorm," You mumbled

 

"You didn't tell us that," He stated

 

"It's just a summer program," You swallowed, "So, not many people are around, that's why they're just putting all the programme people in one building,"

 

"I guess," Logan eased slightly

 

"Is Remy around?" You asked expectantly 

 

Logan sighed, "Nah, kid. He just headed out," 

 

"Oh. I see," You were sad because Remy hadn't come to see you off, "Tell him I love him,"

 

"You want me to kiss him too while I'm at it?" He chuckled

 

"Only if you want to," You smiled, "I have to go, but I'll write as much as I can,"

 

"Sure thing, kid," He said softly, "Be safe,"

 

"Will do," You said quickly, "Love you, bye," 

 

You hung up as another student had to use the phone and made your way to the third floor. You were about to unlock the door when you saw someone approaching you.

 

"Hey, new girl," A guy called out and you were startled by the attention

 

"Uhh... I guess?" You looked at him accusingly as you could feel overconfident cockiness coming off of him in waves 

 

"You're one of the few newbies we've got for the summer," He told you as he leaned against the doorframe of your room 

 

"That's usually how colleges work," You stated and his eyes swept all over you

 

"True," He smirked, "But they ain't as pretty as you," 

 

You wanted to throw up, "Thanks but like, when you have some  _actual_  news, let me know," You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms

 

"Oh, you got a mouth on you, don't ya?" He stalked closer and you took a step back

 

 _How the fuck is the corridor so abandoned?_  You were about to push him off completely or at least distract him, another voice cut through

 

"Oi, what you doin' around here?" Another boy called out, "You're not in the programme," 

 

"Fuckin' cunt," The guy in front of you swore under his breath

 

As the two began to argue, you slipped past them and into your room. You took deep breaths because your mind just kept reminding you that the situation could've gone South. Mutant or not. You shut the door behind yourself and paced around. 

 

 _Is this what college is supposed to be like?_ You asked yourself because New Orleans had been nothing like that but then again, Amanda or Logan and Remy never left your side

 

A loud knock jolted you from your thoughts.

 

"Hey, I got rid of that guy," A male voice said loudly from the other side

 

"Thanks," You answered without opening the door 

 

"You should open the door so I can meet you," He said with a soft chuckle

 

"I think I'm good," You said thoughtfully

 

"Well, it's your choice but it would be awkward if you met me on Monday," He laughed and you opened the door

 

"In class?" You finally looked at the boy, no, the man that was standing in front of you 

 

"You can call me Mr Rumlow," He laughed, "Right now, however, you can call me Brock,"

 

"Aren't you a little young to be a teacher?" You couldn't resist the curiosity and his face broke into a wide smile

 

"That's because I'm not a professor," Brock explained, "I'm just gonna help everyone settle in and just get along smoothly,"

 

"You're the guidance counsellor?" You gasped 

 

"Yup," He popped the P and you were flabbergasted, "And I think that you have a meeting with me on Monday morning?"

 

"10:30," You nodded 

 

"Great, I'll see you then," He said softly, "Take care," 

 

"Thanks," Your eyes trailed behind him as he waltzed out of the corridor

 

* * *

 

"Do you really think it was wise for me to be in the field so openly?" Brock looked at Pierce

 

"You need to be close by," Pierce explained, "Winter keeps having troubles in remembering some things. Your placement will ensure his submissiveness,"

 

"Understood," Broke nodded, "How many others are there?" 

 

"The roommate is ours," Pierce explained, "The Director as well and you," 

 

* * *

 

You were asleep when the noise began. The turning of the key, you were frozen in fear but kept your feelings in control. 

 

"Arrggghhh," A female voice groaned and it was followed by a squeal and a tumble

 

You shot up and threw on the lights. Your eyes met a brunette girl with the clearest green eyes you'd ever seen.

 

"I'm so sorry," She gushed, "I was trying to be quiet but I tripped," 

 

"It's alright," You got out of bed, "I guess you're my roommate,"

 

"I'm Sasha," She said with a smile as you helped her up, "I'm really so sorry for waking you up," 

 

"No, no," You assured her, "It's completely alright," 

 

"I travelled by bus," She sighed, "I've been on the road for two days," 

 

"Come on," You smiled, "Let's get you to bed,"

 

"My luggage," She looked at the mess

 

"We'll fix it in the morning," You promised her, "Right now, I think it's best that we both just sleep,"

 

"Aye aye captain," Ana gave a salute and fell into the bed across from yours

 

You found it odd that Sasha was flustered but you couldn't  _feel_ her panic, you brushed it off you just being sleepy. 

 

* * *

 

You found out that Sasha was from Kansas and was almost in all the same classes as you. You were glad that you found a friend so quickly because Sasha was a very happy-go-lucky kind of girl with all smiles and excitement. 

 

The only thing you found odd was that her emotions could be anything but she would always only project a calmness in her attitude. That's what you had observed over the weekend. 

 

* * *

 

"Good morning, everyone," Brock smiled to the people in the auditorium, glancing your way for a second longer, "I'm Mr Rumlow, I'll be your guidance counsellor for the summers. I've got an open door policy, come by whenever you wish,"

 

"Oh, isn't he a treat to look at," Sasha giggled in your ear and you smirked

 

"Ladies, can I help you?" Brock looked at you two and you shook your head 

 

"No, sir," You almost whispered and slid deeper into your seat 

 

"Anyway, like I said, open door policy," He repeated himself, "You'll just be getting acquainted with the campus today, so, feel free to look around," 

 

Everyone nodded and he handed out the different curriculums. Day one was just about getting to know the teachers and understanding the courses. 

 

"Ms Y/L/N," He called out, "We can start early if you want or you can come back after an hour?" 

 

"I'll wait for you outside," Sasha offered weakly 

 

"It's okay," You looked at her, "I'll meet you in the cafe at 11 am," You told her and she nodded

 

Brock jerked his head so you'd follow him. You could feel something radiating from him but you couldn't really place it. 

 

 _Power? Confidence?_  You asked yourself but you didn't know

 

Brock led your down the corridor and into a room. It had a desk, various chairs and shelves and sofa. It looked like a room for a psychologist, not a counsellor. 

 

"Have a seat," He said softly and you sat down across the oak desk, "So, tell me about yourself,"

 

"Shouldn't you already know?" You chuckled and then gasped, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry,"

 

Brock had a slight smirk on his face, "It's alright. As long as you snark me in privacy," He laughed and walked around the desk to sit down as well

 

"This is just a starter meeting," He explained, "Your application showed that you were a gifted student and that's why your sessions with me are twice every week, whereas others have it once every two weeks,"

 

"Oh," You were surprised, to say the least, "I wouldn't say I'm that gifted," You swallowed

 

"Nonsense," He waved his hand, "We saw the tapes,"

 

"Tapes?" Your brows furrowed as you hadn't sent any tapes

 

"Yes," He nodded, "It was a late entry and your application had been received a week earlier, but the tapes made all the difference. I believe an Amanda sent them,"

 

 _Amanda?_  You thought and your eyes widened, she must've filmed you during your practices and sent it on your behalf. You made a mental note to thank her later. 

 

"Trust me, they made a massive part in your acceptance," He said and you nodded

 

"Well, I'm just glad to be here," You repeated yourself

 

Brock got up and faced one of the shelves, he moved a few books before turning to you

 

* * *

 

"Sir, we've lost audio in Agent Rumlow's room," A man suddenly spoke

 

"Fix it," Pierce barked

 

* * *

 

"Y/N," Brock said softly as he leaned against the tabled in front of you

 

That's when you finally noticed him. His tight jeans and his loose shirt buttons and they way his sleeves hugged his biceps. Your eyes swept over him and a breathy chuckle escaped his lips as he  _felt_  your interest. 

 

"If you want to talk about  _anything_ ," He leaned closer and you could almost feel his warmth on your skin, "Feel free to drop by any time," 

 

"Ye- sure, I, uhh, yeah," You nodded, "Thank you, Mr Rumlow,"

 

"You can call me Brock when it's just us," He winked with a smile and you felt lightheaded

 

"I'll see you later," You mumbled and left the room quickly 

 

* * *

 

"Audio is back, sir," A man told Pierce

 

"Why did we lose it in the first place?" Pierce asked venomously 

 

"Must've been a bug, sir," The man said weakly

 

* * *

 

Brock's eyes had swept all over you as you practically ran out of his room. 

 

 _No way Winter's getting his hands on that tight ass before me_ , He smirked to himself as he got back to work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, was brock necessary? maybe, maybe not  
> is he gonna play a part in your demise? fuck yes  
> will winter save you? you bet your sweet ass he will 
> 
> also, frank grillo must've been in his 30s during 1996, so, like, roll with it?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this update took a while but idk, just too much going on and i only got 24 hours   
> i need a 30 hour day at least!

"What did Mr Rumlow want?" Sasha asked as soon as she met with you in the cafe

 

"Just wanted to make sure I was settling in alright," You lied, "How many sessions do you have with him?

 

"Two every month," She told you, "Why? How many you got?"

 

"Two every week," You groaned

 

"Wait, are you in the advanced courses?" She suddenly gushed

 

"I thought that we were in the same type of courses," You asked slowly

 

"Yeah, but like," She began, "Like, we'll be in the same classes but we won't be doing, like, the same things,"

 

"What do you mean?" You narrowed your gaze

 

"Okay, so," She took a breath, "Like, piano classes. Right?" You nodded, "Okay, so, like, we'd be in the same room but, like, we'd be working on different pieces. And all advanced students have two sessions per week with Mr Rumlow," 

 

"How many advanced students are there?" You looked around the cafeteria

 

"Apart from you?" She laughed, "Beats me! Who gives a shit anyway," 

 

* * *

 

"Why did the audio go out in your room?" Pierce called Rumlow

 

"I wasn't aware that it did, sir," Rumlow lied with ease

 

"How did the first session go?" Pierce asked instead of questioning his motives further

 

"Decent enough," Brock stated, "I'll be seeing her every Monday and Friday,"

 

"Very well," Pierce acknowledged and hung up

 

* * *

 

Classes began and it was a different world altogether. The first week was mostly a blur. You wrote to Logan twice, telling him everything that was happening, along with mentioning Brock as your counsellor. 

 

"So, what made you come to this city?" Sasha asked lazily one night

 

"My roommate showed me the programme," You explained, "I couldn't resist,"

 

"But, like," She began, "You were already studying music, right?" You hummed in agreement, "Then why take a summer course?"

 

"Well, the teachers here," You pointed out, "They're from all corners of the world,"

 

"True," Sasha nodded

 

"And I just figured that the change of scene would be nice," You told a half-truth, "It's colder here," 

 

Sasha laughed, "Oh my god, yes! Like, Kansas gets pretty hot in the summers,"

 

* * *

 

"Hey, kid," Logan spoke through the phone

 

It was Thursday night, so, not many people were at the club

 

"How you doin' old man?" You shot back

 

"Healthier than you, bub," He chuckled, "I got your letters," Logan commented, "Looks like you're getting along pretty good,"

 

"Yeah," You agreed,  "I guess I'm lucky like that. My roommate is a sweetheart too,"

 

"Sasha, right?" He remembered and you hummed in agreement

 

"Is Remy around?" You asked hopefully 

 

"Yeah, he's right here," Logan stated and the line went silent 

 

"Bonjour mon amour," Remy's voice came through and your heart almost  _fluttered_

You'd missed him terribly but he was missing you far more and that's why he hadn't spoken to you in two weeks. Until now, that is.

 

"Ah, my favourite man," You giggled

 

"You mustn't speak to Gambit like that, mon cher," Remy stated, "Gambit could fall in love," 

 

You laughed loudly and even Remy chuckled through the phone

 

"Oh, we both know that you're the heartbreaker, LeBeau," You pointed out, "Everyone falls in love with that charm," 

 

"Mon amour, you break Gambit's heart," He said playfully 

 

You spoke for a while and you told him multiple times that you missed him. When you hung up, there was a gnawing feeling at the back of your head that felt almost like  _sadness_ and  _regret_. You just couldn't place it, however. 

 

* * *

 

Pierce read your letters and noticed the fact that you trusted Logan and Remy with everything. You had written down every single detail of your stay and travels, expect one thing: Winter. 

 

When he spoke to Amanda, she further solidified his strong suspicions. You had never told Logan and Remy about Winter. However, he couldn't understand the  _why_  of it. You'd told them everything else, so, he couldn't figure out why you hid  _this_ from them.

 

For his grand scheme of things, it was perhaps better that you hadn't told Logan about Winter. Weapon X had lost his memory but no one could say for sure as to how much he did retain. Even if there was a sliver of a chance that he would remember Winter from the war, well, that would be an issue for the whole Programme. 

 

* * *

 

 

It was Friday morning when you called Amanda

 

"Yellow," Amanda's voice came through

 

"Hey, it's Y/N," You began

 

"Babygirl!" She squealed, "How's it coming along?" 

 

"It's pretty basic right now," You stated, "But it'll get harder as it goes on," 

 

"Any eye candy?" She asked, "Did you meet loverboy? Oh, did you find someone  _else_?"

 

"Well, honestly," You bit the inside of your cheek, "The counsellor isn't that bad to look at," 

 

"Oh, someone's coming into their sluttiness!" She laughed and you blushed

 

"God, Amanda," You groaned, "Anyway, I'm calling to thank you," 

 

"Whatever for babygirl?" She sounded confused

 

"For sending tapes of me practising," You reminded her, "The counsellor said that they were the deciding factor for me being accepted here,"

 

Amanda didn't answer right away and you waited for a second, "You there?" You spoke into the phone 

 

"Sweetie, they would've been crazy to reject you!" She encouraged you, "But in any case, it's no problem! My question is, what about  _loverboy_?"

 

"I don't know," You sighed, "It's a big city," 

 

"You'll find him," She stated with ease, "Ass like yours? He'd be crazy to miss out on you!"

 

You spoke for a little while longer and then hung up. As you made your way back up to your room, you remembered your session with Mr Rumlow. Your stomach twisted and you couldn't understand it. The only feelings you'd gotten from him was the _utmost calm_ , much like Sasha. 

 

You'd been at the Institute for two weeks and you were to see Rumlow for the fourth time. As far as you had come to know, there were only two other advanced students in the programme. One was in Audio Tech and the other was in Vocal Projection. You were the only one in instrumental side of the programme. Before you knew it, you were standing at Rumlow's office door. 

 

You knocked softly and a voice came from the other side, allowing you to enter. 

 

"Morning," You said sheepishly and Rumlow gestured for you to sit down in the chair before him as he flicked through pages of a book

 

Brock was oddly quiet and he hadn't looked up to meet your gaze. You tried to read him but came up blank. He shut the book with a loud sound that startled you

 

"Right," His voice boomed and you swallowed, "How was the week?" He asked with a smile

 

"Umm, it was- okay. Nothing much," You nodded

 

"You seem distracted," He pointed out and your heart dropped

 

Your mind was still on Winter and you were lost in thought, "No, just haven't been sleeping well," You lied, "Guess I miss home," 

 

"As I understand your  _home_  was Hawaii," Brock pointed out and you shrugged

 

"It was where I grew up but New Orleans," You ran your hands through your hair, "New Orleans is home,"

 

"Why is that?" He sat down next to you, rather than across from you

 

"Friends," You smiled

 

"No family back home?" He asked and you shook your head

 

"Nope," You looked away as it was something you'd never talked about, "I grew up in the system. My parents died when I was young,"

 

"I see," He nodded, "Well, today, I want to try something different," 

 

"Like?" You perked up

 

"I'll play music and you have to identify what the notes make you feel," He explained and you nodded

 

The next hour was spent with your eyes closed and music flowing through your veins as you stated every emotion it made you feel. The music clouded your judgment of Rumlow's feelings and he felt every emotion that you described. The assessments were proving to HYDRA that you were getting increasingly powerful and the continuous changes of scenery were making your body stronger against the changes. 

 

* * *

 

"Tell me about yourself," Pierce sighed 

 

"My name's Winter Williams," Winter's voice was strained, "I grew up in Queens but my parents moved to Seattle when I was finishing high school. They died a few years ago," 

 

"What do you do know?" Pierce perked up as Winter didn't slip up and say that he was from Brooklyn

 

"I'm studying at the University of Washington, engineering and advanced physics," Winter stated with a vacant expression, "I live off campus," Pierce noticed Winter's body language relaxing, "Folks left plenty of money for me but I still work at the cafe," He waved his hand, "You know, keep myself busy and all," 

 

"What do you do when you're not working or studying?" Pierce leaned closer to Winter

 

"I go to the bar with Brock," Winter shrugged, "Sometimes I just stay in and write," 

 

"Girlfriends?" Pierce finally asked

 

"Nah," Winter's body was completely at ease as he fell into his newly given persona, "Can't go out with anyone,"

 

"Why not?" Pierce's smile was absolutely wicked 

 

"Got my eye on one dame," Winter smirked, "She's really  _somethin'_ ," He chuckled softly, "Y/N,"

 

"She called you a few weeks ago," Pierce told Winter and his eyes shined with hope

 

"Really?" Winter smiled softly, "What she say?" 

 

Pierce played the recording the Winter closed his eyes as if he was trying to imagine you actually saying the words. A soft smile made his lips curl as he listened to your voice. 

 

"Did I call her back?" Winter asked slowly and Pierce shook his head, "I should call her,"

 

 

* * *

 

"There's a call for you downstairs," A guy told you and you almost sprinted to the front desk 

 

 "Hello," You said happily as you'd been expecting a call from Logan but you were shell-shocked by the voice that came through

 

"Hey doll," Winter dragged out the words, "It's been a while,"

 

"How'd you know where to call?" You swallowed

 

"Amanda," Winter chuckled and you reminded yourself to call and thank her  _again_  

 

"Took you long enough to call me," You pointed 

 

"Oh come on, doll," He said softly, "I got caught up in  _stuff_ ," 

 

"And now?" You huffed

 

"Now, it's summer break," He told you, "I'm not taking any courses, so, if you want, I could spend three  _wonderful_  months in New Orleans," 

 

"That won't be necessary," You cleared your throat 

 

"Come on, sweetheart," Winter said with a new gentleness in his voice, "I promise to make it up to you," 

 

"No, I mean," You took a sharp inhale and let your inhibitions go, "I mean that I'm in Seattle," 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and from here on forth, it's about to get flufffyyy and eventually, smutty too :3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff fluff flufffffffff

"Well, ain't that somethin'," Winter laughed, "Don't tell me you stayin' at some sorry ass dorm,"

 

"I actually am," You chuckled, "I'm here until August,"

 

"Any way I can get you to stay longer?" His voice suddenly became enticing 

 

"I... Uh- I mean- I-," You stuttered as you tried to string together a sentence

 

"How about I take you out for a real proper date, doll?" Winter spoke, "Then you can decide if you want to stay or go back home," 

 

"I'd like that," You swallowed

 

You and Winter spoke as he helped you decide what you could do for your first  _official_  date. He told you about a variety of cafés in the city, things to do, places to see but in the end, you just explained that you didn't want something fancy or extravagant, rather, a simple dinner date would be just fine too. 

 

"In that case," He said softly, "I know the perfect place," 

 

* * *

 

"What's got you smilin'?" Sasha commented as you entered your dorm

 

"I think I have a date," You whispered

 

"Oh my god!" She squealed, "Who is it? Is it someone from the programme?"

 

"No," You shook your head, "It's... someone I met back home but he lives here,"

 

"Shut up!" She gasped, "Shut up, shut up, shut up! Did you come to this city for a boy?" 

 

"Uh..." You were at a loss for words

 

 _Did I come here for him? Or was the programme really just that good?_  Your mind relayed a list of questions and you couldn't answer any of them

 

"Oh, this is  _just_  like Sleepless in Seattle!" Sasha was mostly talking to herself, "I can just  _picture_ it!"

 

"You know nothing about him," You laughed

 

"And you do?" She smirked and you blushed

 

"I know some..." Your voice trailed off 

 

"Well, what's his name?" Sasha asked instead

 

"Winter," You almost whisper as a ghostly smile appeared on your face

 

"Like the season?" She cocked a brow and you nodded

 

"Somethin' like that," You turned away, "Anyway! I'm supposed to see him tomorrow and I haven't gone on a date since Prom Night in high school," You began to raid your little closet, "Actually, I doubt it even counts, he ditched me halfway through,"

 

"No boyfriends back home?" Sasha joined your side

 

"Never had the time," You sighed, "And I have really protective..." You paused to think about the relationship you had with Remy and Logan, "Family," 

 

"Family?" She repeated 

 

"Yeah, a cousin and an uncle," You lied but it wasn't really a lie, honestly 

 

* * *

 

"She has family?" Pierce barked around the room as your conversation echoed with Sasha in a surveillance room

 

"She said she grew up in the system," Brock explained

 

"Then who the fuck is the cousin and uncle!" Pierce shouted because he couldn't have anyone following you

 

* * *

 

"What's their name?" Sasha asked as she recalled that your files didn't say you had any relatives alive

 

"Oh, my cousin's Remy and uncle is Logan," You shrugged 

 

"You call your uncle by his name?" She laughed

 

"He's a pretty fuckin' cool uncle," You winked and she giggled

 

* * *

 

"She appears to be closer to those mutants than we believed," Pierce assessed, "Tell Amanda that she's being put back into the college field and she's to  _handle_  the red-eyed mutant,"

 

"Yes, sir," A voice stated and everyone went back to work

 

* * *

 

You smoothed out [the dress](https://ysms.akamaized.net/Assets/GalleryImage/91/930/L_g0064993091.jpg) that Sasha had given you for your date. It was a little rustic café a few blocks away from you. The walls were made of stone and vines draped over the fences. It had a very vintage vibe to it as you entered. The lighting was soft orange and faux candles were everywhere. 

 

"Hello, do you have a reservation?" The maître d' asked you with a smile as he took your coat 

 

"I'm not sure," You frowned, "I'm supposed to meet Winter?" 

 

"Oh!" The maître d' suddenly had a very different attitude, "We've got a special table for you on the balcony. Right this way," He gestured for you to follow him

 

The [balcony was stunning](http://ruggedthuglife.com/files/2013/10/9359111699138970.jpg), to say the least. A small table sat in the centre and thick vines and leaves gave the balcony plenty of privacy. 

 

"This is beautiful," You gasped

 

"It's for our very special guests only," The maître d' smiled and you couldn't help but be filled with warmth

 

The maître d' pulled out your chair and helped you in.

 

"Mr Williams is running a litter late but he should be here shortly," He explained, "May I offer you some wine while you wait?"

 

"I'd rather not be drunk by the time he gets here," You laughed

 

"Very well," He nodded, "I'll send over some juice choices from our selection of seasonal fruits," 

 

"Thank you very much," You said politely and he left you on the balcony 

 

The weather was pleasant and you were definitely mesmerized by the ambience. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves as you looked around because the place was breathtaking, indeed. 

 

"You look beautiful," A voice snapped you out of your trance as you turned to see Winter in a navy blue button-down shirt and beige pants with a glove on his left hand. You made a mental note to ask him about that some time. His hair was tied in a messy bun with a few stray hair framing his face. 

 

You two had somehow matched colourwise but you weren't complaining. A grin turned into a full smile as your eyes met Winter's. 

 

"Not so bad yourself," You said coyly as you began to stand up

 

"No, no," He hurried over to you and stopped you from getting up, "I'm really sorry for being late. It's... it's not really like me to do that," 

 

"What held you up?" You cocked a brow as you asked him playfully with your chin resting on the back of your hand which was propped on your elbow

 

"If you like me enough to take this date a little longer," He leaned closer, "I'd love to show you," 

 

Your cheeks burned as you blushed under his gaze. Winter's eyes were so piercing that it could render anyone breathless and that fanned your insecurities.  _Why me?_  You couldn't help but ask yourself

 

The maître d' came with juices and Winter ordered for the both of you. You were pleasantly surprised that he had ordered according to your preferences that you had mentioned months ago to him when you first met. He smiled at you and you shied away from his eyes. 

 

"So, where are you staying?" Winter made conversation as you waited for the food

 

You told him about the music programme and the dorms in which you were staying. Winter listened quietly throughout, nodding and humming at all the right moments and never once interrupting you. He told you about his college and majors. You were surprised that such a handsome person was so smart as well. The appetizers arrived. 

 

"Oh, wait," He suddenly changed the subject, "Do you know a Brock Rumlow? He's in the same programme as you," 

 

"He's my guidance counsellor," You nodded and Winter laughed loudly 

 

It was a melodic sound as his eyes crinkled with joy

 

"That fuckin' punk is the guidance counsellor?" He laughed again and drank some wine so he wouldn't choke

 

"Uh... Yes?" You stated unsurely

 

"Doll," He smirked, "He's a world of trouble," 

 

"He seems nice enough," You frowned, "How do you know him?"

 

"He's my drinking buddy," Winter stated and your eyes went wide

 

"Mr Rumlow...?" You whispered and he chuckled

 

"God, it's weird for me to hear someone call him that," He smiled 

 

"So, tell me about you," You asked as the dinner arrived 

 

Winter told you about his parents passing away and you nodded as you told him that your folks had met the same fate. The dinner arrived and you two spoke about the mundane things in life. 

 

"You know," He began, "This is my first summer that I'm not takin' up any courses," 

 

"What do you usually do?" You gave into curiosity 

 

"I take up a language course every summer," He shrugged, "Been doin' so since for a long time," 

 

"I admire your consistency," You laughed, " __My _cousin_ speaks French and I haven't gotten around to learning the language," 

 

"I could teach you," Winter winked and you blushed again

 

"You know French?" You cocked a brow

 

"It's the language of love, doll," He laughed, "How could I not?" 

 

You narrowed your gaze and he shook his head as the maître d' cleared the table

 

"You don't seem convinced," He smiled

 

"I just can't wrap my head around the fact that someone who  _looks_  like you can be  _that_  perfect," You blurted out and realized that maybe the last glass of wine had been a little too much 

 

Winter laughed melodically before holding your gaze and melting your heart, "Aucune langue ne sera jamais assez forte pour décrire comme tu es belle ce soir, ma princesse. Et je suis loin d'être parfait, ma chérie," The words poured from his lips and your heart drummed in your ears

 

You could only pick a few words, like, beautiful, princess and darling. You swallowed visibly and the maître d' reappeared.

 

"Would the lovely couple like dessert?" The maître d' asked Winter and the shook his head while holding your gaze

 

"Nah," Winter smiled as he finally tore away from your eyes, "I've got something else in mind for that,"

 

"Very well," The maître d' nodded, "It was wonderful to have you both here tonight and we hope to see you soon,"

 

"The bill?" You finally found your voice

 

"Don't worry, doll," Winter smirked 

 

"It's been taken care of, Ma'am," The maître d' smiled and left you two alone again

 

"Would you like to go on a drive with me?" Winter put his right hand forward as he stood up

 

"Is the city safe?" You couldn't help but ask

 

"Sweetheart," He pulled you up and suddenly you were standing a little too close to Winter, "You don't ever gotta worry when you're with me," 

 

Your knees were getting weak and he just smelled so good...

 

 _Wait, what?_  You scolded yourself

 

Not trusting your voice to say anything, you just nodded and he led you down the stairs, with his right arm never leaving the small of your back. Winter helped you on with your coat and he pulled on a jacket as well.

 

"The valet will be bringing the car around, Mr Williams," The maître d' told him and he nodded

 

"Do you come here often?" You made idle talk as you waited for the car

 

"Uhh," He scratched his brow, "Kinda,"

 

"Kinda?" You cocked a brow

 

"I come here five days a week," He shrugged and you became confused, "I work here, doll," 

 

A sleek black convertible stopped in front of you and Winter opened the door. You slipped into the sports car and were even more confused. 

 

 _How can he afford all this?_  You speculated,  _Maybe's he's on scholarship? Oh god, if he looks like that and is smart enough to get a scholarship, what the fuck is he doing with me?_

Winter's senses spiked as he felt anxiety course through his body. 

 

"You alright?" He looked over at you and you nodded

 

"Yeah, sorry," You cleared your throat as you reminded yourself to keep your emotions in check, "Just drifted away for a second. Where are we going?"

 

"We're going for dessert," He smiled as he increased the speed 

 

You should've been worried or at least more questioning of his intentions but his smile and his eyes,  _god, his eyes_ , it all just made you feel so comfortable. 

 

HYDRA had given him a persona but the man behind Winter was still the charismatic man that they had captured. He still had bright eyes that had seen far too much. His laugh was still own and despite HYDRA's training, his emotions were still felt by him.

 

You were getting waves of anticipation from Winter. It indicated that he was excited to show you whatever he wanted to show you. The food from the café was so amazing that you felt extremely zen and the seats were comfortable enough that you felt yourself dozing off in the long drive. 

 

Winter kept stealing glances as you throughout and he stopped at a clearing over a cliff. You didn't stir as the car halted so he got off quietly and set up everything outside. He placed a thick blanket on the back seat and from the trunk, he pulled out a cold box.

 

"Hey, sweetheart," He woke you slowly and you blinked a few times before his shining eyes came into focus, "We're here," 

 

You sat up and he drew back the top of the car to reveal the stunning night sky. You took in the scene and realized that Winter's face was close to yours. You leaned closer just a fraction and kissed his cheek.

 

"This is the best first date ever," You whispered and saw his ears turn red under the moonlight

 

"Oh, come on, doll," He rubbed the back of his neck, "We haven't even gotten to the best part yet," 

 

Winter helped you out of the car and pushed the front seat to make room so that you could slip into the back seat, where he had laid out the blanket. 

 

"So, what's the best part, Mr Williams?" You asked coyly

 

"Dessert," He stated as a matter of fact as he sat down next to you with his arm draped over your shoulder

 

"And what's for dessert?" You smiled

 

"Cookie dough," Winter said with a grin and your heart skipped a beat

 

"Oh, you're good," You laughed as you got comfortable next to him 

 

The night passed with you staring at the stars and talking through the hours. He told you all the constellations that you saw in the sky. The closeness made you notice that Winter neither smelled nor felt anything like the season he was named after. His smile radiated joy and his eyes shined like the sun.He smelled like the earth, his musk holding scents of apple and cinnamon along with something musky that you just couldn't place. 

 

When the sun began to rise, that's when you realized that you'd been out with him all night and it was the best decision of your life to do so. You two had drifted in and out of sleep through the night and when the offending rays of the sun hit your face, Winter offered to take you back to your dorms. He held your hand throughout the ride and it was  _serene_. 

 

"I'd like to see you again," Winter said softly as he gave a squeeze to your hand when he stopped near the dorms 

 

Your cheeks were burning and the car was full of a feeling of heartfelt emotions. You nodded with a smile.

 

"I'll see you," You spoke quickly and Winter chuckled, which prompted you to look at him

 

"I really wanna kiss you, doll," He sighed as he leaned closer and you smirked

 

"You really shouldn't," You whispered and you felt his breath on your lips

 

"Why's that?" He asked slowly and you eyes flicked between his eyes and lips

 

"I don't think I'd be able to stop," You scrunched up your nose playfully and before Winter had a chance to answer, you slipped out of the car

 

Winter's eyes followed you as you practically  _skipped_  towards the dorms. Another thing caught his eyes, Rumlow; he was looking at Winter and you from his office window and he didn't look pleased. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohky but  
> did you love the dress and the date or did you LOVE the dress and the date???
> 
>  
> 
> and i'm not providing the french translations yet because the reader doesn't know french yet! when the reader learns, then i'll start putting in the meanings too!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy  
> this chapter took a little while longer because i got the worst flu of my life and i was in bed for a few days and had to rest extra because i was supposed to travel for work as welll  
> and now they're telling me that they need an xray of my head because fuck my life, something might be off???
> 
> anyway, ENJOY!!!

You entered your room and it was still very early. Sasha was sleeping, so you tried to tiptoe into the room, however, the creaking door gave you away and your roommate was suddenly sitting up straight with a kitchen knife drawn.

 

"Holy fuck, you scared me!" Sasha gasped but you still just felt her  _calmness_

"Why do you have a fucking knife?" You squealed as your back hit the door, which slammed shut

 

"My mom's boyfriends weren't  _nice_ people," She grimaced, "I've slept with a knife since I was 9," Sasha dropped the knife beneath her pillow again and ran her fingers through her hair

 

"Remind to never wake you up," You pinched the bridge of your nose as you slipped off your shoes

 

"Hold on," She swung her legs off the bed, "Did you  _just_  get in?" You nodded slowly

 

"Walk of shame!" Sasha laughed and your face went red

 

"We didn't have sex," You groaned and she cocked a brow, "Don't look at me like that. We didn't do anything  _sexual_ ," 

 

"You're telling me, like," She stood up, "That, Little Miss Goody Two Shoes, stayed out  _all_ night," She twirled for emphasis, "And did  _nothing_?" 

 

"We... cuddled?" You offered and Sasha burst out laughing again

 

You felt a smile tugging at your lips as well. Sasha helped you out of your dress and you got comfortable in bed. 

 

"You're lucky we don't have classes today," She joked before letting you fall asleep whereas a thought entered your mind

 

 _I wish I could hold an illusion long enough so that I didn't have to do my class work,_ You thought to yourself blissfully as you figured it wouldn't hurt to check but quickly scolded yourself for even thinking of slacking off in the classes

 

* * *

 

"So, how was your weekend?" Rumlow had a polite smile but you were very aware of his emotions and it made you uncomfortable

 

"It was good," You told him, "Nothing major but pretty cool,"

 

"Did you do anything?" He pressed on and you frowned

 

"Nope," You said with a click and that's when it hit you

 

 _Jealousy_. That's what Rumlow was feeling. 

 

"How was your weekend?" You decided to take attention away from yourself

 

"Nothin' special," He shrugged, "Went to the bar with a few friends on Saturday. One of them ditched us," Rumlow chuckled, "Said he had a _date_ ,"

 

"I see," You swallowed because you knew he was talking about Winter 

 

"How are classes coming along?" He asked and you made a face of indifference

 

"They're alright," You avoided his gaze

 

"Good," He nodded, "We wouldn't want you to be  _distracted_ from your future,"

 

You nodded with a tight smile, trying to understand the coldness of Mr Rumlow but nothing seemed to make sense.

 

 _Why would he be jealous?_ You chanted to yourself but no answer came

 

The rest of the session passed by agonizingly slow as Rumlow tried to ask in different ways about your weekend but with sheer stubbornness, you didn't slip up a single word about Winter. 

 

* * *

 

"It's interesting," Pierce commented

 

"What is?" Winter sighed as he sat comfortably on his bed 

 

Pierce had decided to let the persona take over Winter completely. That meant him living in an apartment and living the life that he truly believed that he had. Winter saw Pierce as his father's oldest friend and mentor, who just somehow knew everything. Winter's programming never made him question things that Pierce did when they didn't fit into the grand scheme of things. His programming made him accept Pierce as all knowing and all seeing.

 

"Y/N doesn't like talking about you," Pierce stated with a fake sadness 

 

"What'd'ya mean?" Winter was suddenly sitting up straight

 

"She doesn't talk about you," Pierce shrugged, "Brock asked her about her weekend and she said  _nothing_ ," 

 

"You're lying," Winter growled as his voice dropped to a whisper

 

"Not at all," Pierce gasped, "I'll show you," 

 

Pierce played a clip from the session you had with Rumlow as Winter listened in complete silence. A wave of worry and concern washed over Winter. His thoughts consumed with questions of  _why_. Why hadn't you told Rumlow about your date? Why didn't you want to talk about him? Had he done something to upset you? 

 

"It was just one date," Winter swallowed his sadness, "We ain't official or any of that bullshit," 

 

"True," Pierce frowned, "But then," He stood up, "Makes you think..."

 

* * *

 

You had a free afternoon on Wednesday because the professor had fallen ill. Sasha and you were in the lawns, soaking in the sun. 

 

"Hey, which one of you is Y/N Y/L/N," A girl approached you two

 

"Me," You frowned

 

"There's a package for you the desk," She told you, "The receptionist signed for it," 

 

"Oh, thank you," You stood up, "I'll be back," Sasha waved you off as she dozed off in the soft sunlight 

 

You walked back to campus and went to the reception. You told her your name and she gave you a stern look.

 

"Don't make a habit of getting these deliveries," She rolled her eyes as she put a small bouquet of blue flowers on her desk along with a little card

 

"Uh..." You stuttered, "Yes, Ma'am," You nodded as you gathered the flowers in your arms and looked at the card

 

**_When will I see you again?_ **

**_W.W._ **

****

"Holy shit," You whispered to yourself as you walked back to Sasha

 

"What you got there, girlie?" Sasha opened one eye 

 

"Forget-Me-Nots," You told her as you sat down on the grass again

 

"And you're tellin' me that you didn't put out?" She laughed, "Like,  _honey_ ," 

 

"I'm telling you!" You groaned, "Nothing happened,"

 

"The flowers don't seem like nothing," She sang the words as she lied back down on the grass

 

You thought about calling Winter but then figured that you could use a walk

 

"I'm going out for lunch," You stood up, "Wanna come?" 

 

"Sure," She shrugged

 

* * *

 

Half an hour later, you two were dressed in jeans and casual tees, headed for the café that Winter had met you in a few days ago. You remembered the food to be exquisite and you still wanted to see if Winter  _actually_  worked there or not. 

 

"Can we even afford this place?" Sasha whispered as you looped your arm around her's

 

"Don't worry about it," You told her, "How expensive could it be?" 

 

"Hello," The same maître d' from the other night greeted you, "I wasn't aware that you had reservations today," 

 

"Oh, we don't," You swallowed, "We just wanted to grab a quick lunch, could we be seated?"

 

The maître d' smiled and nodded, "Of course, right this way," 

 

He guided you and Sasha to a table in the corner and handed you the menus. It turned out that the place was indeed  _very_  expensive. 

 

 _Fuck_ , You thought to yourself,  _Well, maybe I'll just treat myself_

"You know what," Your eyes glossed over the menu, "It's on me," 

 

"Really?" Sasha smiled brightly but all you sensed was  _calm_  and it was really starting to bother you 

 

Now that you thought about it... Everyone seemed  _calm_  in the whole café as well and it was very weird. 

 

 _How could the whole place be so...calm?_  You looked around and saw two couples, a family and an elderly group of friends. 

 

"You okay?" Sasha's voice brought you back, "Zoned out there," She laughed and you nodded

 

"Yeah, sorry," You stated politely, "You look through the menu, I'll just be back," 

 

You went to the bathroom and paced along the empty stalls. 

 

 _What is going on?_  Your mind was almost numb,  _This hasn't happened before_

It was unnerving. The odd calmness. Even Sasha's calmness was beginning to get to you. She would project an array of emotions but she would always  _feel_  calm to you and it was truly starting to bother you. Suddenly, you didn't want to arouse suspicion by being in the loo for too long. 

 

Something was  _wrong_  but you just couldn't place it.

 

* * *

 

"Why's she pacing in the bathroom?" Pierce mused as he looked at the live feed of the café 

 

The café had been bought by HYDRA and everyone there was an agent. Hence, the calmness. 

 

"Inconclusive," A voice answered and Pierce frowned

 

"Where's Winter?" Pierce sighed as you stared in the mirror 

 

"Kitchens," Someone told him

 

"Send him over to take Agent 23's order," Pierce stated, referring to Sasha

 

* * *

 

You took a deep breath and looked at your reflection. You walked out of the bathroom and a singular different emotion hit you. You saw Winter laughing as Sasha rolled her bottom lip between her teeth and twirl her a strand of her hair around her index finger. You frowned but straightened up as you walked back to the table.

 

"Hey stranger," You smiled and Winter turned to see you

 

You were engulfed with a feel pure  _happiness_  as his eyes met yours

 

"Y/N!" Winter said brightly, "What're you doin' here?" 

 

"I got the flowers," You pushed the words out as he was just...  _Was he this handsome the other night?_  You were seemingly lost in thought

 

Sasha cleared her throat loudly and you jumped

 

"Right, sorry," You gasped, "Winter, this is Sasha, my roommate,"

 

"Nice to meet you," He said softly and Sasha smiled but there was an underlying frown which you almost  _felt_ , "Hey, order whatever you like. It'll be taken care of,"

 

"I don't know about you girlie," Sasha laughed, "But I'm not turning down free food," Her eyes went back to the menu 

 

"Can I talk to you?" Winter whispered and you nodded, "I'll just borrow your friend for a sec," 

 

"I wouldn't mind if you took her home," Sasha winked and your cheeks burned as a blush crept under your skin

 

"Y/N," Winter gestured and you followed him to a corner

 

* * *

 

"Keep an eye on them," Pierce stated and the feed cut to you and Winter in a corridor, "Audio," 

 

* * *

 

"You didn't have to get the lunch paid for," You ranted, "It was really alright, it's not  _that_  expensive. Like, okay, it is but it's not unaffordable," 

 

"It's really nice to see you, doll," He told you sweetly as his gloved hand rested on the wall against which you were leaning and you lost your voice

 

"I- yeah- I-," You cleared your throat, "Same," 

 

Winter chuckled softly and you swallowed

 

"I hope you liked the flowers," His voice was so smooth that all your focus was on keeping your emotions in check but it failed when you nose filled with his musk and you took in a deep breath

 

The next thing you knew was that Winter was pressed against you as he kissed you passionately. You knew it was your fault, you projected your  _want_  of him onto him but you weren't exactly complaining. Winter tasted minty and his tongue was surprisingly cool. Your arms looped around his neck as he deepened the kiss and his right arm wrapped around your waist. The left hand, however, never left the wall. 

 

You suddenly reminded yourself that you're in a public place and pulled away.

 

"Sorry," Winter whispered, "I don't know what..."

 

"It's okay," You smiled as you looked away from his piercing gaze, "Sasha's probably waiting for me," 

 

"Yeah," He nodded, "And I'm supposed to be workin',"

 

"About that," You remembered, "You work here?" 

 

"It ain't Halloween, sweetheart," He laughed as he pointed to his uniform

 

"No, I mean," You cleared your thoughts, "You don't match the job?" 

 

"Just keeps me a li'l busy," He winked and your eyes fell to the ground again, "Come on, let's get you back," 

 

Winter's thumb brushed your lower lip as he cleaned the smudged lip colour and guided your back to your table. 

 

"Hello lovebirds," Sasha said happily, "I ordered for both of us!"

 

"Thanks," You smiled as you sat down

 

Winter kept stealing looks as he brought you two lunch. The accidental touches lit your skin on fire. You were shocked as to how people weren't affected by you. 

 

* * *

 

The afternoon had gone wonderfully and as you'd left, Winter had asked you for another date on Saturday night. This time, however, he was going to pick you from the dorms. You were a bit unsure about it but his smile and confidence made you forget all your worries. When you and Sasha had come back, there was another package waiting for you.

 

"Well, aren't you a popular one," The receptionist had commented 

 

You'd just mumbled a thank you and taken the box up to your room while Sasha had laughed at your situation; pointing out how the receptionist was beginning to not like you very much. 

 

"Another gift from _loverboy_?" Sasha quipped and you chuckled

 

"That's what my previous roommate used to call him," You told her as you opened the small box

 

**_Make memories, mon amour_ **

**_Le vôtre pour toujours, Gambit_ **

****

**_PS: Logan sends love too_ **

You laughed as you read the card twice and put it in a drawer. Inside the box was a Polaroid camera. 

 

"Oh my," You breathed as you looked at the little device

 

There was a smaller package inside which had almost five hundred films, which meant, almost five hundred pictures

 

"You got some family, girlie," Sasha chuckled as she left the room, saying something about going to the library and you stared at the camera in your lap 

 

You quickly read the instructions and placed some of the films inside. You first took a picture of the room, just to test it out. You shook the film dry and then another thought clicked in your head. You bit the inside of your cheek as you locked the room and took a deep breath as you closed your eyes. 

 

When you opened them, the whole room was full of brightly coloured blue butterflies fluttering around. The room's picture slipped from your hand and landed on the floor as you looked around. It made you happy as they flapped their paper-thin wings, landing everywhere. You held out your hand and one landed on your index finger. 

 

"Let's see if this works," You whispered and you took another picture

 

A moment after the flash went off, you let the illusion fade and the room was no longer full of the blue butterflies. You shook the film and your heart stopped when you saw it.

 

"Holy fuck," You gasped as you sat down and stared at the [picture](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/2f/66/75/2f66755d6af09a70b17860bfa2fab337.jpg).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i try to keep my readers really really nuteral, that's why i never mention hair texture or skin colour or even body type, or like, i'm super vague about a lot of things so that no matter who you are or what you look like, you feel comfy in the story, with that being said, if the skin colour or the hand size isn't the same as the picture which was shared in the end bit, well, please please understand that it was the only picture i could find which could explain the situtation at hand and the picture which did justice to the scene i had in mind  
> so, i'm really sorry if you didn't like the choice of the hand in the picture
> 
> ALSO  
> if there's any confusion - the time right now is mid-June in 1996


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeeyyy updates! i hope you guys are doing well  
> quick question - i'm thinkin' about doing a draco/reader fic for my 50th fic because HP is legit my first fandom everrrrrr or maybe a lucifer/reader fic because SPN is lifeee  
> so like, let me know if you'd be into that or nah?

"Agent 23 on line 5, sir," An intercom echoed through Pierce's bedroom

 

He groaned awake and looked at the blinking red light on his landline. It was early Friday morning so he couldn't understand why Sasha was calling him.

 

"What?" He spoke harshly

 

"Sir," Sasha began, "Target got ready and left around 6:30," 

 

"So?" Pierce countered

 

"It's highly unusual, sir," She explained, "Y/N doesn't wake up this early and she's never this quiet before leaving as well," 

 

* * *

 

It had been two days since the picture and you'd been on edge. You hid it inside your closet, under a ton of other things. You thought about calling Logan but you didn't want to talk about those things in front of the receptionist and if you used any pay phone on campus, well, there was a high chance that someone might hear you. 

 

You walked for almost seven blocks before you found a deserted pay phone with nothing around and no one close to it. You entered the pay phone and popped a few quarters in it.

 

It didn't take long for HYDRA to look through all CCTV cameras on your path, all the way until you locked yourself inside the phone booth. 

 

* * *

 

"Do we have audio for that phone or not?" Pierce was almost shouting now

 

"We're on it, sir!" Someone tried to calm him down

 

* * *

 

"Better be a good reason to call at this hour," Logan stated as he picked a bar phone

 

"Oh thank god you're there," You gasped, "Logan, something's happened," 

 

"Bub? You alright?" His voice was suddenly very attentive, "What happened?"

 

"My illusions," You swallowed, "I took a picture and they showed up in it," 

 

"Your  _illusions_? You can project that strongly, kid?" Logan asked slowly, "Wait, don't talk here, this ain't a safe line," 

 

"I'm seven blocks away from the dorms," You explained, "I don't see anyone and it's 7 in the morning," You spoke hurriedly, "Wait, what are you doin' at the bar?"

 

"Remy's been roped into your roommate's love web," He sighed, "He hasn't been payin' much attention to stuff here, so I gotta look after shit," 

 

"But he sent me the camera?" You were confused

 

"When did you get it?" He asked and you told him, "Bub, he's not been all here. He was supposed to send that to you right after you got there," 

 

"Logan," You breathed, "What's going on between Remy and Amanda?"

 

"I don't know, kid," He sighed, "She came to the club a while back and they've been joined at the hip since,"

 

"Amanda didn't even like Remy!" You almost shouted

 

"I know, bub," He took a deep breath, "But I ain't gonna be at the wrong end of his deck," 

 

"Listen," You began, "I wanted to talk to you because there's something else going on," 

 

"What's goin' on, Y/N?" Logan's voice grew stern 

 

* * *

 

"Sir, we have audio," A voice shouted

 

"Put it on!" Pierce barked

 

"I met someone," Your voice echoed, "A guy,"

 

* * *

 

"A guy?" Logan repeated

 

"Yeah, he's really sweet and kind and he's very respectful," You ranted

 

"You've known him for what? Two weeks, kid?" He reasoned and you swallowed

 

"Well," You cleared your throat, "I met him back home but it turns out that he lives here, so I've known him for a while," You told a half-truth, "Anyway, there's another thing too," 

 

"What else?" He groaned, "If you tell me that you're running away, I will come down there and drag you back by the ear," 

 

"No!" You quipped, "No, no, don't worry about that. Plus, if I was running away, I wouldn't tell you," You tried to lighten the mood but clearly, Logan was having none of it, "Anyway, I'll try to mail you the pictures so you can what I'm talking about,"

 

"You sure you can send them?" He asked, "They don't look suspicious?"

 

"No, no," You assured him, "They're just some stuff in odd places but nothing that would seem different. I'll send them over and then we'll see if you can figure out what's what!"

 

"Seems like a game, kid," Logan chuckled and you hummed in agreement 

 

"So, anyway! Remember how I had started to feel emotions?" You began again, "Well, there's a weird thing happening. It's my roommate, Sasha,"

 

"Explain," He stated plainly

 

* * *

 

"Cut it," Pierce seethed

 

"Sir?" Someone asked

 

"Cut the fucking call!" Pierce screamed

 

"Like, she could be laughing or scared or sad, or  _anything_  but I always only feel calmness from her," You explained quickly and your voice echoed in the small room where Pierce was, "So, yeah, I don't know," You sighed, "I could just be over thinking it, I don't know" You waited but you were met with silence

 

"Hello?" You spoke, "Logan? You there?" You banged the phone box but nothing happened, "Fuck," You shouted with frustration and placed the phone back 

 

A deafening silence rang through HYDRA's office as everyone took in the new revelation about your abilities. 

 

"She's an empath," Pierce whispered to himself as thoughts raced in his head about how you feeling Sasha's calmness could've become the trigger for you finding out everything that HYDRA had built around you 

 

"Send the audio tapes to my office," Pierce stated loudly, "Tell Agent 23 to meet me within the hour. Dismissed," He said sternly and left the room 

 

* * *

 

You stepped out of the phone booth and took a deep breath as you wrapped the jacket tighter around your body. It was a little after 7 am and it was unsurprisingly, still chilly. As you made your way back to the dorms, you decided to walk by the café, just in case Winter was there. He seemed to be the only person in the city that you could feel different things from. Much to your dismay, the café was closed that early in the morning, so you headed on towards the dorms. 

 

* * *

 

"You've been  _too_  calm," Pierce stated with an icy glare

 

"Sir?"ٍ Sasha's brows furrowed

 

"Did you know that Y/N could  _feel_  emotions too?" He asked, "Not just project them but also feel the ones projected around her?"

 

"No, sir," She swallowed and an uneasy silence fell

 

Pierce gave a breathy chuckled and smiled but his smile didn't reach his eyes. They remained cold and that made Sasha's stomach twist. 

 

"Well, she can," He stood from his desk and walked around towards Sasha, "And she  _almost_ told Logan about how you're _always so calm that it's unnatural_ ," 

 

"Sir, my training," Sasha began, "I was taught to keep calm," 

 

"Your fucking _training_ was to blend into whatever the situation requires!" Pierce shouted and Sasha flinched, "Now, normally, I would take you out of the whole damn thing but since we need to give her the illusion of reality, you will **not fuck up again** ,"

 

"Yes sir," She nodded

 

"And find the photo," He said softly as he composed himself

 

"Photo?" She repeated and Pierce took a deep breath with annoyance

 

"She spoke to Logan about her projected illusion showing up on film," He explained, "Find the picture that isn't  _normal_ ," 

 

"Yes sir," Sasha nodded

 

"Dismissed," He sighed as he sat back in his chair

 

* * *

 

"How about we go for a walk?" Rumlow said with a smile when you entered his room for your eighth session 

 

"A walk?" You cocked a brow and he nodded

 

"Get some air," He shrugged, "It'll be good for you," 

 

You focused and realized that he was feeling  _affectionate_  so you nodded

 

"Sure," You returned his smile, "Let's go," 

 

* * *

 

"Target is out with Crossbones," Someone notified Sasha 

 

"Thanks," Sasha nodded, "Team Sweep has an hour," 

 

* * *

 

"You seem troubled," Brock sighed, "You know that I can't help you unless you're open with me," 

 

You couldn't really feel what Rumlow was feeling because being out made your senses a little overloaded with everyone's emotions and you couldn't pinpoint which one was Brock's

 

"It's nothing," You shied from his gaze, "I mean," You scratched your brow, it was beginning to come off as a nervous tic, "It's  _not_  nothing but it's nothing to worry about,"

 

"Try me," He nudged your shoulder softly and suddenly you felt warmth spreading through you 

 

"I met someone," You swallowed, "He's very nice and all, but I feel like I'm maybe moving too fast and there's something about my roommate that just seems  _off_ ," 

 

"Okay," Rumlow chuckled, "So, boy troubles and girl problems?" 

 

"Come on," You laughed, "I told you it's nothing," 

 

You and Brock were walking down the street and the casual setting of the session made you feel comfortable. You didn't feel like you were speaking to your counsellor but rather walking with a friend. 

 

"Alright, alright," Brock smiled brightly, "Tell me about your roommate," 

 

"Well," You looked up to the sky, "I don't know how to explain it!" You groaned, "I'm just..." You bit the inside of your cheek, "I feel like she's hiding something," 

 

"Everyone had secrets, you know," Rumlow pointed out

 

"Do you have secrets?" You cocked a brow

 

"And you don't?" He smirked and you giggled as a blush crept under your skin as you remembered your own secrets 

 

You looked at Rumlow and he cocked a brow. He was handsome and he was caring, more than needed by his job. You felt a smile tugging at your lips and you looked away.

 

"Everyone _does_ have secrets," You nodded, "But," You skipped a little with your hands shoved in your pockets, "But... No one has a true secret," 

 

"A true secret?" He repeated and you hummed in agreement

 

"A true secret is something that you keep to yourself," You explained, "But no one has a true secret because everyone tells their secrets to someone," 

 

"Nah," Brock shrugged and you looked at him with disbelief 

 

"Nah?" You chuckled melodically, "Just that? Nah?" 

 

"Yeah," He nodded and you roared with laughter 

 

"Care to tell me why?" You stood in front of him, making him stop in his tracks

 

The wind was blowing so your hair was a mess and Brock was smiling at you. Maybe it was the couple that had walked by or maybe it was Rumlow but you  _felt_  an affection that you hadn't known before. You rolled your bottom lip between your teeth as you tried to not smile and raised your brows so Brock would talk.

 

"Everyone's got **one** secret that they keep and tell  _no one_ ," He resigned

 

"I don't agree," You sang out the words and Brock laughed

 

It was probably the first time you'd heard him laugh properly. His eyes crinkled and the sound seemed to have rumbled from his chest. It was deep and smooth and just... endearing.

 

* * *

 

"Do you think this is it?" An agent asked Sasha 

 

She looked at the picture with the butterflies and identified that it was the dorm. Butterflies in such a quantity were definitely strange, especially when the polaroid below it, showed the room completely empty.

 

"This is it," Sasha confirmed 

 

* * *

 

"Just because you don't agree," Brock laughed, "Doesn't mean that's how it is," 

 

"Well," You began, "Okay, fine," You frowned as you started to walk with your head hanging

 

"What about the boy?" He nudged you

 

"Oh yeah," You cleared your throat, "He's a nice guy," You had a goofy smile on your face, "But how do I know if he likes me for  _me_  and doesn't just... you know?"

 

"Doesn't just want to fuck?" Rumlow completed your sentence and your face went red as you nodded shyly 

 

"It's a leap of faith," He explained with a soft smirk, "You get to know the person and all that jazz," He looked at you and you were listening with all your concentration, "But if something doesn't click, then don't care,"

 

"Don't care?" You almost gasped at the notion

 

"Yeah," Brock shrugged, "Like, if someone misuses your trust then it's their fault, not yours," 

 

"That makes sense," You mumbled 

 

"Tell you what," He offered, "You give me the guy's name and I find out if he's a nice guy or not,"

 

"I don't think you'll have to do that..." You swallowed as your eyes were glued to your feet taking steps on the concrete pavement 

 

"Why's that?" Rumlow pressed on

 

"Because he knows you," You mumbled 

 

"Wait, you're the girl Winter's seeing?" His voice was clearly full of surprise as you nodded, "Then you don't have to worry about his  _intentions_ , he's a nice guy,"

 

"Really?" You smiled and Brock assured you 

 

You two spoke about your love for music and how the classes were coming along. You felt much more comfortable with him out in the open and it also gave Brock a lot of leeway with his attitude with you because being outside meant less surveillance of HYDRA. 

 

Just as him and you were near the dorm building, he stopped you.

 

"Listen," He spoke in a hushed tone, "Winter's an amazing guy but he does have a bit of an anger issue," You eyes widened with worry, "Don't worry about it," Brock told you with a smile, "It's just a heads-up," 

 

You nodded numbly as you walked back to your room to get ready for the day. However, that one little thing was enough to plant a seed of doubt about Winter.

 

 _How bad could his anger be that Brock's telling me about it?_  You thought to yourself as you walked back to the building,  _Since when do I call him Brock? It's Mr Rumlow_ , You chastised yourself for being friendly with your guidance counsellor 

 

* * *

 

"There was a call for you," The front desk lady informed you, "From a Logan LeBeau?" 

 

You wanted to laugh but you just nodded as you took the message from the woman.

 

_The line went dead. Call me. I'm worried. Buy a cellular phone._

"Thanks," You said softly as you made the call to Logan 

 

The phone kept ringing and finally, a beep told you that you'd been directed to the answering machine.

 

"Hey, I'm fine," You spoke quickly, "I probably just ran out of quarters and I'll buy a phone next week. Love you two," You hung up and made your way to your dorm.

 

Everything in your room was just as you'd left it. HYDRA had taken multiple pictures of your polaroids, which ranged from pictures of flowers, Sasha, your dorm and butterflies in odd places amongst other things. 

 

You went through the motions as you went to your classes of Friday and then went to bed that night.

 

* * *

 

Pierce sat in his office as he poured over the new revelations that the day had brought him. Your empathy, your illusions and their power to actually be captured on film. He was getting far too excited for your turn to his side but he also didn't want to count his chickens before they even hatched. He was, however, very pleased with how everything was turning out, regardless of the few bumps.

 

You were going to be his crowning accomplishment, right next to the Winter Soldier Programme, he just  _knew_ it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DDUUNNN  
> pierce knoowwssss  
> you're in deep shit  
> rumlow is a twat but he's a sexy twat  
> sasha gon n done fuck it now  
> sorry but no winter this chapterrrr


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date 2!!!! Reader finds about Winter's Arm :O

"Your date's here," Sasha sang the words loudly 

 

"I'll be out in a sec!" You shouted back

 

You stared at yourself in the mirror. You were nervous because Winter had just said that the night was going to be a surprise. It was only the second date! _Or was it the fourth?_ Considering that you'd met him back home as well?  _Focus!!_  You scolded yourself

 

You stole another glance and bit the inside of your cheek. Something just seemed  _missing_  in your look. You closed your eyes and focused on your neck. A silver chain with a butterfly on it appeared, the pendant resting right between your collarbones. 

 

_Let's see how long you last_ , You thought to yourself and walked out

 

Sasha was smiling and Winter was resting against the doorframe, laughing at a joke that Sasha had just told.

 

"Ready," You entered and Winter stared at you with a soft smirk

 

He stood in a navy pair of pants with a sky blue shirt and a navy jacket to match. You adored that he was always so formally dressed for dates but casual otherwise. However, there was a glove on his left hand and you made a point to ask him as soon as you were alone with him.

 

"Hey, beautiful," He smiled and you blushed, "It was nice to see you," He spoke to Sasha and she giggled as she wiggled her eyebrows at you

 

"Get some!" She whispered to you as you walked out with Winter

 

He offered you his arm and you took it without hesitation. 

 

"Nice necklace," He winked and you smiled at him 

 

"So, where are we going?" You slid into the car and closed the door

 

"I figured I cook for my best gal," He smiled brightly 

 

"We- we're going back to your- to your house?" Your heart drummed in your ears

 

_This is going too fast_ , You contained your feelings because you didn't want Winter feeling your anxiety 

 

"Yeah," He nodded as the car picked up speed, "I'll cook for you, we can watch a movie or somethin'," 

 

"Okay," Your voice was small as thoughts ran wild in your head

 

_Why is he taking me back to his place?_  You groaned internally

 

"Winter," You spoke up, deciding to ask about the gloved hand, "How far are we?" You chose to say instead

 

"A few blocks," He told you

 

"We could've walked," You pointed out and he nodded

 

"Yeah, but I like driving when you're in my car," He smiled at you softly and you felt the anxiety disappear

 

_How can someone with a smile like that... be bad?_  You thought to yourself 

 

"What's on your mind, doll?" He patted your hand gently and you sighed

 

"I'm..." You rethought your words, "Do you think that we're going too fast? I mean, you're taking me back to your place, and I..." 

 

The car stopped suddenly and Winter turned to look at you

 

"Y/N," He cradled your face and your eyes met his, "I'm not gonna make you do anything,"

 

"I know," You swallowed, "No- I know- I'm just- I've heard too many horror stories," 

 

Winter retracted his hands and leaned back into his seat. His expression was emotionless and hard to read. Even you couldn't  _feel_  anything from him, it was as if everything had been turned off. 

 

"Winter," You spoke after a few moments of silence

 

"No, you're right," He turned the car on, "I should've asked you. I'll take you back,"

 

"I don't-," You didn't want to go back, you  _wanted_  to be with him, but then why was everything just so difficult? 

 

"I don't want to go back but I-," You found your voice again, "IamvirginandIdon'twanttopissyouoff," You mumbled in a single breath and Winter stopped the car again 

 

"What?" He turned to look at you and your heart drummed in your ears

 

"Fuckin' hell," You whispered and you out of the car

 

The roads weren't empty but there was a certain lack of traffic, no doubt, however, you were too preoccupied to think of that

 

* * *

 

"Sir, we've lost audio," Someone stated loudly

 

"What do you mean?" Pierce's brows furrowed

 

"The Target has appeared to have gotten out of the car," Someone explained, "The Asset has pursued the Target," 

 

"Do we have eyes on them?" Pierce asked and suddenly, a video from a traffic cam showed you leaning against the car door and Winter coming from his side towards you

 

* * *

 

"What's goin', doll?" Winter stood in front of you

 

"I don't want to piss you off," You swallowed and he laughed

 

"How could you do that?" He tucked a stray hair behind your ear

 

"I- I just-," You finally looked up at him and he had a soft smile but his eyes were full of worry and concern, "I don't want you to expect a lot just because you're taking me your place," 

 

Winter roared with laughter and you were more confused than ever.

 

"Is that all, doll?" He cocked a brow and you nodded, "Well, you ain't ever gotta worry about it, sweetheart, Winter Williams never forces anything on a dame," 

 

"You should meet Remy," You chuckled, "He talks in the third person too," 

 

He leaned his forehead against yours and you breathed him in

 

"You ain't ever gotta worry about me, doll," He looked into your out of focus eyes, "I promise," 

 

"Okay," You nodded and feeling a little braver, you spoke again, "Winter," He hummed in reply, "How come you only wear a glove on your left hand?" 

 

_Dread. Worry. Anxiety. Fear._  These emotions flooded your senses as they emitted from Winter

 

"I- Uh- Y/N- It's- I'm not-," He stuttered as he tried to put a coherent sentence together

 

You kissed his cheek and all those feelings faded but only one remained.  _Fear_. You couldn't understand that. Why would he fear you? He knew nothing about your mutantcy and he was physically stronger than what you ever could be.

 

"It's a- It's-" He took a deep breath and let it out, closing his eyes, "It's a prosthetic," 

 

That hit you from nowhere at all. You never knew that Winter had a prosthetic but then, he could move his fingers? It didn't make any sense.

 

"I'll- I can- I'll show it to you if you want," His voice was small and weak

 

"For that," You smiled softly, trying to ease his discomfort, "You'll have to take me home, yeah?" 

 

Winter chuckled slowly, "Yeah," He nodded and you two sat in the car again

 

You only realized that you'd called his apartment  _home_  when you pulled up outside the building.  You tried not to dwell too long on it but you did. You couldn't understand how someone so  _new_  could feel like you'd known them forever. 

 

"What floor are you on?" You asked as he guided to the elevator

 

"Top," He said proudly and you nodded

 

When the elevator doors opened into the apartment, you were blown away. Everything was so  _proper_  but not too formal. There was a homeliness to it but it didn't feel like it had been lived in for a long time. 

 

"So, what are we having?" You asked as he took your coat and you sat down at the kitchen counter 

 

"We're having lasagna," He had his back towards you as he moved around the kitchen, "And some very amazing red wine from 1843," 

 

"Vintage," You gasped in awe, "I'm impressed," 

 

Dinner began and you two spoke about almost everything and nothing at all. He told you about the money his parents had left him, which explained the lifestyle he could afford. He had money in stocks as well, which ensured his luxurious lifestyle. 

 

After dinner, he took you to the balcony and you were curled in a blanket next to him as you finished the bottle of wine. 

 

"It was a few years ago," Winter spoke suddenly, breaking the silence, "It was the crash in which my folks died," 

 

You realized that he was telling you about his arm and you sat up straight to look at him

 

"I got stuck between the seat and the door, they had to pull the door out but the nerves," He took a breathe, "The nerves were too damaged to repair and the oil from the car had gotten in me, so to stop the poisoning, they just hacked it off," He laughed sarcastically, "Just a clean fuckin' cut. I was so scared about ma and pa, I never even felt the pain until I woke up,"

 

You moved and sat on his thighs, looking into his eyes, smiling to assure him that you were staying, even if had a prosthetic, it didn't matter to you 

 

"When I woke up, there were- there were all these doctors and machines- they had hooked me up to god knows what and then everything faded away again," Winter explained and you nodded as you held both of his hands in yours, "When I woke up again," He pulled away from your hands and took off the glove, "My godfather was there. He's told the doctors to do whatever, to fix me somehow, to make me better," 

 

You stared at the shiny silver hand and then his forearm as he folded the sleeve

 

"That's incredible," You whispered as you stared at the metal arm

 

His fingers curled against yours and you traced the outlines of every plate. Winter was staring at you because you were so in awe of him. You didn't recoil, you weren't afraid and you didn't think he was broken. 

 

"Is it til the elbow?" You met his eyes and he shook his head

 

"Let's go inside," He offered and you got off him as gracefully as you could

 

Winter walked ahead and you followed, focusing on your footsteps because you had a significant buzz going on. You noticed that he was starting to unbutton his shirt and your breath got caught in your throat.

 

"Woah, woah," You set the bottle on the floor, "Let's slow it-,"

 

Winter took off his shirt and time just seemed to  _stop._  The scars extended over his shoulder and spread across his chest. You stepped closer and you lost focus. Your necklace disappeared and Winter's eyes went wide in shock.

 

"Y/N," He swallowed but you were too busy admiring his beautifully scarred body, "Y/N," He took your name again and you looked at him, "Your necklace," He whispered and your hand went to neck 

 

"Winter, I- I'm-," You couldn't find the words

 

"It disappeared," He stared at your neck and then looked into your eyes 

 

"Yeah," You squeaked, "Do- do you- do you trust me?" He nodded and you took a deep breath, "Close your eyes," 

 

Winter seemed sceptical but he did so nonetheless

 

"Please don't run when you see what I'm about to show you," You whispered and he nodded stiffly, "Open them,"

 

When Winter opened his eyes, he was surrounded by butterflies of all kinds and colours. Flowers were growing out of the walls and the sweet scent of roses filled the air.

 

"I'm a mutant," You whispered, "I know you didn't sign up for this-,"

 

He cut you off by placing his lips against yours. It was different from the two times before. There was no lust, no want, no need, it was  _pure_  admiration. He cradled your face and your hands fell to his waistline. He was so warm under your touch, you loved it. He tasted of wine and his lips were soft as they fell perfectly in line with yours.

 

_Is this what home feels like?_  You couldn't help but think as he wrapped his left arm around you and pulled you close

 

You hadn't expected this but you weren't complaining either. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know if you want the next chapter to be smuttyyy or should we wait a little longer??? 
> 
> and yes, I LOVE BUTTERFLIES in this fic - it's a stunning creature and come onn, have you ever seen a butterfly and not felt instantly happy????


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'ALL DESERVE SOME TOOTH ROTTIN' FLUFFFFF

The cool of the metal made you shiver but Winter's chest, which was against yours, was warm and comforting. His hands went below your hips and he held you up so easily that for a moment you thought if he was a mutant too.

 

The butterflies and flowers faded as your thoughts were consumed with him, and him alone. You braced yourself by holding onto his shoulders as he walked through the massive house easily, with you in his arms. Winter set you down on his bed and you pulled away, worrying that he might want to take it further. 

 

"Win-," You began but his kissed you so softly that you lost your voice

 

"Don't worry," He whispered and you nodded

 

You got comfortable in bed as your eyes followed Winter as he went back outside. You heard switches being clicked and realized that clearly, the boy cared about saving energy as he turned off the lights outside the room. You noticed how proper everything was but it all just seemed so much like _him;_ thought-out and proper but with a burst of colour.Your eyes scanned the bedroom, the clock on the side table was shining in the dim lighting and there was a phone next to it as well.

 

"Hey," He said as he walked back in

 

Winter ran his fingers through his hair and you saw that he was much more comfortable with you now. He sat close to you and you kissed his shoulder softly. 

 

"You don't mind it?" He whispered and you shook your head as you pressed kisses along the scars that stretched over his shoulder and chest

 

"Nope," You smiled at him, "Makes you unique," 

 

"You're really somethin' too, doll," He chuckled, "What else can you do?" He pulled you into his lap as he leaned back on the bedhead 

 

"Anything and everything," You said softly as your fingertips ghosted over his skin, "I can make you see, hear, feel, smell, even taste whatever I want," 

 

"Anything?" He cocked a brow and you kissed his lips again

 

"Anything," You spoke against his lips, "But it needs a lot of focus... and-,"

 

"And?" Winter's thumb caressed your cheek

 

"And you distract me," You giggled and he pulled you into a hug 

 

"Well, ain't that somethin'," He winked and you laughed loudly, "Can you show me more?" 

 

"What do you want to see?" You gave him an Eskimo kiss

 

"Something... unbelievable," He whispered and you nodded

 

You took in a deep breath as you decided what could you show Winter and then it clicked. You pulled the blanket over your shoulders, covering Winter as well in the process and then he saw it.

 

Tiny little snowflakes falling from the ceiling. The temperature fell drastically and your breaths became foggy clouds. He put out his hand and was surprised that he was actually able to feel the  _iciness_  of the snow. In a few minutes, the whole room had a sheet of snow covering every surface. 

 

"Seemed appropriate," You giggled, "Winter was always my favourite season," 

 

"I ain't tryna sound cheesy, doll, but Winter could also be your favourite person," He wiggled his brows at you and you doubled over laughing

 

He wrapped his warm arms around you, pulling you into his chest. His warmth seeped into your bones and he kissed the tip of your nose. You smiled and scrunched up your nose as you focused on the room. The snow melted away and flowers sprouted from the whiteness. A forest grew around the two of you and you saw how Winter's eyes shined as little lightning bugs emerged from the flowers.

 

Winter was awestruck, to say the least. He reached out and touched a lavender which was closest to him. He rubbed the flower between his index and thumb, squishing it and admiring the pigment it left behind.

 

"It  _feels_  so real," He whispered and you leaned against his chest, you head resting in the crook of his neck

 

"It _is_ real for as long as I want it to be," You told him and he hummed as he touched the plants

 

You could feel _affection_ , _admiration_ and most of all, _respect_ from Winter. He was feeling so much  _love_ , even, that you were honestly surprised as to how fast things were going. 

 

_It's not a storybook_ , You scolded yourself when you felt love for Winter because you barely knew him but you were beginning to feel so strongly for him

 

"What's on your mind, doll?" He looked at you and you sighed

 

"Nothing," You breathed, "I'm just thinkin',"

 

"What about?" He nudged you

 

"You," You confessed

 

"What about me, darlin'?" He chuckled and you smiled against his skin

 

"Just... thinkin', alright," You giggled and he smirked

 

Winter took your name and you hummed in response, "Stay the night," 

 

"I can't," You laughed, "I have no clothes," 

 

"You can borrow mine," He stated it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world 

 

You stared at him for a while but then you felt his _hopefulness_ and _sincerity_ in the air. So, all you could really do was nod and smile. 

 

"Okay," You kissed his cheek and cuddled again 

 

The night was mostly spent with you showing him different things. The one thing Winter loves the most was when you made a rose that would change colour with every passing minute. He gave you his boxers and a sweatshirt to sleep in. You faded away the illusions and the air felt so thin without the plants and colours. It was a cool night but against the warmth that was radiating from Winter, well, you didn't have to worry much for blankets. 

 

* * *

 

You were jolted awake in a different environment as the phone rang on the side table. You looked around and the shrill sound of the continuous ringing was giving you a severe headache. You remembered where you were and groaned Winter's name as you elbowed him to pick the phone while you covered your head with the pillows

 

"Hello?" He answered the phone and you drifted back to sleep

 

You felt the bed dip and Winter leave quietly. You just stretched over the massive bed and got comfortable again. It had been far too long that you'd gotten a bed which you didn't have to squeeze into. 

 

* * *

 

"Doll," You heard Winter calling out to you, "Gotta wake-up," 

 

"Don't want to," You shoved your face into the pillow and wrapped yourself in the blanket

 

Winter chuckled softly as pulled you into his arms even though you were a blanket burrito, "Okay, don't get up," He kissed your cheek softly and his stubble rubbed against your skin, "But I gotta know somethin'," You opened one eye and looked at him

 

"Do I tell my godfather that my girlfriend's in my bed or..." He whispered and you were suddenly very awake

 

"What?" You gasped, "Wait- ugh- ho- wait," You tried to unwrap yourself and Winter roared with laughter

 

"Girlfriend huh?" You smirked as he gathered you into his arms again

 

"Yeah, he comes over every Sunday for brunch," Winter nodded as he kissed the corner of your mouth 

 

"I have nothing to wear," You stated with horror, "Wait- Brunch? What time is it?"

 

"Almost noon, doll," He laughed and you clapped your hands over your mouth

 

"I slept for so long!" You scrambled out of bed, "I have nothing to wear- I look like a mess- Oh my god! Your godfather will hate me!"

 

You ranted as you paced around and gathered your things

 

"Why aren't you panicking with me?" You squealed when you saw Winter sitting on the bed casually

 

"Because..." He took a deep breath and stood up, "I went to see Sasha in the mornin' and got your stuff," 

 

"How did you know what to get?" You cocked a brow and looked at the bag at Winter was pointing at

 

"I didn't," He shrugged, "Sasha did," 

 

"Remind me to thank her," You whispered as you put out your things, your clothes and toiletries in the bathroom

 

You looked at Winter's reflection in the bathroom mirror as you stood at the sink and he leaned against the door frame. He wore grey pyjamas and a white vest; he also had a soft smile on his face as he eyes drank in your image. You winked at him and a blue coloured rose appeared in his hand.

 

"The petals will fall and disappear when I'm ready," You told him as he stared at the flower in awe

 

"You're really somethin'," He approached you and kissed your neck, "I'm glad I found you," 

 

The bell rang and he wrapped his arms around your waist, giving you a little squeeze. 

 

"That must be him," He told you, "Come out whenever you're ready," He kissed you again and placed the flower on the dresser before leaving the room

 

You waited until you heard another male voice in the room and stepped into the shower. You quickly cleaned up and got dressed. Your anxiety was all over the place because you  _knew_  that this was someone Winter held important to himself. He had also referred to you as his **girlfriend** , so, clearly, he was serious about you. Your heart was drumming so hard that you were surprised your ribs hadn't been broken by the sheer ferocity of your heart.

 

You stole one last glance at yourself and stepped out of the bedroom. You saw a handsome older man laughing as Winter and him shared a joke.

 

"Good afternoon," You said shyly as you closed the bedroom door behind yourself

 

"You must be Y/N!" The older man said happily and you nodded

 

Winter joined your side and drapped his arm over your shoulder,"Yes, it is," He told the man proudly, "Y/N," Winter turned to you, "This is my godfather, Alexander Pierce," 

 

"It's very nice to meet you, Mr Pierce," You said with a smile but he waved you off

 

"Oh, sweetheart, call me Alex," Pierce said softly and you nodded again, "You know, Winter here, he can't seem to shut up about you!"

 

"Is that it?" You laughed and Winter's ears turned red

 

"Дядя," Winter groaned as he made coffee for everyone

 

"What?" Pierce laughed, "I'm only tellin' this stunning woman what you've been doing!"

 

You could feel Pierce's _sincerity_ and _easiness_ with Winter. It filled your heart with warmth to see him laughing and smiling, and just, so comfortable. You looked at Winter as he moved around the kitchen while Pierce told you all about Winter being a lovesick puppy. You realized that you could really love Winter and maybe a part of you was already doing it. 

 

You asked what did Дядя mean and Pierce told you that it was Russian for _U_ _ncle_. You got to know that Winter's father was from Russia but his mother was from Queens, so he grew up knowing English and Russian, and then his mother's love for different languages made him want to learn a different one every year. 

 

"We should meet more often, dear," Pierce offered, "Winter has a habit of keeping things to himself," 

 

"Well, I'll be buying a cellular phone next week," You explained, "That way you can call me directly,"

 

"You're breakin' my heart, doll," Winter said dramatically and you giggled as you pressed a soft kiss to his cheek

 

"Oh, I'm sorry," You cooed at him and suddenly felt  _pride_ and  _smugness_  from Pierce, you shook away the feeling because the feelings you had just felt didn't make sense to the situation 

 

Pierce left about an hour later and you found yourself in Winter's bed again. You two decided to be lazy for the day and he put on a movie as you drifted in and out of sleep. Before you knew it, the sun was setting.

 

"You need to take me back," You reminded him

 

"Stay the night," Winter said softly and you rolled your eyes, "You don't have a reason to leave, doll," He wiggled his brows, "You've got your clothes here, your toothbrush and your makeup, your shoes-,"

 

"Okay, okay," You laughed, "You made your point,"

 

"So, you'll stay?" He perked up and you made a face as if you were thinking really hard about it, "Please," He whispered as he kissed behind your ear and you found yourself melting his hands

 

_How am I supposed to say no to him?_ You scolded yourself and finally gave in

 

"I'll stay," You huffed, "But no funny business!"

 

"I wouldn't dream of it, doll," Winter promised and kissed you deeply

 

_I can get used to this_ , You thought to yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooo pierce is becoming your frrriiiieeennnddddddd
> 
> ALSO  
> i have finalllyyy gotten on tumblr  
> so hit me up  
> i'm there with the same name as here!  
> https://totallynotashieldagent.tumblr.com/
> 
> Help me figure tumblr out because i'm SO out of my depth 
> 
> ALSO  
> Дядя is pronounced like "dyadya"


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones not that long  
> but then  
> i'm kinda stuck these days!! inspire me ppl!! inspire meee!! tell me a love story! it is supposed to be the month of looovvvveee!!
> 
> and find me on tumblr at "Totallynotashieldagent"

You woke up with a pair of strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer than even possible. You sighed with contentment as you breathed in the musk of the man that was holding you. You'd had the best weekend of your life and you were trying to not think about the fact that you were only going to be around for two months more. You blinked your eyes open and suddenly jerked awake as you saw the clock.

 

"Shit!" You shouted as you broke free of Winter's hold, "Fuckin' hell! Wake up! Wake up! Wake- Fuck- Wake up! I'm late!" You yelled and Winter scrambled out of bed as you ran into the bathroom to take a quick shower and get ready

 

Winter's hair was a mess and he was groggy. He dragged his feet to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, whereas you got ready in a whirlwind because you had a session with Mr Rumlow in less than 30 minutes. 

 

"Hurry, hurry, hurry!" You pulled him out of the kitchen

 

"Babe, coffee," He tried to protest but you were late and your half tucked out shirt was a testament to it

 

You turned and kissed him deeply. You tasted the bitterness on his tongue and his arms wrapped around you as an instinct as he pushed his pelvis into you, trapping you between himself and the door

 

"I  _promise_ , I'll make it up to you but right now, I  _desperately_  need you to drive me back," You whispered against his lips and he nodded numbly

 

"Sure, doll," He said with a goofy smile on his face

 

You quickly gathered your things in a frenzy as Winter pulled on his jacket and glove. He drove with droopy eyes and without much conversation. You gave him a chaste kiss and ran off towards Rumlow's office.

 

* * *

 

"You're never late," Rumlow's voice was soft, full of amusement even but you could feel the anger coming off of him in waves

 

"Sorry," You mumbled as you closed the door behind yourself 

 

Your eyes were glued to the floor as you sat down on the chair and Rumlow didn't speak for a moment but it felt like far too long

 

"So, how was your weekend?" He smiled but  _god,_ he was angry, he was  _so_ angry 

 

"It was nice," You mimicked his smile, "I went out with Winter," You cleared your throat and his anger hit you hard, "We just stayed in and watched a movie. I met his godfather, it was  _nice_ ,"

 

"Oh, you met Alex," Rumlow clicked his tongue, "He's a really great guy," He chuckled but his eyes were menacing 

 

"I enjoyed my time with them both," You shifted in your chair slightly, you really weren't comfortable with this particular interaction

 

"May I ask you something, Y/N?" Rumlow stood up and walked around the desk, leaning against the desk in front of you

 

You had to meet his eyes otherwise, "Sure," 

 

"I hope you're being careful with your... interactions with Winter," He said softly, "It wouldn't be a good thing for you to...  _contract_  something," 

 

"What- OhMyGod!" You gasped loudly as you stood up, "Nothing like that happened! Even if it did, it's my personal life," You wanted to throw up, "You're my counsellor, if my studies are fine, you shouldn't be nosy about other things!"

 

"Y/N," He tried to diffuse the situation

 

"No!" You shouted, "This session is  _over_ ," You were fuming and you left the room, closing the door with a loud  _thud!_

* * *

 

"What the fuck did you do?" Pierce's voice was soft and dripped with venom 

 

"Nothin'!" Rumlow tried to defend himself over the phone, "I was just- It was a normal session!"

 

"Let's not play games," Pierce chuckled softly and the vibrations came through the phone

 

"I'm not playin' at nothin'," Rumlow ran his fingers through his hands, "I just was making sure if the _process_ had begun. I know how important this project is for you," 

 

"You were rash and you threw your training out the window," Pierce sighed, "You were far too direct,"

 

"I was subtle," Rumlow reasoned, "You can listen to the tapes again, I gave nothing away. She reacted in an unpredictable manner," Pierce fell quiet for a few moments 

 

"That is right," Pierce hummed, "Talk to her and _apologize_ ," 

 

Rumlow wanted to add something but he was glad to have saved his neck so he took his leave silently and hung up.

 

* * *

 

You entered your empty room and screamed into a pillow. Rumlow's anger had affected you in a much deeper manner than you could have ever expected.  _Why?_  You didn't have an answer to it. Your eyes burned with tears because honestly,  _Brock had no right!_  But then... Since when did you call him Brock anyway? 

 

 _Did I overreact?_  You asked yourself as you washed your face

 

Rumlow's question wasn't out of line... Students did tend to live a little too free and there had been a viral outbreak a while back as well. Maybe you did overreact. You paced your room and decided that maybe you did speak out of line but then... Brock took up a tone that you did not appreciate at all. 

 

"Talk it out," You whispered, "Tell him that you didn't like the way he spoke," You spoke a little louder as you looked into the mirror

 

You nodded to yourself a walked towards the door. Your hand had barely touched the handle when a knock echoed through the room and you froze.

 

"It's me," Rumlow's voice came through, "I wanna talk," 

 

You swallowed and discovered that you throat had gone dry. Your mind was blank and all the arguments that you'd thought of to throw at Rumlow had been lost to the wind.

 

"I know you're in there, Y/N," He sighed, "Come on, I just want to talk," 

 

You took a deep breath and swung the door open. Your skin was practically radiating heat due to anger and you were staring at Rumlow with a piercing gaze. You saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed and looked at you.

 

"Well?" Your voice wasn't as strong as your intended it to be

 

"Can I come in?" His voice was soft and you couldn't really say no so you stepped aside and closed the door behind him

 

"I'm sorry for stepping out of line," His words surprised you because you weren't expecting an apology but there was a feeling of fear and worry washing off of him 

 

"And?" You folded your arms over your chest

 

"And I'm..." Rumlow rubbed the back of his neck as he stood in front of you, "And I'll understand if you want a different counsellor,"

 

"Mr Ru-," You began but Brock cut you off

 

"No, I mean, I get it," He ranted, "It's your life and you're right. I maybe got a little too involved because I see you so often, so, maybe you're right in asking for someone else," 

 

"I was just," You started again, "I'm not used to talking about my nonexistent love life," 

 

You offered him a smile and he returned it. A silence fell.

 

* * *

 

"What's going on?" Pierce looked around

 

"Sir, the audio is clear, however, they seem to not be speaking," Someone explained

 

Your room was bugged for audio but not video. If it had been, maybe they would have intervened somehow and Rumlow would have been pulled out of the mission completely but Pierce was a man of mistakes and one of them was this as well.

 

* * *

 

"I don't- I don't _want_ a different counsellor," You spoke softly, "I'm comfortable with **you**  but- but you spoke with such an - such an  _accusation_ ," 

 

"I know," He nodded, "I'm sorry, I guess I got protective. I just don't want you to push aside your studies for some guy,"

 

"I won't," You promised him and maybe it was the need to ease his worry or maybe it was you want of some sort of comfort, you reached out to him and caressed his cheek, "I won't," 

 

Worry seemed to dissipate from Rumlow and overcome with a feeling of affection... no, it wasn't affection, it was lust. Before you realized what was happening, Brock's lips were against yours and you didn't resist either. He wasn't soft and caring like Winter, no, he was rough and he pushed you against the wall. A gasp was caught in your throat as something dug into your back but that soon turned into a soft moan as Rumlow bit your lower lip and you granted him access to your mouth. A hand wrapped around your throat and that sent a sensation directly to your core and a shiver to your spine.

 

He tasted of mint and cherries and something entirely  _him_. However, it was over as soon as it had begun and he stepped back just a fraction and gave you another chaste kiss. His hand loosened at your throat but still rested on your chest as you breathed. 

 

"I'll see you Friday, then?" He smiled and you nodded, not trusting your voice, "Good," He winked and just like that... he was gone

 

 _What the fuck?!_  You screamed internally because you felt dirty, god, you felt so dirty. You'd just gotten together with Winter and within a few hours, you'd cheated on him! But then, Rumlow had forced himself on you. However, you never pushed him off either?

 

"Oh god," You sat down on your bed and your mouth still tasted of cherries, "What did I do?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooooo rumlow is fuckin' it upppp
> 
> ALSO WRITING IN SECOND PERSON IS MESSING WITH MY THIRD PERSON WRITING SKILLS!!!!  
> i literally had to rewrite two chapters of my own novel because i switched from third person to second person i didn't even realize it
> 
> send help
> 
>  
> 
> ON THE OTHER HAND  
> i can't wait to see black panther  
> i'm gonna churn out sooo much killmonger fanfic holyshit you don't even know


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter takes place in 2016 (pre civil war) 
> 
> just a burst of present time angst to show what is coming uppp

You were already past saving and  _he_  kept repeating your name even though Steve was holding him back. Why was Steve holding him back? Why wasn't anyone moving? The ground felt like cement and everything was so frozen. 

 

"How?" Your voice was barely a whisper and  _he_ was looking at you as if you were the answer to every single prayer he'd made

 

"Y/N," Steve spoke loudly and your attention faltered from the man that he was holding, "Do you know Bucky?"

 

 _Bucky? That's not his name. I know his name. What's his name?_  Your mind was in turmoil

 

Logan shouted your name but it fell on deaf ears. You were focused on grey-blue eyes that you hadn't seen in far too long.  _Had it been that long?_  You asked yourself but you didn't really have an answer. There was an eerie darkness falling around everyone and the lobby was seemingly melting away. Steve knew that it was an illusion but it just  _felt_  so real that his grip tightened on Bucky. 

 

"No," You finally mumbled

 

"No?" Logan repeated, "What no? Y/N? What you on about?" 

 

"Not his name," You swallowed, "That's- that's not his name," You shivered as you said the words and memories rushed back to you 

 

"Mon amour, Gambit has brought you and-" Remy walked in and he knew Bucky as soon as he saw him, he recognized him from the polaroids you'd sent him so long ago, "Putain de trou du cul, vous êtes la raison de cette!" He snarled and before anyone could do anything, he lunged forward and cards flew from both of his sleeves and hit Bucky square in the chest 

 

Bucky went flying as he hit the wall behind. Cards flew at lightning speed and exploded against his chest, arms, leaving cuts, marks and bruises on whatever skin they hit.

 

Steve was shouting, Logan was trying to hold Remy back as he screamed profanities and you slummed to the floor.  _Why was Steve calling Winter a different name?_ Your eyes were flooded, your heart was thundering, you didn't know what was going on. Your knees gave out and you fell to the floor. 

 

You knew Bucky. Steve spoke about Bucky all the time but Bucky died in the war and he had short hair and the... the same grey-blue eyes. It could've been Winter's uncle or relative, a lot of people have grey-blue eyes! Winter and Bucky couldn't possibly be the same people. You knew that. You  _knew_ that. You knew that... didn't you?

 

" _ENOUGH_!" An angrier, much louder voice boomed through the floor

 

The darkness dissipated and everyone turned to see what was going on. Tony walked in and put his hand forward, helping you up to your feet. 

 

"Sort it out," Tony said coldly to everyone and turned to you, "Let's get you to your room, alright?" He said it with such a bright smile and you couldn't help but smile as well

 

You nodded and left with him, leaving behind the chaos and negativity. You liked Tony because no matter what was going on, he would always have such a positive air around himself. It was often hard to read him as well because he projected such strong emotions of happiness that it was hard to decipher what he was truly feeling. 

 

"What's the meaning of this?!" Steve shouted as soon as you were out of earshot, "Bucky's been through enough already!"

 

"He hasn't been through enough, mon amie," Remy's eyes were fixated on Bucky, "Gambit will make him pay," 

 

"Control your friend, Howlet," Steve warned 

 

"What's goin' on, Remy? Logan turned to look at Remy who was still staring at Bucky

 

"That's him," Remy said with venom laced in every syllable he spoke, "Winter Williams,"

 

"You sure, kid?" Logan asked Remy and he nodded, "I ain't doin' nothin', bub," Logan shrugged and turned to Steve, "Remy can do whatever he wants with your  _friend_  here. He's hurt Y/N plenty and we ain't afraid of hurtin' him back," 

 

"What the hell are you two on about?" Steve finally broke

 

"Winter fuckin' Williams," Logan spat, "The prick that wooed Y/N at college, the reason she disappeared and Pierce got to her, the reason she was in Cyro for years, the reason  _everything_  went to shit. It was all  _him_ ,"

 

"Stay away from her," Remy warned Bucky and walked out

 

Logan put his hands in his pockets and walked away as well. Steve stared at the men leaving, knowing that it wasn't Bucky, it was Pierce controlling him but a part of him also knew that you loved him so much that a part of you died in Cyro. How was he going to fix it? How was he going to fix you? How was he going to fix Bucky? He didn't know.

Steven Grant Rogers wasn't a man of many secrets but the ones he had... well, they were the ones that could ruin lives. 

 

* * *

 

"How are you, mon amour?" Remy knocked your door 

 

"I can't believe it looks _just like him_ ," You whispered, "The resemblance is uncanny," 

 

Remy rubbed the back of his neck, it pained him to see you like this. It made him sick to his stomach but it also made him feel worse to know that Bucky was just a puppet in it all. He looked around to make sure you were alone; you were. 

 

"Isn't it?" You looked up and met his gaze

 

"Gambit agrees," He smiled at you, "They could be one person,"

 

"Why are you lying?" You frowned, "I can feel your...  _guilt_. Why are you guilty?" You reached out to caress his cheek

 

"Je suis vraiment désolé, mon amour," He sighed as he leaned into your touch

 

"Sorry?" You were confused, "Sorry for what?" Tears were beginning to pool his eyes, "Remy, what happened? What are you sorry for?"

 

"Gambit wasn't there, cher," He whimpered, "Gambit wasn't there to keep to safe,"

 

"It wasn't your fault," You pulled him closer and hugged him, "Nothing was your fault," 

 

"How can you still say that?" His voice was barely a whisper, "Even after everything they did-,"

 

"Remy LeBeau," You pulled away and looked into his eyes, "It wasn't your fault, I love you, I'm glad to be by you again and none of it-  _none of it_  was your fault,"

 

"Gambit swears on his life," His said with a new determination, "Gambit will keep you safe this time,"

 

You had spent weeks trying to convince him that nothing was his doing, or lack of. You didn't know that seeing Bucky made him feel like if he had been around, if Amanda hadn't had him wrapped around his finger, he would've seen the signs, he would've seen you slipping away, he could've somehow prevented it but just... couldn't. 

 

"I know you will," You tried to ease the tension but there was a different layer of anger to Remy that wasn't there a moment ago

 

"Gambit won't let any of them hurt you," His red eyes glowed with anger, "Plus jamais,"  

 

* * *

 

"It's her," Bucky sat with a vacant expression as a nurse tended to his wounds 

 

"Can you tell me who she is Buck?" Steve wanted to take it slow but Bucky knew you the moment he saw you so you must've meant something to him, "FRIDAY, can you pull records on a Winter Williams from the 1990s?" 

 

"Records show multiple people with that name," The AI announced

 

"Anyone that matches Bucky?" He said unsurely as looked over at his friend who still had the same emptiness in his eyes

 

"None, Captain Rogers," FRIDAY answered and Steve decided that it was all just a massive misunderstanding 

 

* * *

 

"Care to explain what the fuck was that?" Tony barked as soon as Logan swaggered into his office

 

"A _minor_ disagreement," Logan shrugged and lit his cigar, "Listen, you gotta move Steve and his pal to another floor,"

 

"No, I don't," Tony made a face, "I gave you lot an entire floor, that's like an apartment  _each_! What's going on, Logan?" 

 

"Steve's friend ain't no good for Y/N," Logan took a long drag of his cigar

 

"Explain," Tony inhaled a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, "FRIDAY, initiate security protocol, _claws and smoke_ ," His face broke into a wide smile, "There, now you can't leave without telling me! So, I suggest you talk," 

 

Tony winked an sat down on a comfortably large black chair behind the unreasonably massive desk and Logan sighed but a smirked danced upon his lips nonetheless. 

 

"You remember when Y/N woke up?" Logan cradled his head in his empty hand

 

"'Course, we were all there," Tony nodded, "It was a few months after Ultron,"

 

"You remember the first words she said?" Logan looked up at Tony

 

" _Winter, save me_ ," Tony repeated them as if it was just yesterday

 

"Steve's friend is Winter," Logan's eyes fell to the floor again, "Pierce might've gotten him to do a lot of fucked up things but what they got him to do with her, what they got her to believe through him, I get that it was all sick and twisted, fuck, I've been there but Remy- Remy's pissed and he's got every right to be,"

 

"But he had no choice," Tony couldn't believe his own words 

 

"We know that, Remy knows that but that boy loves Y/N to the moon and back and she's the only family he got," Logan looked Tony again, "So, please, move Steve and his friend," 

 

"No," Tony stated with finality, "Bucky needs to be kept under surveillance but I'll move you three to a safe down in Queen. Peter can play housemate!"

 

"That kid is on a perpetual sugar rush, Tony," Logan groaned

 

"Ah, ah, ah, take it or leave it," Tony smirked and Logan rolled his eyes

 

* * *

 

"It was her," Bucky repeated for the thousandth time

 

"Can you tell me about her, Buck?" Steve finally stopped asking about anything else

 

"Y/N," Bucky's face twitched ever so slightly right the corner of his lips, "Butterflies," 

 

"Yeah, Y/N really likes butterflies," Steve smiled but then realized that there was no way that Bucky should have known that, "Wait, Buck, how do you know that?"

 

"Blue butterflies," Bucky's face softened into a sliver of a smile 

 

"Buck, how do you know that?" Steve's voice was becoming aggressive as it didn't make sense why Bucky even had this information

 

"Loved butterflies," Bucky's eyes finally met Steve's and there was colour in them

 

Steve had found Bucky in Romania and since then. Since he had brought him back, he hadn't said much but since he'd seen you, for the first few hours, he'd gone into complete shock. However, after a while, it was beginning to dawn on him that HYDRA had put you in Cyro and that you were there, you were real, you were  _alive and well_  and in the same time as him and HYDRA wasn't controlling either of him. 

 

"Y/N loved blue butterflies," Bucky's eyes were full of tears and Steve's face had a sad smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first things firrrssttt  
> trrrrranslations!
> 
> mon amour - my love  
> cher - dear  
> Putain de trou du cul, vous êtes la raison de cette - fucking asshole, you're the reason for this  
> Je suis vraiment désolé - i'm really sorry  
> Plus jamais - never again
> 
>  
> 
> secondlyyy  
> eeeyyyyyyy so that wil happennnnn


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT!!!!!!! the day is 2nd of July 1996!!!!

Your fingers ghosted over the piano but the room was filled with a serenading music. You almost always found that auditory illusions were the easiest and required the least focus. Your mind was still going back to yesterday morning when Rumlow kissed you but you still had classes to go to and life still went on and everything could just be paused because you had a lapse of judgement. You needed a breather but there was still an hour to go and you were just... _tired_.

 

You couldn't place the tiredness but it was there. You were sleeping well but there was a lingering exhaustion that has latched itself unto your bones and showed no intention of leaving. 

 

"Wonderful work, Ms Y/L/N," The Professor smiled and you stopped the illusion 

 

* * *

 

"Sir, Target's on the move," Someone knocked on Pierce's door

 

"Where's she going?" Pierce asked without looking up

 

"The post office, sir," They explained, "The target is assumed to be sending the pictures that she had spoken about on call with Weapon X,"

 

"Very well," He nodded, "Make sure they're the same as what we have,"

 

"Yes, sir," They were halfway out of the room when Pierce stopped them

 

"And bring me Winter," Pierce stated 

 

* * *

 

It was in the afternoon when you stood in line at the post office with pictures in a brown envelope and an address written neatly outside. 

 

"Where to, darlin'?" The lady asked sweetly

 

"New Orleans," You told her politely as she handed you a stamp and you signed it off, "When do you think it'll be delivered?"

 

"About a week, honey," She shrugged and you nodded, "Good day," 

 

"You as well," You smiled and left the post office 

 

There was a crispness to the afternoon air and the colours seemed to fill your senses. Everywhere you looked, there was red, blue and white. It was as if the flag had been draped on every single thing or maybe America was the theme of some extravagant party. 

 

 _What's going on?_  You frowned because it was... It was... It was fucking July!!  

 

"Oh, shit," You gasped

 

The 4th had almost snuck up on you this year but it was still a few days away. You walked by an ice-cream stand and bought a vanilla cone with red, blue and white sprinkles. You were suddenly in the spirit of the day that was slowly approaching. Independence Day movie posters littered the walls and kids were running with little plastic flags. You were slightly intrigued by the movie posters with an alien ship hovering over the White House.

 

You stared at a poster as you licked your ice-cream. _Could be interesting_. You made a mental note to maybe go to the movies with Winter over the weekend but then, you didn't know he even liked those kinds of movies or not. 

 

There a feeling of pride and patriotism that was everywhere and you were engulfed in it. You stopped on your way back at a payphone. 

 

"We're closed, mon amie," Gambit's voice came through

 

"Maybe I'll stop calling at all," You huffed and he gasped

 

"Mon amour!" He laughed, "Gambit had missed you! Where have you been?" 

 

"Gambit hasn't missed me for shit, you asshat," You scolded him, "Logan told me all about you and Amanda. You don't have time for _li'l_ ol _' me!_ "

 

"You're breaking Gambit's heart, cher," He said dramatically, "Gambit only has eyes for you, tu es mon un et seul!"

 

"Lies, LeBeau," You huffed, "All lies," Remy laughed so loudly that you felt your anger fading away as well, "Okay, so tell me, you and Amanda, huh?"

 

"You'd been hiding her from Gambit, mon amie," He teased you, "She's truly a wonder,"

 

"I'm glad you're happy," You prayed that your sadness wouldn't reach him through the phone because something about the whole Remy and Amanda thing just didn't sit right with you but you didn't want to bring him down

 

"Mon cherie," Remy's voice snapped you out of your thoughts, "Are you alright?" 

 

"Of course!" You said with a fake positivity, "I'm doing great. The classes are going great and- well- ahem- well, I,"

 

"Logan told Gambit you met someone," He chuckled

 

"Oh thank god," You took a deep breath, "His name's Winter Williams. Rich boy, no folks, a complete sweetheart," 

 

"How will Gambit know it's him if he ever hurts you?" He laughed but you knew there was a seriousness to his question

 

"He's got a silver prosthetic," You roared with laughter knowing that he'd never believe you

 

"Oh, you're funny today, mon cherie," He dismissed your remark 

 

" _Oh, Remy_ ," A sing-song voice came from Remy's side, " _Don't keep me waiting,_ "

 

"Gambit needs to go, mon amie," Remy stated vacantly and hung up  

 

"Rem-," You began but the dial tone beeped, "Okay then, bye I guess," 

 

You assumed that it must've been Amanda. You were lucky that she didn't know that Gambit was on the phone with you or that you had even spoken to him. Actually, between the post office and the ice cream, no one knew that you'd just spoken to Remy and this could perhaps very well be your saving grace. 

 

You walked back to the campus and found your receptionist to be hosting a very painful frown. You ignored her and moved on but her shrill voice called you back. She told you that you had a guest and they were waiting in the lounge. 

 

You weren't expecting anyone so you were surprised to see the broad-shouldered man standing in the lounge, staring at the art projects by the previous students. 

 

"Hey stranger," You said softly but a pang of guilt rushed in your veins

 

"How you doin', doll?" Winter said brightly as he turned and kissed your cheek 

 

"I'm okay," You nodded, "What're you doing here?" 

 

"Right," He took a deep breath, "Дядя wanted me to invite you to the cookout on Thursday,"

 

"Oh?" You cocked a brow and realized that it would probably a family and close friends things, " _Oh!_ Are you sure?" 

 

"Yeah," He chuckled, "He really likes you, told me to bring you by more and all," You smiled as well, "I like you too, you know," He kissed your lips softly and you found yourself melting in his arms

 

You hummed with satisfaction and you swayed softly as his arms wrapped around your waist. He always tasted like mint. 

 

"I'll take it as a yes?" Winter laughed and you nodded, "Great! Also, Дядя sent something for you,"

 

"For me?" You pulled away, "What? But why?"

 

"He likes you," He shrugged and gave you a box

 

You gave him a look and sat down on a couch and Winter sat next to you. There was a card on top which said,  _Keep In Touch_  and you ripped open the wrapping paper to reveal a cellular phone package.

 

"Winter," You gasped, "He really didn't have to! Oh my goodness," 

 

"He said that way he won't have to rely on me to make sure you come on Thursday," He laughed and draped his arm over your shoulder and you leaned into his touch as you assembled everything 

 

"It already has his and my number," Winter told you, "You can add your uncle and cousin's, your old roommate's and whatever but yeah," He kissed the side of your head, "You can call me whenever you want now and you don't have to come to that angry mean lady for it," 

 

You roared with laughter and peppered his face with little kisses and thank yous. 

 

"This is extremely thoughtful of Alex," You whispered, "And he  _really_  didn't have to," 

 

"Trust me doll, Дядя wanted to," Winter smiled and you kissed him again 

 

"How did I find you?" You sighed, "You're amazing," You looked into his grey-blue eyes and they shined as he rolled them

 

"Oh, come on now," He chuckled, "You're gonna make me blush,"

 

"So what?" You scrunched up your nose

 

"I ain't supposed to blush," He made a face as well

 

"Why's that?" You cocked a brow

 

"Because," He kissed the tip of your nose, "I'm a man's man," You laughed loudly, "And this man's man is also takin' you to a movie on the 4th,"

 

"I thought we were going to the cookout?" You frowned at your confusion

 

"We are," He nodded, "But that's at night. I'll pick you at 3," He stood up and gave your lips a quick peck, "Wear somethin' comfy," 

 

"Ye-yeah," You were in a daze and Winter walked away with a wink 

 

He always had such a strong impact on you, emotionally and even physically. He just made you feel so comfortable and happy and safe. You shook yourself from your thoughts and walked up to your room to understand the phone better. 

 

* * *

 

In a few hours, you'd called at the club and left a few messages to Logan and Remy that you'd gotten a phone and given them your number. It turned out that Winter's godfather had been sweet enough to charge it with minutes that could last you weeks beforehand as well. You really had to get him something for being so thoughtful. You sent Alex a thank you message and realized that Logan didn't have a phone or even a pager but then again, Logan wasn't the type that kept a trail anyway. 

 

* * *

 

"What's the status?" Pierce asked the officer that had been signed to your phone

 

"The Target made calls to  _Remy LeBeau_  at his club in New Orleans and left him a few messages," The Officer explained, "The transcripts have been put in her file and she's sent you a thank you message for the phone as well," 

 

"Very well," Pierce nodded, "And for the 4th?" 

 

"Yes- uhh," The Officer swallowed thickly, "Some agents are confused as to why the charade is necessary..."

 

"Since when do they  _question_  anything?" Pierce finally looked up at the man in the suit 

 

"They're not questioning anything, sir, of course, no," He said quickly, "They just don't  _understand_  the need for the operation,"

 

"I see," Pierce leaned back and laced his fingers in his lap, "And what concerns do you have?" 

 

"My concern is that maybe an agent might eat the aphrodisiac accidentally rather than the target," The Officier stated bluntly 

 

"That's not the problem," Pierce waved his hands, "It's the 4th of July, my good man!" He laughed loudly, "Sex is part of the party. It's no issue if an agent has sex with another official, as long as it's not Winter, of course, and it doesn't compromise the operation. Apart from that, it'll just add to the realism of the day, don't you think?"

 

"I- if you say so," The Officer nodded reluctantly, "Sir, one more thing," Pierce cocked a brow, "Are you sure about the aphrodisiac?"

 

"Y/N has expressed wishes to bed Winter but her reluctance only comes from lack of experience," Pierce shrugged, "The aphrodisiac will not be in a big enough amount to trigger a hormonal imbalance but just enough to give her an extra push. Is that understood?"

 

"Yes sir," The Officer nodded but he didn't understand

 

No one understood Pierce's twisted mind, honestly. If HYDRA wanted a mutant, they took it and Winter had never been used for such a mission before and the Officier was the only one involved who even knew that Pierce wanted not just you but your genetic structure as well. Everything was slowly falling into place. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh shit  
> 4th oh july is gonnaaa be lit as ffuuuuccckkkk :o


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4TH OF JULY 1996  
> OPENING DAY OF INDEPENDENCE DAY (the original one) and gaaahhh i really hope you like it!! i enjoyed writing itt!!

"So, who else is coming to the _thing_?" You asked as you and Winter walked down the street

 

Children were screaming and running with little plastic flags and sparklers. There seemed to be a firework shop on every corner and almost everyone was wearing something blue, red or white. You weren't any different either. You had blue jeans on and a tank top that had red and white stripes and a small bag on your back. Winter was wearing a full sleeves blue shirt with a red star on his left bicep and a black glove on his left hand. 

 

"Brock, Дядя, some other friends and Дядя's family," Winter shrugged as he held your hand and your heart dropped, "What's wrong?"

 

"Nothing," You lied instantly, "It'll just be weird, you know? I know Mr Rumlow as my counsellor," 

 

Winter laughed loudly and pulled you closer, "Still can't get over that you have to call him that," 

 

"I'm  _supposed_  to call him that!" You protested, "Besides, it'll be so weird to call him  _Brock_ ," 

 

"I think you and him will get along just fine, doll," Winter winked at you and guilt was starting to make its home inside your heart 

 

You broke apart from his touch so you wouldn't let him feel your emotions accidentally and quickly made your way to a crowded firework kiosk for sparklers. You paid for it before Winter could reach for his wallet and huffed when you wouldn't let him pay. 

 

"Really ain't the right way, sweetheart," He groaned as you kept the small packet in your bag 

 

"I've got money and I'd like to spend it," You rolled your eyes, "And you're always paying for everything else," You pulled him to the side and into an alley, "So, I was out yesterday and I decided to get something for you," 

 

"You really didn't have to," His voice dropped to a whisper but you pulled him close and kissed him deeply

 

"I wanted to," You spoke against his lips and his smile made you giggle

 

You pulled out a brown box from your bag and handed it to him. Winter looked up at you one more time before he finally opened the box but his expressions became unreadable. He was filled with a sense of...  _anger? No, it's not anger, it's hope? It's not hope. What is it?_  You couldn't pinpoint what he was feeling. 

 

"Don't you like it?" Your voice was shaky, "It's vintage. The guy at the shop told me that it's a military watch from the 40s," You explained quickly, "He said that someone probably wore it during the Second World War,"

 

"Re-really?" He cleared his throat as you tried to read him but he just seemed so _distant_

 

"Yeah," You covered his hands with yours, "You alright?" 

 

"Yeah, no, I'm okay," He smiled, "I just- I don't know- I thought I-" His eyes focused on the watch, "Did they ever say who was the owner?" 

 

"Someone something _Howlet_ ," You shrugged, "They're probably super old now," You caressed his cheek, making him look at you, "You sure you alright?" 

 

Winter didn't bother answering but he pocketed the box and pushed you against the wall and a giggled bubbled up inside your chest but before it could escape you, his lips were against yours and your arms were around his shoulders, bracing yourself so you wouldn't lose your balance. His nibbled your lip as his arm wrapped around your waist and he pulled you closer than possible. 

 

It could've gone on longer if a kid hadn't screamed, "Ew!!" And called for his mother. 

 

"Sorry," He kissed your cheek and you pulled him in for another soft kiss

 

"Don't be," You scrunched up your nose

 

"I can't," Winter gushed as he hugged you tightly and you two emerged back onto the crowded street, "I just can't keep my hands off of you," 

 

"I'm not complaining either," You kissed his cheek and you two walked on

 

* * *

 

"Do we have eyes on the target and the asset?" Pierce asked through the comms

 

"We lost them for a while," A voice came, "The target had dragged the asset into an alleyway," A silence fell and the Officer answer, "It- it seemed- ahem- they were being affectionate in the alleyway," 

 

"Keep eyes on them," Pierce scoffed, "No matter what they're up to," 

 

* * *

 

"So, what are we watching?" You stood in line for popcorn in the theatre with Winter

 

"There's this new movie that opened today," He explained, "Aliens attackin' the States and all," 

 

"Oh, I saw the posters the other day! I was  _literally_  thinking about asking about watching it with you!" You squealed with delight, "But I didn't know if you'd be into those kinds of movies or not," 

 

"Doll, I'd be into whatever you ask me to be," Winter stated casually and you burst out laughing 

 

"God, you're so cheesy," You roared with laughter and the line moves forward slowly 

 

You couldn't pinpoint it but there was just something  _off_  about Winter since he saw the watch.  _Maybe he didn't like it?_  You asked yourself but you realized that you would've been able to pick up disinterest from him but all you were getting was  _lostness_.

 

"Winter," You tucked his hair behind his ear, "You really sure you alright?" 

 

"What's going on, doll?" He huffed and you frowned

 

"I can  _feel_  that you're not okay," You told him honestly, "You can tell me if you didn't like it. I can get it exchanged or something," 

 

"I just-" He took a deep breath, "You're really somethin', sweetheart," You smiled and held his left hand in yours, his gloved fingers curled into yours and he gave you a crooked smile, "I don't know, I just thought I'd seen it someplace before," 

 

"The watch?" You asked just to make sure and he nodded, "Well, it was a big thing a while back so you probably saw it everywhere!"

 

"And that name," Winter frowned, "Howlet. It just... sounds so  _familiar_ ,"

 

"Like- like something right at the back of your head but you can't reach it?" You asked and nodded again 

 

Winter began to say something but the line had faded and you two were next. Winter paid for popcorns and drinks.

 

* * *

 

"What were they talking about?" Pierce was growing anxious 

 

Everywhere was crowded and it was difficult to keep eyes and ears on you two while being discreet as well.

 

"Sir, it was difficult to hear," The Officer answered, "There's a lot of noise around the target and the asset," 

 

* * *

 

You and Winter got comfortable and the movie began. 

 

* * *

 

"Do you think that aliens are actually a thing?" The Officer asked Pierce

 

"Why is that relevant?" Pierce scoffed but couldn't do much as the Officer was his eyes and ears to Winter and you 

 

"I don't know," The Officer sighed, "Seems like a likely thing. Considering everything we've seen and done. Aliens doesn't seem so  _far-fetched_ ,"

 

"Focus on the mission at hand," Pierce reminded him but only a soft chuckle came through the comms 

 

* * *

 

Your head rested on Winter's shoulder and your fingers intertwined with his. The movie played on as prepared to Bill Pullman give his speech and you realized that you wouldn't mind doing this forever. You shook yourself and sat properly and Winter cocked a brow as he looked at you. 

 

_It's too soon_ , You reminded yourself but was it really?  

 

Winter looked at you but you were already looking at him. He jerked his head to ask if you were okay and you smiled as you nodded and leaned closer. 

 

"Winter-," You began, "I think I'm-,"

 

_We will not go quietly into the night!_  Cheers erupted in the theatre and you pulled away from Winter and focused back on the screen. He put his arm around you and you inhaled deeply, he always smelled of apple and cinnamon and  _god_ , you adored him so much. 

 

* * *

 

"That was a really great movie," You stated as the two of you walked out

 

"I hope they don't make a half-assed sequel though," Winter rolled his eyes, "That shit would be messy," 

 

"Be positive! It would only be a mess if Will Smith isn't in it," You laughed, "No need to be so gru-,"

 

You couldn't finish your sentence because a man almost a foot taller than Winter had bumped into you, spilling his soda all over your clothes.

 

"Fuckin' watch it, bitch," He growled but within a second, Winter was in front of you with his left arm across your chest, pushing you back protectively

 

"You gonna apologize to my girl, buddy?" Winter smiled but the man grunted

 

"Teach her how to walk, you fuckin' pansy," He rolled his eyes and tried to walk away but Winter shoved him with his right hand and you were shocked to see that the large man actually stumbled

 

"I ain't gonna be askin' again, buddy," Winter said in an incredibly cheerful manner that sent chills down your spine

 

"Winter, really, it's okay," You tried to tug him along but it was as if he was glued to the ground

 

"Nah, baby," Winter smiled at you, "This  _nice_  man is gonna say that he's sorry," 

 

"I don't think who th-," The man began but within moments, Winter had twisted the man's arm behind his back and pushed him to the floor. 

 

You gasped loudly but before anyone could notice, you cast a shadow illusion and just  _prayed_  that it stuck.

 

* * *

 

"What's going on?" Pierce asked

 

"The asset and the target seem to be having a conversation with a man," The Officer explained, "A large man spilt his soda over the target and now he seems- yes, he's apologizing to the target,"

 

* * *

 

"Winter!" You squealed, "It's alright! We need to leave!"

 

"You know, usually, security is here much quicker," Winter placed his knee on the back of the man to keep him in place as he struggled, "But they're takin' really fuckin' long!"

 

"They can't see us!" You whispered harshly, "Let him go," You tried to pull him up but he wouldn't budge and that's when something clicked in your head and your body pushed a feeling of  _compliance_  into Winter and he let go

 

"Doll?" He looked down at his hands as he found himself standing up

 

"We're going back to the dorms," You almost glowed with anger as your drenched shirt clung to your skin

 

"Yes, ma'am," He swallowed and followed you as you took long strides 

 

* * *

 

"Locate the target and the asset!" The Officer shouted over the comms as when you walked away, your illusion disappeared but by then you and Winter were already out of the building and the man was lying on the floor unconscious 

 

* * *

 

"What the fuck?!" You growled as soon as you entered the crowded sidewalk, "Someone could've seen us! You've really got that much of a temper problem?"

 

"Your outfit is a mess!" Winter argued, "He owed you an apology!"

 

"The world doesn't owe me  _anything_ ," You whispered harshly, "You might've been a pampered brat that got everything but that's not how the real world works!" 

 

You tried to walk on but Winter tugged you back by your forearm and venom laced your veins.  _Brock was right about his temper_. Your remembered Rumlow's words.

 

"Let. Go." Your voice was barely audible and he was  _almost_  scared of your anger

 

"Talk to m-," He couldn't complete his sentence because snakes crawled out of your sleeve and crept up his jacket, wrapping themselves around his wrist, "I know it's not real," He stated with determination

 

"It'll  _feel_  real when they bite you and venom burns through your blood. Let go of me," You pulled out of his grip and the snakes disappeared

 

"Where are you going?" He called out from behind and you groaned loudly with frustration

 

_He was only trying to defend your honour!_  You argued with yourself _, What the fuck? We're not in 1940!_  You turned and saw his extremely apologetic face and rolled your eyes

 

"I'm going back to the dorms to change," You sighed, "Do you want to come with?" 

 

He nodded furiously and jogged towards you with a puppy look in his eyes and a lopsided smile.

 

"I'm sorry," He looked down, "I didn't think you'd be mad- I just- I got angry-,"

 

"Br- Mr Rumlow told me you had a bit of a temper issue," You bit the inside of your cheek, "I just- I get that your heart was in the right place but you can't- you can't just  _make_  people do shit that they don't want to," 

 

"I know but you were soaked," He gestured to your drenched clothes

 

"Yeah but not the point," You shook your head, "You need to not lose your head, alright?" 

 

"I'll do better," He promised, "I'll be better," He kissed your cheek and you held his hand as you two walked back to your college

 

* * *

 

"What the fuck happened?" Pierce was furious

 

"The target had cast an illusion because the asset had gotten into an argument with the man that had spilt the sofa on the target," The Officer explained, "She probably did it so no one would notice the fight,"

 

"Where are they now?" Pierce asked as he pinched the bridge of his nose

 

"They're going back to the dorms," The Officer told Pierce, "The target needs to change clothes," 

 

* * *

 

"So, what else did Brock tell you about me?" Winter finally brought up the inevitable topic as you stepped into the shower

 

"I'm a little busy!" You shouted back but all you heard was a soft chuckle

 

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" He whined and you laughed as you took a quick bath and washed off the stickiness of the soda

 

"Make your useful and pick out some clothes for tonight!" You offered and heard the closet doors be opened

 

You quickly made sure that you were clean and wrapped the towel around yourself tightly. You looked in the mirror and weighed your options if you should step outside in your towel or just ask for the clothes? 

 

_I really do like him_ , You reminded yourself,  _He'll see me naked eventually, so, this is like, baby steps, right?_  You weren't sure, to be honest

 

"How long, doll?" Winter called out

 

"Give me a minute!" You shouted and decided to take a leap of faith

 

You stepped out in your towel and saw Winter sitting on the bed with a pair of jean shorts, a tank top and a loose button-down check shirt in his lap. 

 

"So, what you got for me?" You made your way to him and stood between his knees as you examined the clothes

 

You could  _feel_  Winter's arousal in the air. You didn't need to be a mutant to feel it, honestly. The way his eyes were making their up your legs that still had droplets of water on them to the slight twitch in his lips when you came out of the bathroom. 

 

"Cat got your tongue?" You laughed loudly but half of your laughter was trapped in your throat because Winter had pulled you into his lap and wrapped his arms around your waist, keeping the towel in place

 

"You know, you're a fuckin'  _tease_ ," He whispered and you smirked devilishly because you  _knew_  it too, "Siren," 

 

"I like that name," Your breath ghosted over his lips and your veins almost filled with Winter lust for your

 

The hair on the back of your neck stood on its ends as Winter's lips broke into a smile. 

 

"You like that, doll?" He asked huskily and you felt him harden beneath you, " _You're a Siren_ , sweetheart. The songs, the looks, the way you do things, everything about you," His fingertips traced down your neck and over your collarbones, "You're dangerous, doll," 

 

You swallowed and that was the only signal Winter needed. His lips came crashing against yours and you held onto him for dear life. It wasn't careful or soft like all the times before, no, it was rough and demanding and  _god,_  you loved it. He nibbled your lip and you bit him in return. Winter could taste the copper in the kiss but it didn't matter because you were in his arms and you were alone and you were  _comfortable_. 

 

His lips trailed down your neck and you moaned his name like a forgotten prayer. Your towel still hadn't moved and he was nibbled and licking right above it. You could feel the marks forming. You knew that tiny little purple marks would litter your neck but at that moment, you really didn't care. Your fingers ran through his hair, undoing his bun and letting the hair fall freely. 

 

You grabbed a fistful and tugged it back, yanking his head back and a soft giggle escaped you just before Winter kissed you with every ounce of passion he had. It was a painful mix of teeth and tongue that soon turned into pleasure. You could feel him pulsing underneath you and you were hyperaware of everything. Your want and lust of him was seeping into Winter as well and he was becoming aware of your presence as well. 

 

"Things you do to me," He mumbled into the kiss and you smiled as he pulled you closer.

 

Your elbows rested on his shoulders and your tongue curled as it dragged across the roof of his mouth. When you pulled away, his lips were red and puffy and you were out of breath.

 

"You're so fuckin' beautiful," Winter smirked and you blushed as you hid your face in the crook of his neck, "Oh, now she's shy," He laughed loudly as he placed soft kisses on your shoulder and neck, "I swear, Y/N, the things you do to me,"

 

"I don't know what you're talking about," You giggled but didn't meet his eyes

 

"Baby, you're naked in my lap, makin' me  _painfully_  hard and sitting in nothin' but a towel," He made you look at him and your face was burning with embarrassment, "Trust me, sweetheart, you do a lot of things to me," 

 

"This really isn't like me," You smiled, "You just- you distract me," 

 

"Good," He nodded, "I'll distract you all the time if you'd let me,"

 

"God, you're being cheesy again!" You laughed melodically and got up from his lap

 

"Can I get a peek?" He wiggled his brows and you gasped loudly 

 

"You wish!" You stuck your tongue out and ran off to the bathroom to change into the clothes Winter had picked out

 

* * *

 

"Progress?" Pierce was starting to get on the Officer's nerves

 

"Sir, they're just foolin' around," The Officer sighed, "The target went to change and they should be heading on towards you soon,"

 

"Tell Crossbones to make the arrangements with the agents that will be in attendance," Pierce ignored the Officer's sarcastic tone, "And make sure that the tempered food is kept separate from the rest,"

 

"I thought it wouldn't be a big deal if anyone else had some?" The Officer mocked Pierce

 

"Do as you're told,  _boy_ ," Pierce seethed as he had enough but he only heard a soft chuckle from the other side and disconnected the comms 

 

Pierce sat in his office in complete silence, thinking about how was he to go over everything. He had to be careful, he had to be so careful. You were an exceptional mutant and growing stronger every single day. He wanted to harness it. 

 

He looked down at a file with your name on it with Siren Initiative written in massive bold letters. He wanted to harness your DNA and breed a new line of assassins for HYDRA. Illusions could help them hide in plain sight and even without extensive training, they could be unstoppable. A soft smile crept up on Pierce's lips, he wasn't going to fail, you were going to be his magnum opus. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got carried away and i'm not sorry and this is literally just HALF the 4th of july 1996 and i hope you got the tiny easter eggs with the watch!! any idea WHO the officer issss???  
> damn details
> 
> i'm finicky but y'all deserve it 
> 
> i'm emotional and just idk   
> have a good weekend, ok? have a really really good weekend, go out with your friends, go out on a date, call you mom, or text your best friend, just talk to someone and be heard and be listened to or listened to someone or hear someone  
> it's important, you never know who's going through what


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to one of my friends on tumblr for helping me write the rumlow winter scene because i'm bad with conflict and aayyyy we're finally gettin' it onnn in this onnneee!!!

"You sure about this?" You asked Winter again as you took a deep breath

 

"Don't worry, doll," He kissed the side of your head, "Everyone'll love you,"

 

"How can you be so sure?" You rolled your eyes 

 

"Because I already do," Winter winked at you and your heart  _dropped_

"What? Winter, what di-," You were baffled completely and it caught you entirely off guard

 

The door swung open to a massive Victorian styled three-story mansion and Alexander stood at it.

 

"Y/N!" Alexander greeted you warmly, "I'm so glad you could make it!" You smiled and he shook your hand as you handed him a bottle of wine that you had brought for Alex, "Come in, come in! Oh, there was no need for this but thank you anyway! Winter, don't forget to wipe your shoes on the mat," 

 

You laughed at the odd interaction of the two but you were hit in the gut when you entered the stunning house. One raw emotion pumped through the entire home,  _disgust_. You automatically held onto Winter's hand and he squeezed it softly, assuring you that everything would be fine. 

 

The sun was low and there was a soft light in the backyard where everything had been set up. It was an interesting gathering of people, no doubt. You saw women that were exceptionally beautiful and men who were well built yet somehow just as easily melting into the crowd. There was something  _strange_  about everything but you just couldn't put your finger on it. 

 

Everyone met Winter and he seemed to know everyone as well. He kept introducing you to everyone but it just escaped your attention because he was smiling so brightly and holding onto your hand so tightly that everything was just background noise.

 

"How does Alex know so many people?" You asked in hushed tones as three men stood by the grill and a stunning woman offered you two drinks

 

"Mostly from work," Winter shrugged, "It's okay, I don't see them a lot either," 

 

"What does he do anyway?" You nudged him as you felt an unease gnawing in your gut 

 

"Oh, Дядя is in stocks," He explained, "He's real smart when it comes to it. Always makes quick decisions," 

 

 _God, what is that,_  You wanted to throw up because of the emotions that were beginning to flood your system. You felt a strange sensation and you frowned visibly

 

"Where's the bathroom?" You looked around and out of nowhere a woman popped up in front of you

 

"It's inside. Up the stairs, first door to your left," She said with a wide smile but the unease wasn't washing off and it was beginning to seep into your bones

 

You nodded a thank you and walked into the house. It was a stunning home, no doubt. Antiques, classy furniture, textured walls. It made Winter's apartment seem mediocre. You found the lavish bathroom easily and even that was a whole room in itself. 

 

You paced for a while and tried to ease yourself. 

 

"What's going on with you?" You scolded yourself as you stared in the mirror

 

* * *

 

"Where's the target?" Pierce looked around and an agent informed him that you'd gone to the bathroom, "Crossbones isn't here yet?" 

 

"Nope," The Officer sighed, "Where is the little lady? I'd like to officially meet her," 

 

"You weren't even invited today," Pierce glared at him 

 

"Oh, come on now," The Officer laughed, "You know I just couldn't  _resist_. She's a pretty girl and a magnificent mutant. I still can't get over the fact that you're letting that  _savage_  take her first," 

 

"You wish she would have an ounce of interest in you," Pierce spat but the Officer just smiled

 

"Oh, you'll see, Alex," The Officer winked, "Don't forget, I'm not your little puppet. I get to leave whenever I please, so, don't treat me like your other agents or even your precious Winter Soldier. You need my assistance to keep this project in check and make it a success," 

 

"I didn't ask for you," Pierce growled lowly and everyone was beginning to notice what was going on 

 

"You didn't but the higher-ups don't want you to fuck this up," The Officer shrugged, "My  _actual_ _employer_  wants this to work out and so, I'm here to make sure of that," 

 

* * *

 

You took a deep breath and let it out. You shook off the feeling of unease but it was slowly being replaced with a feeling of  _anticipation_  and you assumed that it was just everyone getting ready for the fireworks.

 

You were wrong. 

 

"Mr Rumlow," You gasped as Brock stood in the doorway as you opened the bathroom door

 

"Y/N," Brock smiled softly and you swallowed in an obvious manner

 

"I need to-," You began but Rumlow walked up to you and you stepped back, giving him just enough leverage to walk into the bathroom and close the door behind himself

 

"Haven't seen you in a while," His back was against the door and your heart was pounding in your ribcage

 

"I- I need- Uh," You couldn't form a coherent sentence together, "Ye- yeah- But I've been here a while," 

 

"I know," He nodded, "I was waiting for you outside," 

 

"W- Why?" Your breathing was slightly shallow 

 

"Did you tell Winter?" He walked closer to you until your lower back hit the sink, "About our little  _moment_?" A fingertip ghosted over your shoulder and trailed down your bicep 

 

"Judging by those little marks," Rumlow chuckled softly as his finger ghosted over your collarbone, "I don't think you did," 

 

"It- It was a- a mis- mistake," You finally blurted out 

 

"Was it really?" He asked darkly and you could feel the aggressive undertones of him and for some godforsaken reason, it was sending sensations directly to your core

 

"I sh- I need to-," You tried to leave but he hands tightened around the basin, trapping you between himself and the sink

 

"I'm sure they can wait a little longer," Brock smiled softly and you were desperately wishing for Winter to find you because you terrified and weirdly aroused by the man in front of you

 

* * *

 

"Has anyone seen Y/N?" Winter looked around but none of the agents bothered answering him, so, he wandered off to Pierce

 

"Дядя," Winter called out to Pierce whose veins were filled with loathing for Winter but he still had an act to sell

 

"What is it?" Pierce snapped and the Officer just smiled softly 

 

"I haven't seen Y/N anywhere," Winter explained

 

"She went to the bathroom," Pierce waved him off

 

"20 minutes ago," The Officer looked down at his watch and cocked a brow for Pierce to catch on

 

"Go check on her," Pierce resigned and the Officer smiled with satisfaction 

 

* * *

 

"Mr Rumlow," You finally gather courage and transformed the aggression that he was radiating into confidence for yourself, "This is highly inappropriate," 

 

"That's not what you said the other day," He laughed darkly and he breath felt warm against your skin

 

"I- I wa- I was caught off guard," You confessed, "Please, I really-,"

 

"Really what, sweetheart?" His face was barely centimetres from yours, "And I told you to call me Brock when it's  _just us_ ," 

 

"Please," You almost begged, "I  _really_  need to go," You wanted to cry but also you didn't want to make a scene and ruin the party 

 

"You don't have to go anywhere," Brock's lips came crashing against yours and you tried to push him off this time

 

It wasn't a surprise, it wasn't wanted, it was disgusting and you wanted him gone. His tongue forced its way into your mouth and he tasted bitter and warm. You struggled but he was stronger than you and so, there was nothing you do about it. However, everything just  _stopped_  when the door opened in a painfully slow manner and Winter stood with his eyes wide open and you were engulfed with the feeling of pure and undeterred rage. 

 

"Winter!" You gasped with relief, "It's not-," 

 

"Look who finally came to fuckin' play," Rumlow laughed and turned towards Winter

 

"Go downstairs," Winter didn't look at you and your guilt was probably consuming both of them 

 

"Winter," Your voice was hushed as you tried to walk towards him but Rumlow held your wrist tightly

 

"What the fuck are you doing, Brock?" Winter said softly 

 

"Y/N and I were havin' a moment. Until you rudely interrupted us," Rumlow cooed as you tried to twist your arm out of his grip 

 

* * *

 

"What's taking them so long?" Pierce was beginning to get annoyed, "Someone, go check up on them," 

 

* * *

 

"I'm not going to ask again," Winter was seething and your stomach was twisting with anger because of him

 

"Brock,  _please_ ," Your eyes were foggy with tears

 

"Hey, what's taking you guys so long? We're about to start the fireworks," A girl showed up at the door and you sucked a breath in 

 

You cast an illusion which projected you standing with Winter's arm around your waist and Rumlow talking to the two of you about something. 

 

"We'll be down in a little while," Your illusion said brightly and she didn't notice your wrist turning blue under Rumlow's touch or the staring match between him and Winter. 

 

The boys didn't see the girl come either but it was the first time you cast a double illusion and suddenly your body felt drained and light headed. 

 

"Winter," You true self almost sobbed

 

The girl left and your heart was drumming so loudly that no other noise was really coming through to you. Your eyes flicked from the door to Winter and then to Rumlow. Your fingers were almost numb because of how tight Brock's grip was. 

 

"Let. Her. Go," Winter growled as he strutted closer slowly 

 

"I really don't think so," Brock shrugged and you didn't want to expose yourself to him

 

It happened so fast that even you never saw it coming. Winter's fist collided with Rumlow's jaw and he let go of your wrist. You were already trying to twist out of his grip and the sudden lack of force made you topple over and land on your ass on the floor. 

 

"Winter!" You shouted, "We're leaving! Now,"

 

You stood up on shaky legs and wedged yourself between Winter and Rumlow. Brock chuckled as he wiped the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.

 

"You better listen to her," Rumlow smiled, "Don't make me put you down," 

 

"I'm requesting a change for a counsellor," You glared at him, "Touch me again and I will cut off your fingers," 

 

"We'll see about that, pretty face," Rumlow laughed loudly and you tugged on Winter's jacket as you pulled him out of the bathroom

 

You took deep breaths and made your wrist look normal again but you  _knew_  the pain was there and it was throbbing. Winter wasn't just angry, he was hurt and worried and it was flooding your senses. You were exhausted and you desperately needed to lie down but you needed to keep up appearances as well.

 

As soon as you and Winter got to the bottom of the staircase, Alexander showed up.

 

"You two have been gone for ages!" Alex laughed, "Got lost up there huh?" 

 

You tucked your hair behind your ear and smiled, "Oh, umm, you know, we just- I hope you-," You made Alex see your cheeks go red and he laughed loudly

 

"Ah, young love," Alex smiled proudly, "It's a beautiful thing," 

 

Winter's shoulders were absolutely rigid and you held his hand maybe a little too tightly for your own good. Alex told you two that the fireworks were about to begin and led you outside. 

 

"Winter?" You tried to get him to speak but his expression couldn't be read and his emotions were haywire 

 

The sky lit up with all sorts of colours and it all reflected beautifully against Winter's eyes because you couldn't tear away from them but he wasn't looking at you. He wasn't looking at anyone or anything. 

 

A man in a stunning navy blue suit came and stood next to you.

 

"Beautiful, isn't it?" He asked you softly 

 

"Of course," You said politely, "Fireworks are always beautiful," 

 

"Much like you then," He laughed and you blushed under his gaze

 

"I'm sorry, I don't think we met when Alex was introducing me to everyone," Your brows furrowed as you tried to remember the man's name

 

"Why, I apologize," He nodded, "I'm-,"

 

"Y/N!" Alex appeared out of nowhere, "Are you enjoying yourself?"

 

"Yes, thank you so much for inviting me," You smiled widely

 

"Would you like some strawberries?" The man asked you and you ate a few because you didn't want to be rude as Alex talked to you with animated gestures 

 

A few more minutes passed and the gunpowder clung to your clothes and hair like an old friend. You saw that a few people were leaving, so, you took that as you cue as well. 

 

"We should go home, Winter," You offered but Winter only grunted in return 

 

It was awkward, to say the least as you offered you wishes to Alex and the strange man that had greeted you but you still couldn't remember his name. Unbeknownst to you, he never gave his name. 

 

* * *

 

"How long until the chemicals kick in?" Pierce asked the Officer

 

"An hour or so," The Officer shrugged, "It's slow acting so it feels natural," 

 

"Why did even  _try_  to speak to her?" Pierce was fuming, "An agent was supposed to offer her those and that was it. You weren't even supposed to be there!"

 

"Like I've previously stated," The Officer sighed, "You're on your way up in HYDRA but my  _actual_  employer wants to make sure that it's a right choice for the whole... organization," 

 

"I've given my life to this cause!" Pierce spat but the Officer just laughed mockingly

 

"You think you've done a lot for us?" The Officer asked, "You think you've done us a favour? You did your duty and you never went above and beyond. You get no special treatment,"

 

"The Siren Initiative is me going above and beyond my  _designated_  duties," Pierce was almost shaking with anger

 

"Only if it succeeds," The Officer smiled, "We'll be in touch," 

 

* * *

 

The car ride from Alex's to Winter's was quiet. He wasn't speaking and you didn't want to leave him alone. You were also very unsure about the whole music programme now because if Rumlow was the only counsellor then you were very seriously contemplating dropping out.

 

You didn't dare to say a single word and Winter's breathing was somewhat shallow. There was an itch under your skin that you couldn't identify, so you chose to ignore it. The sound of your footsteps echoed in the lobby and the corridors, up until Winter closed the door to this apartment with a soft click. You took a deep breath and turned to face him. He wasn't looking at you, he was avoiding your gaze as he slowly took off his jacket and glove.

 

"What happened?" You found your voice but he said nothing in return, "I'm talking to you! You can't just  _ignore_  me,"

 

"He put his hands on you," Winter's voice was a rumble of words that tripped over each other and his eyes flicked over the bruise on your wrist that you were no longer hiding

 

"So what?" You almost shouted, "You can't fuckin' hit people for everything!" 

 

"He put his hands on you, Y/N!" He matched your volume, "He touched you when you didn't want to be touched!" 

 

"You fought  _two_  people today. Two. In a single day. You've got temper issues and don't tell me otherwise," You wrapped your arms around your torso, "Is that how it is? One day I'll piss you off and I'll be the one on the other end of your fist?" 

 

"Doll, I would never-," His eyes showed fear and worry, you could feel it too

 

"You're saying that now," You looked away, "And so what? So what he put his hands on me? You really think it was the first time anyone did so? You think I've never been touched when I didn't want to be touched? You think I've never been felt up in a crowded room? You think I've had the luxury of never being assaulted?!" 

 

"Y/N-," He began but you were shaking with fury 

 

"No. Just- Don't," You pinched the bridge of your nose, "I'm exhausted and honestly, I'm terrified of you," 

 

Your skin crawled with anxiety but you pushed it aside again, focusing on the man in front of you. His hair framed his face perfectly and his eyes, god his eyes were shining, like always. He stood in a tight shirt and his muscles were so visible in the...  _Wait, what? I'm mad at him!!_ You scolded yourself but you couldn't help but feel your body growing warmer 

 

"I'm sorry," Winter whispered softly as he walked up to you, "I got- I got so angry and he- I can't believe he would ever- that he did-," 

 

"No more fights, please," You tried to reason, "I can take care of myself and I would've taken care of myself if the situation had gotten out of hand," 

 

He caressed your cheek and suddenly your lungs were filled with his scent. The itch under your skin was beginning to become unbearable. Your eyes met his and maybe he saw the unease in yours.

 

"I won't anymore," He assured you, "Unless you tell me to," He tried to joke but your head was swimming with his scent and your skin was unbearably hot

 

There were an uncontrollable itch and  _god, was he always this beautiful?_  You didn't have a straight answer because you weren't thinking straight yourself. His lips parted to say something but you were already against him. Your lips against his like if you didn't kiss him at this moment then everything would perish and nothing would ever be the same. Your veins were almost pumping need and want and lust for Winter and you did nothing to hide it. 

 

Winter's hands fell to your waist as you pushed him until his back hit the door he'd just closed. He tasted like mint.  _He always tasted like mint_. You bit his lip and his fingers dug into your backside. It was a frenzy but you just needed him so badly. Your nails left red angry marks on his neck and you broke apart for only the moment when you pulled off his shirt.

 

"Too many clothes," You gasped as you kissed him again and your body flushed against his

 

The metal of his arm was cool but his chest was far too warm to be normal. Winter's hands pulled you up and you wrapped your legs around him to get  _some_  sort of friction. Your body was burning for him.

 

"Are you sure?" His breath was shallow and you nodded furiously

 

" _Please_ ," You almost begged, surprising even yourself, "I want you, all of you,"

 

"Y/N-," He began but you swallowed his words and a moan escaped your throat 

 

Your arms snaked around his neck as you pulled him closer and your ankles locked behind his back tightly because for some reason it just felt like he would disappear if you let go. You kept mumbling a plea as you kissed him hard. You could taste copper on his lips, maybe you were being a little too aggressive but he didn't mind so you didn't stop. Winter set you down on the counter and you finally pulled away to breathe. His lips were pink and your lipstick colour was smudged everywhere. There were light marks on his neck, dragging down to his chest and he  _finally_  really looked at you.

 

"Tell me you want this, baby," He asked you huskily, "Tell me you're sure," 

 

"I want this," You nodded as your chest rose and fell with each breath, "I've never been more sure," 

 

Winter kissed you with a seething passion and your hands fell to his belt buckle. It took a few moments of fidgeting and then the buttons popped open to reveal his black boxers. He kissed you again as he picked you up and you noticed that he was leading you to the bedroom. 

 

"We'll take this slow, baby," His lips left open-mouthed kisses and a trail of hickeys until your shirt came in the way

 

He dropped you into the softness of the mattress and you quickly pulled off your shirt and bra as he kicked off his shoes. You were surprised as to how fast Winter moved and the next thing you knew was that his fingers were hooked at the waistband of your jeans. 

 

" _Please, please, please_ ," A string of pleas left your lips and you felt the cold air hit your core; that's when you realized how soaked you were for him

 

"You're so wet, baby," He cooed, "All for me, doll?" You didn't have a response, you pulled him harshly by his hair that he hissed in pain and kissed him hard. Your teeth clanked together and you tried to get  _some sort of friction_  was rubbed yourself against his torso.

 

Winter bit and nipped your skin as he teased your nipples, making you arch into his touch. His tongue swirled around the other bud as he kneaded the breasts and your moans filled the room. The cool metal hand was holding you by your hipbone, keeping you in place, making you sure that you didn't move and his tight grip was just  _almost_  painful, but only almost. 

 

"Winter-" You groaned, " _Please_ ," You begged because you  _needed_  something and he began to move down slowly, licking and kissing your stomach and inner thighs. Touching you everywhere except where you wanted him most and he was playing, you knew he was playing but you were aching for him and you needed him.

 

"For fuck's sake, Winter!" You shouted and you felt a thick lick at your core which made you dissolve into a heavy moan that truly sounded like it was something out of a porno. 

 

Winter's tongue was warm and thick against your core. He propped your legs over his shoulders and your hands tugged on his hair, pulling him deeper as you squeezed your thighs against his head.  _God_ , You just kept mumbling his name like a prayer and his stubble gave you just the right amount of burn. Your body was beginning to shiver and when the cool metal touched your sensitive bundle of nerves, the coil that was so tight in you abdomen snapped and you came undone. 

 

A white wave of ecstasy washed over you as you rode out your high against Winter's face while his tongue kept working you until your body stopped shaking. 

 

As soon as you regained your senses, you felt like you still weren't done. You wanted more of him. 

 

"Winter," You whined, "I need you,  _please_ ," 

 

Before he could say anything, you pulled him up by his hair and tasted yourself on his lips. He was tart and sweet but still  _minty_  and you wanted him more than ever. 

 

"Condom," Winter reminded you and fumbled to the drawers next to the bed as your hand slipped into his boxers

 

He was big, you weren't surprised and you just couldn't  _wait_  to get feel him inside yourself. He was bent over you and your thumb caressed over the tip, smearing the bead of precum that had gathered on top. 

 

"Keep doin' that and I won't last that long," Winter chuckled softly and you pulled down his boxers 

 

"Babe, are you-," He was about you ask if you knew what you were doing as he stood on his knees but when your tongue dragged across his length, his words got lost in his throat

 

"I'm a virgin," You giggled, "But I wasn't born yesterday," 

 

You pumped him in an agonizingly slow way, taking him in your mouth, inch by inch, sucking him until he pulled you off of himself.

 

"I ain't finishin' in your mouth, doll," Winter kissed you again and rolled you over so you sat on his stomach

 

His hands went behind you and he rolled on the condom onto his length and encouraged you to go on.

 

"Nice and easy, sweetheart," He whispered and your heart dropped for a moment but your entire body was begging for him 

 

You nodded and stood on your knees as Winter moved up enough so he was sitting as well with his back against the bedhead and you right in front of him. You slowly sunk down on him and braced yourself on his shoulders. Your eyes screwed shut and you didn't dare to look at him.  _It stung_  and it hurt and it felt like his size was going to tear you into two. You took him in completely and waited, waited for something to change. 

 

"Nice and easy, doll," Winter reminded you and you nodded with your eyes tightly shut, "Look at me, baby," 

 

"H-hurts," You stuttered out because there was no use in lying 

 

"Wait a while," He whispered and you nodded again

 

True to his word, slowly, the pain started to disappear and in its place, pulsing pleasure ran its course. Your hips rolled ever so slightly and a smirk appeared on Winter's lips. He kissed you harshly and the next thing you knew was that you were under him and he was moving at a slow pace. It set your core on fire but you wanted him to keep going and you begged for him to go faster and deeper and so, he did. 

 

His right arm held you down and his metal arm ran circles over you sensitive bud, making another wave of white washed over you almost instantly. Winter kept his pace steady and you threw your head back in blissful pleasure. Everything felt so good. Winter's emotions were seeping into you and yours were almost  _echoing_  in the room and seeping into him. 

 

Winter's pace became unforgiving and your nails dug into his shoulders, leaving fresh crescent marks of blood on his flesh. Skin slapping against skin filled the air along with your moans and Winter's grunts. You came again and your legs went numb as your entire body felt like jelly. He pulled out of you and the cold air hit your core. In a frenzy, he ripped off the condom and your mouth latched onto his member, pumping his base and letting him finish in your mouth without a second thought. 

 

Streaks of hot liquid hit the back of your throat and you swallowed him clean. Licking him until he came undone right before your eyes. You fell back into bed and he fell next to you, making the mattress bounce slightly. The room smelled like sex and your eyes were glassy and out of focus. 

 

"Fuck, doll," He smiled as he kissed you lazily and pulled you close to himself, "That's a mouth you got," 

 

You laughed in return because you didn't have the strength to use your words and you didn't really trust your voice either. Your eyes felt heavy and you dozed off. 

 

In the middle of the night, Winter cleaned you and himself and went to sleep next to you.

 

* * *

 

You woke up sore and confused to your naked state but soon, the events of the day before flooded back to you. You hopped into the bathroom and freshened up as you pulled on one of Winter's shorts and a loose shirt. When you walked out, you were surprised to see Alex there.

 

"Oh, hey," You said with a smile, "I didn't know you were coming today," 

 

"Change of plans," Alex said with a chuckle and that's when you saw Winter.

 

He was staring blankly into nothingness, there was a gun on the countertop and your heart was beginning to race. 

 

"Winter?" You said unsurely but got no response from him

 

"Don't worry, dear," Alex offered, "It's just a small procedure," 

 

The door opened and Rumlow walked in; he was sporting a bruise on his jaw, one to match on your wrist. Alex and Rumlow both looked at you and you heard Alex say something but then your world went dark. 

 

* * *

 

You woke up in Winter's bed and almost every inch of your body hurt. You rolled over to find that you were alone in bed. You slowly stood up and saw bruised littered your entire body and everything ached. You looked at your phone and saw that it was early in the morning but then you saw the date on the corner of the screen. It showed 8th of July, 1996. 

 

 _Where the fuck did the weekend go?_  Your heart raced as your truly couldn't remember anything since the night of 4th.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUNNNNN?!?!?!!? WHAT HAPPENED??????????
> 
> share your theories!!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones a little short and i'm sorry but i'm swamped at work /send help/

"Winter?" You called out as you stared at your naked frame

 

The bruises weren't handprints like you expected nor were they like the hickeys you might have gotten. It looked like you were in a fight but it was three days later and you had no recollection of those days at all. 

 

"Yeah?" Winter walked in and his worry engulfed you suddenly, "Shit, I'm so sorry, I didn't think I was so rough," 

 

"You did this?" You stared at him in the mirror and he shrugged because even he didn't know, "Listen," You turned and pulled on your clothes, somehow you weren't shy in your nakedness anymore, "What happened over the weekend?" 

 

"What do you mean?" He approached you slowly, "Are you dizzy?"

 

"No, the last thing I remember is Thursday night," You confessed, "Then waking up right now and I'm missing the days in between," 

 

"Really?" Winter cocked a brow, "No Friday and Saturday?" You shook your head, "You slipped last night in the bathroom and hit your head," You rang your fingers through your hair and felt a bump on the side of your head, "I took you to the hospital and they said that you might have a slight amnesia but you should be fine," 

 

"And the bruises?" Your voice was shaky as you looked at your arms and legs

 

"Yeah," Winter chuckled, "That's us," 

 

"Us?" You cocked a brow and he pulled you into his lap as he nodded

 

"What did you think we did all weekend?" He laughed as his breath ghosted over your skin and his hands held your waist, holding you in place

 

"I honestly don't remember, you know," You placed a soft kiss on his lips and he smiled at you

 

"We stayed in and you kept me busy with that pretty mouth of yours," Winter pointed out and your ears burned with embarrassment, "Oh, now she's shy!" 

 

"You make me shy," You mumbled into his shoulder, "Still- Doesn't explain the bruises. It looks like I got into a fight," 

 

Suddenly dread filled your soul.

 

"Winter," You pulled away from him and got off his lap, "Did we get into a fight? Don't lie to me, I'll know if you lie," 

 

"No," His eyes went wide with worry, "No, we didn't fight, I swear. You can ask the doctors and even Sasha- I called her to the hospital too- She was there too- I didn't- We didn't- Please," 

 

You could feel his worry, his honesty, his anxiety and most of all, his sadness that you would even assume such a thing. 

 

"Okay," You nodded but you eyes fell down on your arms again, "It's just weird, I guess. I turned into a minx with you," 

 

"A Siren," Winter corrected you as he kissed your knuckles, "Completely under your spell, doll," 

 

"I was thinking about something," You sat down next to him, "I don't know if I told you already but I was thinking about dropping out of the programme," 

 

"What?" His brows furrowed, "Why? Is this because of Brock? I'll deal with him if you let me. I swear. Дядя can get him sacked if you want. Don't stop studying because of one jackass,"

 

"About that," You laughed nervously and scratched your brow, "You know I already study music back home, right?" Winter nodded, "Well, I remembered that night in the alley that you lived in Seattle and my roommate in New Orleans, well, she kinda awakened my sense of adventure and suggested that I come study here to find you," 

 

"Doll, you came across the country for me?" He laughed and your blush darkened, "And I'm the cheesy one?" 

 

"Anyway," You rolled your eyes, "I found you, I  _kinda maybe sorta_  liked you and here we are," You shrugged sarcastically, "And the Brock thing, well, maybe it's a sign that I was only supposed to come find you and I did," 

 

"You sure you want to do this?" He looked at you and nodded slowly 

 

"My uncle's gonna be so mad," You chuckled under your breath, "Can I send him a picture of you?" 

 

"So he knows what I look like and he can kick my ass?" Winter cocked a brow

 

"Something like that," You kissed his cheek 

 

"Anything for you, doll," He smiled but it faltered for a moment

 

"What?" You nudged his shoulder

 

"I feel like I'm supposed to say somethin' cheesy here," He laughed and you poked him to go on, "I don't know, doll, somethin' like, I'll go with you  _till the end of the line_ ,"

 

"Oh,  _god_ ," You groaned, "That is cheesy," You got up and rummaged through your bag and took out your Polaroid camera, "Do you want to cover up or let it be?" You nodded towards his arm and he shrugged 

 

"I'm getting used to this ol' thing, you know," He smiled at you and you took a picture

 

You weren't in it and you pulled on a giant sweater of Winter's and took another picture with him so none of your marks were visible. Winter's arm went around your waist as he hid most of his gleaming arm and settled his chin on your shoulder. You smiled from ear to ear and his face was barely visible. You quickly took two pictures and one fell to the floor as the other one came out. 

 

"I still have a few in this," You smirked devilishly, "And I was some  _tasteful ones_ ," 

 

"Y/N," Winter gasped mockingly, "I'm not that kind of a man," 

 

The rest of the day was spent lazily at Winter's apartment. You took pictures of him all day and he took pictures of you until you ran out of film. You didn't go to classes and got a call from Sasha to ask if you were okay, confirming that you had slipped and fallen. The building's owner visited as well because Winter's neighbours downstairs had complained about the loud noises over the weekend. You had blushed to no end and Winter had promised to get soundproof padding installed in the bedroom.  

 

The way Monday transpired, mostly everything that Winter had told you which happened over the lost days in your mind was confirmed. 

 

It was afternoon when you decided to call Remy and Winter was in the bathroom.

 

"Bonjour," Remy answered sleepily 

 

"Hey," You breathed, "It's me. How you been? I know it's been a while but it's been a little crazy around here," 

 

"Mon amour," He almost whispered, "Gambit has missed you dearly," 

 

"You never called," You chuckled, "You at the club? Is Logan around?" 

 

"Afraid not. Logan has decided to travel for a while," He explained, "Something about trying to find an answer," 

 

"What was the question?" You couldn't help but ask 

 

"He's been around for much longer than you and Gambit could ever know, mon amour," Remy sighed, "He doesn't remember all of it but he told Gambit that he needs to find out how long it's been," 

 

"Oh," You nodded, "I understand. If he gets in touch with you, let him know to call me. Also, ahem- In other news- I, uhh, I'm dropping out,"

 

"Did something happen?" Remy's protective nature showed slightly

 

"No!" You almost shouted, "No- Well, yes- But no- Nothing bad- Okay- Well- Okay, full disclosure," You took a deep breath and explained how you met Winter in New Orleans and came to Seattle for him and now that you were with him, you didn't feel like you wanted to stay in summer school anymore

 

"Are you sure?" His voice dropped low and you hummed in response

 

Winter walked out of the bathroom and you smiled at him.

 

"I don't think I've ever been more sure of anything in my life," You breathed

 

"Who you talkin' to?" Winter swaggered towards you

 

"My cousin," You told him

 

"Gambit is your cousin, mon amour?" Remy laughed on the line, "You wound me,"

 

"Oh hush, you know I love you," You told Remy, "Anyway, I gotta go. Winter's here, so, I'll talk to you later. I'll be sending pictures soon,"

 

"Je t'aime aussi, ma plus douce," Remy said softly and hung up

 

"Pictures?" Winter cocked a brow and you nodded

 

"Yup," You said with a wide smile, "Pictures. Of you, of me, not of everything else," 

 

* * *

 

"Tell me, Alexander," The Officer sat with his finger laced together and his glasses on this bridge of his nose, "Crossbones making her feel uncomfortable, was it all planned?" 

 

"Of course, it was," Pierce lied through his teeth, "He was supposed to gain her trust then break it. It would've pushed her to drop out, which she has decided to do and that will give her more time with her," 

 

"And you will not be putting her in Cyro?" The Officer leaned over the oak table

 

"She doesn't age like the normal human does and her powers aren't polished yet. Once they are and once she has been administered the serum, she will hold the Widow's strength and Winter's brute force, along with her own mutantcy," Pierce explained painfully because he hated sharing his plans with anyone, no matter how senior

 

"I see," The Officer nodded, "I'm sure my  _employer_  would be content in hearing that you have a half decent plan,"

 

"Why can't he come down to see me himself?" Pierce growled and the Officer's face dropped 

 

"He delegates tasks. That's why I'm here," The Officer stated as the smile returned to his face, "And you'll remember well to respect him. You know he can shut down your whole program if he wants," 

 

Pierce's jaw clenched at the threat but he said nothing. The Officer loved having that power of Pierce and it was enjoyable, to say the least as well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun duunnnn  
> the reader doesn't know what happeneeddddd  
> alsooo  
> pierce is shielding rumlow :O


	19. Chapter 19

Tuesday had been a whirlwind. You had submitted your papers to drop out and then had decided that you were going to check out a few apartment buildings in the area. After all of that, you went to see Winter at work.

 

"Hello, do you have a reservation?" The staff at the front desk asked you

 

"No," You shook your head, "I just wanted to talk to Winter for a moment if that's alright?" 

 

"Of course, I'll bring him right up," He nodded and left 

 

You thought about getting some takeout because you were kinda crashing at Winter's for the time being.

 

"Hey, doll," Winter wiped his hand on his apron, "What you doin' here?" 

 

"Oh, I was just in the area," You explained, "I was looking at apartments, so I thought I come by and see you," 

 

"Why you looking at apartments for?" His brows furrowed 

 

"Because where else would I live when I move out of my dorm?" You laughed as it seemed the most obvious thing

 

"With me. Wait, do you not wanna stay with me?" He said as if it was already a done deal

 

"What?" You chuckled, "No? Wait- You're serious? Winter- Are you- What?" Your eyes widened and Winter's hand landed on the small of your back, he began to lead to into a private corner

 

"I thought you were gonna stay with me," His voice dropped low

 

"We've only been together for a very short while," You reasoned but inside, you were kind of excited to be with him every night

 

"I know," He nodded, "Doll, I know what you're sayin' but you gotta understand that you livin' someplace else doesn't make sense, right? If you're not okay with having the same bed, well, I've got extra rooms and you could be my roo-," 

 

You cut Winter off by placing a soft, chaste kiss on his lips.

 

"I don't mind sharing your bed," You whispered, "Let's talk about this when you get back?" 

 

"Go home, sweetheart," He kissed you again and handed you the key to his apartment

 

* * *

 

"Did she take the key?" Pierce looked over the cameras

 

"Yes, sir," Someone answered

 

"Perfect," Pierce nodded with satisfaction, "Prepare for phase two,"

 

* * *

 

You went back to the dorms and began to pack your things. You didn't have much, you realized because almost quarter of your stuff was already at Winter's.

 

"So, you're leavin'?" Sasha leaned against the doorframe

 

"Yeah," You chuckled, "Life's weird like that I guess,"

 

"Bullshit, girlie. You came for that boy and you got him," She laughed loudly and you smirked as well

 

"I did," You nodded, "And now it doesn't make sense to stay here," 

 

"Well, come on then," She crouched next to you, "Let's get you packed up," 

 

The next two hours were spent with you and Sasha packing everything up. It only took so long because you two commented on the pictures that you'd taken a while back. Sasha was mesmerized by the butterflies but you didn't  _feel_  her excitement. You were happy to be away from her never changing attitude.

 

When everything was sorted, you hailed a taxi and made your way to Winter's apartment. The gatekeeper made sure that all your things were sent up to the penthouse. It was almost evening when you got there. Glancing at the clock, you decided to cook something for Winter. You moved gracefully around the kitchen, surprising yourself because you had a habit of bumping into the countertop but somehow you were much less clumsy than usual. You brushed it off as just getting used to the place but something kept nagging you like you'd been in this apartment, on this furniture, around these things much longer. When you finished cooking, you turned off the heat and looked at the clock again. There was still time for Winter to come home.

 

_Home? Sounds so... different_ , You thought to yourself,  _Is home with him?_  You shook yourself from your questions

 

The apartment was massive, you slowly realized but you'd only ever been in Winter's bedroom, the kitchen and the balcony. You decided that if you were to live here, you should at least know where everything was. So, you cleaned your hands and walked around to see what was in each room. 

 

You started from the main door that opened into the lounge and kitchen. The balcony's door opened from the lounge and stretched alongside most of the apartment. You figured it would be nice to have a cookout or a little picnic sometime. You found a guest room that overlooked the city and wondered why that wasn't the master bedroom because Winter's bedroom was all walls and curtains but this one was flooding with light and you could even see the ocean from such high up. 

 

As you moved around, your phone rang and you got a call from an unknown number. 

 

"Hello?" You answered as you didn't pay much attention to the call as you walked into a massive room that was a library and also had a grand piano in the corner of it

 

"What the fuck, kid?" Logan growled from the other side, "I leave for a while and the next thing I know is that you're dropping out for some boy? What the fuck has gotten into you?" 

 

"Logan- No, that's- Okay, yes, I did come here for Winter but I just don't feel like going to school anymore," You tried to reason as you tapped the keys softly

 

"Then get your ass on a plane  _now_ ," He stated, "You're not throwing away your life for some kid you met a few months ago!"

 

"I'm not a child, Logan!" You shouted back and your voice echoed in the empty house, "Why aren't I allowed to like someone?" 

 

"Because, Y/N, you're being stupid," He sighed and you walked out of the library, "You're pushing aside your life for some guy. He'll break your heart and then what?"

 

"Then I'll cry and I'll run to you and you'll hold me close and tell me that it'll be okay!" You were almost screaming, "Look, I appreciate you looking out for me but- you can't- you can't just keep me locked away forever," You found a room that was locked

 

"Are you really sure about this guy?" Logan sighed 

 

"Yes. I really do like him and I'll come back by fall, anyway," You explained as you tried to open the locked door but there was no luck, "Let me- just let me have this. Please," 

 

"Alright, kid. But if things go tits up, you call Remy," He reminded you, "We'll see you by September. I mean it bub, you better not stay there for some guy," 

 

Before you could say anything in return, Logan hung up. You frowned at Logan's attitude for you choosing to drop out but honestly, you understood it too. If any of your friends were to drop out because of guy, you would've been angry too but Winter's wasn't just some guy. 

 

_What's inside you?_  You bit the inside of your cheek as your stared at the locked door and walked back to the kitchen

 

By the time you were done giving yourself a tour, the door opened and Winter walked in. 

 

"Honey, I'm home!" Winter stated in a sing-song voice and you laughed melodically

 

"Very charming," You commented and before you could say anything more, his arm was wrapped around your waist and his lips were crashing against yours

 

You gave in quickly and looped your arms around his neck as you held on for balance.

 

"I can't believe I get to do that whenever I want," He smiled as he kissed the tip of your nose and pulled you in for a hug

 

You could feel waves of affection and excitement coming off of him and you adored it. Winter was actually excited for you to be staying with him, for you to living with him.  _Can I really just leave in two months?_ Your heart dropped but you pushed the thought aside because that was a problem for another day 

 

* * *

 

"You're lucky we're not wiping you clean," Pierce seethed, "What you did was stupid,"

 

"I got her to drop out and trust the asset," Rumlow stated, "Whatever I did, it was for the betterment of the mission," 

 

"He could've killed you! He could've ripped out your spine in front of her!!" Pierce was shouting and Rumlow winced, "You foolish boy! He's supposed to protect her and love her when he's Winter fuckin' Williams. You could've fucked her while he was the soldier and he wouldn't have batted an eye but if you touch her while he's Williams, he will murder you and not think twice about it!" 

 

* * *

 

Your documents got processed at the university fairly quickly. You were officially not studying anymore. You sat in the library with all the pictures scattered across the floor as you sorted through them. There were some in which Winter had nothing on at all, you put those in a pile that was just for your eyes. 

 

You were putting together an album to send to Remy, to show how happy you were, how happy you were with Winter. There were a few pictures in the pile that you'd never seen before. You figured that Winter must've taken them. In one, you stood in the kitchen and it was taken from behind. Another one was with you sitting in a towel on the balcony as you painted your nails. You smiled to yourself as kept them in a pile which was for the future. You really hoped that you and Winter had a future. 

 

You left a note on the fridge that you'd gone to the post office and gathered the pictures you'd decided to send to Remy and left the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooohhh remy's finallly gonna get pictures of you and winter and butterflies and everything else in between too!!!
> 
> what is phase two?!?!
> 
> and like, come on, any dad would be angry if their kid decided to drop out for some guy, right? dad logan is just annoyed because he believes that the reader is meant for greater and bigger things!!!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all  
> major shoutout to DarknessTurnsMeOn for helping me with the french - because the previous chapters french was fucked up and i was explained that google has been trolling me  
> second of all, thank you SO much for you comments, that's literally what keeps the story going <3
> 
> again, this story wouldn't have been possible to begin with if allure_chan hadn't given me an awesome prompt to work with

"The target is sending pictures of the asset to the other mutant. To top it all off, in her little letter, she's asked for pictures as well," The Officer sighed and Pierce nodded as they saw the album in front of them, it had pictures of you, of Winter, butterflies on the oddest of places and a variety of other things, "How are you going to handle this?" 

 

"The asset's hair is covering most of his face," Pierce swallowed but even he knew that was a lie, "And what's wrong with the mutant sending his pictures to the target?" 

 

"Of course," The Officer smiled softly, "And the arm is just tin foil over actual skin? The fact that your agent is seducing the mutant is just an added bonus in all of this," He chuckled sarcastically, "You know, Alexander, I'm just  _waiting_ for you to screw up so my employer can take over this little project of yours and actually turn it into something more," 

 

"Well, you can tell Fi-," Pierce began

 

"We  _do not_  speak his name!" The Officer growled and Pierce recoiled slightly

 

"I will  _not_  screw up," Pierce stated with a tight-lipped smile, "We're all working towards the same cause here," 

 

"We are," The Officer fixed his spectacles, "However, HYDRA only looks towards rewarding those who actually do succeed," 

 

"You had  **one** success,  _boy_ ," Pierce stared down the man in front of him, "Don't let that get to your head," 

 

" _She_  wasn't just a success, Alex," The Officer smiled softly, "She was a miracle in itself. Let's not compare our toys, however. We'll be in touch,"

 

Pierce nodded and the Officer began to leave but turned just before, "Oh, and one more thing," He met Pierce's eyes, "We will be getting in touch with the target as well... Eventually. Consider this a courtesy announcement," 

 

The Officer left and Pierce let out an angry growl. A glass shattered against the floor and his eyes only saw red due to his fury. 

 

"Call Agent 17," Pierce found his breath again, "Ask for an update," 

 

* * *

 

"Hello?" Amanda rolled out of bed and Remy was asleep next to her

 

"Agent 17," A distorted voice came through, "Mr Pierce would like an update on the mutant," 

 

"I sent a filed report yesterday," She sighed, "Don't you people ever check your mail? I swear to god," Amanda pinched the bridge of her nose, "Look for it and you'll find the past month's details and reports," 

 

"Will let him know, Agent but he also wishes to speak with you so call him as soon as you can," An answer came and then a click 

 

"Fucking pricks," Amanda whispered to herself 

 

"Il y a un problème, chérie?" Remy rubbed the sleep from his eyes and Amanda sucked in a breath before turning to him

 

"Aucun problème du tout, chéri," Amanda smiled as she turned to face Remy

 

She added an extra sway to her hips as she made her way back to him. She felt his eyes sweep over his body but she felt almost,  _almost_  guilty to be doing this to Remy. He respected her, he adored her, he cared for her and he never pushed past anything if she said no. He was making her test her loyalties and that was messing with her head. He didn't love her, she knew it but he cared for her and that was new. 

 

_Focus!_  Amanda scolded herself,  _It's not real. None of it is real._  However, she couldn't help but wish it was. 

 

"Tell Gambit what's on your mind," Remy whispered to her softly and she kissed him

 

She was lying to him through her teeth and it was beginning to break her heart. She knew that Remy liked her, he didn't love her but she was falling, fucking hell, she was falling hard. 

 

"It's nothing," She kissed his cheek and trailed down his jaw as he rested her head on his chest

 

Remy's fingertips danced on his back and she felt comfortable, she felt safe in his arms. She hadn't felt safe like that in a long time. When Amanda was with Remy, she didn't feel the need to look over her shoulder, she didn't feel the need to keep her walls up. He respected her boundaries and for someone who was taught to use her body to get whatever she needed to, she hiccuped with Remy because he cared for the fact that she was so gifted and intelligent. She didn't have to dumb herself down for him.

 

Maybe that's why her loyalties were shaking. Maybe that's why the report didn't hold any details that HYDRA didn't already know.  _Maybe we could've really been something_ , She thought to herself as Remy looked at her with his red eyes. 

 

Amanda and Remy went through the motions of the day and when she was able to get away, she called Pierce. He explained the situation of the incoming package and briefed her about the letter with the pictures as well. Amanda's heart broke but she kept her front. She was happy with Remy but she couldn't let them know. She scoffed and groaned and asked how long she had to keep it up so Pierce wouldn't be suspicious.

 

* * *

 

You woke up exhausted to the bone. You felt like you'd been beaten up, hell, when you looked at yourself in the mirror, the bruises made you feel like you had been beaten. You looked over to Winter, he was still asleep and wrapped up in the sheets, but there were bruises on him too. He healed faster, you'd noticed.

 

_Maybe it's the drugs that he uses for the prosthetic_ , You concluded because Winter did sometimes complain about his shoulder aching. 

 

That's why the apartment was warm and never cool. His shoulder would hurt too much if it got cold and he would need painkillers to reduce the pain. You'd been with Winter for over a week now and he'd quit his job at the cafe because he didn't really need it. He just wanted something to do over the summer. You were having fun but you were just always exhausted when you woke up and you couldn't understand why. It was almost as if you never slept for more than a few minutes. You made a mental note to start taking afternoon naps. 

 

You tiptoed back into bed and slid under the covers. Winter's warmth engulfed you instantly and his right arm pulled you close by wrapping around your waist. 

 

"Stevie," Winter whispered into the sheets, "Ain't she somethin'?" 

 

You barely caught it but you'd never heard of anyone named Steve in his circle. 

 

"Babe, you up?" You asked softly but got no answer, you assumed that he was sleep talking, "Who's Stevie?" You kissed his jaw

 

"My pal," He mumbled into the pillow and drifted of deep slumber again 

 

You frowned because you'd never heard that name before and there was a soft smile on Winter's face that made him look so much younger suddenly. Something told you that Winter had seen much more than he ever led you to believe. 

 

_Maybe he's not some rich kid who's had it easy_ , You pushed back the hair that was covering his face and his eyes fluttered open 

 

"If I knew I could get a pretty dame in my bed every morning, I would've asked her to drop out way before," Winter's voice cracked and he gave you a lopsided smirk 

 

"Oh, do I know her?" You kissed his cheek but he rolled you over so you were trapped underneath his mountain weight 

 

Winter's head rested on your stomach and your fingers ran softly through his hair. He was peaceful. You could feel something from him but it was a feeling you hadn't known before. It calming, so, you didn't try to decipher it and enjoyed the lazy morning. 

 

"Sorry for being rough," He kissed your stomach, "I'll be careful next time," 

 

"It's okay," You smiled down at him, "Maybe I'm just fragile. It never hurts when we're- umm- you know," Winter chuckled and his warm breath made your skin tingle, "Yeah, laugh it up," 

 

"I just love it that you're always shy in the morning," His index finger traced the outlines of a bruise on your thigh 

 

"Sounds like you love a lot of things about me," You huffed a laugh, "Listen, maybe I should go to a doctor's? The bruises could be because there's something wrong with me and I'm just so tired in the mornings. I have insurance, so-,"

 

"Money ain't a problem, doll," Winter looked up at you, "We'll go whenever you want to. I'll ask Дядя to set an appointment with the family doctor," 

 

"Okay," You nodded and your stomach growled a little, "How about breakfast in the meantime?" 

 

"Aye aye, Captain," He winked at you and slid out of bed

 

Your eyes followed his naked frame as he walked into the bathroom. The scars expanded from his shoulder and covered most of his upper back. You knew the procedure would've been painful. Sometimes when you touched the scars, you could almost feel the agony Winter had gone through.  _Almost_. The bell rang and you were pulled out of your thoughts. 

 

"Can you get that?" Winter called out and you pulled on his shirt with a pair of boxers

 

"Package for Ms Y/L/N," A man stood at the door and you signed for the brown envelope 

 

The door clicked and you ripped open the paper. A handful of pictures fell from it. A picture of Logan and Remy at the bar fell in your lap as you sat on the couch in the lounge. You'd taken it, you knew it. 

 

_Two copies of each. One for you, one for us._

 

 

You smiled to yourself. Remy had gotten all the pictures doubled printed.  _Bless you_ , You said a little prayer for him.

 

"Who was it, doll?" Winter came into the room as well

 

"Pictures from my cousin," You explained with ease and patted a place next to you, "This is Remy and that's Logan," 

 

"Logan?" He cocked a brow and you nodded, "He looks like a  _James_  to me," He chuckled and you smirked as well

 

"You know what, yeah, I guess I see it too," You looked at Logan, "He  _does_ look like a James," 

 

You saw a picture of Amanda and Remy. They had probably taken it with a timer because he sat in his room, on the edge of his bed and Amanda was in his lap, leaning on him. Her smile reached her eyes and she looked  _happy_ , almost radiated joy. 

 

"That's Amanda, she was my roommate back home. She's dating Remy now," You explained and Winter pulled you closer, "She's really smart. I know she doesn't look it, but like, she's crazy smart. She had a double major  _and_ partied like no tomorrow," He took the picture from you and stared at it, "What's up?"

 

"Nothin'," Winter shrugged, "I thought I'd seen her someplace before," 

 

"Maybe when you came to New Orleans?" You asked without really paying attention as you went through the other pictures, "Oh, this is Remy's club," You showed Winter a picture of the empty club

 

"What's it called?" He looked at the pictures over your shoulder 

 

"You know, we don't really have a name for it," You laughed, "It's just  _there_. People know about and that's it. We never kept a name,"

 

"We?" Winter didn't understand the connotation

 

"Oh, Remy had made me and Logan partners in the whole thing," You explained, "I own about a quarter of the shares in the business," 

 

"And I thought I could buy your love," He kissed your shoulder and you giggled as his stubbled tickled your skin

 

"Rude," You laughed and he held you close but the moment was broken when Winter's stomach growled, "Breakfast," You reminded him 

 

You were still exhausted but Remy's pictures made you feel good about everything but you were still tired and everything hurt. After eating, you told Winter that you were going to bed again. 

 

* * *

 

"She's tired all the time," The Officer sighed, "You're moving very slowly. No one is happy," 

 

"She isn't ready yet," Pierce explained with a strained smile on his lips, "She's progressing, she's learning fast but she isn't ready for the procedure yet," 

 

"If you don't want her to get increasingly suspicious," The Officer fixed his spectacles, "Then I urge you to move faster... Otherwise, we will," 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE TELL ME Y'ALL FIGURED OUT WHO THE OFFICER ISSSSS
> 
> also, uhh ooohhh winter is beginning to remember some shiiitttt :O :O :O


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took a little while but work has been keeping me so fucking busy  
> also - i'm thinking of doing a writing challenge on my tumblr but lmaaooo i barely got any followers there????? idk - i figured i'd get some activity going on there if i did that ? share you ideas ?

"You look lost," Winter pointed out but you weren't listening

 

You were exhausted. Your body ached and the doctor had given you iron supplements. Blood tests had been done, Winter even got the doctor to run some extra tests and all the while, your heart was caught in your throat because you didn't know if your blood was different than a normal human's. It was, actually but you didn't know that. The doctor was also a front by Pierce and you'd been roped into giving them everything they wanted. 

 

Your eyes were dull and your nails looked almost sickly. You looked like you weren't getting any sleep at all apart from the few hours in the afternoon. 

 

"Doll," Winter called out to you, "I said, you look lost,"

 

"Huh?" You looked up from your plate and met his eyes, "Sorry," You blinked again, "I'm just really tired. I think I'll go to bed again," You yawned as you stood shakily but the lightheadedness caught up to your and everything blacked out 

 

"Doll?" Winter jolted up as he caught you before you hit the floor, "Y/N? Fuck, fuck, wake up," He tried shaking you but you weren't responsive 

 

* * *

 

"Sir, the Asset in calling," Someone notified Pierce, "Uh- the Target has fainted," 

 

* * *

 

"You finally screwed up, Alex," The Officer mocked Pierce with a soft smile 

 

"Fuck off," Pierce growled, "Everything will be just fine," 

 

"If you say so," The Officer shrugged and followed Pierce into the hospital 

 

"What happened?" Pierce asked Winter coldly

 

"I don't know," Winter's eyes were bloodshot, "We were- we were havin' breakfast. She said she felt tired and that- that she was gonna go back to bed but- but then," He swallowed as he ran his hands over his face, "She stood up and passed out. The doctor thinks that I've been abusin' her because of the all the bruises- the bruises ain't there 'cause I've been hurtin' her, you know that," His voice dropped low, "Please, you gotta do somethin',"

 

"I'll handle this," Pierce nodded and left Winter in the hallway with the Officer

 

"Fuck," Winter growled as he wiped his eyes as he sat back down, "I'm not- I'm not abusin' her," He whispered to himself, "I wouldn't ever," 

 

The Officer was quietly observing the behaviour that the Asset was showing and a smile crept across his lips. 

 

"You really like Y/N, don't you?" The Officer asked Winter

 

"I love her," Winter chuckled, "Fuckin' hell, _I love her_ ," He slumped into the chair

 

"If I may be so forward," The Officer leaned closer, "Why do the doctors think you're abusing Y/N?" 

 

"We- Uh-" Winter cleared his throat, "We're very intimate and she's fragile. So..."

 

"Ah, I see," The Officer nodded, "Don't worry, boy. They'll know that all this was just a misunderstanding," 

 

Winter gave a sad smile. Pierce was never this sweet or kind to him, but this man was and he felt comfortable with that. 

 

"I'm sorry, I never got your name," Winter recalled and the Officer smiled

 

* * *

 

There was a consuming darkness all around you. You could feel a pressure all over yourself but couldn't move. Your throat was dry and your eyes were almost glued shut. 

 

 _Hello?_  Your mind tried to scream but no words escaped your lips.

 

You could hear something. You tried to focus. A beeping. Your brows furrowed slightly as you focused harder and the sound became clearer. It sounded like a heart monitor. You felt a hand on your forearm, a warmth on your skin, caressing you softly. You tried to move but exhaustion was settled so deeply in your bones that you couldn't move still. 

 

"She seems to be holding stable," You heard a female voice 

 

"When will she wake up?" A familiar voice asked, Winter, you concluded

 

"Soon," The woman answered, "Her vitals are strong. You should get some rest too," 

 

"I'll rest when she's awake," Winter gave a soft squeeze to your hand and you drifted off into the darkness again 

 

* * *

 

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

 

Your head throbbed with the sound of the heart monitor. You stirred but your hand was under an enormous weight.

 

"Lo-," Your voice was raspy and your throat was too dry

 

You tried to open your eyes but everything just felt too heavy

 

"Rem- Remy?" You tried again and your left eye was able to capture some light

 

You saw needles in your skin and your legs were strapped to the bed. Your eyes shot open and your heart rate skyrocketed. The lights flooded your eyes and you were met with an eerie scene. The room was green, you were in a container of sorts. 

 

"Is she awake?!" A muffled voice came from outside the container

 

"Put her back to sleep!" Another voice screamed 

 

You tried to move but you were secured in place so tightly that you couldn't move an inch. You were struggling and you took a deep breath. You eyes darkened and a white light burst from your chest. 

 

"FIRE!!" Someone screamed and you tried to struggle more

 

"It's just an illusion!" A voice yelled back 

 

 _Oh god, they know what I am!_  You were terrified beyond belief and the darkness came again

 

* * *

 

There was a softness underneath you that felt almost like silk. Your senses were consumed by worry and love. You tried to open your eyes and they opened easily without a hassle. Winter's head was next to your arm and he was holding your hand. Your thumb slowly caressed his hand and he quickly shot up. 

 

"Hey," Your voice cracked

 

"Hi, baby," Winter smiled as he leaned down and kissed your chapped lips softly

 

"Wa- water?" You barely whispered and ran to the other side of the room to get you some

 

"You really gave me a scare, ya know," He chuckled as put the straw to your lips, "But don't worry, you're gonna be just fine now," 

 

"What- what happened?" You asked as Winter helped you sit up, "What day is it?" 

 

"It's- Uh- Actually, it's the 3rd of August," He swallowed and your heart dropped

 

" _What?!_ " You gasped, "I was out for almost two weeks? Fuck," Your breathing became shallow and your heart monitor went crazy as your grip on the bed railings tightened, "Did Logan call? What about Remy? Oh my god, they must be worried, fuck, I need to call-,"

 

"Hey, hey, look at me" Winter held your face, "You're alright. They called and I spoke to your cousin and explain what happened to you. He offered to come but I assured him that you were gonna be fine,"  

 

"What happened to me?" You stared at him with worry

 

"You were severely dehydrated and there was a massive iron deficiency too," He explained softly and you nodded "And now, you're just fine," He assured you, "But there's a bit of a problem," 

 

"What's the problem?" Your brows furrowed and his eyes flicked down to your hands

 

"Your mutantcy," He swallowed and you looked at how the bed railings were bent under your hands and fingers, "You're strong. Inhumanly strong. You weren't strong before because you weren't okay but now that you are, your body's doing great,"

 

"Does anyone know?" Your heart raced again and Winter looked away

 

"I had to tell Дядя," He sat down on the edge of the bed and his hands were in his lap, "I didn't know what else to do, I had to- I had to tell someone- I needed help-"

 

"It wasn't yours to tell," You seethed and he nodded

 

"I know," Winter sighed, "But I was so scared that I was gonna lose you or that the doctors would find out and take you away and do something to you. I was just  _so scared_ but when I told Дядя, he got the best doctors and he flew you to New York and he kept everything under wraps,"

 

"We're in New York?" Your eyes widened and he nodded again

 

"Just until you're okay. We'll go back to Seattle when you're better," He assured you, "Are you okay?"

 

"I- I had this- I had a nightmare when I was asleep," You whispered slowly, "I was being tortured and people had found out that I was a mutant," 

 

"No, no, no," Winter moved closer towards you, "I won't ever let anyone hurt you," 

 

"Winter, I-," You began but he cut you off by kissing you deeply 

 

You breathed in his scent and it made you feel calm and at peace

 

"I love you, doll," Winter smiled and his out of focus eyes shined, "I won't let anything hurt you," 

 

"I love you too, Winter," You hugged him softly and let his warmth seep into your body 

 

* * *

 

"See, everything went just fine," Pierce stated smugly as him and the Officer looked at you and Winter from the two-way mirror

 

"For now," The Officer smiled, "Don't let one little success get to your head, Alex," 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG OMG OMGGGG  
> Y'ALL KNOW WHAT THIS MEAAANNNSSS!!!!!!!!!! :O :O :O


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically - what happened when you were out cold

 

"Fainted?!" Pierce's heart dropped, "What do you mean she fainted? What happened? What did that animal do?!"

 

"Sir," The subordinate flinched, "The Target was exhausted- She- Uh- She wasn't sleeping as much she needed and ever since we began training her, she's been under more stress and her mutantcy doesn't- It doesn't make her strong enough for her to sustain it like the Soldier does," 

 

Pierce had rushed to the hospital with the Officer in tow, much to his dismay and saw Winter sitting in the lobby.

 

* * *

 

 

The doctors in Seattle weren't equipped the way Pierce wanted them to be, so, he wanted to move to New York but he couldn't get Winter put to sleep, again, much to his dismay. Pierce was so engrossed in focusing on your treatement tha he didn't notice how the Officer was digging his nails into Winter and pulling him slowly to his side. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Where are they taking her?" Winter stared at your body being wheeled away 

 

"Just a small procedure," The doctor assured her, "I suggest you go home and rest up. She won't be back until tomorrow night anyway," 

 

Winter looked at the floor, weighing his options. He was exhausted. He hadn't slept in almost a week; even he had his limits. He nodded slowly. 

 

"Yeah," His throat almost closed up to leave you, "Yeah, I'll go to my hotel," His eyes stayed on you as you disappeared from view as they wheeled your away but he didn't move

 

The Officer approached him slowly, "Winter, I really think you should go back and maybe sleep for a while," 

 

"I can't just leave her," Winter's eyes were glued to the corridor even though you were gone 

 

"I understand that but if- if you're not rested- if something happens to you then you can't take care of her when she comes back," The Officer explained softly and Winter finally met his concerned gaze

 

"My boss, well, he's a close friend as well," The Officer began to tell Winter fondly, "You remind me of him. He's stubborn too but whenever he's not listening to me, he listens to his fiancé but when she fell ill, he lost his mind," Winter chuckled breathily, "Much like you but I convinced him to rest because how was he to take care of her if he would fall ill while staying awake too?"

 

"I know- That's the thing," Winter breathed, "I know you're right- I know you're right and I'm supposed to rest but I can't. Every time I close my eyes, I feel like something bad will happen,"

 

The Officer's throat closed up because something bad was going to happen and even though Winter was just an Asset to HYDRA, he was still human. He was a human who was clearly in love. He was a human whose decades of programming was slowly failing because of a girl. Oh, he reminded him of his friend a little too much. 

 

"Tell you what," The Officer smiled as he put his hand on his shoulder like a loving uncle, "I'll call you as soon as I hear something," 

 

"Thank you so much," Winter cradled his face in his handed

 

* * *

 

"Why the long face, baby?" Amanda kissed Remy's shoulder

 

"Gambit's just worried," Remy sighed as he leaned into Amanda's touch, "Y/N hasn't called in a while," 

 

Amanda knew what was going on. Pierce had instructed her specifically to keep Remy busy and to make sure that he doesn't call or get suspicious of you being away. She was glad that Remy wasn't an empath like you otherwise he would've felt her dread. 

 

"I'm sure she just lost track of time," She tried to assure him but she wasn't trying too hard 

 

"Gambit still worries," Remy repeated as he stood up from the bed and went to the bathroom 

 

If Amanda wanted, she could've easily kept Remy busy that he wouldn't have noticed a month go by but she was worried too. She was worried about your safety and she was worried about the man she loved and his heart breaking if anything happened to you. She bit the inside of her cheek and contemplated what to do and then made a split second decision. 

 

Remy came out of the bathroom and Amanda handed him the phone, "Why don't you call her then?" 

 

* * *

Winter sat in the empty hotel room. Pierce had an illusion to keep up and that meant that Winter had to play the part of the worried boyfriend. He sat with your things scattered around. A shrill sound rang through the emptiness and Winter's senses went on alert as he jumped to his feet. He went through your bags and finally came to your purse. He fished out your phone from it's depths and the screen flashed Remy's name.

 

Winter pressed the answer button but said nothing. 

 

"Mon amour, Gambit s'est inquiétée. Why have you not called in so long?" Remy's voice came through, full of love and it stopped Winter's heart, "Gambit vous manque beaucoup trop. Come home to us, chéri," 

 

"Y/N isn't here at the moment," Winter explained slowly, "You must be Remy?" 

 

"Oui, je suis Remy," Remy's voice wavered, "You must be the autre homme in Y/N's life," 

 

"I hope to be the only man in her life for a long while," Winter retorted and earned a chuckle from Remy

 

"Where is Y/N?" Remy finally asked, "Gambit misses her,"

 

"About that," Winter sighed, "She got sick..."

 

"What happened? Gambit swears, if you did anything, you wish you'd never known Y/N," Remy seethed suddenly and even Winter was surprised by the sudden wave of anger

 

"I didn't do anything," Winter quickly defended himself, "She just- She hadn't been sleeping well and was extremely dehydrated. She was on iron supplements as well- Don't tell her I told you because she'll have my neck- But then a few days ago she passed out but my godfather is getting her the best medical care in the country and she'll be okay in no time," 

 

"And if she isn't?" Remy asked the dreaded question that was on Winter's mind too 

 

"She will be," Winter said with conviction that his heart didn't have, "The doctors my godfather knows, they can do miracles, trust me, I'm one of them," 

 

"I've seen the pictures, mon ami," Remy's voice dropped low, "Gambit hopes that you are right," 

 

"I hope so too," Winter sighed and heard a click, indication of Remy hanging up 

 

He tossed the phone on the bed and then the tears came. His eyes filled but no voice escaped his lips. His heart was so heavy and he couldn't understand it. Winter's eyes burned until his eyes were dry and he sat in the bathtub. His fingers were pruned and the water was ice cold. 

 

"Please,  _please_ , come back to me," Winter whispered to himself, "I don't think I could go on without you," He prayed to every god he could think of for you, after all, you were his only connection to his humanity, but he didn't know it yet 

 

* * *

 

"How's everything coming along?" Pierce was hounding his subordinates, "Will the serum hold?" 

 

"Sir, we won't be sure until afterwards," One doctor was brave enough to answer

 

Pierce stared at your body as people in coats stuck needles into your skin as you lied naked on the bed. There was nothing sexual about you at that moment. You were just an experiment for Pierce, a means to move forward. 

 

"I truly hope that you don't mess up, Alex," The Officer approached Pierce, startling him in the process

 

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" Pierce growled at him, "How does your  _employer_  let you be away for so long?" 

 

"Oh, he's perfectly capable of handling himself," The Officer smiled politely, "I just handle other matters that he can't give full attention to. You know, the little things," 

 

Pierce fell silent as he thought about the woman the Officer's employer had resurrected. She was truly something else but Pierce was certain that she was nothing compared to you and the Officer knew it as well; maybe that's why he was keeping such a close eye on the Siren Initiative. 

 

"Tell me something," Pierce said softly, "Does your precious  _Elektra_ still hold the capacity to be a human or is she just a puppet to you lot?" 

 

That did it. The Officer's calm demeanour faltered. His smile fell from his lips and his knuckles turned white and his gaze turned to Pierce as he stood smugly, knowing the full length of his words but at this point, he was too full of confidence to care. The Officer looked at him and chuckled breathily.

 

"I hope for your own sake, Alex," The Officer began slowly, "That your  _little science project_  does alright. It would be quiet a shame if Y/N and Siren turn into one person," 

 

As the Officer left after saying the final word, a commotion broke out as someone screamed for fire. Pierce barked that it was just an illusion and you were pushed into slumber once more. 

 

* * *

 

"Did it work?" Pierce was restless as he stared at you and Winter from a two-way mirror

 

You stirred awake and Winter spoke to you. He watched as you showed an array of emotions but Winter calmed you down and explained how your mutantcy by known and slowly you became alright as the situation weighed down on you. 

 

Pierce smiled to himself as your strength showed itself when you bent the bed railings. The procedure had worked perfectly. 

 

 _Stronger than Winter and Widow, combined_ , Pierce thought to himself and turned to the Officer

 

"See, everything went just fine," Pierce stated smugly

  

"For now," The Officer smiled, "Don't let one little success get to your head, Alex,"

 

"Don't worry,  _Wesley_ ," Pierce's confidence shined in his eyes, "Your _King_ isn't getting his hands on her," 

 

"Remember to respect him, Alex, otherwise, I have no qualms about teaching it to you," The Officer, or rather, Wesley, reminded Pierce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun dunnnnnn  
> now you KNOW what exactly happenedd!!!!!!!
> 
> also like we've got WILSON FUCKIN FISK IN THE HOUUUSSEEEE!!!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> k so like - i'll be SUPER honest but this chapter is basically a filler and doesn't help the plot is no way but i felt like y'all deserve some happiness!!!!

"It's a strange feeling, you know," You looked out the window of the plane

 

"What is, doll?" Winter's chin rested on your shoulder

 

"You," You faced him and crinkled your nose playfully, "No- I mean- Everything is,"

 

"Gotta be more specific, babe," He said softly as his breath ghosted over the skin of your neck

 

"You're distracting me," You squealed, "So... unless you want this plane to fall right from the sky because the pilot felt  _frisky_ , you'll stop,"

 

"Is that what I'm doin' then?" He winked and you giggled as you leaned away from him

 

"You're a menace," You rolled your eyes and he captured your lips in a quick kiss

 

"I'm  _your_  menace, doll," He reminded you and your cheeks burned as a blush crept all over your skin, "Tell me what's strange," 

 

"Just- I don't know- Life?" You couldn't string together the words, "Everything is happening so fast- so perfectly. It's scary," 

 

"I'm scary?" He looked at you and you felt his sadness 

 

You kissed his cheek and looped your arm around his as you rested your head on his shoulder

 

"You're not scary. You'll never be scary to me, I promise that," You assured him, "I just feel like everything is far too amazing," 

 

* * *

 

Your recovery had been almost instant when you awakened. Your body was stronger, you weren't exhausted, you felt full of energy and there was just something more inside you. You knew it. You could feel it. You loved it and Pierce was keeping a close eye on you as well; needless to say, he was enjoying the fact that you loved your newfound powers and your body didn't fight against it, rather, your mutantcy enhanced it even more. Your strength was greater than Winter's but the same speed that he possessed and then your previous powers were exceptional as well. Everything else; such as your sustainability and how much you could take, that would come out slowly. 

 

* * *

 

You entered the apartment and Winter was right behind you. His eyes swept all over you and you could  _feel_  him wanting you. You swayed your hips as you dropped your purse on the counter and went to the fridge to take out some water. You kicked off your shoes and pulled off your jacket as you smiled to yourself. 

 

"I can feel your eyes all over me," You sang the words without turning to look at Winter 

 

"You know what I'm thinkin' then?" He asked you huskily as his arms wrapped around your waist and his bulge pressed against you 

 

"I'm- I'm not telepathic, you know," You breathed as his lust pumped through your veins and you let his emotions override yours 

 

"I ain't gotta be careful with you no more," He kissed your shoulder and you hummed with a renewed buzz in your body 

 

"So, what does that  _exactly_  mean, Mr Williams?" You asked him softly, your voice barely above a whisper

 

"I think you  _know_ exactly what that means," Winter nibbled your ear softly and you felt his teeth graze over your skin but you didn't feel the pain like you did before, you didn't feel the bruises coming and you surely didn't feel like he needed to hold back 

 

You smirked to yourself as you wiggled your butt onto him and a soft gasp escaped him because you'd caught him by surprise. You turned to face him and pushed him until he hit the countertop and you held it, trapping him between yourself and the counter. Your body pressed against his and his eyes were so consumed with lust that they seemed almost black. 

 

"Tell me what you mean,  _Winter_ ," You took his name with a twist of your tongue and he licked his lips as his eyes flicked from your lips to your eyes and you cocked a brow

 

Winter's lips crashed into yours and there was nothing soft or sweet about it. You didn't have to be a mutant to know that this time wasn't the same as all the times before and you were ready for it. You bit his lip and tasted copper. Winter growled and his metal fingers tangled in your hair and the other hand squeezed at your waist. 

 

His belt buckle dug into your stomach and you realized that both of you were covered in too many layers. Your hands caressed his chest and landed on his buckle without leaving his lips for even a moment. You undid Winter's belt and your fingers dragged across his stomach chest as you started to pull up his shirt in a painfully slow way. 

 

You could  _feel_  his annoyance building and you were having too much fun to care.

 

"Fuck, doll," He groaned as he broke away from the kiss and pulled off his jacket and shirt in one swift motion 

 

You rolled your bottom lip between your teeth and pulled out his belt from the loops of his jeans. Winter's eyes were so blown with lust that they didn't almost look black, they were black. Before he could catch you to kiss you again, you slipped out of his touch and disappeared from his vision completely. 

 

"Come on, babe," He chuckled as he undid jeans buttons, "You really gonna play games with me now?" 

 

" _Find me_ ," Your voice seemed to echo from everywhere and it made him ache for you even more 

 

You were hiding yourself from him. Your illusion tricks in the bedroom weren't new but disappearing and rendering yourself invisible, well, that was new. You stood only a few feet away from him but you were only hiding your body. You  _hoped_  that he could smell your perfume and find you. 

 

"Give me a clue, doll," Winter's eyes traced the lounge and he pulled off his shoes and jeans

 

You swallowed because you could clearly  _see_ how much he wanted you because feeling his lust and want and need of you wasn't enough, you wanted to tease him too. Your eyes narrowed towards the library and Winter  _heard_  the piano playing, he took a step forward but then backed off.

 

"I know you ain't there, sweetheart," He smiled as he took off his socks and headed to the bedroom

 

" _No fun!_ " Your voice echoed again and he laughed in response

 

"Come on, darlin', I'll put on a little show if you want," He sat down at the edge of the bed as you trailed softly behind him 

 

Winter pulled off his boxers and even though it wasn't the first time you were seeing him like this, you practically salivated at the sight of him every time. His hardened member pointed North and your eyes grew wide when you saw what he was doing. His hand wrapped around the base and with a twist of his wrist, he began to rock himself slowly. 

 

Your breath got caught in your throat and your illusion faltered, making you reappear in front of him. 

 

"Gotcha," He winked as he pulled you into his lap and planted another feverish kiss onto your lips hungrily, "Too- Many- Clothes," He spoke into the kiss and almost tore your shirt as he pulled it off 

 

You unhooked your bra as he pulled on your pants, hooking his fingers into the waistband and tossed you onto the bed, climbing on top. You lifted your bottom and with one movement, you dripping core was bare to him. He bent over slowly and kissed you softly. His tongue curled over yours and you tasted him wholly. 

 

You were consumed by a new emotion altogether. You couldn't place it. You couldn't explain it. It wasn't love, it wasn't lust, it was maybe a mix of both and that hadn't ever happened before. It was always an either or situation but at that moment, lust and love combined and your legs wrapped around his torso and pulled him close.

 

Winter's chest pressed against yours and his metal hand squeezed your ass as the other caressed your cheek slowly while kissing you. 

 

" _Please_ ," You almost begged as his tip teased your entrance

 

Most often than not, he usually eased into you slowly but you didn't want to be slow and you felt like he was still holding back.

 

"Don't hold back," You whispered as you kissed him again and that clicked something inside him 

 

Winter pushed into you and through the pain came instant pleasure. It didn't hurt when he held you and slowly, he rocked into you at a relentless pace. You pushed him off and got on top. You rode him slowly as you took him as deep as you could. Winter's hands were squeezing at your waist so tightly that you could  _finally_  feel the bruises coming but it didn't really hurt. 

 

He pulled your closer and sat up and you kept moving. His lips trailed down your jaw, licking, kissing and biting. When you kissed him again, you tasted copper and that's when you realized that Winter truly wasn't holding back. His cool thumb circled your bundle of nerves and you began to come undone. You came first and you ground against him while coming down from your high, Winter spilled himself inside you as well. 

 

Your breathing shallowed for a moment but your heart normalized quickly. You were really enjoying your new found powers. 

 

"Come on," Winter kissed you softly and  _love_  engulfed your entire body and soul, "Clean up," 

 

He led you into the bathroom and filled the tub with warm water. You leaned against him as you two just stayed in the water until it began to cool down. You and him fell into bed a while later and your head rested on his chest as you listened to the rhythm of his never changing heart. You bruises were healing already and the bite marks were fading as well. You nails caressed Winter's scars slowly, making sure that he  _felt_  loved. 

 

"I never asked what this meant," Your fingertip traced the red star on Winter's silver arm

 

A wave of anxiety, dread, anger, hopelessness, worry, confusion crashed into you as Winter thought to give you an answer. You knew that all the emotions that he was feeling were hidden deep inside him. He wasn't feeling them, he was just thinking, but these were all associated with the star in question. 

 

"You know what, forget I asked," You quickly said as you looked into his eyes, "Do you think maybe we could change the colour?" 

 

"What colour would you want?" His cool thumb caressed your cheek and you smiled softly 

 

"What about blue?" You asked happily and felt a surge of unparamounted...  _joy_ from Winter,  _Does blue make him feel that good?_  You didn't know, "Do you like blue?" You asked instead

 

"I  _think_  I once knew someone who really liked blue," He said thoughtfully as he tried to remember 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmaaaooo i liedddd!!! there was plot!!! do liked blueee??? you know whoo!!! Steve did. His whole uniform was bluuueeee <3


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHKY SO LIKE  
> fair warning because HYDRA shit starts right off the bat

"Play the last night's tape," Pierce asked and the room engulfed in darkness

 

The screen in front of him lit up and showed you and Winter. You were asleep as his arms wrapped around you protectively. Another figure walked in and spoke the incantation to awaken the Soldier in Winter and the Siren within you. The sheets fell to the floor and the two of you followed the figured out of the room. The channel changed and showed another room of the apartment as you and Winter followed the figure through the hallway and stopped at the locked door that you'd never come around to asking about. 

 

The figure opened the door and the light from the room illuminated his face to reveal that it was Rumlow. You and Winter followed him into the room and the channel changed again to reveal an entirely different world.

 

The building was HYDRA's. 

 

The room wasn't just a room. It was just a door was a gateway to their training facility, right in the middle of Seattle. Pierce and Wesley stared at the screen as you and Winter stood stoically in the centre of the glassed room, naked as the day you were born. People emerged from the mirrored walls and began to pull gears unto your bodies and you went through the motions like it was just another night. Standing still like statute. Winter stood in front of you and you stared blankly into each others eyes.

 

It only took a few minutes but after they were done, Winter and you stood with battle gear but no weapons except a knife in each hand. 

 

"Take your places," A voice ran through the room and you and Winter looked each other before taking your battle stances, "Do not use your mutantcy, Siren. Fight," The same voice rang through again 

 

You screamed as you lunged towards Winter with your entire bodyweight. He didn't move and caught you with his left arm, tugging you closer by the leg, he punched you in the face with his right fist. Your headbutted him and he stumbled back. Your knife cut a slash across his gear on his chest but no real damage was done. 

 

Screaming echoed as you two threw each other around but Rumlow was getting tired of how neither of you was truly being merciless to the other. 

 

"Add the others," Rumlow's voice pulsated through the training room and people began flooding the centre 

 

You and Winter went from fighting each other to standing against each other's backs and facing everyone else.  You hadn't even broken a sweat just yet, whereas Winter's chest was heaving deep breaths and then came the others in droves. Back and forth. Back and forth. Right and left. Right hook. Left hook. Jab, jab, stab, punch, kick. It was a mess and the crowd was consuming the two of you. 

 

Winter was being held by five people and a blood-curdling scream left your lungs as you punched a person in front of you hard enough to break his skull. You broke someone's neck and another's spine just to get to Winter.

 

Pierce was practically at the edge of his seat. Wesley was taking in the images in front of him. The video showed something new that he'd not expected of you and soft smirk plays on his lips. 

 

The sound of bones crunching echoed in the video as Rumlow stood on the side with a surprised face. His eyes were full of horror. You murdered people without using your mutantcy just to get to Winter. 

 

"Enough," A disembodied voice whispered and everything went eerily still 

 

People helped you and Winter out of your gears and stripped you down to nothing like before. Rumlow took you back to your bedroom and put you two to bed in the same way as he'd found you. He left through the room that was locked and left. 

 

The screen went blank and the lights came back on. 

 

"The progress is remarkable, Alex," Wesley acknowledged politely 

 

"A compliment? From you, Wesley? The world _is_ going to the dogs," Pierce chuckled softly as he sifted through the paperwork for your procedure and how the way you were progressing in your fighting skills 

 

"Don't let it get to your head," Wesley stood and buttoned his jacket as he stood up, "She's quite remarkable. I'll give it to you, Y/N is nothing like Elektra,"

 

"Huh?" Pierce wasn't listening and Wesley smirked to himself

 

_Because when we killed her, we killed her capacity to love as well_ , Wesley thought to him quietly as he left

 

Pierce didn't pay much attention to Wesley leaving. He was losing focus by putting all his time on your progress, turning Winter into just a sideshow. Your progress had been phenomenal, no doubt. Even Winter had a hard time keeping up with you but he wasn't exactly falling behind. Pierce noticed that you worked better  _with_  Winter rather than against him. 

 

All the programming in the world, all the subliminal messages that were hidden in the music that Rumlow had played you for over a month, everything had taken hold of your subconscious but nothing could remove your love for Winter. It was there even before you knew about it. Pierce didn't like it but it made you a ruthless fighter when you thought Winter was in trouble. 

 

* * *

 

"Sleep well?" Winter asked it every morning since you'd been back

 

"Yeah," You nodded with a wide smile, "Never better," 

 

* * *

 

It wasn't a lie. You weren't tired anymore. The bruises faded by afternoon at most, even the ones that made no sense as to how did they come about. You loved that you and Winter didn't have to worry about being careful with each other but it also made both your bodies look like you were fighting all the time. You were  _happy_  and that made Winter happy as well. It wasn't you projecting your emotions onto him, no, it was the general easiness of you two being around one another, the way you two complimented each others space. It was almost as if you were one soul in two bodies. 

 

You'd spoken to Remy when you'd come back to Seattle. Winter hadn't told him that you'd been flown to New York and you'd counted your blessings for that because if Remy had known that the severity of your health had made Alex move you to another city, Remy would've flown in the next day. 

 

You'd scolded telling Winter for telling Remy that you had been sick but then you couldn't really blame him. You understood where he was coming from. You'd spoken to Amanda as well and she'd sounded extremely happy with Remy. She'd even apologized for not liking him in the beginning and you'd forgiven her in a heartbeat. 

 

* * *

 

"Wesley's comin' over tonight," Winter mentioned over breakfast and the name didn't ring any bells 

 

"Who?" You cocked a brow, "Do I know them?" 

 

"Yeah- I mean- I think you met him at Дядя's 4th of-," He stopped himself halfway through the sentence, "I'm sorry, I forgot-," 

 

"Don't worry about it," You assured Winter as his uneasiness and worry coursed through you, "Really, it's been over a month now. Not like I'll ever see him again," 

 

"If I ever see him again, it'll be too soon," He chuckled as he drank his black coffee

 

"So, how come Wesley's coming over?" You asked to divert Winter's attention 

 

"Yeah, I just want you to meet him. He really helped me through everything when you were sick," He explained, "I wouldn't have kept my head above the water if he hadn't been around,"

 

"Does he know?" You bit the inside of your cheek

 

"About your...?" He stared at you and you nodded, "No. I don't think so. He isn't that close to Дядя but he was there when you fainted so he came to the hospital and he decided to stay when he saw that Дядя was focused on your health and I was kinda just... wasting away," 

 

You reached out to hold Winter's hand over the counter. He was ashamed of being weak but you didn't see it that way. 

 

"I  _love_  you," You told him with a smile, "And I love that you were so worried about me that you almost lost yourself in worrying about me," 

 

"How'd I find you?" He smirked as he leaned across and placed a soft kiss on your lips

 

"I didn't look where I was going," You shrugged and Winter laughed softly as he pulled away, "What?"

 

"You didn't bump into me," He cleared his throat, "I'd seen you coming out of the bar and- and you were so beautiful, god, you were _so beautiful_. So, I just- I walked into you," 

 

You stared at Winter in complete disbelief and then burst out laughing. 

 

"You walked into me because you thought I was pretty?" Your eyes teared up with laughter

 

"I said you were  _beautiful_ ," He corrected you as he rolled his eyes, "And I'm  _only_  telling you now because we've been together for a while," 

 

"What a sham, Williams!" You sighed dramatically, "And I thought that I was taking charge in this relationship all this time! But nope. Not even once. It was all a lie. A lie!!"

 

Winter laughed loudly as you flayed about with drama, announcing your displeasure but all that melted when he suddenly whipped you around. 

 

"I thought you were fuckin' beautiful and there was not a chance in hell I was gonna let you get away from me, doll," He whispered as he kissed you deeply and you tasted the bitterness of the coffee on his tongue. 

 

You melted into his arms as your fingers tangled in Winter's hair. It was intoxicating, to say the least. 

 

"Come on," You broke away, "We can't get started right now. We've got people comin' over," 

 

"I'll call him to postpone," Winter groaned as his lips trailed down your jawline and his stubble's friction made something turn inside you 

 

"Fu- No," You swallowed a moan, "Winter," You warned him as you pulled him back up, "Guest coming," 

 

"No fair," He kissed you again and your heart drummed alongside his

 

You were  _happy_ and you really didn't see yourself leaving Winter in the fall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GAAAHHH I HOPE YOU ENJOYED ITTT BECAUSE GAAAAHHHHHH


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy wesley is coming over for dinnerr!!!!

You had to lock the bathroom door and the bedroom door as well just so you could get ready for the dinner with Wesley in peace. Winter was feeling _extra_ loving and you just couldn't indulge him at the moment. Sex was incredible but it was also bruising and you really didn't want to explain that to a guest. 

 

"Come on, babe, let me in," Winter begged from the other side of the door

 

"Just a moment!" You shouted out as you put the last touches to get ready

 

You looked at yourself in the mirror and made sure that your blue knee length dress was perfectly fine, "All done," You swung the door open and Winter kissed you greedily, ruining your lipstick in the process

 

"Could you set the table while I get ready, please?" He asked softly, "Wesley should be here in a little while," 

 

You gave him another kiss but before you could go to the kitchen, he smacked your ass. You glared at him but he only laughed loudly and went to take a shower. You adored that he couldn't keep his hands off of you and you didn't want him to keep his hands off of you but sometimes it just made your heart beat a little faster and harder to control your projection. You wiped off your smudged lipstick and put on a natural coloured balm. 

 

As you set the table, the bell rung and Winter was still getting dressed. You opened the door and a large man in a white suit stood in front of you. He almost covered the whole door frame.

 

"Hello," You smiled brightly, "You must be Wesley, I'm Y/N," 

 

"Actually," Another man poked from behind him in a navy suit, "I'm Wesley, this is my friend, Wilson," He held a massive bouquet in his hands and a bottle of wine, "These are for you," 

 

"Oh, hello," You nodded to them both, "Please, come in and thank you so much. It really wasn't necessary but I'm- Thank you. Winter will be with us shortly," You led them into the lounge, "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that you'd be bringing a friend. I'll add another plate setting," 

 

"I do hope it's not an intrusion," Wesley offered, "I had told Winter about Wilson and how he reminded me so much of him. I figured it was only best that they met," 

 

"That's very sweet of you," You acknowledged as you placed the bouquet in a vase, "These are truly stunning. The wine will go wonderfully with the dinner as well," 

 

You sat down with the two men and noticed that Wilson was slightly nervous, whereas Wesley was extremely calm. 

 

"How do you know Alex?" You tried to make conversation but Winter entered and your question never got answered

 

Wilson's hands were by his side as he waited for Wesley to introduce him. You  _felt_  that Wilson really wanted to make a good impression on you both and you felt like that was such a sweet sentiment. You stood quietly as everyone exchanged pleasantries. 

 

"Winter, you remember I told you about a friend of mine, someone who very much loved his fiancé and you reminded me of him?" Wesley asked Winter, "Well, this is Wilson," 

 

The air in the room was easy and comfortable. Winter sat beside you with his arm draped on your shoulders. You got to know that Wilson was actually Wesley's boss but they were good friends as well. Wilson also had a passion for cooking, so, the dinner was being taken care of by him and Winter. 

 

You and Wesley shared a quiet moment as Wilson and Winter put out everything on the table. 

 

"If I may," Wesley's voice was low, "How are you now?" 

 

"I'm great actually," You told him honestly, "I really owe it to Alex, you know. I mean, he got me the best treatment and he didn't ask for anything in return," 

 

"That is  _kind_  of him," He nodded but an odd friction of sarcasm rubbed off in Wesley's words, "And Winter is better too?"

 

"He- Well, he's still adjusting. He keeps telling me that he was terrified- Oh gosh, I'm sorry, you don't want to hear this," You laughed softly and Winter caught your eye from across the room and winked at you

 

"Wilson seems like a man's man. A strong, level-headed man with power," Wesley began, "And he is. He gets things done. He commands power and he's ruthless if need be. I respect him immensely but he- he's also the same man that loves his fiancé so much that he tries to keep every Friday evening just for the two of them so he can cook for her," He smiled at you, "I understand how Winter feels for you because I've seen it before,"

 

"I feel the same about him," Your eyes followed Winter as he and Wilson took out the dinner and placed everything on the table, "Do you ever feel like sometimes that life that been exceptionally kind to you? I feel like I probably did something good in a previous life that I've been given Winter,"

 

"Or perhaps you'll do something to _earn_ him in the future," Wesley whispered and before you could truly react, Wilson asked you two to join them at the table with a soft smile 

 

* * *

 

"What do you think?" Wesley looked at Wilson as the car started

 

"She's a kind soul," Wilson commented, "And she has no idea the weapon she's been turned into?"

 

"Not a clue," Wesley frowned, "It's a dangerous game, sir, if you ask me. Two people in one body? One is bound to break free while the other is in charge,"

 

"You mean that Y/N might come out while Siren is in a fight," Wilson looked at his friend

 

"Or the other way around, sir," Wesley frowned, "Her mind is like a doorway and a door can be used both ways. Pierce holds the key but she may very well be capable of breaking it down too," 

 

* * *

 

"FISK AND WESLEY?! BOTH OF THEM! AND NO ONE BOTHERED TO  _NOTIFY ME_? I WAS TOLD THAT ONLY WESLEY WILL VISIT!" Pierce wasn't just angry, he was livid. 

 

Pierce had found out about the KingPin himself visiting only moments after everyone had sat down to eat. He'd thrown things in his office. Two subordinates had been shot because of his fit of rage. Screens were cracked and wires were hanging because his fury knew no bounds. 

 

"Get me Crossbones," Pierce seethed, " _Now_ ," 

 

* * *

 

"How do you want this handled?" Rumlow was angry just like Pierce but he was cold and his anger was simmering

 

Rumlow knew that he couldn't take it out on Fisk, that's why his focus was Winter. He was going to increase the intensity of the training and see how long it would take for Winter to break. He was still angry for not having you. Rumlow was not a level-headed person and wanted to get even in this one-sided competition.

 

"Quietly," Pierce pinched the bridge of his nose, "Fisk is friendly with HYDRA higher ups and Wesley will lick that man's balls if he was asked to. No, HYDRA can't know that I want them away from the Siren Initiative. I will not have it tainted by others. Do they go anywhere? Do they have any other friends that we don't know about?" 

 

"Y/N's whole world is fuckin' Winter," Rumlow growled, "Weapon X is off the grid and the mutant is being handled by Agent 17. They stay in the apartment most of the time, fucking like rabbits. When they go out, it's just them. They have no other communications," 

 

"I think we'll have to proceed a little quicker than we'd originally planned," Pierce sighed and a twisted smile graced Rumlow's lips

 

* * *

 

You woke up early morning. You felt sore and there was something just  _different_  about everything. You looked over at Winter and noticed a bruising on his face. It had been almost a week since the dinner and the exhaustion wasn't as bad as before but it was still there. You were sleeping a few hours extra. 

 

_How'd you get that?_  You frowned to yourself as you got up to go to the bathroom 

 

When you looked in the mirror, you were surprised, to say the least. Your body was battered and bruised all over but it was healing, thank goodness.

 

"What did we do now?" You rolled your eyes and made a point to talk to Winter about being careful because people outside wouldn't see this as lovemaking, they'd see it as abuse but at least you healed

 

_At least I get better quickly enough_ , You sighed as you washed your face and brushed your teeth

 

You thought about what date it was and then your eyes shot open. You took out your phone and went through the calendar because that's how you kept track of your periods. You were late. Your heart rate shot through the roof and Winter jumped out of bed. 

 

"What the fuck?!" He gasped as anxiety flooded him 

 

"Sorry!" You called from the bathroom

 

"You alright?" He knocked loudly and you kept staring at your phone's screen, "Doll?" He opened the door and met your eyes

 

"You need to get me a pregnancy test," You whispered softly, "I- We haven't- We didn't use-," 

 

"Are you-," Winter's worry flooded your body and you swallowed thickly

 

"I don't- I'm- I'm not sure-," You heart was thundering your ears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shiiiitttttttt
> 
> but like also DON"T WORRY WE"LL ALL BE OHKY!!!!


	26. Chapter 26

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest and Winter's worry was washing off of him in waves. 

 

"I'm-," Your throat was dry, "I'm so-," The words couldn't leave your lips because Winter had wrapped his arms around you as he engulfed your into a warm hug 

 

He held you without words and his worry had been placed with love, devotion, and affection. You were trembling with fear and worry. You'd never thought you would be late. You never thought you'd have to worry. 

 

"We'll figure this out," He whispered to you softly, "We'll figure it out together and I'll stand by whatever you decide," 

 

"I'm- We just- I  _just_  fell in love with you," Tears burned your eyes, "We're too y-," 

 

"I'll stand by you," Winter held your face and looked into your eyes fiercely, "I will stand by you. I promise," 

 

You nodded slowly. You were still scared. 

 

"I'll go down to the pharmacy and I'll be back as soon as I can," He assured you, "Will you be alright on your own? Do you want me to call someone?" 

 

"No!" You gasped, "No. No one needs to worry right now. Let's just- Let's just get this cleared out first," 

 

"Okay," Winter kissed your cheek and left you standing the empty bedroom

 

You didn't know who to call. Your mind was racing. 

 

_It's a false alarm. I'm just late. I'm just late. It's nothing._  You tried to calm yourself down but it wasn't really working. You looked at your phone and dialled a number. 

 

* * *

 

Amanda's mind was running wild and against herself. She turned to look at Remy who was asleep next to her. His bare back faced her and her angry nail marks stretched across from the night before. She loved him. She loved him so much. Could she risk him? She didn't know. She was thinking about what to do. She had money, she had the means, she had the resources, she just needed the push.

 

_I could just disappear. I could run away and never look back._  She thought to herself.

 

Amanda had been contemplating it ever since you'd gone through the procedure and survived. Her guilt was eating her alive. She was losing weight because of it as well. Her appetite had diminished too.  _I could just... leave._  Her heart was heavy. You didn't deserve what was coming for you and it was all her fault that you were even on HYDRA's radar and she knew it.

 

However, she also knew that if she chose to run away, it would mean a life in the shadows, hidden away from the world for as long as possible until... well, until HYDRA found and killed her. She thought to herself if she could- if she could truly do that to herself. She didn't know. She wasn't sure.

 

The phone buzzed and she picked it up before Remy stirred. Your name flashed on the screen. 

 

"Hey honey," Amanda whispered softly as she slipped out of bed and tiptoed to another room, "What's wrong babygirl?" Her voice was low as she heard your sniffing, "Did Winter do something? Should I get Remy?"

 

"I- We weren't careful," You spoke between the hiccups 

 

"What happened honey?" She spoke to you like any mother would, "You'd tell me if Winter hurt you, right? Please tell me he didn't hurt you. Please tell me it wasn't him," Amanda's voice was shaking too because she knew was what Winter was capable of, she knew the soldier that lived inside him, she'd seen him in action and he was brutal.

 

"N-no," You sniffed again, "He didn't- He didn't hurt me,"

 

"What happened then?" She asked again, her voice soft and comforting 

 

"We weren't careful," You took a deep breath and evened out your voice, "Since I came back from the- from the hospital. We weren't- We didn't use protection,"

 

"Are you pregnant?" Amanda tried not to gasp because that would've made you feel worse, "Did you get tested?" 

 

"No," You swallowed, "I just saw today that I'm- that I'm late," 

 

"How late? Let's not jump to conclusions, alright?" She chuckled and tried to ease the tension

 

"A few days," You sighed, "I'm late by a few days. Winter went to get the tests," 

 

"You told him that you're late?" Amanda was surprised, "Why not just go get it yourself?"

 

"Funny story," You laughed lowly, "We've been  _loving_  each other a lot and the bruises are pretty bad," 

 

Amanda giggled with her hand covering her mouth so she wouldn't be too loud and you felt yourself smiling as well. You felt at ease. 

 

"Well, who would've thought you'd be a freak, sweetheart," She commented with a chuckle, "But hey, a few days is nothing. You were sick, your body is still a little off track. Get tested first, then worry. This doesn't mean anything, alright? It could just be a false alarm,"

 

"Are you sure?" You whispered as worry gnawed at the back of your head

 

"I'm positive!" Amanda told you cheerfully, "Trust me. You're not pregnant. You'll get your periods soon,"  _Didn't they keep the soldier sterilized on missions? But this isn't a usual mission,_  She thought to herself as tears burned the back of her eyes and remembered that they saw Winter as less than an animal rather than a human

 

"Okay," You repeated a few times, "Thank you. I think Winter's home. I'll talk to you later," 

 

"Sure thing, honey," She stated with a happy tone and hung up

 

Silence engulfed Amanda and her mind began to race once more. 

 

"I could," She whispered to herself as she squeezed her eyes shut tightly as tears fell like raindrops, "I could run," 

 

Amanda slipped down to the floor and Remy still slept soundly in the other room. She just couldn't do it anymore.

 

* * *

 

"Baby?" Winter's voice echoed through the apartment, "I didn't know which one to get so I got a bunch," 

 

You walked out of the bedroom and in his hands were two bags full of pregnancy tests. You smiled at him because you loved him.  _Goodness_ , you loved him so much, it hurt your heart. You didn't know that you could hold so much admiration inside yourself for someone but here you were. 

 

"I don't think I'll need so many," You patted his cheek, "I'll just- I'll use a few and you can return the rest, I guess," 

 

He followed you like a lost puppy but you locked the bathroom door and the waiting game began. You tried out five tests. Just to be sure. You sat down on the floor and leaned against the door. 

 

"Don't be scared," Winter's voice came from the other side, he was leaning against the door too

 

"Back in New Orleans, I used to volunteer at the local shelter with Logan sometimes," You wanted to talk about anything but the tests that were in front of you, "He always told me that  _if you can raise a pup, you can raise a kid_ ," You felt the tears coming again, "I never got to raise a pup," 

 

"You wanna get a dog?" He laughed and you smiled too 

 

"No- I don't know- Maybe," You weren't sure, "Might be good practice," 

 

"Okay," He said softly, "We'll go to the shelter tomorrow and look for a pup," You didn't answer, "Babe? Y/N?" 

 

The lock clicked and you opened the door. Winter stood and took the tests from you.  _Negative_. All of them.

 

"But- You're- What?" He was confused

 

"False alarm," You felt embarrassed for creating an issue, "But like, we can't be careless anymore. We can't- We have to-," 

 

Winter smiled, "My baby mama is back to being shy again, huh?" He howled with laughter and you groaned loudly as you brushed past him and fell into bed

 

"You know, usually people wait to become fathers before making dad jokes," You mumbled as you fell exhaustion take over you 

 

* * *

 

The next few days, you and Winter just waited. You'd called Amanda and told her that all the tests had come out negative. About five days later, you got your periods, however, this time it felt like nothing at all. No pain, no cramps, no uneasiness and no mood swings either. 

 

You assumed that it was the mutantcy that was taking away the pain or perhaps it was your exponential healing factor because of which you didn't feel any pain. Either way, you weren't complaining. The little pregnancy scare had made Winter turn extremely vigilant about all your sexual encounters. He'd gotten condoms and placed them in every drawer of every room. He didn't support birth control pills because he'd read too much on it and the side effects terrified him more than they worried you. 

 

Your heart was sinking as August ended and the leaves turned their colours because it also meant that like the season, your time was coming soon. The semester was supposed to start soon, which meant, you were supposed to go back soon.

 

* * *

 

"What do you want to do, sir?" Wesley sat across Fisk 

 

"She could prove to be an extremely useful asset," Fisk nodded, "However, I don't like Alex's methods. They're crude and primitive. The Winter Program could've reached brilliant heights if he had just treated that boy like a...-,"

 

"Human?" Wesley completed Fisk's sentence and he nodded uneasily

 

Fisk worked alongside HYDRA because it was profitable but he didn't work under them because he disagreed with many of their methods. One of those methods was how they treated their assets. Wesley looked at his friend, at his boss, he took off his glasses and took a deep breath. 

 

"Y/N is a good person. She's had no criminal record. She's not a killer. She's had a misfortune of being a mutant and being found by Pierce and not by anyone else who could actually train her into becoming herself, not reprogramming her brain into something she was never meant to be," 

 

"You mean, she never had a fortune of being found by someone like Stick?" Fisk smirked and Wesley nodded

 

"Something like that, sir," Wesley sighed, "Perhaps- Perhaps it's better if we just-,"

 

"Observe for now?" Fisk asked and Wesley agreed because they both knew that it was only a matter of time that everything in your mind collapsed like a house of cards

 

* * *

 

You sat in the library and played a soft tune on the piano as you hummed a song along the music. You were recording a video to send Remy and Amanda. 

 

"I can feel you staring," You stated with a smirk without looking up from the music sheet

 

"You songs pull me in, Siren," Winter remarked as he joined you by your side

 

"I-," You stopped playing, "How come you call me that?" 

 

"What?" He cocked a brow, "Siren?" You flinched slightly 

 

"Yeah- I mean- I don't know why- It just- It doesn't feel  _right_ when you say it," You frowned and went back to playing the piano 

 

"Why didn't you say something before?" He asked you softly because he'd called you Siren for a while now

 

"It just started recently- I mean- I liked it before but now- Now I don't. I can't really explain it," You closed your eyes and took a breath but an image flashed in your head and you felt as if Rumlow was calling you Siren and it made you want to throw up

 

"Okay," Winter kissed your cheek, "Just Y/N it is. What are you doing anyway?" 

 

"I thought about recording some tapes for Remy and Amanda," You smiled brightly, "Remy isn't the type to stay with someone for so long, so, I think Amanda's good for him. I wanted to do something nice," 

 

"That's sweet of you, doll," He whispered and the hair on the back of your neck stood as his breath fanned your neck, "You're really sweet, you know,"

 

"You're doing that thing again," You giggled as you tried to focus on the music

 

"What's that, babe?" He kissed your neck softly as he pulled your shirt off of your shoulder

 

"That," You groaned as you stopped playing and gave into him, "You're distracting me," 

 

"Is that what I'm doin'?" He laughed and pulled you closer to himself

 

You back was pressed against his chest and his cold metal hand had snuck into your shirt. You let your head fall back onto his shoulder and you moaned with pleasure as his cool fingers tweaked your breasts. You could feel Winter hardening behind yourself and you pushed yourself onto him even more.

 

"The things you do to me- Fuck," He groaned in your ear and you feel his lust pulsating through your veins

 

Your breath was caught in your throat and the next thing you knew, Winter had turned you around. His lips came crashing against yours and you tasted coffee on his tongue. It was bitter but it sent a shiver through your spine. The sounds of the piano keys echoed in the air as he picked you up and took you on the grand piano. 

 

* * *

 

"How's the training proceeding?" Pierce was somewhat pleased with your progression

 

"We've got a new exercise lined up for tonight," Rumlow explained, "No fights, no simulations, we're going to focus on her programming. Make it stick. Her feelings for Winter aren't helpful in scenarios where he needs to be put down," 

 

"This is all just a failsafe," Pierce stared at Rumlow, "I expect them to work together,"

 

"She'll break his programming. They can't run together," Rumlow stated clearly, "It will mess up the whole operation," 

 

"What do you want to do then?" Pierce bit the bait

 

"New training. New programming," Rumlow smirked, "Siren won't have a heart for Winter. Not when I'm done with her," 

 

* * *

 

The floor was cold and Winter's arm was wrapped around your waist. He kept kissing your shoulder and neck, periodically. 

 

"You ruined the tape," You turned to face Winter, "I can't send that to Remy. He'll kill himself if he ever heard me swearing like that- Or ever saw me like that!" 

 

"Oh, come on, doll," Winter laughed loudly, "You're a grown woman,"

 

"Only with you," You kissed the tip of his nose, "Or did you forget that?"

 

"How could I ever?" He winked at you, "How about this, you record when I'm out? So you don't  _blame_  me for distracting you,"

 

"Blame you?" You gasped, "You do distract me! You menace!"

 

"Your menace, baby," He crinkled his nose and you rolled your eyes, "Come on, you love me," 

 

"I do," You kissed him softly, "I do,"

 

"Just one more  _I do_ and you're mine," He whispered and your eyes went wide with shock

 

"Winter- What?" You stuttered but your phone's ringtone echoed from another room

 

You freed yourself from Winter's arms and went to see who was calling even though you knew that it would only be either Amanda or Remy or Logan. 

 

It was an unknown number.

 

"Hello?" You answered the phone

 

"Y/N?" A familiar voice came through, "Listen to me, I don't have much time. You need to run. Call Logan, tell them HYDRA found you. You run. Forget Winter and run," 

 

"What? Who's calling? Hello?" You heart thundered, "Hello?!"

 

"Babe?" Winter called out, "Everything alright?" 

 

"Just a fuckin' prank call," You rolled your eyes and tossed your phone on the bed, "Hey, listen, I've been thinking about us," 

 

"And?" He smirked as he stalked closer

 

"And I'm supposed to go back in the fall," You frowned, "How is this going to work?" 

 

"I'll transfer my credits and I'll move to New Orleans," He said it without even thinking, "I know that's your home and you're my home. I'll follow you however far you want me to," 

 

"I love you," You hugged him and a sincere affection settled in the air

 

* * *

 

"We need to move them," Rumlow burst through the doors, "We need to move Winter and Siren. Out of the country. Now,"

 

"What's going on?" Pierce frowned at the sudden intrusion

 

"Agent 17," Rumlow spat, "She called Y/N to warn her. She's on the run but just before she disappeared, she called Y/N from a payphone to warn her of us," 

 

Rumlow played the recording of the phone call.

 

_"Call Logan, tell them HYDRA found you. You run. Forget Winter and run,"_  Amanda's voice echoed and then a silence fell

 

"Did Y/N say anything to the asset?" Pierce was having a crisis 

 

"No, not yet," Rumlow shook his head, "She thought it was just a prank call- But if she tells that  _animal_  about what she was told-,"

 

"It could all come undone," Pierce nodded, "Do what needs to be done- Discreetly- The mutant would be suspicious for the disappearance of Agent 17 and his first instinct would be to call Y/N,"

 

* * *

 

You sat at the piano once more but the melody that played was anything but happy. 

 

"Something wrong?" Winter stood at the door 

 

"Amanda left Remy," You sniffed as the tears fell from your eyes, "She didn't even say goodbye to him- She just- She left," 

 

"Maybe she had a reason to," He offered as sat beside her, "You don't know what was going on in her life," 

 

"She never liked Remy," You kept playing the music, "I just- Remy is a good person- He- He deserved better,"

 

"Did he call?" Winter asked softly and you nodded

 

"Yeah- Well- No, he didn't call- He sent a text- _Amanda left without even a goodbye_ , just that," You stopped playing, "He deserved better,"

 

"What's he doing now?" He wiped your tears

 

"He's closing the club for a while," You took a deep breath, "I called him- He seemed to be alright but he's just- He's deflecting. I know him- He's hurt. He really liked her and she made him happy. I thought she was happy too- I just- I don't understand. He said he wanted to close the club for a while and travel," 

 

"Maybe that's what we should do too," He suggested, "How about we take a trip to France? I've always wanted to go there. We could go together," 

 

"Yeah- Maybe," You smiled and wondered how you got so lucky

 

* * *

 

"It's amusing, isn't it?" Wesley chuckled softly, "Pierce hasn't even reached his Icarus and he's already begun to burn," 

 

"Now, Wesley, it is unlike you to take pleasure in the misfortune of others," Wisk noticed thoughtfully

 

"True, sir. However, I loathe Alex with a passion that is new even to me. Y/N is an asset of great strengths, even Sergent Barnes is a worthy asset, but his need to chain them and treat them like animals is- Well, it's disgusting," Wesley rightfully pointed out, "I believe we should step back for now- Take interest in this matter after Icarus dies," 

 

* * *

 

"The new programming took quite well," Pierce stated smugly, "Winter suggested France the next day to Siren and she agreed wholeheartedly," 

 

"They'll be out in no time," Rumlow nodded, "And from then on out, no more Y/N Y/L/N, just our little Siren,"

 

"Play the latest tapes, please," Pierce was in an exceptionally good mood

 

"You'll like what comes on," Rumlow whispered to Pierce

 

The room darkened and two screens illuminated. On one, it showed Winter. He was strapped to a chair, he was being electrocuted as his new programming was being broken into his system. On the other screen, it showed you, staring off into space blankly and Rumlow sitting across you.

 

"State your name," Rumlow's voice echoed 

 

"Siren," Your voice was even 

 

"Good girl," Rumlow praised, "Do do you know why you're here?"

 

"To train," You reasoned 

 

"Correct again," Rumlow clapped with a smile, "Now, stand up, strip, point to every injury and bruise, tell me how you got it,"

 

You stood and as the articles of clothes dropped to the floor, Rumlow's eyes pooled with lust. In a matter of moments, you stood naked and your body was littered with bruises.

 

You pointed to your stomach, "This is from Tuesday's training in the simulation chamber with Winter," You pointed to your neck, "This is where an agent bit me during the same training," You pointing to your breast, "This is when Winter and I made love Tuesday evening," 

 

"Pause," Pierce gasped and turned to look at Rumlow, who said with a very smug expression, "Siren knows everything about Y/N but Y/N knows nothing about the Siren," Rumlow nodded with a smirk

 

"The programming took better than we expected," Rumlow chuckled softly, "We can move to the next phase now- We don't have to worry about anything," 

 

"Just wait for Y/N to tell the mutant that she's travelling," Pierce stated, "That'll give us a few hours head start," 

 

"Understood sir," Rumlow nodded as an evil smile graced his lips, "We'll prepare everything,"

 

* * *

 

"Are you sure about this?" You were packing for the trip that Winter had suggested to take, "What if customs stop you?"

 

"Doll, this ain't metal, if that's what you're worried about," Winter smiled, "We're goin' in a private jet- No customs, no security checkups- No need for you to worry. Hey, did you tell Remy that we were going out of the country?"

 

"No," You gasped, "I didn't. Thanks for the reminder. Let me just drop a text," You quickly typed out a message that you were going to take a small trip with Winter so you would be out of touch for a while, "I just- I can't help but feel like-," Your heart was sinking but the bell rang and you stopped in your tracks because you weren't expecting anyone

 

"Hold on, let me see who it is," Winter told you and went out of the room, leaving by yourself

 

"Who was it, Winter?" You came out and saw Pierce and Rumlow in the kitchen

 

A dreadful feeling of deja vu took over you as you saw Winter staring into space and a gun on the counter. Rumlow said something and then everything went dark. 

 

You stood in the kitchen, your eyes were glassy and your expression was vacant. Winter stood next to you and Rumlow made you look at him by pushing up your chin with his index finger. He placed a soft kiss on your lips but you didn't register it. Your body was just a shell for the moment. 

 

"I missed you, girlie," Rumlow whispered in such a low octave that not even Winter could've heard him

 

"Perfect," Pierce smirked, "Load them in," 

 

HYDRA members came in with containment pods and you and Winter loaded into them. 

 

"You're putting them in Cyro?" Rumlow was confused

 

"They're in suspended state," Pierce dismissed him, "Just for the travel. Don't worry, you'll get your way with Siren,"

 

"I'll hold you to that," Rumlow roared with laughter and you two were wheeled away, "Let the games begin," 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took a while to put up  
> real life has been really messy as of late  
> please send help and good vibes  
> also - drop a message on tumblr - i'm really looking to make friends online 
> 
> secondly - next chapter is going to be really angsty so like - you've been warneddd


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning - TON OF ANGST COMING YOUR WAAAYYYY
> 
> also - please look up taylor kitsch because that's remy "gambit" lebeau  
> he's really amazing and like - he's a babe - so yeah - SUPER relevant to the plot that you look him up   
> thanks

Fragments. There were fragments. Pieces of memories or rather, dreams of what could have been memories. There was too much to remember. Your own body was fighting against itself. You had nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. After all, how could anyone hide from their own mind?

 

_There's something missing_ , Your brain assessed as you stood stoically in the middle of...  _Where am I? What am I missing?_

"Siren!" A voice cracked, "Come here and give your mission report!" Your world began to darken again but a voice cut through

 

There was a man, he was speaking in another language but you understood it. He had grey-blue eyes, they shined so brightly but they were bloodshot. You knew those eyes. You knew those eyes so well. You blinked a few times and a soft smile graced your lips. You didn't know that was a mistake. He was strapped in a chair and no one was doing anything to him but dread was beginning to gnaw under your skin.  

 

"Who- Who is that?" Your own voice seemed foreign to yourself 

 

"You don't know?" A man cocked a brow, "That's the Asset? Winter? Ring any bells?"

 

You frowned, "Not really,"

 

"Huh, the programming finally took," The man stalked closer to you clicked his tongue and you wanted to vomit

 

_Do I hate him? Why do I hate him?_  You didn't know the answer

 

"Mission report, Siren," He asked again and words flowed out of you

 

"The target was hit but she got away. We weren't expecting that she would be given external help. There was an archer with her that aided Widow's escape. The archer couldn't locate me but he did try to shoot at the- the asset," Your stutter was mistake number two as you stole a glance at the Asset, "We believe that the tracker in the bullet would still be in the target, so, we can go after her again,"

 

"Siren," The man leaned closer and your heart dropped

 

_What's going on? Think Siren- No, that's not my name? What's my name?_  Your mind was clouded and you were staring at the floor. Mistake number three

 

"Who am I?" The man crossed his arms over his chest and your eyes went glassy as you looked up

 

"You- You're- Uh," You swallowed as you took a step back and that's when you heard it

 

The blood-curdling scream of a man you'd once loved echoed through you. Like puzzle pieces beginning to fall into place or rather, a picture of illusion shattering into pieces, your eyes burned with anger and tears as suddenly everything slowed down. You could feel your thundering heartbeat slowing down to a singular beat per minute, the man in front of you was blinking but his eyes were only half closed. 

 

"Crossbones," You gasped and your head whipped to see that wasn't just  _some_  man in the chair, strapped and hooked to wires, being electrocuted- It was Winter. It was  _your_ Winter.

 

All your programming fell apart and you suddenly landed a right hook onto Rumlow's face. You still didn't know who you were or even- what you could do. All your basic instincts were towards one singular goal. **Save Winter**. 

 

Winter's eyes met yours and his illusion cracked as well. A loud scream rumbled from his chest as he broke free of the straps and ran towards you but you and him were outnumbered greatly. Before he could get to you, Rumlow came in front of your face.

 

"I'll enjoy putting you down in front of him," He snarled and you punched him with a right underhook. 

 

The men flooded the chamber you were in but you were just guessing that it was a chamber. Rumlow stumbled and your eyes caught Winter fighting off of men by himself too.

 

"Just you and me, girlie," Rumlow spat and you screamed as you lunged towards him

 

You kicked him square in the chest and he stumbled again, hitting the wall behind himself. You buried him under punches and you screamed until your throat was raw. The programming did crack because you didn't keep track of your surroundings. You felt pressure at the back of your neck and then suddenly, darkness consumed you again.

 

* * *

 

"Fuckin' animals!" Rumlow screamed, "And you!" He pointed towards Winter, who was being held down by multiple people, "I'll deal with you later," He spat on his face and then repeated the string of words that rendered him docile 

 

You groaned away and the fog cleared from your mind again.

 

"WINTER!!" You screamed as you tried to lunge forward but that's when you realized that you were strapped into something that looked like a pod, "Let him go!!" 

 

"Hush now," Rumlow laughed, "Even now, you're worried more about him? How sweet," 

 

"Please. Please!!" You begged as your voice grew hoarse, "Let him go!" The straps dug into your wrists and red liquid began to seep through the bands

 

"We're going to put you away for a very long time, Siren," Rumlow chuckled and your eyes strayed from him to meet Winter's

 

His expression was something you remembered, or rather, you dreamt of remembering from so long ago. His eyes were vacant and he stood like a statue. His eyes met yours but there was no emotion in them. Just a colour that you knew you once loved so much. 

 

"Eyes here, Siren," Rumlow tapped on the glass that contained you

 

"THAT'S NOT MY NAME!" You growled and you tried to break free but nothing changed

 

"Really now? What's your name then?" His tone challenged but your mind's fog hadn't been cleared well enough

 

You knew who Winter was. He was yours. You knew that. You knew that with all your heart but even Winter called you Siren at times. 

 

"What's your name,  _Siren_?" He repeated himself and you shook your head to shake his venomous away from yourself

 

You didn't know why but he made you feel filthy. You just  _knew_  that he was vile and wrong and he'd done something bad to you. 

 

"You're just getting boring now," Rumlow rolled his eyes, "Time for you to sleep," 

 

"No!!" You shouted again, "Winter- Please! Winter, save me!!" 

 

"Keep at it, darlin'. He ain't comin' for you," Rumlow's eyes darkened as he laughed, "No one is," 

 

"No, no, no," You struggled as hard as you could, "Winter! Winter, save me!"

 

A gas released into the pod and your body went limp. Your mind went into overdrive and you kept struggling and shouting.  _Winter, please. Save me._  Just one thought played on a loop. 

 

* * *

 

"Winter!!" You screamed, "Save me!!" Your throat was raw and you passed out from exhaustion

 

"It's alright, bub," Logan caught you before you hit the floor, "It's gonna be alright,"

 

"Je vous garderai le coffre-fort, mon amour," Remy took you from Logan's arms and carried you to the room that Tony had assigned for you

 

"What now?" Logan looked at Tony for answers

 

"Now," Tony took a deep breath, "Now, we wait and see how much she knows and how much needs to be healed," 

 

"How long you think she been like that?" Logan's voice dropped to a whisper

 

"Not long," Tony bit the inside of his cheek as he stared at the reports, "Less than ten years," 

 

"So, you think they put her under in '05?" Logan cocked a brow, "Remy and me looked for her for years and you're tellin' me that she ain't been in that thing for even ten years?" 

 

"There's a lot you don't know," Bruce interjected, "She's- She woke up in stress- Meaning she went down fighting- That's why they put her away,"

 

"Thanks for helpin' us, Tony," Logan sighed, "How'd you know she was about to wake up?"

 

"There was a sudden change in her vitals," Bruce explained and Tony stared out the window because he was unsure of how Logan would react, "Tony and I thought it's best that if only the three of us know for now," 

 

Bruce handed Logan the file and Logan went through the pages. Eternal life also meant some form of eternal knowledge. 

 

"Are you sure about this? Jesus Christ, what did they do to her," Logan's heart dropped 

 

"Well, that's why we're here, big man," Tony broke out his million-dollar smile, "Don't worry. We'll figure it out together," 

 

"She'll need help, no doubt," Bruce nodded, "But Steve has experience with being under and Sam could help with possible PTSD," 

 

"I'm glad I brought her to you," Logan smirked softly

 

"Don't go all mushy on us, claws," Tony laughed and left the room

 

"He always like that?" Logan sighed and shook his head

 

"Tony put all his time into bringing Y/N back," Bruce confessed, "He feels like she's his responsibility; like you do. He's not good with emotions and if everything in this report is accurate, then, we're in for a very long ride," 

 

* * *

 

Everything hurt. Your body felt drained. Your throat was raw but your wrists didn't hurt badly and you were on a surface that felt like a cloud. _Winter? The season?_  Your thoughts were still consumed by him. You felt a hand on yours and you tried to open your eyes but everything just felt so heavy. A familiar voice was whispering to you. 

 

" _I'll always keep you safe, my love,_ Gambit,  _swears it_ ," He kept repeating but your eyes felt too heavy to open

 

You gave his hand a soft squeeze and a chuckle escaped him.

 

" _My love?_ " He whispered, "It's Remy, I'm here,"

 

You parted your lips but no voice came. Your throat hurt still. 

 

"Water,  _my love_?" He asked and you squeezed his hand again

 

No more than a moment later, you felt something at your lips. A leap of faith made you drink the cool liquid and you were thankful that you did. You felt it healing you almost instantly. You forced your eyes to open and you found yourself seeing a pair of eyes that you had almost forgotten.

 

"Hello,  _my love_ ," The red-eyed man smiled, "Gambit is so sorry for letting you slip away,"

 

"W- Where?" Your voice cracked, "Where am I?"

 

"You're at the Stark Tower," He explained, "We brought yo- What is the last thing you remember?"

 

"I-," You tried to remember, you forced yourself to remember

 

_The last thing. What was the last thing?_  You searched your thoughts but nothing came to you

 

"Do you remember Gambit?" He asked softly and you stared at him 

 

"Re- Remy," You gasped as you clapped your hands over your mouth

 

" _Yes, my love, yes_ ," He pulled you closer and you wrapped your arms around him, "You came back to Gambit," 

 

"I don't-" Tears burned your eyes as you pulled away, "I can't remember- Everything is- It's all-," 

 

"Gambit will help you remember," Remy promised, "We'll be alright,  _my love_ ," 

 

"How did- What happened? How could I forget? What's going on?" You couldn't string your thoughts together

 

* * *

 

"There is something wrong," Remy called Logan's burner phone, "Gambit hasn't heard from Y/N in too long,"

 

"How long is too long, bub?" Logan asked because Remy was never the one to worry without cause

 

"Two days," Remy sighed, "She told Gambit that she was travelling with that homme she has been living with but that was two days ago,"

 

"Did you ask Amanda? Maybe Y/N spoke to her?" Logan was wishing, hoping, praying that something would clear out

 

"Amanda left, mon ami. She never said goodbye, she left Gambit- She left Gambit  _five_ days ago!" L'enfer foutu, elle y est connectée!!" Remy shouted, "Meet Gambit in Seattle tomorrow,"

 

"Remy- I'm not in the country-," Logan tried to explain

 

"Tomorrow, mon ami," Remy hung up without waiting for Logan to explain 

 

His scream reverbed through the club, cracking, if not breaking the glasses and windows all around him.  _Gambit will come for you, mon amour_. He swore to himself. 

 

* * *

 

Remy got to Seattle but from there, it was his best guess and the pictures which you'd sent him. Those were his only clues. The Polaroids. The backgrounds, the sceneries, that's all he had to go on with. 

 

He went first went to the university to talk to the roommate but it turned out that she had left as well. He had a really bad feeling that whatever was going on, it was bigger than he had imagined. 

 

When he finally found the first place that seemed the most familiar, it was abandoned. 

 

"Somethin' ain't right," Remy whispered to himself as he stared at the shell of a cafe that once was and fixed his sunglasses, "Excuse me," He stopped a couple that was passing by, "I'm lookin' for a friend, have you seen his girl?" He showed a picture of you with Logan and him

 

"No, sorry," The girl shrugged, "You know her, babe?" The guy with her also shook his head

 

"Well, thank you for your time," Remy tipped his hat and moved on

 

* * *

 

It was another day until Logan was able to join him. Even through his journey, he tried to pick up street chatter. 

 

"Somethin' really ain't right, mon ami," Remy groaned, "Gambit found the cafe but it's abandoned. The roommate isn't there anymore and the building in which Y/N was- Gambit found it to be scheduled for demolition," 

 

"This is really elaborate," Logan grimaced, "There's- What if- It couldn't be Stryker, could it?"

 

"No, mon ami, he's not this... careful," Remy paced in the small motel room they'd rented out, "This is bigger," 

 

"Do you have a picture of that guy that Y/N was seein',? Logan asked and Remy nodded 

 

He rummaged through his things and pulled out a few pictures. However, in almost all of them, Winter's hair was covering his face but there was one picture in which his arm was visible.

 

"Fuck," The picture slipped from Logan's hand, "It's HYDRA,"

 

"Are you sure?" Remy's heart stopped

 

"I know an assassin when I see one," Logan finished his beer, "And I can see that look- I know that- I know that  _arm_. He's a ghost and he's dangerous," 

 

"Putain," Remy whispered, "What- How will-,"

 

"We need to find her- Before they- Before they turn her into-," Logan couldn't finish his thoughts 

 

"Where do we even start?" Remy ran his fingers through his hair

 

"We start by finding Amanda- But if she's HYDRA then she's long gone by now," Logan gathered his thoughts, "Where did Y/N say she was goin'?"

 

"France- But Gambit doesn't even know if Y/N was taken out of the country or not!" Remy was growing hostile and Logan couldn't blame him

 

"We'll start here- Then move out," Logan begun to plan

 

* * *

 

"It took Gambit and Logan years to find you," Remy sighed, "When we did- You were- You were in Cyro," 

 

"Logan- Where's Logan?" You stuttered, "Oh my god, how could I forget Logan," Tears burned your eyes again and you were surprised that you still had some left

 

"How you holdin' up, kid?" Logan entered the room

 

"Logan!" You breathed his name, "Oh my god," You blinked away the tears and pulled him in for a hug but never let Remy's hand slip away from yours

 

Logan kissed your temple and breathed you in. You were home. You were finally home. 

 

"Feels like I haven't seen you in a lifetime," You confessed as Logan pulled away and caught the frown on both the men's faced, "What?"

 

" _My love_ , it has been a lifetime," Remy caressed your cheek and you stared at him in disbelief

 

"It's 2015," Logan ripped off the band-aid but it hurt like hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOHHHKKYYYY  
> ohhhhboyooo
> 
> we're in 2015 fall now - ultron was defeated a few months agoooo   
> so like - ohky cool - we're caught up now  
> INTO THE PRESENT!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> oh also - remy's dialouges are italicized because the reader has been trained to know many many languages - so - she knows french too so like - no need to french it anymore  
> HOWEVER he'll still be speaking french when it's not her he's talking tooooo


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry but i SWEAR it will slowly get better!! i promise!!   
> also also - again - please look up taylor kitsch because HOT DAMN

"What the hell?" Your heart rate went off the rails, "What are you saying? Oh my god," 

 

The room began to shake as your anxiety seeped into the walls due to the new revelations. A darkness began to form around the ceiling. 

 

"Logan," Remy warned his friend who was also suddenly very wary of his surroundings

 

"Kid, you need to calm down," Logan held your shoulders, "We'll figure this out,"

 

"What's happening?" You were trembling, "Is this an earthquake?" 

 

" _My love_ , you're causing this, you must calm down," Remy explained but you didn't understand

 

"What- How- Wait- Am I... Am I a mutant? I'm a mutant," Your brain went into overdrive and memories came back to you but the room didn't stop shaking and the darkness overhead was still thick

 

"Y/N," Logan's voice cut through the silence, "I know it's hard, bub," He sat down in front of you and Remy got up, "But I need you to think really hard for me, alright?" He held your hands and you nodded, "You gotta remember- What was the last thing you can remember?" 

 

"I-" Your eyes flicked from Logan's to Remy's, both of them encouraging you to remember, "I- Remember- I was- I wasn't alone- There was someone with me," Remy's frown wasn't lost on you, you could  _feel_  his uneasiness, "You're not happy," You looked up at him, "Why?"

 

" _My love_ , it's not what you think," Remy tried to explain but you'd already withdrawn yourself from Logan

 

"I'm- I love you both- I remember you- I remembering loving you both but- but a second ago I didn't even remember I was a mutant-," Tears burned your eyes again, "So, someone tell me what the fuck is going on or I'm leaving," 

 

"Kid," Logan tried to reason but you were counting your blessings that there weren't any drips for you to rip out of your skin

 

"I'm not a child, Logan!" You shouted as you threw off the sheets and made your way to the door

 

"Y/N," Remy grabbed your arm but instincts kicked in and you twisted his wrist, turned him around with full force and the next thing Remy knew was that his face was against the door and you were holding his hand in an arm lock behind his back 

 

"Don't touch me," You growled but then the weight of the situation came down on you

 

You blinked a few times before letting Remy go and stumbled back. 

 

"I need- I gotta leave," You whispered to yourself as you  _escaped_  the room

 

Remy wanted to come after you but Logan held him back. As soon as you exited the corridor, you breath got caught in your throat. A red coloured man floated across the rooms and disappeared into the wall. You gasped and ran the other way. The windows gave nothing away. It was night time and the city looked like the stars had found a new home on the ground. 

 

Every hallway, every corridor, it seemed familiar but so different. 

 

_It's not 2015! I'm not in the fucking future!!_  You screamed in your head as you tried to locate an exit 

 

"Elevator!!" You squealed as you ran towards it but there was a very familiar looking man with brown hair in it so you made a sharp turn and almost slipped but that didn't stop you from running

 

"Where the fuck am I?!" You shouted as you ran down the staircase that seemed to have to end

 

Finally, you found the door that opened into the street. You ran out through an alleyway and the cold air hit you in the face. You wrapped your arms around yourself and realized that you had no shoes on. You blinked as you stared at the buildings all around. It wasn't the same as before- You weren't in Seattle but there were orange decorations everywhere. 

 

"Excuse me," You stopped a lady, "I'm sorry, I lost my phone, what's the date?" 

 

She looked at you and you looked down at yourself as well. You were in white pyjamas and a white shirt.  _Hospital clothes_ , You grimaced but kept a brave front

 

"The date, ma'am?" You smiled again 

 

"Do you need help, sweetheart?" She whispered to you and your anger was gnawing beneath your skin 

 

"I'm perfectly fine- I just- Can you tell me the date please?" You gritted your teeth and she frowned, you sensed her annoyance too 

 

"It's the 29th," She shot back and walked on 

 

"29th, 29th, 29th," You looked around and gasped, "Of October?! Fuck- I lost- It was- It was just-," Your heart was pounding against your ribcage and the cold air was making you shiver

 

"You alright there?" Someone called out and you just nodded numbly as you leaned against the cold wall 

 

"Hey, you lost?" A voice asked, it seemed closer, "Maybe we can get you warmed up inside?" You were hit with a wave of happiness and excitement, "Come on," 

 

"I don't know you, bud, so, why don't you back off?" You stared at him but his smile was just so  _inviting_

"My name's on the building, kiddo," He laughed, "I'm Tony, come on in. Claws is waiting inside," 

 

"Claws?" You asked as he draped a blanket over your shoulders

 

"Logan," Tony whispered as you led you inside, "He got worried after you ran- Don't tell him I told you," 

 

Tony took you through glass doors and into a massive lobby that was warm and welcoming.

 

"Don't run like that, Y/N," Logan warned and you finally snapped

 

"What the fuck do you expect me to do!?" You shouted in the lobby, "I just woke up in a completely unknown place and you're telling me that it's 20 fucking 15 and I'm just supposed to  _roll with it_?! Tell me exactly what happened and what's going on!? And where's Winter?" 

 

That stopped everyone's heart. 

 

"Y/N-," Remy began but Logan put his hand on his shoulder

 

"We don't know, kid," Logan hoped that his sadness masked his anger associated with that name- it did, "Why don't you eat something and I'll tell you everything?" 

 

You looked at Tony, he was the only one who was radiating positive energy. 

 

"You come too," You found yourself saying, "You're the only one who's been honest so far," 

 

"Sure," He smiled softly 

 

* * *

 

"Talk," You folded your arms over your chest

 

In front of you sat Logan and Remy, whereas, Tony was beside you. Logan chuckled softly as to how you'd picked Tony as the most trustworthy. 

 

"We found you in Cyro in '13," Logan began, "In France. You disappeared in '96, late August,"

 

"The last you spoke to Gambit was when you told him that you were travelling with- with  _Winter_ ," Remy spoke the name with difficulty 

 

"You think Winter had anything to do with me disappearing?" You looked at the two men, "He- I remember- I loved him- He loved me too," 

 

"He disappeared too, Y/N," Remy sighed, "So did Amanda and Sasha," 

 

"What?" Your heart dropped and Tony felt your anxiety in his veins 

 

"Amanda disappeared a few days before you disappeared," Logan explained, "When we came to look for you in Seattle, we went to your college and your roommate was gone- your counsellor was gone- everyone you'd told us about- no one was there," 

 

"Does the name HYDRA mean anything to you?" Tony finally spoke and you shook your head, "Logan and Remy found you in an abandoned HYDRA facility. You were the only one there,"

 

"No- I- There was-," You fell quiet as you tried to recall why that name felt like you'd heard it before, "No. I don't know that name," 

 

"They're the ones who took you," Logan stated but you could feel his sadness in your heart, "We should've never let you go," 

 

"Y/N," Tony made you turn to him, "I know it's going to be very hard for you to adjust but we've got the best of best of everything here," You nodded, "We need you to go through a few medical procedures so we can make sure that you're well, physically and- and we- Wanda, she's not a mutant but she's still got abilities and she'll-,"

 

"Can she help me remember?" You perked up with hope and Tony nodded with a smile

 

"Slowly," He warned, "We don't need to rush into things," 

 

"Okay," Your eyes fell on your lap, "What else?" 

 

Your coldness surprised everyone. The way you took everything in. Logan suspected that it was still the lingering training of HYDRA. He had no idea how right he was.

 

"Are you sure you want to do this right now?" Logan's protective streak showed, "Bub, you just woke up, maybe take it easy-,"

 

"What else is there to do?" Your voice was stern and like that of a soldier

 

Remy's eyes darted from yours to Tony's and noticed that even Tony's mask faltered ever so slightly but he quickly recovered

 

"Alright, tough guy," Tony smirked, "You'll work with Bruce to see how you're doin' medically- We still gotta figure out how old you are- physically. Wanda'll help you fix your memories- If there's something wrong and help you control your powers too," You nodded as you took in the information, "Sam- Or birdman- You can call him that- I'm giving you express permission- He'll make sure that you don't have PTSD,"

 

"Why would I have PTSD?" You frowned as looked around

 

"Kid, you just lost twenty years of your life," Logan leaned closer to you, "No one makes out of that without help," 

 

"And Steve- He's our oldest resident- He's in his 90s, so, go easy on him alright? He's been under too- So, he'll help you get adjusted. He's away for now but he'll be back soon and then he'll help you out. Alright?" Tony explained the last bit and you nodded slowly 

 

"This is really happening then?" You whispered, "I'm- It's a different decade," You finally realized what was going on, "It's not just an elaborate hoax," 

 

"No,  _my love_ , you know Gambit would never," Remy stood up and sat next to you

 

You finally broke down and didn't even notice Tony and Logan leaving. Remy wrapped his arms around you and you finally cried like your heart needed you. You didn't keep quiet and your sadness seeped into Remy. His tears fell quietly too. 

 

"Shh,  _my love_ , Gambit _swears to protect you, no matter what_ ," He assured you as he sniffed and held you close

 

" _I- I just- Thank you for finding me_ ," Your voice cracked and Remy pulled away

 

" _My love, you're- you're speaking my language?_ " Remy smiled and you nodded

 

" _I suppose I am_ ," You laughed softly and fell asleep in his arms as exhaustion took over

 

* * *

 

"Replay," Tony stated in the empty room and the footage of you twisting Remy's arm played on the wall, "HYDRA did turn you into a weapon," He sighed and poured himself a drink, "FRIDAY, why do I keep collecting strays?"

 

"According to the data collected over the past few years-," The AI began to explain

 

"Rhetorical question, FRIDAY," Tony chuckled and sipped his whiskey, "Tell Sam, Wanda and Steve what's going on. Give them the appropriate intel on Y/N but keep her medical records under strict  _need to know_  basis and right now, that's just me, Bruce and Logan. No one else needs to know. Not even Y/N,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANY IDEAS WHAT GOING ON WITH THE READER?!!! because like - even she doesn't


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST OF ALL - i'm so sorry for taking so long to post this update - infinity war ruined me and i just couldn't write anything because my heart was torn and i would just sit in front of the screen and no words would come to me or anything at all and it was just a mess
> 
> also - tbh - idk about you but specially after IW - i feel like i need this fic more because now that IW has happened, all we have is our fanfics until they bring bucky because DAMN IT HE DESERVED BETTER AND HE'S NOT GONE !! HE JUST GOT BETTER HE DESERVED TO HEAL AND TO BE WITH HIS FRIENDS !!! 
> 
> ohky so like - //sigh//

"The target is in his room," Your superior told you, "Go, make hell," You winked at him and wrapped the overcoat securely around your waist

 

You crossed the street quickly. It was late at night, so, you didn't have to worry about traffic. A few bribes and next thing you knew, you were standing in a stretched out corridor, the silence was ringing in your ears and you knocked softly on the door. 

 

"Who is it?" A grumbled over came from the other side

 

"Why don't you find out," You said sweetly and he opened the door in a frenzy 

 

"I didn't- I didn't call for anyone," He whispered harshly

 

"Oh, don't worry," You giggled like a school girl and the scent of vanilla and cinnamon filled the air, "I'm a present," You pushed past him and walked into the room 

 

"I'm ma- married," His voice was barely a whisper because you were filling the air with scents that the man loved

 

"We both know that never stopped you before," You stalked closer and your lips brushed against his, "I'll leave if you ask," You said softly and you saw him swallow as you took a step back, letting his eyes take in your image, or rather, what you wanted him to see, "Or... Or I can stay for as long as you  _please_ ," 

 

It didn't take long until he was sitting on a chair with his hands tied behind his back, your black scarf tied around his eyes like a blindfold and you in his lap. His erection was pressing against your thigh and he swallowed hard. 

 

"I'll ask you just  _once_ , alright, my love?" You whispered in his ear in a Texan accent and your breath fanned his neck, you could feel his arousal spike, "Will you be a good boy for me, darling?"

 

"Yes, yes, I'll do anything," His throat was dry and you smiled to yourself

 

"Beautiful," You got off his lap, "Because I've got a whole list of questions to ask you," 

 

"W-What?" He arousal was replaced with confusion and you made sure that his senses were flooded with lust once again

 

"Like I said, my love," You said softly, "I've got some question for you and you'll be a good boy for me, won't you?"

 

"Yes- Yes, I will," His breathing picked up and you unlocked the door silently, letting Pierce and Rumlow in

 

"Good boy," You sat down on his lap, "Now, tell me- where did you hide Stark's notes on the original formula for the Serum?"

 

"Wh-What?" He hiccuped, "What are you talking about? Who are you?" 

 

"Come on, darling," You cooed softly, "I know you want to tell me every little secret you have," 

 

"Y-Yes," He swallowed as you pumped him with lust and need and want desire to please you in whatever way he could and soon enough, secrets were spilling 

 

Pierce sat with a soft smile plastered on his face as Crossbones stared at you with a different look in his eyes but you were so consumed with the man in front of you that you didn't notice the emotions that Crossbones was trying to keep within himself. 

 

* * *

 

You gasped awake and your head was swimming with the images of the dream you'd just seen. You threw off the sheets and ran to the bathroom, where you doubled over in the toilet.  _I was a plaything_ , You felt disgusted and filthy. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand and leaned against the cold tiled wall. 

 

"Are you alright, Ms Y/L/N?" The AI's voice echoed in your room, "Would you like for me to call someone?" 

 

"No," Your breathing normalized, "I'm alright," You stood up shakily and stumbled into the large tub, "No need to call anyone," You whispered mostly to yourself and turned on the cold water

 

You slipped into the tub and felt your heart slowing down. You closed your eyes tight and tried to block out what you'd just seen. You tried to box it away.

 

"Just a dream," You told yourself, "It was- It was just a dream- That's it," You let out a shaky breath and got comfortable in the water as you peeled off the wet clothes that clung to your skin

 

* * *

 

You'd been in the Tower for two weeks now. Wanda had been helping you. You hadn't shown any severe signs of PTSD, which was surprising to everyone. You seemed almost  _normal_  and even Sam found it odd because he'd worked with Steve closely and he knew how horrible his nightmares were so he couldn't understand how someone like you, how someone who had gone through so much and come out all of it with just a few nightmares which weren't even that bad. On the surface at least. 

 

The truth was that you were a mess. You didn't have nightmares but the memories were starting to come back, mostly because they didn't wipe your head clean, but rather just decided to put up a partition between you and the Siren. Wanda had been trying to lower it. However, she had also sworn to never look into your head so you could lie that you still hadn't remembered much but you were remembering and you really didn't like it. 

 

Your room was across Steve's but he wasn't there. Tony had explained that he'd been gone for a few months because he was looking for an old friend, Bucky Barnes. You'd heard a lot about him. Apparently he was taken by HYDRA as well and was with Steve during the war, that's why he'd dropped everything to find him. You could understand that because Remy and Logan had dropped everything to find you. Speaking of, they had been bunked together because Tony didn't trust the gambler but Logan did and that's why Remy was his responsibility. 

 

* * *

 

You were startled awake by FRIDAY's voice. She was alerting you that Logan was outside your door. 

 

"You want us to wait for you at breakfast or what?" Logan knocked on your door again, "Kid?" 

 

You were naked in the empty tub and the events of the night before rushed back to you. 

 

"I'm-," Your heart was thundering and then- suddenly, it wasn't, "I'm just stepping into the shower," Your voice didn't waver, your body didn't shake and your heart wasn't going wild, "I'll join you in a while," 

 

"Alright then," Logan called out, "I'll wait for you, bub," 

 

You listened for Logan to leave and then shook yourself from the sudden change. 

 

"What the fuck," You gasped as you felt your heart thunder again 

 

You stepped out of the tub on shaky legs and gripped the edge of the sink. You stared at the out of focus reflection of yourself. 

 

" _You could say thank you_ ," A voice laughed as it echoed in your ears 

 

You shook your head and splashed water on your face. The water dripped down over your chest and goosebumps littered your skin. 

 

"Is there someone else in the room, FRIDAY?" Your voice was a weak whisper and the AI quickly assured you that you were indeed alone, "Suspend all surveillance," You sighed, "I just need to be alone for a while," 

 

"Yes, ma'am," FRIDAY's voice answered and silence fell 

 

"Get a grip, Y/N," You scolded yourself, "Do better. Be better," You stared at yourself for a while and then left to change to join Logan for breakfast 

 

* * *

 

"Took you a while," Logan called out as he saw you approaching

 

"Yeah, I just lost track of time," You smile as you lied and sat down next to Remy 

 

You felt bad for lying to everyone but you were also surprised how easily it came to you. The lies flowed off of your tongue with such ease. You figured that it was probably part of the training that HYDRA had given you.

 

" _Sleep well, my love?_ " Remy asked softly and you nodded as you kissed his cheek

 

"Perfectly," You lied again, "It was a little broken but still, good enough," 

 

" _My love_ , are you sure about being by yourself? Gambit can be with you," Remy offered for the hundredth time

 

One of these days, you promised yourself that you were going to say yes because being by yourself was extremely lonely but you didn't want him to know how you would wake up in cold sweat in the middle of the night gasping for air. 

 

" _Next time I wake up in the middle of the night, I'll call for you_ ," You finally told him, "I promise," You whispered and the smile on Remy's face was enough to fill your heart with guilt but you reminded yourself to not flood the room

 

That was another thing. You had complete control over your powers; you just had to concentrate a little at times, but you couldn't understand why you  _wanted_  to pretend like you didn't. You didn't understand a lot of things about yourself. It was confusing and you didn't know what to do or who to talk to. 

 

"Gambit still can't believe how perfect your accent is,  _my love_ ," Rem smiled, "It's like you were raised in streets of Paris," 

 

"It's the training," Logan sighed, "Every language Y/N knows, she would have the most authentic accent," 

 

"Rude," You frowned as you poured your cereal, "Besides, all I know is French," You winked at Remy and his affection engulfed you

 

"Hi, Y/N!" Peter shouted from the end of the hall, "Mr Stark told me to show you a few things today before you head to Wanda," 

 

Peter was getting you in touch with technology and the new age, whereas Remy was helping you with everything you'd missed out on. It was a handful but you were slowly getting a hang of everything. 

 

"Sit for a while first, kid," Logan grunted, "You don't have to rush everywhere.  _Damn children_ ," 

 

"Hey, be nice," You shot Logan a look, "You're becoming an old fart, honestly," 

 

"And technically, you're supposed to be in your 40s, bub," Logan snickered and you gasped dramatically

 

"I don't look a day over 27! Isn't that right Peter?" You suddenly turned to the teen and he stared at the both of you 

 

"I-Uh- I think- Mr Stark is calling me- I'll see you in the rec room," Peter stuttered out and ran off whereas Remy chuckled into his coffee mug

 

"Gambit feels you're too mean to the young one," Remy wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you leaned into his touch 

 

"He's adorable! And he gets flustered easily. I tease him but I think Logan is just mean," You giggled and Logan rolled his eyes

 

"Right. Two weeks awake and she's got jokes already," He huffed and you frowned but he broke a smile, "It's just- It's good to have you back, kid," Logan kissed the top of your head, "I guess I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop," 

 

"It's a time to celebrate," Remy pointed out, "Let's not worry unless we have to," 

 

You nodded with a smile but a nagging feeling kept pulling at you. 

 

" _He's right to worry you know. The other shoe is **going** to drop_ ," The same voice as before echoed in your ears again and you turned to look but no one was there and neither Logan nor Remy noticed it either

 

_What the fuck is going on?_  You swallowed and suppressed your thundering heart so that Remy wouldn't feel your anxiety 

 

Afterall, something told you that you had a long way ahead of you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hit me up on tumblr, totallynotashieldagent and lets just cry about IW and be friends because tbh - we all need the emotional support


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyy ohky so guyssss  
> help me out with something  
> i'm a littttllleee confused with what background ships to keep ??  
> like, i'm thinking, clintasha? what else? maybe stony because then they could just parent peter together etc
> 
> nothing is solid rn and i need your input for this

"What'd'ya got for me today, Petey?" You asked loudly as you walked into the Rec Room

 

"Over here!" Peter waved you towards the couch he was sitting on, "Phones!" He stated with a wide smile 

 

"Seriously, Pete?" You cocked a brow, "You know we had cellular phones in the 90s, right?"

 

"Firstly," Peter chuckled softly, "No one, like no one, not one single person calls them a  _cellular_  phones. It's a cell phone and it's basically a mini computer in your hands,"

 

"Then how come computers aren't obsolete yet?" You frowned as you looked at what Peter was referring to as a phone, "Where are the buttons?" 

 

"It's all touch," He tapped the middle of the screen twice and the light flooded your eyes

 

* * *

 

"Did you find anything?" Logan was growing restless

 

"There are millions of documents to go through," Tony sighed, "And we don't even know what name they were using for Y/N,"

 

"Look for mutants?" Logan offered with the hope that it could narrow down the search 

 

"Tried that- Turns out that there out thousands of mutants that worked with HYDRA," Tony rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes

 

"They had her for so long- We- I need to know what they made her do," Logan drew a long breath, "What they were- What they turned her into," 

 

"It's HYDRA, Logan," Tony finally looked up at him, "They turned her into a weapon- I just- I just haven't figured out what triggers it yet," 

 

"A code name perhaps?" Logan asked but even he was losing hope slowly 

 

* * *

 

Tony and Logan had been trying to figure out for what purpose had HYDRA been using you but so far, they had been unsuccessful. Natasha had leaked all of HYDRA's documents to the public earlier in the year when SHIELD fell but that data went all the way to the Second World War - and that's only when they had started to actually document everything. They hadn't used your name anywhere and your face hadn't been picked up through any of their software after 1996, the year you'd gone missing. 

 

HYDRA may have fallen but they were still good at hiding their tracks. 

 

No one knew what name had been used for you in HYDRA and there was no one by the name of "Winter Williams" in their data either. It was  _almost_  as if they'd been waiting for your body to be found in Paris in a desolate building that could collapse at any moment. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you sure this is the place?" Logan stared at the building in front of him

 

The windows were broken and the door was hanging off its hinges. It looked abandoned and far too old to be a working HYDRA facility. 

 

"Oui, mon ami," Remy nodded but even he wasn't sure

 

Him and Logan had travelled for years to find you and they'd had no luck at all but only a few nights ago, someone at the local bar at mentioned in a drunken haze about a building that used to be operational in the early 2000s. Logan was suspicious of the tip but Remy was desperate for a miracle and that's how they'd found themselves standing outside such a wastelandish place. 

 

"Come on then," Logan said softly as he looked around and both of them crept through the door, "Split up- Scream if you die," 

 

Remy chuckled as he disappeared into the shadows but his red eyes glowed in the darkness but Logan stayed in the light, looking for more obvious things. 

 

It was an HYDRA facility, alright. The plaques and signs and sigils made it obvious. 

 

"Fuckin' octopus lovin' pricks," Logan cursed under his breath as he kept moving slowly and carefully because he didn't know if it was a booby-trapped place or not 

 

The floors creaked as he stepped lightly but that was hard as he was a bulky man. Remy, however, had no problem slipping through the small spaces and into new rooms. 

 

"S'il vous plaît, mon amour, être ici, me laisse vous trouver ici," Remy prayed to himself as but then a loud crash caught his attention

 

He sprinted through the rooms as he hadn't realized that he was on one of the upper levels of the massive building. The way the floors connected to each other, he had no idea when or even how he'd reached one of the top floors.  

 

"Logan?!" He shouted but got no response

 

Either his voice hadn't carried through the walls or- well, he didn't have time to think about an  _or_  as he sprinted as fast he could and crumbled the walls in his path until he came to the hollow ground. As he peered into the darkness, he saw Logan at the bottom, mangled and torn through with metal rods. 

 

"Good thing I heal, eh?" Logan's voice was weak as he tried to laugh it off 

 

"Should have been more careful, mon ami," Remy sighed deeply as he swiftly joined Logan into the depth of the pit in which he was, "Gambit sees that you found the basement," 

 

Remy helped pull out the various objects sticking out of Logan and waited until he healed. The blood stained his clothes and his skin but he was fine otherwise. 

 

"What is this place?" Logan's voice was low as he turned to look around

 

The chamber was small but there was a corridor leading from it and Remy jerked his head towards it. Cards flew from his sleeve that illuminated to guide the way but the long hallway seemed to go on forever. 

 

"Follow?" Remy asked Logan but didn't really wait for an answer as he began to slowly walk through the narrow path 

 

As they both went through the corridor, some things began to change. The dust was settling slowly and a soft blue light was beginning to seep into their eyeline. 

 

"Be ready," Logan growled as his claws came out and Remy nodded as well 

 

After what seemed to be far too long, they came to a door. There were no locks, there was no knob or handle, it was just a door. Logan cocked a brow and Remy pressed his index finger to it. In a few moments, the thing turned to dust and crumbled to the floor. What was inside, well, let's just say that nothing could've prepared them for it. 

 

It was a massive chamber with pods lined against the walls and the walls were all mirrors. 

 

"It's- Is it a training facility?" Remy's words slipped into the hall ad the echo carried through even though all he did was whisper 

 

"Look at the pods- See if there's anyth- anyone inside," Logan instructed and Remy and him separated 

 

It was barely a few minutes after when Remy screamed your name.

 

"Logan!" Remy shouted as tears gathered in his eyes, "It's her! Y/N! We found her! Mon amour, we will get you out," He turned his attention to you at his hand landed on a cord and began to pull 

 

"Hey- No, no," Logan stopped him quickly, "Don't pull on any wires- We don't know how long she's been here- Or what state she's in," 

 

Remy went to the side of the pod and stared as your still form. Your face was visible through the frosted glass. He smiled down at you as he tried not to cry whereas Logan tried to make a call to figure out how to get you out. 

 

* * *

 

"It feels like we just found her," Logan stared at Tony 

 

"I'd just sat down after wiping the damn streets from the alien attacks," Tony laughed as he poured himself a drink, "We had her for years- I just- I know it's been a while coming here but- Y/N woke up suddenly after years of no change in her status- We'll figure out the rest as well,"

 

"I hope you're right, Stark," Logan groaned as he began to leave the room, "Otherwise, I'll have to get in touch with another old friend and I'm not sure if he'd talk to me,"

 

"Right," Tony took a gulp of his whiskey, "The one you told to fuck off? Bald? Wheelchair? Likes to name his students after his own name?"

 

* * *

 

"I feel like I'm living in an episode of The Jetsons," You sat numbly on the couch, "The future is crazy, Petey," 

 

"Oh, that show is ancient! I can't believe even you know about it," He was in awe as he pulled back his sleeve to look at the time, "Woah, we're late - You had to meet Captain Rogers," 

 

"Is he back already?" You gave him a quizzical look and Peter shook his head

 

"Future tech," He smiled brightly, "Video calling! FRIDAY - Captain Rogers please, Mr Stark said we had to call him around right now,"

 

"Calling Captain Rogers," The AI answered and a screen appeared in front of you 

 

You couldn't help but reach out to touch it.

 

"It's not really there, Y/N," Peter explained, "It's a hologram, like in that really old movie Star Wars?" You nodded slowly, "Mr Stark thought it would easier for you to just jump into everything," 

 

A young looking man appeared on the screen. He had bright blue eyes and a kind face and he didn't look like he was the one you were supposed to talk to. 

 

"Hello," The man said with a smile, "I assume you're Y/N?" You nodded slowly, "How are you doin' Peter? School's good?" 

 

"Everything's good," Peter answered happily, "They still keep showing your videos," 

 

"Remind me to call the school board when I get back," The man sighed, "It's getting embarrassing now- Nat doesn't let me live it down and Sam is no better,"

 

"I'm sorry but you are...?" You trailed off 

 

"I'm sorry," He chuckled softly, "I'm Steve Rogers,"

 

"Uh- No you're not," You laughed softly, "Tony said you're supposed to be in your 90s?"

 

"Yeah well- I am," Steve sighed, "I- I was frozen- Like you- I didn't age for almost seventy years - That's how long I was under - So, biologically, I'm supposed to be 90- I'm not really,"

 

"I'll see you late, alright?" Peter whispered to you and left 

 

"I don't - I don't know how long I was frozen for," Your stomach dropped at the thought

 

"We'll help you figure things out, Y/N," Steve assured you, "Sam helped me through a lot of things and Wanda is gifted in more ways than you can imagine," 

 

"How are you supposed to help me?" You couldn't help but ask because you still didn't understand his role in everything

 

"I'll help you feel not so lost just because you're from another time," He gave you a smile but you feel the wave of sadness pass through his eyes

 

"Can I ask you something?" You took a deep breath and he nodded, "Are you going to be away for long?"

 

"Honestly?" He sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't- I don't know. I'm looking for someone. I thought I lost him but then- I had a friend," Steve grinned, "Before the war, before everything, way back when any of this was happening, before even I was  _this_ ," He gestured to himself, "He was my pal through the thick and thin. Bucky. He went off to war, I followed- I thought he died but then a while back I found out that he hadn't died, he'd been taken by the same people who had taken you-,"

 

"HYDRA," You whispered with horror and Steve nodded grimly

 

"He's a good man and he's my oldest friend- I'm trying to find him and I'll be back as soon as I do," He explained with conviction, "This is just something I have to do," 

 

"I understand," You nodded as you hugged your knees, "Logan and Remy pushed everything aside when I went missing. You don't give up on family," 

 

"Just do me a favour though," Steve smirked thoughtfully, "Make sure Tony doesn't spoil the kid. You're the closest to his age and Peter sort of knows that Tony won't say no to him," 

 

"I feel like this is a family thing," You laughed loudly and he shook his head 

 

"Think of this way- Tony collectively decided that the Avengers have adopted him," He smiled, "I'll talk to you later, Y/N," You said your goodbyes and the screen disappeared 

 

You sat in silence for a while until someone else walked in and he looked very familiar. 

 

"Hey, you're the new girl," The brown haired man spoke to you but just stared him,  _Do you know ASL?_  He signed to you 

 

 _I know you... Why do I know you?_  You signed back as you stared at him

 

 _Well, why don't you enlighten me, sweetheart?_  The brunette strutted towards you with a smirk as he signed flirtatiously 

 

You looked at him and noticed his hands and what he had on them. Archery gloves.

 

"You're the archer!" You screamed at him

 

"Name's Hawkeye but you can call my Clint," He winked at you and offered his hand

 

" _He was our target, remember? He's the reason they put **him** way,_ " The voice inside your head reminded you 

 

You took his hand to shake it but pulled and he stumbled at the sudden movement. You tried to pin him down but his movements were just as quick. 

 

"What the fuck, sweetheart? I thought we were havin' a moment there," Clint gasped as he pushed you off but you grabbed the vase that was on the table and threw it at him which he dodged, "Why are all the pretty ones always crazy?" He groaned as he pushed you from your midriff and you fell through the table that was in the middle of the Rec Room 

 

"Enough!" You shouted and suddenly the whole room was full of bubbles and Clint could barely see anything 

 

"Okay, that's new," He whispered to himself, "FRIDAY, what's going on here?" 

 

"It appears that the room is filled with soap bubbles," The AI answered 

 

"I can see that too," Clint sighed deeply, "Where did they come from?" 

 

"Ms Y/L/N is a mutant and her powers are that of illusion, it is safe to assume that this is her doing," FRIDAY explained but Clint was just past his limits

 

"Does no one tell me anything around here?" He was talking mostly to himself at this point, "I go off to visit my sister on the farm for two weeks and I come back to this? Really?" 

 

The bubbles stopped moving.  _That can't be good_. Clint thought to himself as vines crept around his ankles. 

 

"FRIDAY, call Tony!!" Clint screamed as your vines crept around his body and you cut off his oxygen, making him lose consciousness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S'il vous plaît, mon amour, être ici, me laisse vous trouver ici - Please, my love, be here, let me find you here
> 
> ANNNDDD
> 
> if you rememberrrr - winter and reader went on a mission where they were supposed to hunt black widow but there was also an archer because of which they were unsuccessful which resulted in in winter being tortured and reader breaking her programming?? yeaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to take this chance and say to you all that you matter to me. every single person. please don't give into the negativity and if any of you ever want to talk, my tumlr inbox is always open. 
> 
> and to those who hide behind a screen and put others down and send hate, do better. everyone has a voice, stop wasting yours on such things.

Your head felt  _so_  heavy. There was something missing. You couldn't open your eyes and your entire body just felt like it was under a ton of weight. The last thing you remembered was- the last thing was-  _The Archer!_  Your eyes shot open and you tried to sit up but your hands were bound. You tried to cast an illusion but nothing happened. You looked around but saw just white. 

 

You were in a...  _Hospital_? There was a monitor next to you and some wires and drips were connected to you. Your heart rate spiked. 

 

"Oh no, no, no," Worry seeped into your soul, "Not again, not again!" You struggled again, "No, no, no," You kept chanting as you tugged on the restraints, which began to cut into your skin

 

" _My love_?" Remy's voice stopped you from tugging, "You're safe- Don't- Don't struggle," 

 

"I'm in fucking chains!" You spat out and anger surged through you, "I'm not an animal!" 

 

"You- You attacked Clint-," He stuttered out, "We thought- Gambit thought that HYDRA's programming had taken over," 

 

"Clint?" You stared at Remy, "Who's Clint?" 

 

"The-," He stopped himself, "You don't remember?" 

 

"I remember trying wrapping up the Archer in my illusion and now  _this_!" You growled, "Where is he?!"

 

"Y/N-," Remy looked over at the mirror on one side of the room, "What did he do?" 

 

"That  _Archer_  is the reason they took  _him_  from me!" You snarled and there was blood in your eyes

 

"Who's him?" He asked cautiously 

 

"As if you ever cared," You pulled on the railings again but this time, they bent with your strength, "You never cared about  _him._ You didn't like him- You never liked that I was with him!" You kept pulling until a loud snap echoed in the room and Remy's eyes were full of fright, you didn't have to be a mutant to feel it, you could see it clearly, "Why didn't you like him, Remy? Why didn't you ever approve of us?" You pulled again and the other railing broke as well

 

You threw the sheets off of yourself and Remy backed into a corner. The restraints dangled from your wrists along with the bed railings and Remy's eyes darted all over you. The wires and drips that were in your skin moved with you until the bed got in the way and then the fell to the floor, ripping away from your skin. You didn't even blink. 

 

"Tell me where the  _Archer_  is," You whispered and held the railing's edge to Remy's throat and his eyes went to the mirror again 

 

"Gambit thinks it's time for you to sleep," He closed his eyes and your body fell unconscious to the floor 

 

A team of medical professionals rushed into the room and put you back into bed, whereas Remy exited and was visibly shaken that you had just threatened him. He let the doctors and nurses do their work and went into the room next to yours. 

 

"What the fuck was that?" Remy stared at Tony and Logan, "You said she was controlling her powers!" He gestured towards Wanda, who was sitting by the two-way mirror and looking at you

 

"Yeah- About that," Tony smiled softly, "I'll let Claws explain that fun story! I have to check up on Clint anyway," 

 

"Mon ami?" Remy asked Logan and he took a deep breath

 

"Y/N's strength isn't part of her mutantcy," Logan took him out of the room so that they wouldn't disturb Wanda, "They- HYDRA gave her the serum- We don't know if it's the botched version or if they got the original somehow- But it's something like that,"

 

"And no one thought to tell Gambit?!" Remy was shocked beyond belief 

 

"It's- Only me, Tony and Bruce know because we didn't want to cause exactly  _this_ , Remy," Logan's voice was stern as he looked down at Remy 

 

"Y/N kept saying that it was Clint's fault they took  _him_  away? Do you know what it meant?" Remy sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "Gambit has never seen Y/N so full of anger and-," 

 

"She's just confused," Logan patted Remy's back 

 

* * *

 

"Any answers why the crazy girl tried to kill me?" Clint asked as someone examined him

 

"Must me your farmboy charm," Tony pointed and they shared a small laugh, "But, no. We don't know- She kept saying you're the reason they took someone away?" Tony ran his fingers through his hair, "Did you ever see Y/N during your missions?"

 

"Nah," Clint shook his head, "I would've remembered powers like that- If I would've gotten out alive. Tony, she's skilled. She's skilled like Tasha," 

 

"Yeah but she's from HYDRA- Kidnapped, brainwashed and then brought back- She wasn't raised with them like Nat was," Tony explained slowly, "Y/N couldn't possibly be that skilled. She was with HYDRA from '96 only," 

 

"I don't know man," Clint shrugged, "All I'm saying is that- She's packing and on top of that, she's a mutant- That's a high-level asset. How could HYDRA just lose her?" 

 

"Those are valid questions," Tony nodded as he bit the inside of his cheek, "But come on! Genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist! I'll figure it out," Tony winked and left the room but dread was already building inside him

 

_How could HYDRA just forget about you, Y/N? Something just doesn't add up_. He couldn't help but think to himself but it had already been three days and Wanda had barely slept. He needed to call for help. 

 

"Please tell me there's no more surprises, FRIDAY," Tony sighed softly as he walked into his office

 

"Mr Parker has called again to ask if there are any new missions or tasks for him and Mr Odinson has returned to earth-," FRIDAY announced, "With his brother, it seems," 

 

"What?" Tony blinked, "Thor's back and he's with Loki?!" 

 

"It would seem so, sir," The AI confirmed

 

"Well, this week just keeps getting better and better," Tony leaned back in his chair

 

* * *

 

"Can I sit with you, kid?" Logan asked unsurely and Wanda nodded 

 

Her eyes were bloodshot and she was exhausted. She had to keep you under because your body burned through the anaesthesia at an incredible pace. 

 

"Can you talk and keep her asleep?" Logan shifted a little as he sat beside Wanda and looked at your sleeping body 

 

"Yes," Wanda smiled softly, "She's actually sleeping right now so I don't have to concentrate as hard- I only need to keep her powers nonfunctional," 

 

"What do you see when you look inside her mind?" He asked a question which he knew was stupid

 

"It's alright," She assured him, "It's not a stupid question and I'm not really looking for anything, so I'm not seeing much," 

 

"Can you tell me still? Maybe it'll help in helping her," He felt slightly defeated but nodded nonetheless

 

"Y/N's mind isn't complicated," She cocked her head to the side, "It's very proper. Imagine you're in a- in a filing room. Her mind is like that. Every memory, all the information, it's filed away neatly but she can't access it," She explained carefully, "Most of the cabinets are locked and she needs to find the key. That's what I help with- Or she has to forge the key herself- That's what Sam helps with," 

 

"That's a nice way to put it, bub," Logan smirked and acknowledged that your mind was in good hands

 

"However, there's- there's this door that's locked," Wands frowned, "The odd part is that there shouldn't be a door there, to begin with," 

 

"Maybe it's just another part of her that she's had to lock away?" He concluded and her sleepy haze, Wanda agreed too 

 

"Maybe so," She nodded slowly 

 

* * *

 

You were in bed and still in that awful white room. The sound of the monitor that was keeping track of your heart would've driven crazy if it wasn't helping you keep track of the seconds of the day. Remy hadn't visited. However, there was a difference in the power that was holding your mind captive. You couldn't put your finger on it but there was something different about it. 

 

* * *

 

"I really appreciate you coming down for me, Charles," Tony leaned against the door frame, "Wanda really needed a break," 

 

"It's quite alright. It had been a while since I'd spent time with a Stark," The Professor nodded with a smile, "Her mind is truly interesting, however. I've never come across someone so...  _controlled_ ," 

 

"What are you on about, Wheels?" Tony rolled her eyes, "Y/N is there because she  _lost_ control," 

 

"On the contrary, my young friend," Charles shook his head, "She knew exactly was she was doing. She was furious because they- HYDRA- they took away someone very close and important to her when she- I believe she was sent on a mission for Mr Barton. I can't look further because my presence might become known to her," He cut himself off, "We don't know if she's been trained for telepaths or not," 

 

"Close and important... Logan and Remy told me that she was with someone named Winter Williams before everything happened," Tony suddenly started to connect the dots, "We thought that he was with HYDRA and kidnapped her but what if HYDRA was holding him hostage to make her more compliant?" 

 

"And perhaps her failure to secure or whatever she was required to with Mr Barton-," Charles's eyes widened as he understood where Tony was taking it

 

"HYDRA took Winter away from her and her anger just kicked in when she saw him! Old man, I could kiss you!" Tony laughed, "This means that Y/N's boyfriend was the victim all along and never the bad guy," 

 

"Precisely!" Charles beamed and Tony went off to tell Logan and Remy 

 

* * *

 

You woke up again in the same bed but the restraints were gone. You sat up straight and tried your powers but still couldn't. 

 

"How long do you plan on keeping me here?!" You shouted in the emptiness 

 

"Until you're not so aggressive, Ms Y/L/N," A woman with raven hair and grey eyes walked in, she appeared to be in her 40s but her voice seemed so familiar

 

"Who are you?" You were ready to attack but she had only brought in clothes and food

 

"I'm Amelia," She offered, "I'm your nurse and caretaker. Would you like to change your gown? You've been in it for a few days," She scrunched up her nose and laughed

 

_God, why is her voice so familiar?_ You didn't have an answer 

 

You nodded slowly and sat up so Amelia could help you change. An awkward silence followed. 

 

"You know, I'm very happy your friends found you," She suddenly spoke and the hair on the back of your neck stood up 

 

"How did you-," Your heart skipped a beat

 

"Oh, I've been working here for years," She laughed again, "I was here when they brought you in," 

 

"Okay," You swallowed, "It's weird but your- your voice- it sounds just like someone I used to know," 

 

"Someone good, I should hope," She helped you into a fresh gown and you frowned 

 

"I thought she was good," You took a deep breath, "At the time I thought she was my best friend- But you know- Time shows everyone's true side," 

 

"I see," Amelia put the tray of food in front of you, "I'm sorry you had to go through that, dear," 

 

"It's alright," You smiled sadly, "I'm sure she had her reasons," 

 

"What makes you say that?" She pulled a chair close to your bed, "You sounded very hurt by her actions a moment ago,"

 

"The people she worked with," You leaned back into the pillows, "They can manipulate anyone. They manipulated me. She never- I never felt like she was a bad person. She must've had her reasons," 

 

"May I ask what her name was, dear?" Amelia looked up at you and you thought to yourself that if her grey eyes would turn blue, she would look just like  _her_

"Amanda. Her name was Amanda," You shook away your thoughts and ate your food 

 

Amelia sat with you until you were done and promised to visit soon. You hadn't felt this much at home in your heart in a long while. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHKY SOOOO  
> first of all - if y'all recall, the reader was given the super solider serum waaayyy back and also - think of patrick stewart's charles xavier? he's wiser and more in control of his powers
> 
> what else what else
> 
> OHHH   
> i finally watched "snowpiercer" and holy fuck it was an insanely intense movie and SO UNDERRATED   
> please go watch it


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone  
> first of all, i'm sorry for taking so long with this update  
> for those who have been with me for a while, they know that i never disappear without telling or mentioning it in my notes  
> i'm not sure how quickly i'll be updating because i had a really really bad depressive episode and i just spiralled completely and lost control - i know most you don't really want to know this but like - the story's angst just sort of seeped into me and it spilled over everything else as well 
> 
> second of all, but please bear with me - i have in mind where i want this story to go but a lot had happened in my life and the hopelessness is just kind of ... taking over, in a way? 
> 
> but in other news, i've got a writing challenge to force me to do better and i've got some really really amazing friends here and on tumblr that have looked out for me 
> 
> i'm extremely sorry for not being able to answer your comments, i just - i can't find the strength but i'll get there slowly 
> 
> this is just a bump in a road

You sat with your arms crossed over your chest and Sam sat in the chair next to your bed with his feet on the table beside your bed. He'd been there all morning. It was almost noon now.

 

"When are you going to leave?" You asked through gritted teeth 

 

"When you talk to me, sweetheart," Sam said softly without looking up from his book

 

"Then you'll be here a while," You huffed and turned away 

 

"Fine by me," He chuckled, "I can always ask Tony to put in a bed here. We can be roommates and have a sleepover. I could ask Nurse Pond to bring us some ice cream," 

 

"And then what? I'll spill all my secrets to you?" You laughed sarcastically, "Not how it's gonna work. You people can put all your telepaths on me, make my powers disappear and it still won't be enough to break me," 

 

Sam took a deep breath and set his book aside, taking his feet off the table, he leaned closer to you.

 

"We're not trying to break you, Y/N," His voice was comforting, "We're trying to help. Wanda wasn't trying to break you- She wasn't looking into your head if that's what you're thinking. We're all worried about you. Clint is a part of our team and you hurt him and then you threatened Remy. You're aggressive and that's the only reason you're here," You blinked and looked away from him, "But even she's no longer there. There's no one in your head. No one's stopping you,"

 

"You mean-," You took a breath and a small blue butterfly appeared in the palm of your hand

 

"Damn," Sam whispered, "That sure looks real," 

 

"It is," Tears gathered in your eyes, you felt whole

 

The little thing flew towards him and you encouraged him to touch the wings. Blue pigment scattered across his fingers and you shared a quiet moment. 

 

"Whatever I create- It's real- It's real for as long as I want it to be," You smiled to yourself and the butterfly disappeared

 

"He's the reason they took him away," You repeated the same thing, "I just- I couldn't control myself. I saw the Archer- Clint- All my instincts kicked in," You hugged your knees and waited for Sam to yell at you

 

"Why don't we take a little walk?" He asked softly, "The fresh air would do you good," 

 

"Am I allowed to leave?" You stared at him with surprise

 

"Well, not like that," He chuckled softly, "I'll ask Nurse Pond to get you some clothes and we'll go," 

 

* * *

 

You sat in the rooftop gardens and the sunlight felt so good against your skin. The birds sang and the wind blew softly. Your butterflies flew all around you and you felt somewhat like you were home and at peace. 

 

"Tell me about him," Sam's question caught you off guard as he smiled at you and you stared blankly 

 

"About- about Winter?" You asked unsurely and he nodded, "He- I met him in New Orleans at a bar the first time but he lived in Seattle. He was studying engineering and advanced physics," You felt a little pride in your heart as you mentioned it

 

"So he was smart, huh?" Sam cocked a brow and you laughed as you remembered 

 

"Yeah. Yeah, he was really smart. He was so kind and gentle but goodness, he had a temper too," You smirked as you thought about him, "Sometimes I felt like he was such an old soul- He used to fight everyone because he had this stupid notion that he was responsible for defending my honour," 

 

"I know a guy just like that," Same laughed loudly and you cocked a brow, "What? Steve! He's exactly like that. Keeps picking fights," 

 

"Maybe Winter and him would've gotten along," You looked away and sighed

 

"I don't remember what happened exactly," You suddenly changed the topic, "But I remember that Clint was there- He wasn't supposed to be. My mission was someone else- I can't recall who, though- He was an uncalculated risk and I failed the mission and they tortured Winter because of me," You swallowed the lump in your throat

 

"Their mistake was that they did it in front of me," Tears gathered in your eyes as you squeezed them shut, "I think- I think they thought it would teach me a lesson but that was when I broke through- I remembered who I was- That I was  _me_ and not what they had made me or the name they'd been using for me," 

 

"You fought back," He concluded grimly and you hummed in agreement

 

"I tried to," You smiled as tears streamed down your face, "I tried to fight back but breaking the programming made me forget a lot of things at that time because I was so fucking focused on saving Winter that I forgot I could fight or that I was even a mutant and then I woke up here," 

 

"I know it's a lot to take in," Sam assured you, "It wasn't easy for Steve either," 

 

"I know I'm supposed to be grateful that Logan and Remy found me but I can't shake off this- this _guilt_ ," Your voice quivered, "I was taken- I made them waste their life-," 

 

"Hey, no- You didn't make them do anything," He told you sternly, "Logan and Remy looked for you because they  _wanted_  to- They wouldn't have if they didn't care for you," 

 

"I know that- I do- But I just-," You shoulders drooped, "I can't shake off this feeling," 

 

"You don't have to- But instead of focusing on the  _why_ , try focusing on  _what_ _now_ ," Sam tried to explain, "Don't think about why Logan looked for you or Why Remy is giving you your space- Think about what are you gonna do now. What will you do with this second chance at life?" 

 

A silence engulfed you and you thought hard. 

 

_Logan had spent years for me. I pushed Remy away. I fought with the people that loved me. I need to do better. I have to do better_. 

 

"Thank you, Sam," You smiled softly

 

"That's what I'm here for, babygirl," He nudged your shoulder with his and you felt more comfortable with him

 

* * *

 

"She doin' any better?" Logan sat in Tony's lab 

 

"Much better," Tony was a little surprised himself, "She opened up to birdman a bit. He's walking Y/N back to her room right now, actually," 

 

"You spying on her then?" Logan smirked as he made himself comfortable

 

"It's surveillance and yes," Tony corrected Logan, "Just like I keep tabs on your little friend,"

 

"What did Remy do now?" Logan groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose

 

"Nothing yet but he's not as smooth as he likes to think," Tony chuckled, "Tell him to just talk to her. I'm sure she'll listen to him. But if she finds out that he's been just sitting in her room to  _feel closer to her_ , she'll be so creeped out," 

 

"Yup, definitely creepy," Logan sighed and got up to leave, "Hey Tony," He hummed without looked at Logan, "Remy isn't the only one that needs to come clean about how he feels," 

 

"I'm putting Rhodey on house arrest. He's no longer allowed to talk to any of you," Tony stated blankly, "Traitors. The whole lot of you," 

 

* * *

 

"Well, this is you," Sam brought you to your door, "Like I told you before- You're not a captive here, Y/N. You gotta stop thinking you are," 

 

You nodded numbly and entered the room you'd been originally given and closed the door behind yourself. 

 

"Some privacy, please, FRIDAY," Your voice was barely a whisper 

 

An acknowledgement came and an eerie silence fell. 

 

"They're good people. They're just trying to keep me safe," You spoke to yourself as you slid down against the door 

 

" _It's a trap. Just to make you comfortable_ ," A mocking voice consumed your ears and your heart dropped 

 

"No. It's you- It's just you that's saying it. You're the-," Your words stumbled over the other

 

" _My words, your words, our words. What difference does it make, darlin'? It's all the same thing_ ," She cackled softly and your hands clapped against your ears to somehow shut her out but you knew it was no use, " _Oh, my love, you think you can drown me out? That's never going to happen. I'm going to be with you until the end of time. Now, now. Chin up. We've got company,_ "

 

"What-?" The words hadn't even left your lips when the knock echoed through your room and you gasped

 

Her powers were even more acutely tuned than yours but how could it be when you and her with the same person. You didn't know. 

 

"Wh- Who it is?" You swallowed and stood up as you straightened out yourself

 

"It's me,  _my love_ ," Remy's voice came from the other side and your heart stopped

 

You swung the door open and you stared at him. Your lips parted to say something but no words came out. 

 

"Sam told me that you were back, Gambit is sorry for not visiting," He said hurriedly, "But Gambit wasn't sure if you wanted to see-," You didn't want to hear any more of whatever he was saying and wrapped your arms around him

 

" _I thought I lost you_ ," You whispered as tears fell from your eyes and stained his godawful brown coat

 

Remy hugged you back just as tightly, assuring you that you could never lose him. 

 

"I'm so sorry," You kept repeating over and over, again and again, "I should've listened- I should have never left- I should have stayed home- I should have stayed with you. You were home," 

 

" _My love_ ," Remy pulled away slightly and saw your starry eyes and tear-stained face, "Gambit is home?" He couldn't believe what he'd heard

 

You sniffed and nodded, "You were home- You and Logan were my family- I should have never left you," 

 

Remy's heart strained at the words,  _you and Logan_ , he didn't want to be in the same category as Logan. He wanted your love, not the love you'd given to Logan, but rather, something different but he wasn't sure if he could say it- if he should say it. 

 

"Gambit loves you, Y/N," Remy smiled as he caressed your cheeks and you leaned into his touch

 

"I love you too, Remy," You breathed him as you hugged him again 

 

All the while, you two stood at the doorstep of your room. You jumped apart from Amelia cleared her throat at the end of the hall. 

 

"Nurse Pond," Remy gave a tight-lipped smiled as a blush crept on his cheeks

 

"Good afternoon, Mr LeBeau," Amelia nodded, "I just came by to give Ms Y/L/N her things which she's left in the other room," 

 

"Thank you, Amelia," You said softly and she nodded

 

"I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast," Amelia smiled at you politely and left without giving Remy a second glance, you found it odd because you felt almost a yearning towards him from her but you didn't pay much attention to it

 

"That Nurse doesn't like Gambit," Remy made a face

 

"You probably just tried to flirt with her too much," You rolled your eyes, "Do you want to stay with me?" You finally asked him and Remy's red eyes lit up like Christmas 

 

"Gambit thought you'd never ask,  _my love_ ," He said with so much love that you were hit with admiration from the core of his being and it made you question if whether the love you always felt from Remy was the love that every friend feels from a friend or rather, something else entirely. 

 

* * *

 

"What's got you so quiet?" Natasha nudged Steve, breaking him out of his thoughts

 

"Nothing- I was just wondering something," Steve bit the inside of his cheek, "Y/N was with HYDRA for a very short time but they're saying that she's good as you- Even I can't spar with you," 

 

"You sure know how to worry without needin' to, Rogers," She sighed as leaned back against the cold wall

 

Both of them were in Romania and closing in on a lead. 

 

"Tell me you talked to Clint and that there's nothing suspicious about HYDRA losing her," He shot her a glare but she only smirked

 

"You're making mountains out of molehills. HYDRA isn't what it used to be. Especially since both, its and SHIELD's fall," She finally set aside the binoculars she'd been looking through and looked at Steve, "They're scattered, unorganized and confused. If you're so worried, why don't you call your little fanboy and ask him to look into this?" 

 

"Phil?" Steve cocked a brow and Nat shrugged, "Yeah, sure, why not? Worth a shot," 

 

"Who told you all this anyway? Did Sam call?" Natasha asked slowly and Steve shook his head

 

"No, Tony called actually," He cleared his throat, "He wanted to talk about something but we ended up talking about this- And Peter. I still don't understand why he's got the kid mixed up between all of us," 

 

Natasha smirked because it was evident that Tony hadn't mentioned Peter's special predicament to anyone or as to why he'd decided to take him under his wing. 

 

"Jeez, Rogers, why don't you just adopt the kid?" She laughed as went back to looking through the binoculars but the smirk on her lips showed that she'd played her words exactly the way she wanted to 

 

* * *

 

"Hey, so, funny thing, I need a favour," Tony called up an old friend, "Someone's visiting and I don't have any way of reaching them- Can you take care of this, please? I'll owe you dinner," 

 

"I can very well buy my own dinner, Stark," Stephen shot back as he mused, "Whos' visiting?" 

 

"Thor- But he's with his brother," Tony quickly explained

 

"Yeah, you owe me dinner," Stephen sighed and hung up

 

"Okay, so that's one problem solved," Tony spoke to FRIDAY, "What else we got to do?"

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey, Mr Stark," Peter strode into the lab

 

"Kid, I told you to call me Tony," Tony called out from the back

 

"Oh yeah, sure, of course, Mr Stark," Peter nodded quickly as he made his way towards the voice

 

Bruce chuckled as he looked at Tony rolling his eyes

 

"Oh, by the way, I got you Netflix," Tony smiled down at Peter

 

"That's great! Thanks so much. I was mooching off of Ned and that messed with his shows listings and everything," Peter ranted and Bruce smirked with his arms folded over his chest

 

"Wait, hold up, kid," Tony interrupted, "What do you mean you were  _mooching off of Ned_?"

 

"His account, Mr Stark. They're like 8 bucks and I didn't want to ask May to buy me an account," Peter shrugged and Bruce snorted

 

"Tony, what did you think Peter wanted?" Bruce asked smugly and Tony went  _oh_

"Wait, what did you get Mr Stark?" Peter was coming to the realization as to what had happened

 

"I got Netflix. The whole of it," Tony sighed, "Though, in hindsight, I should've known as to what you were asking," 

 

"Thank you so much!" Peter hugged Tony and picked him up easily and then ran out of the lab, screaming about how he needs to tell Ned

 

"Did the kid just pick you up?" Bruce stared at Tony, "Is he- Is he an enha-,"

 

"Nothing- He's nothing. He was excited and- and I jumped up so it looked like he picked me up," Tony lied through his teeth

 

"You jumped?" Bruce cocked a brow as he took off his glasses

 

"Yeah. Makes the kid feel strong and stuff," Tony shrugged and Bruce went back to his work as he hummed sarcastically 

 

* * *

 

"Do you see him?" Steve whispered through the comms

 

"He just left his building and he's headed towards the marketplace," Natasha answered back 

 

"Nat, did you see that?" Steve warned her, "I thought I saw private security heading towards the building," 

 

"Fuck- We need to hurry then," Natasha stated, "I'm going dark," A click indicated that her comms were off

 

* * *

 

" _My love_ , Gambit knows you're awake," Remy chuckled as wrapped yourself tighter in the blankets

 

"Don't know what you're talking about," You mumbled from under the covers

 

" _But I do. You wish you could just pull him closer, don't you?_ " The voice giggled in your ears and you sat up straight

 

"Well, you waking up this quickly is  _most definitely a surprise_ ," He pointed out and you nodded with a smile as well 

 

You couldn't let anyone know that you were only getting better on the surface but in your head, everything was just somehow falling apart 

 

"Yeah, I just remembered that I've to meet Wanda after breakfast," You lied with ease as you got out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom 

 

When you came out, Remy was still there, sitting on your bed, with his head leaned back and his hat covering his face

 

"You know that you don't have to wear that coat and hat indoors, right?" You commented as you tied the bathrobe around your waist and picked out clothes for the day

 

" _My love_ , if you want me to undress then all you have to do is ask," Remy shot back without looking at you

 

" _Oh, wouldn't you just love that? Look at those red eyes and tell me you wouldn't love that_ ," The voice hummed and you shut your eyes tightly and took a deep breath

 

"If I wanted to see you naked, all I would have to is make you think everything is on fire," You sang the words and the hat began to smoke 

 

Remy threw off his hat as the heat hit his skin and looked at you

 

"Gambit thought you can only make things to be seen," He pointed out and the smoke faded away 

 

"I can alter reality," You reminded him, "If I make things come to life, then I can make things burn bright too," You left the room to change and Remy's eyes were glued to the hat as the charred spots turned brown again

 

* * *

 

"Things are smoother now," You lied again, "Everything seems to be getting back to... normal. In a way, I guess,"

 

"And you don't feel angry?" Wanda asked unsurely

 

"Angry? Of course, I'm angry. I'm angry all the time," You laughed at the absurdity of not being angry, "But at least I'm not projecting it onto everyone else and I know that I'm supposed to be angry at HYDRA, not at Remy or Clint," 

 

"So, you're not gonna try and kill me then?" Clint's voice echoed but you couldn't see him 

 

"Where- He's-," You looked around the room, feeling your way through the room and then felt an emotion of curiosity and almost... childlike glee, "Got you," You whispered to yourself at your stared at the topmost vent in the far corner of the room

 

"I guess you found me then," Clint's voice echoed, "Pretty butterflies, by the way," 

 

"I'm not all vines and thorns, you know," You smiled and noticed that the voice in your head was always quiet when Wanda was around

 

* * *

 

The days went about normally and you felt yourself becoming better at... hiding. You could listen to the conversations around you and the voice inside yourself but never break the facade. It wasn't that hard, honestly. The training that HYDRA had beaten into you was still there. It was in your blood, it had seeped into you. The only thing that you hated was the fact that you just couldn't remember much about those years. 

 

The only reason you remembered Clint was because you saw him and you highly doubted that you would just run into HYDRA members so openly. 

 

* * *

 

"I missed this," You sat next to the massive window that overlooked the city as the sun came up, "I could see the whole of Seattle from Winter's apartment like this," 

 

It pained Remy to see you still thinking about him.

 

"That was almost twenty years ago _, my love_ ," He tried to reason 

 

"I know," You agreed, "But I'm practically missing all those years so it just still feels like we were planning our trip to Paris only a few months ago," 

 

"Gambit can take you to Paris too," He sat across from you and his eyes shined against the morning light

 

"Mutants united trip, then? Grab Logan as well and it'll be just old ti- Wait, what happened to your club?" You suddenly remembered and Remy's smile made your heart melt

 

"The club is still in New Orleans. Gambit has friends there that run it for him," He told you about how it's become a safe haven for mutants and the manager that handling it, was quite literally an angel

 

"I'm sorry, you know," You looked away from him, "For making you and Logan miss out on so much because of me,"

 

"Don't start again, Y/N," Remy rolled his eyes, "Logan went for you because he cares for you," 

 

"And you?" Your voice was hushed and you could feel his agony 

 

You took his hand in yours and caressed it gently 

 

"You're hiding something," You confessed, "I can always feel it. You know that, right?" 

 

"Gambit thought he was always so good at it," He laughed but your look at him and a silence engulfed the two of you

 

The closeness with Remy wasn't new to you but when his breath mixed with yours, everything seemed to slow down. His lips touched yours and everything just stopped. 

 

" _That's what he was hiding. Doesn't mean you'll spill your secrets, right?_ " The voice whispered and was quiet again 

 

When Remy pulled away, he said the softest smile on his lips. 

 

"Now you know Gambit's every secret," He said slowly and leaned his forehead against yours 

 

For the moment, everything seemed perfectly still. 

 

* * *

 

"Morning," You said cheerily as kissed Logan's cheek and sat down next to him 

 

"You're too happy for this early in the mornin', kid," He grunted and mixed whiskey into his coffee 

 

"I don't know. I just feel like today's gonna bring something interesting," You shrugged and had some cereal 

 

* * *

 

It wasn't until later that day you realized how right you were when an almost forgotten face was standing across from you and the darkness was consuming everything. Logan screamed your name but it did nothing at all. 

 

You slipped to the floor as the darkness fell because you couldn't control yourself. The voice was so quiet that it was silent. 

 

They were screaming and shouting but none of it mattered because this man... the man in front of you, he had the same eyes like Winter. 

 

Tony came and took you away. He brought you to your room but when he held your hand, everything felt like it would alright. He was the hardest to read. Powers or not. You couldn't read Tony as easily as you could feel everyone else's emotions. He was a mystery that was always bright like the sun and happy like a child. You enjoyed that about him but you didn't have time to worry for him right now because you'd just seen a ghost and you weren't sure as to what was going to happen now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm having second thoughts about steve x tony because i came across stephen x tony - so i think i'll keep teasing both until i've made my mind? and yes - bucky's back - so, after 32 fucking chapters, we're finally at the beginning of it all 
> 
> again, i'm SO sorry for taking so long with this update
> 
> also - bear with me but once i get a little more better, i've got a scott lang x reader fic in the works and a steve rogers x reader fic in the works too  
> i really want to expand my characters and i hope you guys will support me through this


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhh 
> 
> ohky so  
> the first bit of this chapter is an idea that i've sort of thought about since EVER and i hope you like it - and the last bit of the chapter something that will help you understand the dynamics of new arcs

You liked Tony. You enjoyed his presence. He felt like the warm glow of the sun. Never too bright but always just the correct temperature to make you feel safe and whole. 

 

He was holding your hand and you let him drag you behind himself as he rushed you to your room but time felt like it was somehow slowing down. You blinked in what seemed far too long and your heart filled your ears.

 

Panic. 

 

That was the one thing that overwhelmed you. Panic. Heartache. Heartbreak. Your vision was blurring suddenly. Your throat began to close up and breathing began to become difficult. 

 

" _Let go! You need to let go!_ " She was screaming inside your head and you jerked away from Tony's touch

 

The panic disappeared. Your eyes cleared up. Your heart wasn't thundering anymore and your lungs weren't filled with smoke. 

 

"What's wrong, kid?" He looked at you with his brows furrowed because he was taking you to your room but you'd pulled away from his hand with an aggressive motion

 

"You're lying-," You sucked in a sharp breath, "You're always lying- To everyone," 

 

"What?" Tony's eyes swept all over you

 

"Your projection- You project happiness and carefree emotions but as soon as I touched you, I couldn't even breathe," You stared at him horror, "What happened to you?" 

 

"Now's not the time, Y/N," He said with a finality in his voice

 

" _He's been kind to us- We can't hurt him- We should help him_ ," The voice sounded mortified that Tony was feeling all that and you winced at the comment

 

You followed him in silence as he led you to your room but before you went in, you paused at the door.

 

"Listen," You said softly, "I know it's not my place- But just, talk to someone- Anyone. You're hiding it right now but there will be a time when you won't be able to," 

 

Tony nodded and gave you tightlipped smile. 

 

"Get some rest, kid," He told you with a smirk but you took a deep breath and held his hand again

 

"I can only help for a moment," You said in a hushed tone and for the first time in a very long time, Tony Stark felt  _happy_  for a few minutes

 

You and him stood in complete silence as tears filled his eyes. Tony whispered a thank you and left. You locked the door behind yourself and suddenly your mind was in turmoil. 

 

_It's just the eyes. It's not him. it's not him. It can't be!_ Your thoughts kept playing on a loop.

 

You stumbled to the bathroom and stared in the mirror as you asked FRIDAY for privacy, whispering to yourself the same thing on repeat. 

 

"It's just the eyes. It's just the eyes," You whispered over and over, again and again.

 

" _Are you sure?_ " She laughed and for the first time ever, from the corner of your eye, you saw her, " _Are you really sure, darling?_ "

 

She was you but... she wasn't. There was an air of arrogance about her. The way her head was tilted up and the soft smile that was plastered on her lips. She was you but she wasn't. She was a better version of you. 

 

"It's not him- It can't be him," You closed your eyes to block out her sight, "It was too long ago- This man was  _nothing_ like him," 

 

Before she could say anything, a knock echoed through your room and a silence enveloped you. 

 

"How are you,  _my love_?" Remy entered slowly and you swallowed away your worries, burying them deep

 

"I can't believe it looks just like  _him_ ," You commented with a sad smile, "The resemblance is uncanny," 

 

Remy's heart soared at hearing this. You weren't even considering the possibility that it could be Winter and he was very pleased to hear that.

 

* * *

 

It was a few hours later when Logan came to your room and Remy hadn't left. 

 

"So, how you holdin' up kid?" Logan sat down on one of the couches

 

"Real subtle, old man," You chuckled as you leaned against Remy and he laughed too

 

"Give me a break," Logan rolled his eyes and you smirked too

 

"I'm fine," You lied, "Really! It was just a lot to process. Everyone was going through so much and it sort of overloaded my senses. Plus, that guy's eyes looked  _exactly_  like Winter's and I swear I could've heard him say my name- It was just an overload on my system," 

 

" _Is that what you're going with?_ " She giggled and you kept your facade, " _Let's hope no one can hear our heartbeat_ ," 

 

"That's it, huh?" Logan cocked a brow and you nodded with a smile

 

You got up from your bed and walked up to him to hold his hand. 

 

"I promise," You pushed a feeling of  _sincerity_  through him, "That's all that happened," 

 

"If you say so, kid," He nodded reluctantly, "Still, I spoke to Stark and we're moving to a safe house in Queens," 

 

You jerked your hand out of his touch and your face became stone cold.

 

"Excuse me?" Your voice didn't waver and more scarily, it didn't give anything away

 

"Yeah- All things considered, I thought that's what's best," Logan shrugged and a venomous smile spread across your lips

 

"Out," You stated as softly as you could

 

" _Calm down. Don't lose control. This isn't the time to lose control_ ," She tried to voice her concern but you drowned her out

 

"What?" Logan didn't quite catch what you'd just said

 

"Did you know about this?" You looked at Remy, "I will know if you're lying," 

 

"No, Gambit was with you," Remy's words tumbled over one another as even he couldn't understand what was happening

 

"Listen to me very carefully- Both of you," You took a deep breath, "I'm not a child- You're not going to make any more decisions  _for_ me. I'm not leaving the tower and you sure as hell can't make me,"

 

"Hey, now," Logan tried to warn you but your eyes were almost glowing

 

"I've been controlled long enough," You knew that was a low blow but you couldn't stop yourself, "No more. Now, leave me alone. Both of you,"

 

Logan and Remy shared a look and Logan left without a word. 

 

You knew your anger was misplaced but you also knew that you had to draw a line in the sand. If not now then when.

 

" _My love_ ," Remy lingered at the door, "You should know by know, Gambit would never do anything you don't want to," 

 

That was the breaking point. You collapsed to the floor and tears streamed down your face. What hadn't happened in months was happening now. 

 

"I just want to go home," Your said shakily as Remy's arms wrapped around you and you cried 

 

"I thought Gambit was home," He chuckled to lighten the mood 

 

You looked up at him with bloodshot eyes and quivering lips. 

 

"You will always be home," You whispered to him as you breathed him in and he hugged you for his dear life

 

If Remy LeBeau had a moment to look back on when he was content, this would be it. 

 

* * *

 

"Hey, I need to talk to you," Sam whispered to Steve as he sat next to Bucky, "Alone," 

 

 

"I can't leave him right now," Steve's eyes bounced from Sam to Bucky, "I don't know what's he going through," 

 

"Where's Nat?" Sam kept his voice low still

 

He'd just come back to the Tower after Rhodey had called him and filled him in with everything that had happened in the one singular day that he'd been away. 

 

"With Clint,"  Steve told him, "Did you hear what happened?" Sam nodded stiffly, "Where's Tony?"

 

"He took Y/N to her room and then Logan said something about going to talk to him- Listen- They're saying that Bucky was the guy Y/N was with," Sam explained, "I don't know what's going through their heads- It can't be possible- I mean-,"

 

"I think they're right, Sam," Steve rubbed the back of his neck, "I asked Buck if he knew Y/N and he mentioned butterflies," 

 

"Steve-," Sam's eyes widened with horror as everything began to click into place, "Maybe- Do you think HYDRA put Barnes in Y/N's life to get to her?" Sam's jaw was clenched as the words dripped from his lips 

 

However, neither of the men were trained spies and didn't notice how Bucky's eyes twitched ever so slightly at the words.

 

"This will kill her when she finds out," Sam pulled Steve out of the room harshly, "You haven't heard how she talks about him, alright? I have,"

 

"What-," Steve couldn't believe what he was hearing

 

"It hasn't been decades for her. It's been a few months for her," Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, "Give or take. She's still healing. Let's just  _hope_  that she doesn't realize that Barnes is Williams otherwise all the progress she's made is going to go down the drain completely," 

 

"What are you saying?" Steve wanted things to spelt out for him 

 

"If Y/N finds out that Barnes is her boyfriend from college- It will kill her," Sam didn't pull back any punches, "Any she might take a few of us with her too," 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to add rhodey but i dont think i can do justice to his character to i think i'm gonna keep him on the background - sorry!
> 
> and i think i'll focus a lil bit more on buckaroo since we've missed out on him so much
> 
> ALSO PLEASE READ THIS IMPORTANT LITTLE BIT  
> if you've got a writing challenge in the following fandoms, please let me know  
> marvel (duh)  
> dc (gotham, legends of tomorrow)  
> teen wolf  
> vampire diaries  
> supernatural  
> PLEASE it would be a lot to me because i just need to write more and i feel like i'm becoming stagnant


	34. Chapter 34

"Goodbye, darling," You laughed loudly, "I'll see you tomorrow night... I hope at least,"

 

"Of course," The man nodded as he kissed your knuckles, "Maybe then I'll finally get your name,"

 

"Only if you behave," You giggled like a school girl and shut the door behind yourself

 

Your whole attitude suddenly changed as the tired took over in your eyes rather than the sparkle of a young doe-eyed girl that was just a moment ago. 

 

The suite was massive in which you'd been placed. All part of the ploy that was being played. The Winter Soldier sat in the corner with his gun on the table. His eyes never straying from you. The rest of his face covered by a mask and his hair tied up neatly. 

 

"Connect me to Crossbones, I need to give an update," You told him and he gave you a nod

 

He never spoke. _Ever_. He's been specially instructed to never speak to you and to never take off his mask in your presence. Your programming was uncertain but his was solid because you'd run a few missions together now and he never once disobeyed his direct orders even when you teased him to death out of boredom. 

 

You came out of the bathroom with your clothes changed while he had been connecting your channel. 

 

"Secure line?" You looked at the Soldier and he nodded, "Of course, let's not waste words," You rolled your eyes and explained everything to your superior 

 

The Winter Soldier moved away from you to give you privacy while you communicated. It was your mission. He was just backup and he knew it. This was your mission and he was only to intervene if things went sideways. 

 

He stared at your body movements closely. Looking to see if he could find something. Anything at all because there was eerily familiar to you at that he could never place.

 

"I'll be in touch," You spoke a bit louder as you took in a breath and that's when the Soldier listened to your words, "I'll show my interest in biochemistry and he'll take me to his lab and then I'll dispose of the doctor," You paused to listen for instruction, "Yes, I understand- Yes, Soldier boy will be right behind me. It's still surprising how he can blend in like that- Of course. I'll establish contact in the morning. Goodnight," 

 

You stood up and stretched. 

 

"I can always feel you looking," Your words came off a little more venomously than you wanted, "But you never speak. If there's something you like, then maybe you should take off that muzzle and use your words," You walked back towards him, "I can feel like your eyes all over me, Soldier," 

 

He only grunted and your face fell. He never spoke. On any mission that you and him had run together. He never spoke to you but his eyes, his eyes just seemed so familiar to you. However, you could never place them. The Soldier's superior didn't like you and him running missions together and even he had picked up on it and he was supposed to be a mindless machine.

 

"You don't like me, do you?" Your voice was small and the Soldier's eyes suddenly shot up to meet yours, "It's alright if you don't- I mean- I know you're all stealth and silence and I don't operate in the shadows like you," 

 

He kept looking at you but he knew that he couldn't take off his mask because then he would be disobeying a direct order. He took in a deep breath and looked out the window for threats before looking back at you. 

 

_I don't dislike you. I'm not supposed to feel anything towards you_ , The Solider signed to you and you let out an airy laugh 

 

_This is the first time you've ever spoken to me_ , You signed back with a smile _, What else am I supposed to think?_  

 

_I'm not allowed to speak to anyone. We both have different orders,_  He explained and your eyes widened 

 

_Are you disobeying a direct order?_  You asked him slowly and he gave you a soft nod,  _Why?_

_I didn't want you to think that I disliked you,_  He sighed with his brows furrowed 

 

_Does this mean that you like me?_  You cocked a brow and his worry flooded your senses, _Don't worry. I won't tell. It'll be our little secret_ , You signed as you walked closer to him and his back touched the curtained wall _, Why are we signing anyway? Can't you speak?_

_They're always listening_ , He tapped against his earpiece and you nodded as you remembered that a job is a job and you were working right now

 

"I'm gonna sleep," You resigned, "You should rest too," He shook his head

 

_I'm supposed to look after you_ , He smiled beneath the mask but you couldn't see it

 

"I'll see you in the morning, Soldier boy," You leaned closer and kissed him over his muzzle

 

His breath hitched and you smirked to yourself because you could feel the changes inside him. 

 

The next day went perfectly. The young assistant took you to breakfast and then to his lab where you pretended to act like a little school girl, all the while, the Soldier was just far enough to keep an eye on you. When you got to the doctor, you made the young man feel queasy and he excused himself. 

 

The Soldier saw you conjure a gun out of nowhere and shoot the doctor but there was no sound, no blood, no trace of anything. Just a man whose heart stopped with fright and the autopsy which will show just that. 

 

That's why you were such a prized possession and that's why the Winter Soldier was slowly becoming a personal bodyguard for you. HYDRA liked it when things were quiet and not messy. No one bothered remembering a girl. Especially when everyone had a different description of the girl. 

 

You acted like a scared girl that screamed for help and everyone gave a different recollection. Some said there was a chubby redhead that found the doctor. Some said there was a tall brunette. Some said that the girl definitely had blonde hair. It took a lot of focus to show everyone something different but you got it done even though it drained you. 

 

Perhaps that's why it was a good thing that the Soldier was in such close proximity to you after such missions. Your exhaustion would almost render you unconscious and he would have to take you to safety. 

 

Winter William's love was planted perhaps but every time the Soldier saw the Siren in the field, his heart would beat a little faster in ways he couldn't understand. 

 

* * *

 

"Hey, you doin' alright, Buck?" Steve entered the room and found Bucky sitting by a massive window that looked over the city 

 

Bucky was pulled out of his thoughts as he turned and nodded softly. 

 

"Did you remember anything more?" Steve asked as he sat at the edge of the bed and Bucky shook his head

 

Maybe for him, he felt that if he didn't lie by using his words, it wasn't really lying. 

 

"Do you want to talk about how you know Y/N?" Steve pressed on but Bucky turned away

 

"Captain Rogers, General Ross is here to see you with the rest of the Avengers," FRIDAY announced softly and Bucky huffed a small laugh

 

"What's so funny, Buck?" Steve stood up slowly but still maintained his distance

 

"The army never gave you a rank," Bucky met Steve's eyes, "But you're still goin' by 'Captain'," 

 

"Too late to stop them now, Buck," Steve chuckled, "I'll come back in a while, alright?" 

 

Steve didn't wait for an acknowledgement and left quickly to see what the General wanted. 

 

* * *

 

"Hey, what's going on?" Steve caught up with Sam just outside the conference room

 

"I don't know," Sam whispered, "But somethin' about this- it doesn't sit right with me," 

 

"Yeah, me too. Hey, also, don't let him know that Bucky is in the building," Steve said softly and Sam groaned

 

"Thin ice, Steve. Real thin," He mumbled as both of them walked inside the room

 

General Ross was standing and Natasha, Clint, Vision, Wanda, Tony and Rhodey were already sitting inside. 

 

"Thank you for joining us gentlemen," Ross stated with an air of annoyance, "We can finally begin," 

 

"What's this about, General?" Steve took a seat and noticed that there were thick books placed infront of everyone, "And what are the Sokovia Accords?"

 

"I'm so glad you asked, Captain," Ross smirked and turned on his presentation 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i hope you liked that flashback and how this is going omg i'm really excited   
> and I KNOW that bucky is already at the compound so like.. how will the civil war thing play out but HOLD ON TO YO SEATS FOLKS because i really hope you'll like where this will goooo   
> and i'm sorry but the reader will be a bit of side character for a bit because like i said before, we're gonna focus more on the rest of the story but YOU WILL BE THERE just... not as much


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHKY SO this chapter is so fucking long is because it was originally supposed to be two chapters but i made it ONE because this is all happening in ONE SINGLE DAY!!
> 
> also, i brought back MY PERSONAL FAVE so enjoy!!!!!!!!

You woke up late in the morning with your heart in your throat and a feeling consuming you. A feeling which was screaming that something was very, deeply wrong. 

 

"What's going on?" You whispered to yourself as you ran fingers through your hair 

 

Worry flooded your system and you didn't know why. 

 

_"It's not me!_ " The voice said quickly, " _It's something else!_ " 

 

You took a deep breath and wobbled to the bathroom and turned on the tap of the bathtub. You stepped in it and let the hot water wash over you completely. It took only a little while until you were entirely submerged in it and had no plans of leaving it even though the steaming water was beginning to cool down rapidly. The tension in your body had woken you up and the voice in your head had assured you numerous times that it wasn't _you_  who was feeling these emotions but rather feeling them through something or someone else and so now you were now sitting in the water fully clothed. 

 

Water was the only thing that could dampen your mutantcy. It was the only thing that could make you feel  _less_. You didn't know what was going on but you knew that it couldn't be good. 

 

Your hands held onto the edges of the tub and your nose and mouth were above the surface of the water so you could breathe; otherwise, all of you was under and you didn't know how long you were going to stay here. 

 

* * *

 

"We have to sign this," Rhodey argued, "If General Ross is saying something then it means that he's got sufficient reason for it!"

 

"Are you serious right now?" Sam laughed sarcastically, "How long will you do this, man? You can't be with us and be against us," 

 

"No one's against anyone," Clint tried to diffuse the tension

 

"We can't do this," Steve's voice echoed, "We can't let them," 

 

"I can't believe you're saying this," Natasha stared him down, "You can't be this arrogant, Rogers! This isn't just  _our_ government, this is the  _whole_ world we're talking about and they all agree that we need to be put into check," 

 

"She's right and you know it," Rhodey defended her, "It's almost unheard of that a resolution is passed unanimously in the United Nations," 

 

Steve's jaw clenched but he didn't say anything and turned the page of the thick document. 

 

"Do you have anything to add, Tony?" Bruce asked softly and Tony took a deep breath

 

"He's already made up his mind," Natasha stated as she glanced at him, "And he's right," 

 

"You can't be serious," Steve looked up, "We can't hand over our freedom to them," 

 

"Are you even listening to yourself?" Tony finally spoke, "You may not have a problem with getting your hands dirty but I do," 

 

"Tony-," Clint, along with everyone else, was taken aback by the sudden outburst

 

"I will sign this because Ultron was my doing and I put all those people in danger and they ended up dead," Tony's voice shook as he explained

 

"I'm gonna tell you to shut up right there, Tony," Rhodey interrupted, "You did not create Ultron alone- Bruce was just as much involved and he would've never caused as much damage as he did if Wanda and her brother hadn't helped him," 

 

"Rhodey's right," Bruce agreed quietly, "We built Ultron together and- and if you're signing this then so am I,"

 

"Bruce, you can't do this to yourself!" Steve argued and Bruce chuckled darkly

 

"Really? Really, now you suddenly care? You haven't trusted the Hulk since day one. Tony is the only one who's never tiptoed around me," Bruce's eyes were livid, "You can pretend to be righteous all you want but Tony was right, Steve. Everything special about you did come out of a bottle and you've got a prewar criminal record to prove it," 

 

A silence engulfed everyone as Bruce left the room and Tony took a breath. Steve's eyes were almost red and no one wanted to touch that with a ten-foot pole. 

 

"Bruce has been handed every single governmental document on metahumans there is and he's signed them all because he cares about himself and the people he loves," Tony's voice was soft, "He is standing by me because I have supported him no matter what he turns into because the Hulk is just as brilliant as Banner," 

 

"Is that why you created the HulkBuster? Because you trusted him so much?" Sam tried to provoke Tony but he just shook his head as a sad smile came on his lips 

 

"You just don't get it," Tony sighed, "Room full of soldiers and the  _civilians_ want to follow orders," He said slowly and left as well

 

"He's got a contingency for all of us," Rhodey explained, "The  _only_ reason he had to use Bruce's was because of  _her_ ," He pointed to Wanda, who hadn't said anything throughout because it had only just now dawned on her that Pietro, her own brother had been in a coma for so long because of her own actions which led to it 

 

"May I add something?" Vision spoke and Sam rolled his eyes, "The past years that Mr Stark has come forward as IronMan, the world has seen more and more of metahumans and such, or rather, they have begun to come forward more openly now. During this time, the number of possible world-ending scenarios have also increased-,"

 

"So, it's our fault?" Clint couldn't comprehend it

 

"No, but it may be one of the reasons. Us being powerful is an open invitation to more powerful beings. Power invites challenge and in those challenges, conflicts arise, during which, catastrophe is an easy thing to come about. It isn't our fault directly but it is our responsibility,"

 

* * *

 

Tony sat in his office as his ears rang with what Rhodey had said but he still couldn't believe it. 

 

_Ultron was my failure_ , He kept telling himself but every time he dissected the situation, he realized that Bruce was with him and Wanda and Pietro had also played a part in it.

 

"FRIDAY, go through the Accords and highlight all the things I need to look at personally," Tony announced into the empty room and leaned back into his chair

 

"You doin' alright?" Bruce knocked softly and entered 

 

"Yeah," Tony lied through his teeth but at this point, it was almost second nature to him

 

"I lost my temper in there," Bruce sat across Tony and took off his glasses

 

"If you'd lost your temper then there would've been a bit more noise," Tony laughed and Bruce smiled as well 

 

"I've had to deal with Ross longer than anyone," Bruce began, "Ever since Betty and I have been together, he's tried to somehow tear us apart but she's just- she sticks around. I'll sign it if you want, Tony, but read the fine print because if Ross is involved then he's probably trying to get us to agree to something that we shouldn't," 

 

"I know," Tony nodded, "I don't trust  _him_ but I trust that this will be for the better and FRIDAY is going through the document right now," 

 

"I'm sorry it had to be like this," Bruce sighed and Tony nodded, "You know, Betty _hates_ purple and Ross actually got a clause put in one of the many, many things he's made me sign that I need to be in something purple at all times?"

 

"He's really got it out for you, huh?" Tony laughed and Bruce chuckled too

 

They both needed a humane moment and silence fell as they contemplated what would happen next. 

 

"Your godmother is requesting your company, Boss," FRIDAY stated and Bruce stood up to take his leave

 

"I can't wait to hear what's this about," Tony smirked and made his way down to the private facility in the Tower

 

* * *

 

"I'm here. what do you need," Tony asked loudly as he entered the room 

 

"Oh, my darling boy," Peggy smiled as she reached for him, "I've missed you, sweetheart," Tony leaned closer so she could kiss his cheek

 

"I'm sorry for not visiting sooner," He almost collapsed in the chair next to the bed, "There's been- Well, I've had some stuff to deal with- But, hey, the new medicine is working and you're looking great," 

 

"Yes, the new medication is making me feel quite young- Give my thanks to Stephen," She nodded with a smile, "And I'm sure you do have plenty to do," Peggy added knowingly, "Especially _now_ ,"

 

"Now?" Tony cocked a brow, "What are you on about, old lady?"

 

"Oh, don't think that just because you've hidden me away from the world that the world is hidden from me," She laughed melodically, "FRIDAY, would you play that clip that I was watching a moment ago," Peggy asked and the AI turned on the television to how a news anchor standing outside the UN building in New York

 

"And in a landslide, a hundred and seventeen countries have signed the resolution, which is now being called the Sokovia Accords," The news anchor explained, "American Superheroes will have to register with various governments and be assigned to be deployed and anyone acting on their own will be known as a rogue vigilante- Let's take to the streets and see what people think," 

 

"I think it's great!" A woman said, "I mean, can't wait for them to be taken off the streets. They cause more trouble than they take care of you," 

 

"Except Spiderman!" Another yelled from behind 

 

"True, that one is just tryin' to help, you know," The woman agreed, "I bought him a churro once, sweet young boy," 

 

"So, basically, let me get this straight," The news anchor asked as he looked around, "This one's for the crowd, can everyone hear me? You want every single superhero to sign the Accords except Spiderman?" 

 

The crowd agreed and nodded with the various degrees of, "He's a kid," or, "He's really doing his best," or even, "Leave him out of this!" 

 

The television shut off and Peggy turned her attention towards Tony

 

"He's a good kid, Peg," Tony smiled softly

 

"And with you keeping him under your wing through this, he will do wonders- Just like you did," Peggy held his hands and gave them a soft squeeze, "However, is there anything you'd like to tell me, Anthony?" She asked slowly but with a stern voice and Tony took a deep breath to explain it all

 

* * *

 

Your whole body was almost frozen as anxiety kept piling onto you as you tried to get out of the tub. It was freezing cold now and your clothes were so stuck to your skin that you couldn't even peel them off. 

 

"FRIDAY, could you please call Amelia," You asked as the shivering was slowly beginning to make a home inside your bones

 

_"Do you still think that it's not Winter?"_ She kept asking because the anxiety made her think about things that weren't possible and you just wanted to shut her out but after her nagging, even you didn't know any more

 

"No metal arm, no Winter," You whispered to yourself

 

_"But he was all covered in grime and grit- Even if he had a metal arm- You would've never seen it!"_ She argued and you didn't have a reason to dispute it so you chose not to answer

 

It was a little while before you room's door was being opened and you heard Amelia's voice calling for you

 

"FRIDAY, tell her I'm in the bathroom," Your voice was too low for even you to hear but the AI picked it up and suddenly she came rushing through

 

"Oh my god, what happened?" Amelia knelt beside the tub 

 

"Something's happened- Someone is extremely tense or anxious and I can't shake it off-," You explained slowly, "I couldn't leave the water- It's the only thing that stops me from feeling," 

 

"It's probably Wanda," Amelia didn't see the point in lying, "She's the only one strong enough to affect you like this," 

 

"What happened?" You asked as she helped you stand on your feet and then cut your shirt off

 

"Nothing that you need to worry about right now," She assured you, "I'll get you cleaned up and ready and then you can go out into the city with your friend," 

 

"You don't like Remy very much, do you?" You asked with a laugh but Amelia's breath got caught in her throat

 

"It's not that," She began, "I just- He hides. Much like Mr Stark, he hides behind walls and it's difficult to trust someone who's always hiding," 

 

"So, you don't trust Tony, either?" You looked at her as she wrapped a towel around you

 

"It's a fact that I've let him know on many occasions," She laughed, "He thinks of it as a challenge," 

 

"He is an odd one," You noted and Amelia hummed to herself 

 

"That he is," She agreed, "Come on now," She helped you stand up and lead you back into the room

 

FRIDAY turned up the heat and you weren't shivering anymore but Amelia was sweating. 

 

"Thank you for coming- I know this isn't what you're supposed to do-," You began and she cut you off

 

"Don't worry," She smiled brightly, "I'm supposed to take care of you and this is me doing just that," You nodded with a weak smile

 

* * *

 

"Oh for heaven's sake," Peggy sighed, "Steve surely couldn't be so daft!"

 

"You can't talk to him!" Tony reasoned, "If you tell him to sign then he'll think then that I told on him,"

 

"Didn't you?" She smirked and Tony was at a loss for words

 

"Ms Carter, you have another visitor," A nurse entered the room, "Should I tell him to wait or come back after a while?" 

 

"Who is it, darling?" Peggy asked sweetly

 

"It's Captain Rogers, ma'am," The nurse answered

 

"Send him in," Peggy nodded and Tony looked mortified

 

"Peg," He sighed, "I'm gonna go," He leaned closer and kissed her forehead, "I promise to visit more," 

 

"I'll hold you to that, my darling boy," She said softly and passed Steve as he left 

 

"Tony, what are you doing here?" Steve's voice came off more accusatory than he intended

 

"It's my Tower, Rogers. I can go wherever I want," Tony shot back and walked off

 

Steve sighed and shook his head but plastered a smile on his lips before walking into Peggy's room

 

"Hey, how's my best girl," He said charmingly 

 

"Don't you even dare. Rogers," Peggy looked very cross, "What did you say to Tony?" 

 

"What do you care about Howard's kid?" Steve folded his arms and fell into the chair which Tony had occupied a few moments ago 

 

"Because I loved you a lifetime ago, Steve, however, no one hurts my little boy," Peggy stared at him, "Now tell me what happened?" 

 

"Your little boy?" Steve was becoming more and more confused, "Did you and Howard? Oh god, you two did!" 

 

"Oh for goodness sake, he's my godson," Peggy groaned, "Howard, may god rest his soul, was an abusive drunk and the only two right choices he made for Tony was marrying his mother and naming me as his godmother-  So I'll ask again,  _what happened_?" 

 

"Peggy," Steve took a deep breath, "It's complicated," Peggy's stern look didn't waver, "But..."

 

* * *

 

"Boss, found something interesting in the Accords," FRIDAY told Tony, "There's a subsection for metahumans and mutants who aren't supers," 

 

"So, basically, anyone with any powers?" Tony walked back to the lab to talk to Bruce, "Shit- Get me Logan," 

 

* * *

 

"Do you feel any better?" Amelia asked you 

 

"I still feel really tense and anxious," You rubbed your hands together

 

You'd thrown up multiple times due to the anxiety and now the lightheadedness was sinking in. 

 

"I've called Mr LeBeau. He'll be here soon, so, you and him can go out for the day- Have food first," She smiled and you thanked her again

 

 

* * *

 

Wanda sat in a private ICU. Pietro was lying in bed and the monitor beeped with every heartbeat. A tube was coming out of his mouth which was helping him breathe. 

 

"I did this to you, brother," She cried softly as tears fell from her eyes, "I did this to you," 

 

* * *

 

Natasha paced the corridor before knocking on the door. She didn't hear any answer.

 

"James?" She entered slowly so she wouldn't startle him, "Did you eat yet?" 

 

Steve had helped Bucky clean up the night before but his hair still covered his face as he sat by the window, looking over the city. 

 

"He said he'd be back," Bucky mumbled but didn't look at Natasha

 

"Something came up," She explained, "He'll come as soon as he's done," Another silence, "I brought your backpack," That made him look up, "Your notes and books- Everything is in there. I made sure no one touched anything," 

 

She handed him the bag and he pulled out the worn out book with red and blue tabs sticking out

 

"What are those for?" She couldn't help but ask 

 

"To help me remember," His finger traced the blue tabs and put the diary back into the bag, "What do you want, Natalia?"

 

"Nothing," She stood up to leave, "I just wanted to see an old friend," 

 

* * *

 

"What do you want, Stark?" Logan entered the lab and was met with Bruce

 

"Did you hear about the Accords?" Bruce took off his glasses 

 

"I'm Canadian and over 200," Logan shrugged, "Legally, nothing can touch me- And I wasn't even involved in that shitstorm you guys brewed up," 

 

"He's got you there, Bruce," Tony chuckled as he emerged from behind a wall of beakers full of chemicals, "But no, that's why I wanted to talk to you,"

 

"Then what?" Logan cocked a brow and crossed his arms over his chest

 

"There's a subsection in the Accords for metas," Tony explained, "If the Accords are successful, it will open the door for a mutant and metahuman registration act and they don't have to be supers for them to be legally obligated to register," 

 

"And you want me to see what's Charles's take on this," Logan concluded with a sigh

 

"And Erik's," Tony added, "They're extremely powerful and hold between them almost all the population of mutants in this country," 

 

"Fine, but I'm taking one of your fancy bikes," Logan groaned and he left the lab, "And I'm gonna wreck it!" He called out

 

"Thanks!" Tony said loudly, "FRIDAY,"

 

"On it. GPS tracking is activated on all vehicles in the garage," The AI responded and Tony said a soft thanks

 

* * *

 

As soon as you stepped foot outside the Tower, you felt like you could breathe again. You inhaled the chilly December air of New York and Remy trailed behind you slowly. 

 

"This would be the first time I'm leaving the building," You commented as you wrapped your jacket around yourself tightly 

 

"I'm glad to accompany you,  _my love_ ," Remy took your hand in his and you two began to walk down the street 

 

You didn't really have a destination in mind but rather just wanted to explore the city. It had been a whirlwind of a few weeks. You'd woken up in the end of October and before you could adjust to what was happening, you'd met Clint and attacked him and ended up quarantined yourself, which made you miss Thanksgiving, not that you ever really celebrated much of anything, you just liked when everyone got together to laugh and drink. However, now, everything was covered in snow and red and green and festive season was almost breathtaking. 

 

"It's so calm," You pressed against Remy as wrapped his arm around your waist, "Take me someplace to eat- I'm starving!"  

 

* * *

 

"Nurse Pond would like to speak with you in private," FRIDAY asked Tony and he and Bruce exchanged looks because Amelia rarely ever visited in the lab unless it was urgent 

 

"Yeah, I'll be right out," Tony exited the lab and she was already pacing in the hallway, "What's wrong?" 

 

"Did something happen to Wanda?" She asked directly, "Because Y/N was in a tub of water all morning because she couldn't move. That's how much tension and anxiety was coursing through her body," 

 

"It wasn't just Wanda," He sighed, "The whole- The whole place is on edge. Did you see the news?" Amelia shook her head

 

"No, I was with Y/N," She explained, "I helped her get ready and then sent her out for the day with LeBeau," 

 

"Okay," Tony nodded as he fell into thought, "I need to talk to Y/N and talk to her if she's okay with coming back to the Tower or if she needs to be placed somewhere else," 

 

* * *

 

"Criminal record?" Sam repeated, "Banner really crossed the line- I mean- How could he lie right to our faces?!" 

 

"I know, right?" Clint nodded, "I mean, Steve? That guy is all justice and righteousness," 

 

"He wasn't lying," Natasha's voice was quiet as she walked into the room

 

"Excuse me? Wanna run by that me again?" Sam stared at her in shock

 

"Bruce wasn't lying. When Fury recruited us the first time- When Loki unleashed hell on New York- Tony hacked into all their documents. Even the ones that were sealed," She explained slowly, "It had a sealed document on Steve and you know how Tony can't resist a sealed document," 

 

"You're saying that  _the_ Captain America was a criminal?" Clint said the words that just felt wrong on his own tongue 

 

"Not a criminal- Just a guy with a record," She shrugged and sat down 

 

"What's a record anyway?" Sam defended, "One misdemeanour? Two maybe? I'm sure it's being blown way out of proportion," 

 

"Eighty-seven, actually," Natasha chuckled, "Back alley fights, bar brawls, protests that went sideways- The list was a long one- And James was in every single one of them too,"  She added, "Steve was skinny and sick and too small to throw a punch, let alone fight before the serum. So, James was always there because Steve was a guy who wouldn't back down from a fight," 

 

"And you think he's doing the same now because he's got Barnes back?" Sam looked at her and she smiled

 

"You're the expert on this, aren't you?" She stated sweetly

 

* * *

 

You sat in a diner booth while Remy went to the restroom. You pulled your phone out of your pocket and scrolled through the contacts until you came to Peter's name. Your finger hovered for just a moment and the voice in your head screamed  _Do it!_  and so you did. You called Peter. 

 

"Hi, Y/N," His voice came through, "What's up,"

 

"Hey, Pete," You answered happily, "Are you at the Tower yet?"

 

"No, but I'm on my way- I got- I got delayed," Peter sounded out of breath, "Everything alright?"

 

"Yeah- I was wondering if you could do me a favour," You asked unsurely, "I need you to check something out for me when you get to the Tower," 

 

* * *

 

It was late afternoon when Steve was finally was able to visit Bucky. He was still sitting by the window; he hadn't moved. The notebook with the blue and red tabs was on his lap. He kept going through it to remember more, to fill in the pieces. 

 

"Hey," Steve knocked and entered but Bucky didn't seem to acknowledge his presence, "Did you eat anything?" 

 

"Can't," Bucky sighed and when he met Steve's eyes, there was a deep sadness in them 

 

"Buck, whatever you're going through- We'll figure it out- We'll get it fixed," Steve tried to assure his friend but it was of no use 

 

"Y/N doesn't remember me, does she?" Bucky's question caught him off guard 

 

"I don't even know why Y/N would know you- Or why Remy attacked you," Steve sat in front of him, "They keep telling me about an alias but I found nothing in FRIDAY's data about it. I guess I'll talk to her when I get the chance," 

 

"You can't corner her, Steve," Bucky warned, "Leave her out of this. They- They made me- I betrayed her," 

 

"Bucky, you gotta help me out here," Steve tried again, "Tell me why she knows you- Or thinks she might- Or why you know her," 

 

"I think I need to sleep," Bucky's eyes fell to his notebook again and Steve stood up 

 

"Tell FRIDAY if you need me- I'll come runnin', Buck. I promise," Steve said softly and left

 

Bucky didn't move from the window and opened the notebook from one of the blue tabs. He had drawn a small butterfly in the corner and he traced the edge of the paper as he thought of you.

 

* * *

 

"Come on, Soldier boy," You laughed as you pinned up your hair, "You wouldn't look half bad if you just learned to dress up right," 

 

The Soldier glared at you but your smirk didn't waver and you went back to doing your makeup. He stood on the far side of the room, keeping an eye on you like a hawk stalking its prey but you weren't his prey, not really, not yet, at least. He was guarding you so other men won't prey on you. 

 

"All done," You said softly as you stood up and twirled in your dress to show him, "What do you think?" 

 

He didn't say anything and he knew that you didn't expect him to either but you just liked to tease. 

 

"One of these days, Soldier boy, your resolve is going to break," You smiled softly as you walked up to him and a necklace of a butterfly appeared around your neck, "And I'll be here to see it," 

 

The Soldier swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat and your face fell

 

"I'm sorry," You frowned, "I didn't mean to push," You could feel his uneasiness and confusion but it was because of the necklace that was resting between your collarbones and he couldn't understand why it was important to him

 

"I'll see you when I get back," You whispered to him softly and took a breath to say something more but decided against it 

 

"Ready?" Crossbones opened the door and you smiled brightly 

 

"Always am," You winked, "See you later, Soldier boy. Come on, Bones," 

 

The Soldier stood in his place and saw you leave with Crossbones. He didn't move until you got back and helped you get into bed because you were so exhausted that none of your illusions were holding and your necklace flickered until it faded away. He looked at your sleeping form and tried to remember but nothing came to him.

 

* * *

 

Bucky's finger traced the page again and he sighed as he closed the notebook. 

 

_I'm sorry for not remembering when I should have,_ His mind kept repeating even though it wasn't his fault but there was nothing he could say or do

 

* * *

 

"Where to now,  _my love_?" Remy's voice was soft 

 

"How about a walk around the city?" You asked, "I just want to look around- Take in the sights," 

 

"Anything you want," He smiled and you two walked out of the diner

 

You and Remy walked down the street and got lost in the crowd but one person that had caught a glimpse of you couldn't believe what they had just seen. They couldn't comprehend it. 

 

* * *

 

"Okay, Peter, you can do it," Peter whispered to himself, "You've fought villains, you've had buildings fall on you, you can be sneaky!" He tiptoed towards the corridor and someone cleared their throat behind him

 

"Going somewhere?" Natasha asked softly 

 

"Ms Romanoff," Peter squeaked, "I- I- I was just- I wanted to-," 

 

"There's only  _one_ room in use in that section, Peter," She smirked knowingly, "What are you up to?" 

 

"Okay, so- so I heard that you and Mr- Captain Rogers brought back Sergent Barnes," He explained quickly, "And I was reading up on the second world war for a project a while ago so I really wanted to  _see_ him," 

 

"You want to meet James?" She cocked a brow and Peter swallowed as he nodded, hoping that his lies mixed with the truth were enough, "Okay but only under my supervision," 

 

"I can handle myself, you know," He mumbled under his breath

 

"I know that but no one else needs to know that, kid," She winked and Peter's heart dropped into his stomach because  _obviously,_ Natasha knew about his little secret 

 

* * *

 

"Hey, wait," You suddenly stopped in front of a music shop, "Let's go here," 

 

"It has been a while since Gambit has heard you play," Remy said absentmindedly as he followed you in 

 

You were almost  _enchanted_ by all the instruments that were on display

 

_"I used to play?"_ Even the voice couldn't really remember

 

"I played something?" You asked Remy and he nodded

 

"The piano," He smiled, "You played like the angels sing,  _my love._ You had sent Gambit and Logan some tapes and pictures from when-,"

 

"From before I was taken," You completed his sentence for him, "I think I remember it- Somewhat- I'm not sure," Your fingers traced the keys of a piano that was sitting in the middle of the store, "Do you still have them? The pictures, I mean," 

 

"Yes," Remy said a little too quickly, "At the apartment," 

 

"In New Orleans," You nodded as you sat down and pressed the keys softly 

 

"No," He smiled, "Gambit has a small one here too- I live at the Tower for you- It's not Gambit's home," 

 

"Can I see it later?" You asked and the music filled the air as you played a song that you didn't even remember knowing but your hands did

 

The person who had seen you outside the diner now knew for sure that it was most certainly you that he was looking at and he couldn't believe it. His hair were a little more grey from when he had seen you but his eyes were still sharp. 

 

"Well, isn't this interesting," He smiled softly as he went on his way but he had committed you to his memory, not that you had changed much, and the red-eyed mutant that you were with as well 

 

* * *

 

"James," Natasha knocked on the door and Bucky quickly snapped shut his notebook, "I have someone here who wants to meet you," 

 

"Games, Natalia?" Bucky's eyes were cold and calculating

 

"Not this time," She whispered and Peter entered with a grin

 

Bucky was terrified.  _Why would she bring a child near me?!_ He couldn't understand anything 

 

"Sergent Barnes, it's such an honour," Peter extended his hand but Bucky just stared at him until he withdrew it, "I've read about you and it's so awesome to meet a member of the _Original_ Howling Commandos!" 

 

Bucky looked at Natasha and then back at Peter who was still going on

 

"But I don't think that there would've been a Howling Commandos without Ms Carter and I've met her so I think you're the  _second_ one I'm meeting-," He ranting on like an excited puppy, "And oh my god, is that a metal arm? That's so cool! Is it till your elbow or does it go all the way up?"

 

"Shoulder," Bucky whispered and Peter went wide-eyed

 

"That's amazing," He was in awe of Bucky and it was shocking to him in every single way, "What kind of metal is it? Do you think Mr Stark could look at it? We could develop prosthetics for kids with this tech. Right, Ms Romanoff?"

 

"Stark? Howard Stark?" Bucky's expression changed completely and it didn't go unnoticed for Natasha

 

"No- Tony Stark," Peter corrected, "Howard Stark was his dad- He died a long time ago," 

 

"Peter, time to go," Natasha stated and Peter knew better than to argue

 

"It was really awesome to meet you, Sergent Barnes!" Peter said with a smile and left quickly

 

"James," Natasha sat in front of Bucky on a chair, "Is there something you want to tell me?" 

 

Bucky stared at her and swallowed. He knew. He remembered. He was full of guilt. 

 

"Where am I?" He asked knowing full well what the answer might be

 

"Stark Tower," She sighed and his eyes were full of tears; she knew what was going on, she knew, "HYDRA made you do it. It's not your fault," 

 

"But I did it," Bucky's jaw clenched, "I did it," 

 

* * *

 

"Hurry up!" You groaned, "I'm freezing my ass off!" 

 

"The lock is frozen," Remy laughed, "No one has been here for months," 

 

"Oh my goodness," You leaned against the wall, "Out of all the buildings you had to pick, you chose this one? Why?" 

 

"It's cheap," He chuckled and the key finally turned 

 

The place was huge. It was spacious and you were just wondering why it was so cheap, just then on queue, a bright neon sign lit up across the street, flooding the apartment with light. 

 

"That's why it's so cheap," You nodded with a smirk

 

"That and we're in Hell's Kitchen," He shrugged, "Not exactly the safest neighbourhood- But the cheapest," 

 

"But we can handle ourselves, can't we," You smiled and Remy brought you in 

 

You lips connected to his and there weren't fireworks but it felt safe and like home. You kissed him deeply but it was cut short by the doorknob being jiggled. 

 

"Expecting someone?" You whispered and Remy shook his head as a card glowed in his hand

 

He slowly moved towards the door and opened it wide, where a blind man stood. 

 

"Can I help you?" Remy said politely, "Are you lost, sir?"

 

"Oh, I'm afraid so," The blind man laughed, "I can't find my floor and the elevator put me on the wrong floor," 

 

"Hi, that's alright," You walked to him, "I'm Y/N,"

 

"I'm Matt- Matt Murdock," He told you, "I'm supposed to be on the 6th floor," 

 

"You're on the 5th," You explained, "Come on, I'll guide you up," 

 

"Thank you, Y/N," Matt smiled, "That's very kind of you," 

 

"Not a problem," Remy's card went back into his sleeve

 

"Are you new here, Y/N?" Matt asked you as you took his hand and led him up the stairs and Remy followed closely behind

 

"No, I'm just visiting," You explained, "We hadn't checked in on the apartment in a few months so we thought to go by," 

 

"It's not a safe neighbourhood to just leave things, you know," Matt warned the two of you

 

"It's not a safe neighbourhood for a blind man either," Remy whispered and you shot him a look 

 

"So, what do you do?" You couldn't help but be curious about the blind man in a suit as you brought him to his apartment door

 

"I'm a lawyer- Got my own firm- Nelson and Murdock," He handed you his card, "If you ever need it," 

 

"I'll be sure to keep it in mind," You took it from Matt, "Have a good night," 

 

"You two as well," Matt smiled brightly and closed the door behind him 

 

"Gambit doesn't like him," Remy stated with his arms crossed

 

"Oh hush, he was nice," You rolled your eyes, "And you never know when someone might need a lawyer- He seems very honest,"

 

You two made your way down the to your apartment and your phone buzzed as Remy walked in and you stood by the door

 

> **Peter** \-  He has a metal arm. It goes all the way up to his shoulder. 

 

The phone almost slipped out of your hands as you read that text. You read it over and over. You looked at the time, it was almost 6 pm. You couldn't breathe. 

 

" _It's Winter_ ," She kept repeating over and over, again and again, but you had no answer nor rebuttal to it 

 

Your phone buzzed again and Tony's name flashed on the screen. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves. 

 

"Hey, what's up," You answered softly 

 

"I don't know how to say this," Tony sighed, "But I-,"

 

"Is this about the anxiety that I felt in the Tower this morning?" You cut him off and Remy looked at you but you raised your hand to give you a moment 

 

"Yeah," Tony said, "I'm really sorry about this kid- I'll arrange you a safe house to stay until everything gets sorted," 

 

"I don't think it'll be an issue," You smiled at Remy, "I'm in Hell's Kitchen. At Remy's apartment. I could stay here until you figure things out, right?" 

 

"That's not exactly the best area in New York, you know," Tony chuckled and you hummed in agreement 

 

"So I keep hearing," You acknowledged, "But I can handle myself- And I doubt Remy would be against be staying here,"

 

"Gambit would love it, actually," Remy whispered and you smirked at him

 

"How's Wanda? I mean- It must've been something big to spook her like that," You asked, "Amelia said that she's the only one strong enough to affect me like that," 

 

"It's complicated, kid," Tony's voice dropped low, "But it's nothing that you need to worry about right now," 

 

"Gives me a heads up if I do," You sang the words and he huffed a small laugh

 

You hung up and looked at Remy but your heart was already a mile away and unsure of everything that was hanging in the air. You had to go back to the Tower. You had to see Winter. You had to. You just hadn't figured out how yet. 

 

* * *

 

"How's everyone's lookin' FRIDAY?" Tony sat in his office alone 

 

"Everyone's in their rooms except Agent Romanoff. She's with Sergent Barnes," The AI's voice echoed, "Ms Potts is coming up to see you,"

 

"I know," He spoke mostly to himself and the clicking heels approached him

 

"Bruce called," Pepper said softly as she entered, "You sure you want to do this?"

 

"We need to be held accountable for our actions, Pepper," Tony's eyes seemed almost hollow, "I don't know why Steve doesn't see that," 

 

"What about the section on metas?" She asked as she sat down next to him

 

"I'm still working on that," He took a breath, "I'll figure this out- I always figure things out," 

 

"I know," She nodded, "But maybe you don't have to figure things out by yourself. Talk to Fury, maybe Phil and Maria. Propose a different agenda," 

 

"Fury and Maria are off the grid and Phil won't listen to me- He's Steve's fanboy," Tony groaned as he rubbed his eyes

 

"Yeah- But he'll listen to Peggy," Pepper nudged him, "And no one says no to her," 

 

"You are the single greatest thing that keeps my head above water," Tony said with sincerity, "Thank you," 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT A RIDE!!
> 
> ohky so a few things!  
> 1 - i feel like i don't interact with a lot of you so, post a link of your most fave reader fic ever - i really wanna read it!  
> 2 - who do you think is the person who saw the reader and recognized her?  
> 3 - I'M REWRITING CIVIL WAR BECAUSE ANYTHING WILL BE BETTER THAN THAT BITCH FIGHT IN A 7/11 PARKING LOT  
> 4 - i love you all so much  
> 5 - peggy carter can never die


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohky so ... again... i went a little overboard... sorry ..... ????

Wesley looked at you- No, he  _stared_ at you. He had to be sure that his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. It had been a while. You didn't look much older from when he and you had shared an afternoon together. 

 

He took out his phone shortly after you were done playing the piano in the music shop. 

 

"Hello?" Wesley's voice was soft, "Sir, we need to meet. It's urgent. It appears that an old friend has finally been  _resurrected_ ," 

 

* * *

 

"Are you sure it was _her_?" Fisk asked he let Wesley into his home

 

"I'm positive. Our lead in France turned out to be true after all," Wesley stated his surprise and Fisk cracked a smile

 

"I believe that she's back with her family now and recovering," Fisk nodded slowly, "We should wait to see how her recovery goes and then we'll see if we should-,"

 

"If we should make a move?" Wesley finished his sentence and Fisk nodded, "I'll have someone pull up the red-eyed mutant's records so we can understand what crowd she's running in," 

 

"Thank you, Wesley," Fisk acknowledged solemnly

 

* * *

 

"You are the single greatest thing that keeps my head above water," Tony said with sincerity, "Thank you," 

 

"You're welcome," Pepper smiled, "However, still doesn't mean you're off the hook. Rhodey told me everything and seriously? You're not going to tell him?"

 

"Oh god, not this again. Pep, we have bigger issues here!" He groaned, "My love life- A lack of- Can take a back seat for this one," 

 

"It's taken a back seat ever since we broke up," She rolled her eyes, "Seriously, you need to put yourself back out there. You can't just be closed off in the lab all by yourself,"

 

"I'm not by myself!" Tony argued, "I have Bruce,"

 

"And when Bruce goes home, he has Betty," Pepper's eyes narrowed, "You need to tell him. Or..."

 

"Or what? What's the worst you can do, Potts?" Tony challenged with a smirk 

 

"Or I let it slip to Peter and you know that boy can't keep a secret when he gets excited," She smiled softly and his smirk dissolved completely 

 

"I should've never let you become friends with Rhodey," Tony sighed, "I'll think about it. Okay?" 

 

"Okay. Now, how are we going to deal with Phil? The world sort of thinks that Peggy is dead," Pepper pointed out and Tony nodded

 

"Guess the loop is about to become bigger," He shrugged, "He's a nice guy. We can trust him," 

 

* * *

 

"FRIDAY, give us privacy," Natasha stated loudly 

 

"I've been instructed to keep an eye on Sergent Barnes at all times," The AI answered and Bucky's eyes went wide

 

"Not when he's with me. Privacy.  _Now_ ," Her voice had a finality in it and the room was engulfed in silence whereas Bucky's eyes were roaming the room, trying the locate the source of the voice, "FRIDAY is the AI that runs this whole building," 

 

"Stark was gonna lead us to the future," Bucky said softly as he remembered the event he'd gone to the night before he was shipped out and Natasha shook her head

 

"No- He didn't," She smiled, "Howard's biggest achievement was Steve and that's it. Everything else, this building, that voice, that's all Tony," 

 

Bucky nodded and Natasha swallowed and reached out to hold both his hands

 

"James," She urged him to look her in the eyes, "I need you to remember, alright? Is any footage of you doing  _it_?"

 

"I-," Bucky wasn't sure, "I knew it wasn't right- they told me to find an abandoned road and I did-,"

 

"That's not my question," Natasha's jaw clenched and he nodded slowly

 

"Yes- There's- There's a video- I couldn't break the programming but I- I could find loopholes," He felt like a load had been lifted off of his chest to confess

 

"I'll take care of it," She promised and stood up 

 

"I should be punished- I did those things-," He withdrew his hands and leaned away from her

 

"I think we both know that you've suffered enough," Natasha said softly and kissed the top of his head before leaving his room 

 

She stood a while in the corridor before making her way to her quarters. Her heart was full for her old friend. She had to figure out where that tape was and destroy and then tell Tony herself about how Howard and his wife had died to avoid any outside damage. All the while before anyone else found out. 

 

* * *

 

You couldn't sleep. Your veins were practically buzzing with the noise of the city. Remy was in bed already but you were just pacing around. You weren't holding back, nor were you stopping yourself from feeling everything. It was like a drug coursing through you. 

 

" _I love every second of this. I never want to go back!_ " She was so happy too

 

Your heart was racing and your skin was glowing as your eyes burned because you just couldn't look away from the neon sign that was shining into the apartment. 

 

"I know- It's like I can feel every emotion in this building," You whispered to yourself and you didn't have to worry about FRIDAY listening in, "If I concentrate hard enough, I could probably feel the whole neighbourhood- maybe even the whole city," 

 

" _Should we try?!_ " She was ecstatic by the mere prospect of your powers growing more but you huffed a small laugh 

 

"I'd faint from exhaustion within minutes," You smiled to yourself and went back to sit on the couch

 

" _I want to go out- Wake Remy up_ ," She urged you and for the first time ever, you didn't want to argue 

 

You walked around the spacious place. Remy had taken out the album which you'd sent him a long time ago. You'd noticed how there wasn't even a single picture with Winter even though you remembered taking so many with him but you didn't say anything. You also noticed how there were empty spaces in the album, showing that a picture would've been there before but wasn't anymore. You frowned because it meant that you'd sent pictures of Winter but Remy had probably thrown them away. 

 

A picture with your hand stretched out and blue butterflies around the dorm room was one that caught your eye. It was the first time your illusion had shown on film. You finger traced the edges of the picture and you smiled to yourself as memories came to you. 

 

There were pictures of you playing the piano with your back turned, another picture where you were sitting in the balcony and painting your toenails. There was another in which you were in the kitchen but your head was thrown back in laughter and you knew that Winter had taken them, but again, you couldn't say anything to Remy. Your heart just ached for Winter. Your thoughts went back to Peter's text and you kept thinking of ways to be able to go back to the Tower but you hadn't manage anything as of yet. 

 

"I'll be seeing you soon," You promised yourself softly and walked towards the single bedroom in the apartment to wake Remy 

 

You shook him slightly but the man slept like a dead fish. 

 

"Rem," You urged again, "Wake up- I can't sleep- I want to go out," 

 

"What?" He groaned as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, "What time-,"

 

"A little after midnight," You explained, "Being out in the city- It's- I want to see the night- Can we just take a walk?" 

 

"Gambit has a better plan," Remy smirked and threw off his blanket 

 

In under an hour, Remy was ready. He was in his usual brown overcoat and maroon dress shirt and dark pants to match and a hat. You never understood the combo but he always pulled it off somehow. You'd taken a shower too and you were now in the same pair of jeans from the morning and one of Remy's shirts and a jacket that you'd been wearing before.

 

You left quietly so you wouldn't wake any of your neighbours. As soon as you got into the street, you couldn't help but ask Remy about the plans for the night. It was much colder now but the anticipation of where Remy was taking you sort of kept you warm. 

 

"Just tell me!" You begged again but the red-eyed mutant just laughed and shook his head 

 

You two took the cab into an empty downtown. Or rather, a much shadier part of the city. You didn't even think it was possible because Hells Kitchen was already doing a bang-up job of showing you dark and gloomy. 

 

"Welcome to the night we first met," Remy whispered to you as he led you to a crowd of people at the street as he paid the cab driver, "Oh, and, no real names," He winked at you  

 

"A street race?!" You gasped as you looked around and clouds of your breath radiated with each smile 

 

"Oh, fresh meat, Gambit?" A voice called out 

 

"Who's this?" You looked at Remy

 

"Name's Angel," The boy winked at you, "I run this show," He had blonde hair and even he was wearing an overcoat, "Who are you supposed to be?"

 

"I haven't decided on a name yet," You answered truthfully and Angel laughed heartily

 

"Well, we like honesty around here," He said softly, "And new people even more," 

 

"She's Gambit's friend," Remy said smoothly, "She's new- Just wanted to see the city- And shouldn't you be managing the club?" 

 

"I got Nightcrawler to take over for me," He shrugged, "He's a good kid and he needed the money. Do you race?" Angel's eyes swept over you and you swallowed

 

"I don't know," You stated honestly 

 

"We don't start until 1:30," He smirked, "Let me know if you're in- Or even if you've got a car," 

 

"Well, well, well," Someone else spoke up, "Look at what the cat dragged in," 

 

"Must be the end of times if he's not with his boyfriend," Another voice laughed 

 

"Wolverine is not Gambit's boyfriend," Remy gave a defeated sigh

 

"Sounds like you've had to explain that one a lot," You giggled and Remy shot you a look

 

"Who's the girl, Gambit?" A redhead girl with a white patch of hair approached, "Or have you completely lost your manners?"

 

"I haven't decided on a name yet," You repeated yourself with a smile

 

"Oh, I like honesty, sweetheart," She smiled and offered her gloved hand, "I'm Rogue," 

 

"Isn't it after curfew,  _darling_?" Remy flirted and Rogue rolled her eyes

 

"Why do you care anyway?" She sounded annoyed but you could feel how both of them enjoyed this little tug of war 

 

"I'm just gonna look at- at the cars," You mumbled softly enough to know that neither of them would hear it and left them to their devices 

 

You sort of wandered off to see the cars that race soon enough and one really caught your eye. It was so  _bright_ , how could anyone not notice it? It looked like it was made of  _diamonds_. It was a white Porche and you were completely mesmerised. 

 

"Like it?" A woman asked and when you turned, you saw a blonde lady in all white clothes

 

"Yeah- It's so- Like- I can't even explain," You were at a loss for words, "Sorry- It's my first time here. I don't even know if I'm allowed to look at the cars or not," 

 

"It's alright," She assured you, "No one ever comes to mine because they're scared of me," 

 

"Oh, don't worry," You laughed as you remembered what you've been through, "I don't get scared that easy," 

 

"I like you," She smiled widely, "I'm the White Queen," 

 

"I got that- Outfit wise," You pointed out, "So I suppose you're the reigning champ?"

 

"Whenever I get the time to come here," She leaned over the hood of her car, "What's your name?" 

 

"I don't have one yet," You felt like a broken record

 

"Are you going to race?" She asked and you could feel that she was intrigued by you 

 

"I'm not sure- I don't exactly have a car," You huffed a laugh

 

"Oh, that shouldn't be a problem," She stood up straight, "Riptide," She called out and in a whirlwind, a man with brunette hair and almost menacing eyes was standing with the two of you, " _Get an extra car. I want to see her drive_ ," And there it was. The venom behind her words showed you exactly how she stomped out the new competition

 

"I don't even know if I can," You ran your fingers through your hair

 

"Guess we'll find out," She told you sweetly but her animosity was almost bubbling, "Come on, let me show you around," 

 

" _She's threatened,_ " The voice in your head was almost stoic and you agreed but your expressions didn't change, " _Don't trust her and don't drive whatever she gives you_ ," 

 

"So, how do people here decide on a name?" You couldn't help but ask, "Do you have to just stick to one?" 

 

"Oh, no, no," She laughed melodically, "I've changed many names myself. It's just an alias. You can pick whatever you want. Here you're known by your powers," 

 

"So, everyone's a mutant here?" You whispered with wonder as you looked around and saw all sorts of people

 

"Mutants and enhanced," She nodded, "Basically, anyone who can do something- They're welcome. Gambit's an old one, you know. But we hadn't seen him for months," 

 

"Yeah, that's on me," You smiled as your eyes went back to Remy and Rogue bickering, "I came in around late October and Re- I mean, Gambit and I have kinda been joined at the hip," 

 

"Hey, Princess, is that your date for tonight?" A girl with completely white hair asked, "Maybe she wants to ride with me?" She winked at you and you blinked numbly even though you had very easily picked up on her flirtation 

 

"She's not my date, Strom. She's Gambit's," White Queen corrected and Storm pouted a bit

 

"Actually I'm not anyone's date- Just wanted to see the night scene of the city," You interjected, "And Queenie has been nice enough to show me around," 

 

"Oh, she's already got pet names, Princess," Storm said, "Sure she's not your date?" 

 

"Let Angel know you're racing with my car. I'll see you on the track," The White Queen stated and left you with Storm 

 

"Are you and her?" You asked and she chuckled softly 

 

"She's playing hard to get," Storm groaned, "I told her that I'll win a race for a date but my mistake because Princess doesn't lose," 

 

"Don't lose hope just yet," You smirked because now you really wanted a car and you were hoping that amongst the many skills that HYDRA had given you, driving was one of them, "Who knows, I might get beginners luck?" 

 

"With what car, no name?" A guy laughed and offered you a beer

 

"Don't mind him, he just likes to mess around with people- Thinks that his name gives him the permission to do so," Storm added as she rolled her eyes and the guy draped his arm over her shoulder

 

"I'm Havok," He took another sip of his drink, "And if you want a car- Ask that guy," He pointed to a man who was surrounded by girls

 

"Why would he give me a car? You all barely know me," Your brows furrowed even though Storm and Havok felt like they were being completely sincere

 

"True- But if we like to take a chance on people who might give Princess a run for her money," Storm explained with a devilish smirk

 

"So, what can you do?" Havok asked without hesitation and Storm elbowed him, "What? Not like you haven't been thinkin' about it," 

 

"I- Uh- What can _you_ do?" You asked him in turn and he laughed loudly

 

"Energy bursts from my chest," He leaned close to you, "And my arms if I'm really angry- Storm can- Well- She's not very creative- She can-,"

 

"Create weather anomalies?" You chuckled and she folded her arms over her chest

 

"I was a child and the name stuck," She pouted and narrowed her eyes, "And you?"

 

"Anything you want," You said slowly and Havok leaned closer again

 

"Explain," He stated simply

 

"I mean- I can do anything you want," You smirked, "I can manipulate reality for anyone I want," 

 

"You're an Omega!" Both of them squealed, "We _have_ to get you a car- No way Princess is winning!" Storm added as Havok ran off to call the guy he'd pointed to before 

 

"How come you call her Princess? She said her name the White Queen?" You finally asked as curiosity got the better of you

 

"She keeps changing her name but when I met her, it was Ice Princess," Storm explained, "And she's changed a few names since then but I keep calling her that and she hasn't wiped my memories so I don't think she minds that much," 

 

"Hey, so, this is-," Havok came back with  _another_ blonde guy and you were beginning to wonder if every mutant guy was blonde 

 

"The Human Torch," He said sweetly and reached to kiss your knuckles, "Or Johnny, if you want to still call me in the morning," He added with a wink

 

"I need a car," You withdrew your hand, "Please?" You put in as an afterthought

 

"Only if you promise to go on a date with me," Johnny said with a smile and you were almost choking on the cockiness that was washing off of him in waves

 

"Sure," You shook his hand, "If I lose, that is," 

 

You stood and spoke to a few more of their friends and that's when it suddenly hit you. The intense dislike coming from Queen. You thanked your mutantcy for not accepting her car because there was an emptiness behind her eyes that knew was wrong even without needing to feel. After a while, you walked to Remy to tell him that you were going to race. He was exactly where you'd left him; with Rogue. So, you just passed by them and went to Angel. 

 

"I'm telling you, you ain't gone soft! You just don't care about me, no more," Rogue's words were raspy and hurt 

 

" _My sweetest_ , that's not true, you know Gambit cares," Remy was trying to apologize but it would actually kill him to use to word  _sorry_ , you assumed

 

_"It's like listening to a married couple_ ," The voice in your head almost groaned and you giggled to yourself but came to a halt 

 

"Focus," You whispered as you zeroed in on the arguing two and their emotions, sifting through the layers of everything else were feeling on top, "Huh, interesting," You pulled away and made your way to Angel

 

"I don't have extra cars, if that what you're here to ask?" Angel was scrolling through his phone 

 

"No, I wanted to put myself down for the race," You told him softly 

 

"You sure you wanna experiment with the Queen around?" He cocked a brow, "Newbies don't usually race with her," 

 

"I do, especially with her around," You nodded, "And write my name down as  _Experiment_ because I still haven't come up with one yet," 

 

"Yes, ma'am- What's your power? I have to keep track of everything," You told him without hesitation, but not everything, just the reality manipulation part, not the emotional aspect of it all and he fed it into whatever system he had, "Word of advice- Don't believe anything you see- She's a psychic, she can mess with your mind," 

 

"If she does then she'll find out that my mind isn't a nice place to be," You smiled innocently and walked off 

 

"Wheels up in 5!!" Angel took off his coat and screamed from overhead 

 

You were almost mesmerized by the beauty of his wings but you had bigger fish to fry and it was only because you were feeling petty. Remy hadn't discovered that you were racing just yet because you knew that if he would've then he would try to talk you out of it. Johnny sat explained you the navigation system and the route that was supposed to be taken and now you were just waiting for the cars to start. You turned the key and the engine revved. The vibration sent a shiver down your spine and your lips curled into a smile. 

 

"You there?" You asked yourself; or rather, your other self

 

" _My, my, call the historians. This is the first time you've called for me,_ " Her laugh was almost contagious 

 

"I'm just- Probably really stupid to ask now but- We can drive, right? Good enough to win?" Your knuckles were tight around the stirring wheel 

 

" _Yes, we can drive. Quite well, actually,_ " She assured you, " _And if Queenie tries something, don't worry. I'll keep you safe,_ "

 

"Thanks," You breathed softly, "Hey- What- What do I even call you?"

 

" _You want my name?_ " She was surprised, " _It's Siren- But you already knew that, didn't you?_ "

 

* * *

 

"Siren," Crossbones called out, "Are you ready to go?" 

 

"Yes," You smiled brightly, "Don't wait up, Soldier Boy," You winked at the man with the mask and the silver arm 

 

Crossbones took your arm and you followed him through a corridor which opened into a massive ballroom. 

 

"Eyes on target," You whisper to him softly as he takes you across the dancefloor and you begin to sway with him, "He's here alone," Your eyes followed the target slowly but not so much that it would seem suspicious

 

"Good girl," Crossbones nodded approvingly, "If this mission succeeds, you'll have one more bodyguard," 

 

"You mean another babysitter," You shot back and he dipped you so you get a better vantage point of your surroundings

 

"Is he giving you trouble?" He asked and you cocked a brow, "Don't worry- No one's listening in right now," 

 

"No- He behaves perfectly," You lied and thought of the kiss you had given him over his mask, "He never talks, however," 

 

"He can't," He lied right back to you, "He's a mute," 

 

"Shame," You sighed, "Pretty eyes, though," And then Crossbones faltered for a second as his jealousy filled your blood and his lips crashed against your as if you possess you even though he knew he couldn't

 

You savoured the taste of him as you let him think that it was just part of the cover but you knew better. When he pulled away, his lips were a shade of your gloss and there was a shine in his eye. 

 

"Target almost saw us," He lied again and you nodded, letting him believe that he was good enough to convince you 

 

* * *

 

"Rumlow," You gasped as a memory surfaced and your vision went blurry, " _And_ Winter?"  

 

"And GO!!" Someone yelled and cars rushed past you but your car was unmoving until Remy knocked on the window, urging you to come out and screaming that it was a bad idea

 

Your mind came back to your body and you pulled the car into gear to race off. You were only about a minute and a half behind but you could hardly even see taillights of the last cars and no doubt, White Queen would've been in the front. You floored it and somehow the roar of the engine seemed to become even louder. 

 

The leather seat beneath you was slowly enveloping you as you sank into it due to the speed. 

 

"Showtime, fuckers," You cackled as cars began to fall back to make room for you so you could drive in a straight line; making it easier to limit the speed so you the car wouldn't lose control. 

 

The other drivers kept driving safely but your body was beginning to weaken because you were showing so many people various illusions. Nothing dangerous, just making them go off route for long enough to not be trouble for you anymore. 

 

Before you knew it, you were out of breath but catching up to the Queen herself. Her bright car couldn't be missed. 

 

"I hope I can beat you without my powers," You groaned as you pushed the accelerator down as hard as you could to catch up with her, "Stay sharp- I don't want her in my head," You told yourself 

 

" _I'll break her mind if she tries anything,_ " Siren laughed softly and you cut through a shortcut that Jhonny had shown you

 

It was oddly comforting to find a friend within your own self. A few minutes of silence later, you came onto a street and suddenly you were driving right alongside Queen's car. Needless to say, she wasn't happy. She turned her stirring wheel hard and tried to crash into your but you'd anticipated it through her malice so both your feet had pressed down on the brake. 

 

It gave you a thirty-second headstart because her car had gone completely off track and into the dirt and you were in the clear. 

 

When you got to the finish line, it was eerily quiet. When you got out of the car, it was silence, still. 

 

"I won, right?" You looked around and Remy tackled you with a hug; that's when everyone cheered

 

"I can't believe a no-name did it!", "Her reign ends tonight,", "Fuckin' finally!" Everyone was talking in a crowd and gathered around you 

 

Johnny pushed passed everyone and you handed him the keys back.

 

"Guess, I don't get that date, after all?" He chuckled and you hugged him 

 

"No, but you get this," You laughed with him and as a thank you for the car with the adrenaline of the race was still rushing through your veins, you pulled him in for a rough kiss that was all teeth and tongue 

 

Remy was shocked, to say the least, and Johnny didn't mind at all as his arms circled around your waist and pulled you closer. You were just about to get lost in it went another car finally screeched to a halt only a few feet from you. 

 

"You cheated!" The White Queen screamed as she got out and slammed the door close, "I _know_ you cheated!"

 

"Come on, darlin _'_ , no need to be a sore loser," Remy stood in front of you and so did Johnny 

 

"She used  _my_ car and you know that I'm many things but not a cheater," Johnny's words were like ice but Queen just smirked and turned into diamonds, "Flame on," His body erupted into a fire, "Don't do anything stupid,  _Emma_ ," 

 

"Leave them alone- I won, fair and square," You pushed through, "You're the only one I didn't use my powers on!" 

 

"Well, in that case, let's just forget that this little squabble ever even happened," She took a step forward and you stumbled back

 

"Don't do anything you'll regret," You were fearful  _for_ her if she entered your mind, "My mind isn't a place you want to step into," 

 

"Let's find out," She said softly and her hands went to her forehead so she could focus and zero in on your brain

 

It took a few moments and her shriek was almost ear-shattering as your body projected an energy wave that pushed through everyone. 

 

"What just happened?" Havok whispered as he looked at Queen's fallen body that had reverted back to her human form and was lying on the ground

 

"She did something regrettable," Your voice didn't have any emotion in it but you sighed softly because it was still a waste of time and a reason to go home now

 

"Hey, Experiment, your winnings for the night!" Angel called out and waved an envelope 

 

"Give it to Storm! I kind of ruined her date night" You answered as you took your jacket from Johnny's car and gave him your number, "And by the way, I decided on a name," 

 

"Yeah? What's that?" Johnny asked but Angel and Remy, even Storm and Havok's attention was on you

 

"Siren," You said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my older cousin is in town and her life is extremely interesting - honestly - i think i might mak a fic or two out of her life because holy shit ... shes seen toomuch and sometimes i wonder HOW is she still alive?

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment! I live for your feedback!! Message me on my tumblr at totallynotashieldagent and let me know what you think!


End file.
